- Guys, I feel so dizzy and sick. And my throat feels like someone forced me to swallow sandpaper.
- TIN TIN: Oh, poor baby.
- LADY PENELOPE: I understand too - my little one's so sick.
- ALAN: Look at her eyes - they're so tired they could clap shut in seconds.
- Well, guys, I had this weird dream last night. I was looking at a dictionary of weird words, then Luke, Resus and Cleo came along and warned me about the future of kids' TV - it will fall to ruins if they don't get the help they need. And they only died about four months ago.
- ALAN: We miss them so much, too. In fact it's been years since us puppet Tracys were really off the air, so love is all you need right now.
- TIN TIN: You read that Tired Ninja book, hmmm?
- Yeah.
- TIN TIN: Well, he said what you need is plenty of rest, to eat healthy, to dump all those little ideas of your's into a sparkly little journal, and to spend few minutes before bed brushing your teeth, dumping your ideas into a journal or to do list, and little light reads.
- Mmmmmm. Little light reads.
- ALAN: Aaaaawww. Look, she's falling asleep already. Her eyes and legs are so tired.
- TIN TIN: That's what connects our bodies all together, Alan.
Hello, dear friends, I am Badger. I'm so glad you've come across this post. It seems that to us CBBC characters, listening to the music of Cee Lo Green has triggered fond memories of Luke, Resus and Cleo, who tragically gave their lives in the fight to de-Americanise British kids' TV. That, my friends, is what our mourning creator thought about when she went on a picnic with her support worker.
They had sausage rolls, pork cocktail sausages, a chocolate brownie (no Haribo milk bottles were available, but I dare say that Mole loves to steal them from the corner shop near White Deer Park) and of course a strawberry milk. While she tucked into her meal, my friend was happy to listen to all the calm sounds around her - sheep bleating, pheasants calling out and water splashing gently. When she saw her support worker walking across the beach, she imagined Luke wearing his clothes and Cee Lo's shades and walking in mournful slow motion across the beach, thinking about how his home turned out today.
Then, they went to the hair salon to get her hair done. And judging by how itchy her back was, it seems she had a ball talking with the hairdresser about what she's been up to. She talked about baking and playdates and that sickness bug she caught, and of course, digital detoxing. She's been having that detox thing ever since last Thursday afternoon, where when it got to lunch she would switch everything off and go and do something else instead.
Come to think of it, I miss Why Don't You...those young scamps and rascals hosting, getting kids to play and learn. I miss them so much, as does Fox. As much as he misses Brum, Noddy, Fireman Sam, Postman Pat, or Pingu for that matter. I miss them all.
I was walking past the hair salon yesterday with Mole on the way to the store to get him a squishy, for he was developing anxiety and he too was going onto a digital detox from too much screen time for seven years flat. While we passed, we peered round the door to eavesdrop on what our friend was talking to her hairdresser about. One of the things she talked about was:
A small four year old boy who screams to get his way and get out of getting a haircut. No matter what she and his grandpa did to bribe him in, be it sweets or a question about what he wants for Christmas, he just refuses, and then yells:
"BYE!"
After the appointment like it never happened. Thank you for the honors, Mole.
"Your welcome, Badger."
Although it felt painful at times, and the hair mousse smelled of gone off apple champagne, it went well, and my friend got a Galaxy and a Milky Way bar. Oops! I forgot. I have to show you a clip from The Nightmare Before Christmas and Milky Way's famous car advert...And when my friend got home, her mother constantly talked about how beautiful her hair was, and even her dog Mylo went all soppy over it, and turned into a polar bear rolling about on her bed. I think it reminds me of a dog we ran into while we were on our way to White Deer Park. It got all soppy whenever we mentioned anything about snow.
Soppy disease, I call it.
And now, without further ado, I present the song that was playing in my friend's head as she thought about not just Luke, but also Twilight Sparkle and her husband Mordecai too, they got married three years after production on Friendship Is Magic. Kindly do the honors for us, Cee Lo.
Well, my dream started when Luke, Resus, Cleo and I went on a tour of the 2 Entertain headquarters, and decided to sneak into the Walking With Monsters room. We found ourselves in a murky swamp, where we were swimming with snakes! The narrator of Walking With Monsters told us we were in the land of the Snake Woman, the first human ever to roam the swamps of Earth.
The Snake Woman had Indian skin, white hair and no clothes on at all, and her body was covered from head to toe in snakes. We had to escape, and fast! When we did, we went into a muddy bedroom overflowing with porridge which we had to escape using a ladder through the roof, saw a slave camp for discarded children's TV characters (not that, NO!) and finally made it out alive.
Oh my god, I never had a dream like this. I don't want to see that Snake Woman, do you?
