I won't let the P words get me down,
I'll continue life without a frown!
Thursday, 8 January 2026
And Now, A Joke About Peter Rabbit....
What is Peter Rabbit's favourite ice cream?
Hop fudge sundaes!
One Rude Tater (An Anti-Disney Protest Poem Themed Around Toy Story)
Disney! How dare you make Toy Story 5
It’s the worst thing I’ve seen since Dead Or Alive
Remember back them when CGI was no big deal
Or when Timon and Pumbaa had bugs for every meal?
Well let me tell you, folks, it ain’t true
So that’s why I’m bringing this message to you
Back then, our days with Andy are full of splendor
But you’re filling our movies with AI slop gore!
I mean, look what we’ve been through today
Disney knows magic doesn’t naturally pay
They replaced gentle princesses with adorkable teens,
They focused on teen sitcoms, you know what this means?
Us characters are gonna be thrown aside
If we don’t do as well as Kiara besides
It looks like Disney is dominated by AI!
The lions look real in The Lion King,
I’ve never heard of such a thing!
Plus Moana’s coming back and it’s all CGI
How can you do this? It makes my brain fry
And fly right up into the dark sky
Remember back then when Andy held us close?
He was the one we loved the most
Now Bonnie is just a spoiled high pitched brat
Who panics when playing and that is that
Have you ever seen the kids in Toy Story 3
They panic when they play with us even before tea
It’s like aliens are invading, no offence
To the Little Green Men who owe me sixpence
Back when Andy kept us, we were in Heaven
Even before this annoying 6-7
Mr Potato Head was rude and annoyed
But he still cared for us and his owner boy
Slinky played chess even before Buzz came
Without Andy, life wasn’t always the same
I can hear Bonnie screaming outside in the yard
It makes my ears bleed, and they bleed hard!
And those Disney Junior shows put me off guard
Disney Junior’s dominated by CGI
They think it replaces cherries in a pie
Everything except Bluey is made in 3D
Why can’t you do characters drawn on paper for me?
Then I’ll have fast paced Mickey’s flesh for tea!
Pixar itself is going downhill
Life hasn’t been much of a thrill
Especially with sequels going around
With shaky camera movements and loud sounds
And what is Disney Channel like these days?
They think Big City Greens is the new craze
As well as teen sitcoms, give them a break
Making new content is a piece of cake
But don’t make sitcoms, make something unique
Leave out the hysterics, leave out the chique
And I wish we had the old Little Bo Peep!
All these films and shows make me really mad
With that I shall tip off my hat
And throw it like a frisbee towards your neck
And slice it until blood makes the place wet!
No hand drawn characters? It makes me pissed
It makes viewers wonder, what did I miss?
Well they miss nothing, everything is crap
It’s too unoriginal to run another lap!
All studios these days are entering the race
To send sequels and remakes all over the place
But we, Andy’s toys, have had enough
Of all the soulless predictable stuff
And now you’re plotting to rid Pooh of his fluff!
The hand drawn animation is thrown in the bin
The ratings on Disney Junior are all thin
And so is Disney Channel, hear this, guys
When we burst through the door you’ll get a surprise
And during revenge, there’s no need for disguise!
With help from our fans, we can save our lives
And bring back magic day and night
Because we hate Disney’s new money scheme
We’re in danger, if you know what I mean
And in case you don’t know where we’ve been…
“You’ve got a friend in me….”
Friendly Thoughts - Hold Me Close
I have some shocking (well, not at all shocking) news to tell you all about Transformers Armada. Last night I couldn't get to sleep, and listening to the same old stories didn't do me any good. Then, I remembered something: back when my days of anxiety were upon me, I was falling asleep to things like My Little Pony and If You Give A Mouse A Cookie on Prime Video on my A.
So I thought to myself, why don't I let the Transformers soothe me to sleep? So, after some failed attempts at letting the Teen Titans soothe me to sleep, who should soothe me to sleep but the kind hearted, slow paced team of Autobots from Transformers Armada. Especially Optimus Prime.
As I was falling asleep to the slow paced yet heavy hitting action packed adventures of the Autobots, I thought about the kind, deep caress of Optimus' giant arms around Furaha and Orko, how they sigh softly as he cradled them to sleep, and how much pleasure and sensuality they get from being with a kind, loving carer like the big 'bot. Sorry, Cheetor.
"No offence, man."
Wheras Applejack gets to sleep by listening to Little Big Town on her Equestrizon Call, and Mouse eats extra cookies and drinks a really big glass of milk before bedtime, Optimus does exactly the opposite. He cares deeply and comfortably for our two friends, Furaha and Orko, like he is a second father to them. Kiburi and Ua will be proud.
And in my dreams, I swore I could hear him whisper to Furaha:
"Close your eyes. Now forget what you see. What do you feel?"
Wednesday, 7 January 2026
Friendly Thoughts - Just Siblings
Siblings. They've been on this planet since the beginning of our time on Earth. There were cave siblings, Roman siblings, Greek siblings and Georgian siblings. But when I think of siblings, I always think of my dog as a sibling to me - me? I'm Horrid Henry. My dog? Perfect Peter.
It all started yesterday at lunch, when we were fighting over air-fryer cooked chicken nuggets - I can talk, Mylo can't so he can't scream "MUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!" like Perfect Peter does. And this morning, we were fighting over Shreddies because it kept spilling on my pyjamas like Adult Swim-produced toxic waste. We were fighting over who gets the bowl of milk as I took it into the kitchen, and as a result my dog ripped up a pair of my pyjamas so I had to lure him away with TreatOs.
As for Horrid Henry and Perfect Peter themselves, their aggressive relationships continue throughout every single book their creator Francesca Simon spews out - so much so that we have repeated catchphrases, the yell of "Don't be horrid, Henry!", and sometimes the occasional repeat of the time when Horrid Henry read some books, or engaged in a bake off, or...I can't even remember that. However in the TV show, Horrid Henry and Peter's relationship slowly changed.
At the beginning of the series, which remained faithful to the original books, Henry and Peter were fighting a lot, but when the series was toned down to feature stuff like modern technology and Number Gnomes and Fimbles references, Henry and Peter suddenly got on very well, and almost every single episode produced at the time showed Henry becoming less and less horrid until he wasn't as horrid as he used to be anymore. Now he is 'Humble Henry'.
Speaking of which...
My characters Furaha and Orko have been siblings ever since Orko welcomed Furaha into her life when she was born. Now, the two get on extremely well, unlike Henry and Peter. They share their interests and secrets, giggle over the funniest things and share the same relationships with their family and friends, neither of them ever gets jealous. That's because Orko had developed a healthy relationship with his sister the moment she was born, and whatever they did from cuddling Furaha's favourite rabbit to tickling and cradling, Furaha wasn't just a pet to Orko, it was like he had a second daughter.
He is so lucky to have a nice, gentle little sister like Furaha.
"Friends like us will never part,
I'll always keep you close to my heart."
- Orko to baby Furaha
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