Day 20 - Static Cling

Day 19 - Where's Rocko?

Things I Learnt From Rocko

What's it like for a wallaby - more preferably, a cartoon one - to live on his own? More importantly, what's it like to work as a comic book store owner, AND as a therapist? You see, Rocko's a good therapist, and he taught me everything I need to know about patience, being sick and getting essentials. Here are a few things he taught me from his own experiences:

• Explore while you wait. They may be other people at the counter of T T Retro, but trust me, there are loads of good things to explore. At his comic book store, Rocko dresses up as a superhero named W.O Man, and encourages the kids who visit to be patient and look at all the awesome things for sale while they wait for their turn to buy and pay. So, Rocko, I'm taking your advice from now on. Good lad, Rocks!
• Only eat three. At McDonald's, only three things are enough. Three pieces of chicken nuggets. Small Chicken McNuggets are fine, but, yeah, even French Fries need some respect, and if you're too full to eat your brownie, then drink your Coke instead. Even Rocko was proud of me for refusing to eat a pork belly that my support worker was eating - see? He doesn't obey Henry Danger any day!
• Buy it somewhere else. So, if you can't actually buy Supercar and Narnia in T T Retro, buy it online instead! Sure, Supercar was available on the Gerry Anderson shop, but sadly...only the Narnia audio stories are available. So, I bought a Sun Wordsearch instead! I do wish Rocko told me that before I went on that online shop.
• Take the essentials. Oi, if you're going to have a headache, ask your support worker to get you a nice cool bottle of fresh water and you can take some paracetamol in case your head starts thumping like the heavy metal music in the room below Elsa's family room in The Bed & Breakfast Star.
• Ignore any audiobooks with miserable narration or which trigger bad memories. Mainly Starring Tracy Beaker and Hetty Feather. Ladies and gentlemen, from now on Starring Tracy Beaker is history, and no longer will you be able to hear Hetty Spaghetti!
• Save other works for later. When you have other, important stuff you want to do like stories or songs, make a Save For Later Jar. The jar should contain every single story you want to save for later, plus songs and scripts you want to do later also.

So thanks, Rocks. Even though your show is filled with the kind of gross out humor '90s kids want, it's still full of awesome surprises and cartoony twists and turns - you're a cartoon character. You can squash, stretch, do almost anything you want to do - except go onto Adult Swim of course.

See you next therapy session in O-Town!

Party Palzooa Day 18: And Now, Emilie Simon With A Pre Birthday Performance.....

Party Palzooa Day 17: Your New Favourite Grown Up Animation!

Things I Learned From Phillip

Well, kids, my first self therapy session with this fine, ugly-looking horse named Phillip worked up a treat, didn't it? Well, I learnt a few things from him about how to cope with life, thanks to him and his magic green notebook - and his magic chair of course. Here are ten things I've learnt:

1.Set different times of the day for different things. So, the fine young mare told me that mornings are reserved for stories, post-naps are reserved for daydream journalling and evenings are reserved for packing things away and chilling out. Every part of the day has purpose and meaning, as explained in both Power Rangers Time Force and Brother Bear.

2.Check and see. When I go to Fox & Friends, there may be a chance that they may have their telly on, or there may be a kids' session on. So, always check with your support worker to see - if the telly's on, or any kids are leggin' it screaming around the room, then it's a definite out.

3.Write a wish list for T T Retro. Oh my god, you should visit T T Retro, there are so many things to buy, to see, to discover, to do - unless you're Chris and Pui and you're visiting a local nursery. So, a wish list would work wonders - and if that doesn't work, try labelling the pouches!

4.Write a special T T Retro diary. If you have so many things on your wish list, don't fret. You can keep a special diary entry in the voice of the characters you want to get. But only choose one, though, too much will mist up yer 'ead! Speaking of which...

5.Get some fresh air. Luckily, going out for a night walk can work wonders on a misty brain, and also going for walks on the beach or in the forest with a support worker can really work wonders if you've run out of ideas.

6.There'll be enough food to go around. With Britain running out of meat and pork-based food, we're all going vegan at the moment. With everyone about to eat like cavemen in six weeks time, there's no need to fret, because you can always ask your support worker to get you some vegan sausage rolls, some chicken bites or some Pot Noodle. You'll thank your tummy later.

7....hang on, what is Number 7?

That's it?!

Anyway, I have but this deformation of an animated horse to thank for helping me see the light. Bena.

"BENA!"

"What? You are all worshipping baked beans! Come on, we're going to Dunkin' Donuts."

Happiness List 16/4/26: Old Nigg

1.Inspired magic

2.Old Nigg Church

3.Collecting eggs

4.A new livestream

5.Ministry Of Mayhem (TV series)

6.Morning workouts

7.Making an omelette by myself

8.Posting letters at night

9.K9 (Doctor Who character)

10.Shalimar (perfume)

Party Palzooa Day 16: Good News, Everyone!

Party Palzooa Day 15: Here Comes K9

 

Party-Palzooa Day 14: The Musical Doctor

If The Britain Get Talking Ad Break Had Background Music

Uncle Grizzly's Favourite Song

The Day I Went Vegan & A Load Of Other Stuff

A host of remarkable things happened to me today. Which things, you ask? Let me explain...

First off, since red meat is told to give you colon cancer, I decided to switch to vegan meat and chicken instead. Sure, Quorn's cocktail sausages taste of pig manure, but of course, Wall's Vegan Sausage Rolls and ASDA's new Chicken Sausages tasted better than before. Sure, they may taste like they've been made with vegetables from a compost heap, but still, they tasted wonderful as a piece of pink chocolate cake. And still will be!

Announcement number 2: I was extremely busy. How busy, you ask? Well, I tidied and sorted everything until Mum had quite enough, stating the house looked like something out of TLC's Hoarders - even using the horrendously annoying subtitles. I sorted out which things to keep, donate and throw away, and I made piles in my den: some to throw away, and some to donate to charity.

Announcement number 3: I just made the most genius purchase in my life: ordering a pair of shower goggles. It is pink, and it has eyelashes on it, so much so that I named it Belinda. Mum thought I was an absolutely genius shopper, getting something that can help me when I'm in the shower.

Oh my god, you all should be proud of me! I'm a genius little shoppy-wopper. Right?