Daydream Journal - The Water Sprites

Despite being normal human beings, my baby self, my mummy Lady Penelope and all our friends from Tracy Island were water beings, living unclothed in the natural Tracy Forest and protecting a sacred pool, which we swim in every day.

Daydream Journal - The First Elegant Woman On Earth

Lady Penelope ('15) was the first elegant woman and proper human being on Earth. I was her three year old daughter, and her mission for the primitive time was to teach me all she could about the harmonious natural world she lived in.

This Show In Four Words

Cocomelon:

Low stimulating edition.

When I See An Exercise Routine Repeated In Boohbah

"Well, we could've asked Mrs Wood to let us wave our arms wildly in the air about five times, but no stuff, I think they didn't listen. Not at all. They asked us to hop on one leg or they'll forbid me from doing yoga for a whole week. But that's not fair! Why can't they let us choose what WE do during the show? I wish they did, but...

We're not real."

- Jumbah, during an interview on Daybreak, 2008

And Now, A Lesson On Non-Food Gluttony...

It's Thunder Time!

Yesterday was the most momentous day in the history of my life ever - I went back to T T Retro! Wahey! It was just the same as I thought it was when I first entered, and I met this nice young girl named Heather, who was searching for a comic for her own too.

I was searching for a comic too, and guess what I picked?

Guess.

Exactly, you've got it:

THUNDERCATS!

This was a comic by WildStorm, and boy did it inspire me, from the moment we left the shop all the way to when I got home. I was completely intrigued by all the characters, especially Hashi-San, a ninja character who tried to battle Mumm-Ra in order to free Lion-O and Cheetara. My favourite character was Snarf, and even though he made only one appearance in only three panels, I believe he is still useful, no matter how annoying people view him.

It had inspired a slew of new story ideas and new ideas for world building, including:

• Snarf & Deviot being friends
• 52 Lost Galaxy Road
• The 2011 version of Snarf being the pet of a new Bluey OC based on my new friend, a 14 year old grey furred dog who is friends with the little red booger
• Wileykit and Wileykat (the '80s versions) living with the Lost Galaxy rangers at 12 Galactic Avenue
• Heatheria - an enchanted, flowering place in Third Earth
• Hanai - A Third Earth version of Hawaii, the most peaceful and relaxing place on the place, where I thought Cheetara was going on holiday due to all the other members of her crew going all 'Shut Up Meg' on her.
• The Dragon & The Wolf - A stream of conciousness, mindful story of Deviot and Snarf going on a walk across the ancient natural landscape of China after being handed amulets by the Queen Of Xao Ping that represent the creatures they were in their past lives.
• The Ocean Woman - A relaxing, mindful stream of conciousness story about 'Sea Humans' - humans who can live, breathe and see underwater, as Tin Tin, the most elegant Sea Human in the ocean, embarks on a gentle, kind journey to find some new friends to call her own.

And, this magical comic also inspired me to watch some new series, including: Push Nevada, Birds Of Prey and Firefly. I watched Firefly this morning, and what did I think of it? I'll put it in Simple English because you know how autistic people adjust to difficult words:

It was boring and hard to follow.

Be seeing you soon, my little Snarfy-Warfy.

Move Along, Nothing Special

It is an absolute OUTRAGE! CBBC, CBeebies and Channel 4 are at least trying to play their part in Autism Awareness Day, but with the rise of the streaming era, why? Why can't they even do something special for Autism Awareness Day?

First, let's start with CBeebies. They premiered Pablo only a few years ago, back in 2017, so there's nothing wrong with that. And CBBC has done - you guessed it - nothing special, focusing only on loud, overstimulating imports rather than a special kind of lineup. Listen here, you guys, if you want to do something special, then try and take those tips from me, right?

For Autism Awareness Day, you guys could all abandon your loud, noisy programmes and instead show classic programmes, like some of the ones up above - except Bluey and Hey Duggee, because the characters act too wild and crazy. You could air shows like the above mentioned original Teletubbies, Little Bear, Bob The Builder, Pingu, Postman Pat, even Series 1 and 2 of Brum. But no, you have to keep up with the times. The BBC hates retro programming.

And what about you, CBBC, hmm? How far have you come with such an abomination of shows so far?! I mean, doing only one autism-related show in the form of My Life isn't fair, what about your entire lineup? Don't you even care about anyone else other than yourselves and your tummy-tum-tums?! There's loads of lazy people at the controls pigging out on crisps due to all the money the BBC lost, and because of that, you're not focusing on British kids with autism!

To make things better, you could've at least aired some calm classic kids' shows like Byker Grove or Narnia or Grange Hill or even Strange Hill High and Scream Street for that matter, but noooo, you don't care about the needs and preferences of every child with autism. You are disrespectful and rude, which is why CBBC might've yanked you off the air for good and always, so stop telling the autistic children of the UK to shut up and do something else, do something useful, just for once, PLEASE?!

And Channel 4 isn't proving useful either. I mean, they have made a police drama made by a crew of autistic people, which is good. But why? Why haven't they made their channel and all their programmes autism friendly too, just for this day? I mean they could've aired their old kids' shows, for instance: The Hoobs, Cubeez, Angela Anaconda, the Clangers, The Magic Roundabout - but:

*WRONG Panel Buzzer Noise*

They just couldn't. They don't have the money to do it. Neither does CBBC, CBeebies or ITV. All they do is spend their money and time on miserable programmes and imports from America rather than something special for the day.

Now listen here, Ofcom, if you're going to let autism-friendly British kids' TV die down, I suggest we all strike back and do what's right for autistic people and what they watch all across the UK!

WHO'S WITH ME?!

"Me me me!"

"I do, I DO!"

Greasy Actions Have Consequences: A Horrid Book Review

Right, Ashton residents, I recently got up to the third story in Horrid Henry's Food Fight, Revenge Of The Demon Dinner Lady. It is intended as a sequel to 'The Demon Dinner Lady'. I can still hear the glorious first lines of the original Demon Dinner Lady in my head:

"You're not having a packed lunch and that's final!"

"IT'S NOT FAIR! Everyone in my class has a packed lunch!"

"N O spells no. It's too much work and you never eat what I pack for you!"

Anyway, in this story, Mrs Oddbod hires former dinner lady and arch enemy of his horridness, Greasy Greta, to swipe up sweets and sell them to charity. She even has a daughter, named Pasty Patsy, who can eat any sweets she wants under her obese mother's supervision, much to Henry's shock and jealousy.

What makes this story stand out to me is just the same as in Krazy Ketchup. Whereas this story had a picture of Henry recoiling at a poisonous Hydra popping out of a Vegchup bottle, Demon Dinner Lady's Revenge had two: one of Miss Battle Axe as a trapeze artist, the other of Henry's head as a balloon floating away into the sky. Bravo, Tony Ross - I have great sympathy for you there.

My favourite part of the story came at the very end (spoilers, so steer clear on the other side of the road). In order to save everyone from the wrath of the Demon Dinner Lady, Henry sets up a sweet shop near the nature reserve and sells sweets to every single one of his friends at the school - surprisingly, Margaret, Ralph, Bert and Al aren't involved, so it was up to Henry to face the Demon Dinner Lady alone.

And how did he do it? Patsy had no involvement too, so if Henry defeated her and made her explode into bits of bile and gore, this story would have an entirely different ending. But the real ending sees Mrs Oddbod scold Greasy Greta for what she has gone after seeing her stuff her mouth in the Sweet Confiscation Cupboard and fire her. With Henry victorious, Mrs Oddbod appoints him as the lunch monitor, but at a price: to remove all the sweets from each and every one of his gang's lunchboxes.

Then, comes the finest moment in the book. The very last word in Revenge Of The Demon Dinner Lady, which I find the funniest one of all:

"Wah."

Just that one word is bound to leave even the saddest, dullest reader who has had a bad day due to praying last night, or having an alarm set for 6:00AM every morning, in stitches from laughing.

This has to be the funniest story about the consequences of healthy eating, but, there are two things left out which I have to add on: I think while Horrid Henry is selling his sweets, Patsy would confront him and they would engage in a playground brawl while Margaret, Ralph, Al, Bert and the others cheered them on, resulting in his horridness punching Patsy in the guts and causing stomach cancer.

No.2: If Mrs Oddbod had been nicer to Henry, he would finally get his reward of becoming the lunch monitor, and Mrs Oddbod would ban the healthy eating law, stating that all healthy meals should be served with one or two sweets or cakes. But no...

Actions have consequences, right, Henry?

"IT'S NOT FAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIRRRRRRR!!"

To be continued:

Horrid Henry Minds His Manners!

Get Foxy...

I say, what's with this spiffing good tray of cakes and chocolates in front of me? Ah, this must be the most remarkable last day of March ever - my trip to the Alness ASN session at Fox & Friends! Everyone was so proud and cheered me on repeatedly, as if I was a gold medal winner 26 years in a row! Even Mum and Mylo were proud of me. So let's skip all the boring details and head over to the most interesting part: the actual session.

Immediately after I entered the session, I settled in and made friends. I felt like I could blend in - first, I was a chameleon, but now I am a butterfly out of the caterpillar's cocoon. There was said huge tray of mini battenburgs, teacakes and mini rolls - yummy scrummy tummy! The best part was when I made new friends: Kaya and her dog Hurricane, Donna, Sharon and Rachel, who was like a calmer version of one of my support housing friends.

On this spiffing awesome day, everyone was doing gem art - I decided to join in too, and guess what? I was absolutely skilled at it! I even told my new friends one of my amazing stories, but how in the name of Angel Grove would they be used? I'll tell you later.

BLUEY: "Oh come on, tell us now!"

URP! We agreed, Bluey, didn't we? No spoilers. Anyway, I looked all around the rest of Fox & Friends, and it was absolute paradise. There were games, books, cuddly toys and restful leather sofas in every direction you looked, and there was even a darts board, a pool table and even a piano for lessons! I was so looking forward to this.

My foot began to develop pins and needles, so I snuggled down on the sofa near the Meeting Table and pretended to be Bedtime Bear, granting one of his world famous Bedtime Wishes to his new special needs Earth friends. Mmmm-hmmm, I did tell you he and Wish Bear were close friends, right?! Ha ha!

But then, it was time for the moment you blog readers have been waiting for. Brace yourself, it's coming, and it's not an April Fool's prank. The people at Fox & Friends actually asked me to help out!

*Pines Of Rome trumpet fanfares over Animal Stories SFX of babies and animals cheering*

Alright, everyone, calm down, I know you're all excited.

So, the job? They actually let me write stories and design posters for all the special needs peeps that come to the centre. It's an awesomely big, huge, enormous job, and I couldn't be any prouder of an achievement like this - when I told everyone, they were absolutely gobsmacked, even my fellow support workers.

And despite all the sweet treats I scoffed, my support worker for the day offered me a nice chocolate lolly for having a remarkable day - even Mum was absolutely shocked, and her jaw dropped to the floor!

Wish me luck, everyone!

A Berry Fruity Friendship

Hi! Marmalade here! Recently, my good friend Orange Blossom had befriended Pinkie Pie - the G3 kind, I mean. They first bonded over making their favourite smoothie recipes, and have since become best friends. She has even told me that sometimes Pinkie Pie can babysit me, and we've had lots of fun ever since!

Ranger Training

I'm telling you, Furaha absolutely loves playing in Animaria Forest. She and her brother Orko can climb up trees, run through logs, jump into the water and splash each other, and sometimes they challenge each other to obstacle races through the toughest parts of the forest. Us Wild Force rangers can join in too - Furaha always lets one of us win sometimes.

Caring Mr Tracy

I was crying, because my mummy had left me in the care of the Tracy family. I wanted her so bad. Luckily, Jeff Tracy was there for me - he cradled me in his warm, caring arms and whispered soft, reassuring words to me. Grandma bottle-fed me, and Brains, Alan and Tin Tin all gathered to cuddle and caress me one by one. "Coochie coochie coo!" smiled Tin Tin.

Towel Tickles

"Where are yer, poppet?" Parker asked as he tried to find me under his overloaded stock of towels for bathing in the ocean with. Underneath the pink towel, he heard my muffled giggles. He pulled it away, and I squealed with delight. "Aaaaahhh," he cooed, and he grabbed me in his arms and cuddled me playfully. How I laughed!