- Honestly, Bob? This DVD is just too noisy and overwhelming!
- Well, we just wanted to make this DVD to make kids happy and full of energy.
- But Bob, look at what you've done! It says here in our annual HIT Reports 2004 that no matter how loud you try to be on this DVD, some kids have sensitive hearing. I think it's called autism. From my childcare experiences, I've dealt with children with autism before - they're so anxious they can become overwhelmed by loud noises and bright lights. My show does none of that.
- Mine neither, but let's say it's just a one off.
- A one off? There's loads of autistic children out there who need slow paced, calming entertainment, like mine for instance. Can't you just make 'Quietest Children's Favourites'? You could take Barney and The Wiggles out and just add quieter episodes of our shows for starters.
- Sorry, Kipper, but we don't have enough time. By the way, I've got an important list of things to do. See?
- That's a very long list. How do you manage to fit all this in one day?
- Hmmmmm....well, let's just say I rely on Scoop over there.
- No way! You plugged Scoop into the wall with an electronic socket?
- I am the head of HIT Entertainment, and I had this elecnotronic keyboard plugged right into Scoop's petrol tank. Whatever I type, Scoop produces.
- No, that's too cruel! Bob, just unplug Scoop and try to think about other people just this once, please. You can't rely on a machine to do anything like that. Anything made for the algorithm is pure noise and fast scene changes.
- Ah - aaaaaaaaah. *types on his keyboard* Scoop, generate a new Kipper DVD for me, please.
*Scoop glitches out, then*
- No job, Bob.
- See? You're not the mutt for the job either. Kids deserve loud, fast content in their busy lives. I'm afraid you're disqualified.
- NO!
- I seriously need to do something about it. Kipper's so upset with what Bob did with his life.
No comments:
Post a Comment