When I Have A Tickly Throat

When I Have A Picnic Near The Haunted Fleet...

The Lost Poems

The Gossips are from Dream Street

They talk about Carlton shows

Amber likes to spout aggressive mouthpieces,

As far as Scarlett knows!

Cyril’s a butterfly prince,

And Maisy’s a butterfly queen

Cyril’s clumsy at flying,

And Maisy’s the prettiest we’ve seen!

Can you draw and scribble

When you’ve got butterfly wings?

You can hunt for keys and cereal toys

And lots of other things.

One mug is for cocoa,

One mug is for fizzy drink

One mug is for orange juice

And one holds supplies when I think!

-Kipper

Toddlers can’t have cheeseburgers,

But I think they have a sandwich with cheese

Some yogurt, a banana, some bear shaped crisps

And an orange juice cup, if you please

-Lady Penelope (2015)

Tin Tin loves me more than ‘er ladyship

It’s really hard to tell

Who loves me most, but I can boast

That Tin Tin loves me as well

A Poem About Fantasy Sixties

The BBC's Time Shift is interesting,

It tells everything we need to know

But Thunderbirds, Stingray and Fireball XL5

Are all my favourite parts of one show!

Ask Liam: Where Did You Learn Your Acrobatic Tricks?

Question asked by Marv The Monkey of Bananamush Primary School, age 5

It's a long story, Marv. You see, aspiring monkey athletes like me are born with bendy limbs that can allow us to walk immediately after we are born. We can even duck, weave, bob and dive to get anything we fancy, such as a banana cookie.

When I reached the age of 5, I went to BananaCream Athletic School. It's for those who are born with bendy limbs and have loads of talent in their hearts. It's where you learn athletic monkey stuff like, er, going through a hard, tough obstacle course. You learn to swing and climb and run and jump and do all the cool athletic stuff. Oh wait, it isn't tough at all - it's absolutely fun! Yet we still had to write and practice our ABCs and 123s and such and such.

When I reached 13, I graduated because there is a law where I come from stating that monkey teens aren't allowed to attend school due to gross habits - the signs of monkey puberty where I come from may gross you out forever, and still will if you continue to read it:

• Shaggier, tangled fur
• Super stinky underarms
• Sore bottoms which lead to scratching
• Shedding old fur sometimes
• Snot dribbling down our faces

Told ya. Look in the mirror. Go on, look. Look how grossed out you are! Luckily, girl monkeys don't get puberty, so they are calm through their teenage years. I however managed to get through my puberty, and that's why I came to Loved Before, because my family thought puberty lead to wild behaviour.

And now, look at me! A good natured grown up athlete. No mess, no fuss.

Except for the occasional banana porridge mess in the kitchen.

A Protest Poem To Space Age Films, By Destiny Angel

You can't make Merry Christmas Earthlings

Into full on CGI

Make the film with puppets instead,

Or else us Angels will cry!

Your Wish Is My Command With Astera: What is your advice for when the dog disturbs your peaceful lunch with gross habits and biting?

Asked by Tommy Tunpee, 5 year old gnome from the village of RedCaps

Oh, dogs, don't you just love them? But they can also be very gross with fierce, sharp teeth. I call them 'Fierce Beasts Of The Desert'. The family I live with owned a 'Fierce Beast' named Cyril. Given the chance, if he didn't bite or show you something absolutely disgusting during dinner, he would punish the little girl in my family by grabbing me and running around with me in his mouth, squealing and crying. Luckily, I had a magical power in my horn that fends off those putrid beasts - we Unicats have inherited this from our parents from the day we are born.

Now, I taught my little owner that she had to find the power in her own Magic Horn - the power of teleportation to a quieter place. Not to a forest, not to a beach, not to Paris, but to the dinner table, not at the sofa. There, she can eat in peace without the beast's gross and nippy habits disturbing her.

And an extra tip from the Queen Of Unicat Kingdom: when you do want to add a bit of ambience to your table time, put on Earth Moods, some beach sounds, some forest sounds, or some Lofi music. You'll be transported to a sparkling beach in Summer Meadows, a peaceful forest in Unicorn Valley and a secret restaurant just for you and me - or rather, a friend if you fancy - hidden behind the cottage restaurants in Paris. Or maybe even a pub for dragons and trolls.

Your wish is my command!⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

A Poem About Lunch Peace, By Captain Magenta

When the dog disturbs you

When you're trying to have your lunch,

It's important you look after yourself

And find someplace else to munch

A Dizzy Post-Nap Poem, By Humbah & Jumbah

When you wake up from a nap

You feel totally washed out

It's like that Taz devil has entered your brain

And then from your ear he jumped out!

A Poem About K9's Soppy Side

When K9 gets tickled under his chin

He falls down and goes all soppy

He spins all around growling loudly

And attracts the attention of Floppy!

A Poem About The Farm, By Maisy

It wasn't so bad when I spoke gibberish

And imitated noises on the farm

But now that Sky Kids has made me count chicks,

Watch out, Sky - I'm armed!

Question Of The Day: Beanie Baby Applejack

Beanie Baby Applejack doesn't have a poem on her card. If you were to write a poem for her card as one of the employees of the TY company, what would it say and what themes would it include?

Quote Of The Day: Poetry