Johnny Sokko

Orange & Pineapple Fizz

Thunderbirds

It's Sci-Fi Time!

Talking To Myself

Brum's Guide To Online Shopping When Sick Or With A Bug

BRUM:

When you're shopping on the computer and you want to know how the world works, like me, try and find some books on knowledge on eBay - encyclopedias, dictionaries, too many to count!

PIBBY:

When you feel totally sick and can't go out, try and shop for something fun. I like sticker and activity books to keep myself occupied, as well as doodling, colouring and drawing. What's your favourite fun activity?

BUN BUN:

Since I prefer soft and simple things, go to The Works and find something soft to see you through. But if you find all the books here too gross, you can find a Disney Storybook on eBay!

BRUM:

Oi! I was going to say that.

BUN BUN:

Too baaaaaad!

*All three laugh loudly*

A Bug According To Brum

Oi oi, kids! This is the story of how I found out my friend from the big country of the lake-dwelling dinosaur (the Loch Ness Monster according to Mr Devon) caught a nasty bug.

No, it's not those gentle bugs that I often find in the park, like butterflies or worms (even though I find them very slimy) or caterpillars or even ladybirds. It was something that affected her entirely. Without realising, my friend had caught not just a painful mouth ulcer, but a very sore throat. A few days passed without me noticing when she is sick, but suddenly, it happened.

No, she didn't catch something horrible, what I did find out was she was feeling terrible. Her head ached, her throat was as dry as a desert and her tummy kept screaming for more food, even though I don't want people to get fat from eating too much. By too much, I meant cakes and biscuits and crisps and ice cream and sweets. I thought she had drunk too much wine like how someone fed me too much wine during the wedding I thought was a fairy tea party - and I know how crazy weddings could be.

You wear a bow and you are forced to speak in a very squeaky little girl's voice. Then you are forced to attend a boring wedding ceremony where the vicar (mostly, Reverend Brighteyes) talks about boring things uniting the happy couple together like love and friendship and happiness. Then once they kiss (disgusting!), the wedding photos are taken, and you have to stand at the very back while everyone else goes front and centre. And then, the wedding party. It's like attending what grown ups call an 'All Nighter'. Their dancing and stamping black shoes on the wooden floor is too much. The lights may be colourful, but they flash on and off very fast. When the married couple fools around cutting the wedding cake, which I find very delicious, they fool around with it so much everyone starts throwing cake around and you get very sticky and grubby! Yuck! And then, the worst part is, when you're a car and you put on a really high voice to pretend to be a bridesmaid, some wild family member of either the bride or groom pours wine into your petrol tank, and you come out with kiss marks all over you, spouting the most nonsensical gibberish anyone's ever heard in the history of the world ever.

Well, she also felt as tired and dizzy as I was when the bride's brother, aptly named Uncle Hardpart, poured wine into my petrol tank. I thought it was vertigo, and to me it's when you turn purple from that bug that's spreading - but according to dear old Miss Lollipop, it's when someone feels dizzy from being high up.

So, I wanted to trundle along to the support neighbourhood to see what to matter was, but on the way there, I was stopped by a kid I knew from the big school, Stephanie, who told me that something horrible was going around Key, and it's affecting one of the people who is her older sister, and they need a lot of caring for.

I trundled into town to consult the chemist about what my friend is going through. But what could've caused it? Perhaps He Who Made Everything Good was trying hard to spread his butter on his breakfast toast and he threw the carton out of Heaven, spreading his butter all over the neighbourhood and making everything smell of beef and mustard sandwiches - the ones Mr Red has on his lunch break. Or maybe it was an outbreak of chicken pox, just like Mrs Sweetheart the stationary shop owner told me when it was Valentine's Day. Or maybe, just like I thought on that day, aliens have taken over everyone's bodies! OH NO!

But when I reached the chemist and told her what happened, she sighed, shook her head and told me this:

"I think there is a nasty bug going around at Key."

A bug? But bugs don't go around selling pies or cakes or jewelry or even handmade doll's house furniture, their job is to crawl around the grass and get spotted on a nature walk. And a bee's job is to be screamed at by people when they want to have all your food for their lunch break during a nice picnic in the country - well, what I meant to say was, bees work hard as far as I'm told. They work so hard their little legs fall off until they become thorns in roses. Ouch! That must hurt.

But what the chemist told me that it's not a life size bug, it's a bug that's like a harmless cold or flu virus that spreads around one neighbourhood. She told me that you can have that bug and then feel totally fine about it - but you can spread it to someone who is really sick, like my friend's very bossy support worker whose son had to go to hospital because of a terrible patch of dry skin on his arm, or one of her fun support worker's children who had a terrible allergy from eating something horrible and had to go and get surgery, which is terrifying when you think about it. And a dry patch on your skin is just as worse as the itchy, scaly skin you have when you are an alligator - you scratch and scratch and scratch all day long.

She told me that the nights may be sleepless and she may be constantly kept awake by a rumbling tummy, a dry throat, tired eyes and an achy head, but the good thing to do is to quarantine yourself in your own house and never go back to support trips until the bug is sprayed on by good care. Mums and dads, especially my friend's own Mummy, must learn to understand four needs, based on what Noddy taught me when he found out Big Ears was sick and needed his shopping done, the lazy oaf:

• "I'm thirsty!"
• "I'm hungry!"
• "My head hurts."
• "I'm tired."

And I also told one of the kindly old women visiting the chemist, Mrs Marmalade, who always carries her ginger cat Peach with her, about what my friend should do should no one know the answers to any of her questions about what she should do next. She told me this: "To find the answer, you must ask and answer the question to yourself. If you ask someone else, they won't be able to know. The answer can come from you - your mind is foggy when you have a bug, but that's okay. You have to look through it to find the answer."

So, from what I learnt, here's one of my wise little rhymes to help you when you're suffering the same disease as my friend:

"When you're thirsty, drink something cool.

When you're hungry, a filling meal rules.

When your head hurts, take little white pills.

When you feel tired, snuggle under the quilts."

What Brum is trying to say is, you need to drink, eat, take paracetamol and rest when you have a bug.

Thanks, mate! Remember:

Stop the spread and stay at home!

What Can Brum Teach Me?

Unusually for a gentle, low stakes live action series for kids like Brum, he can teach me everything I can to survive this cruel world us autistic people inhabit - whether we like it or not! And I like it. Here are three things I've learnt from the little magic car who comes to life....AND HAS MOTOR OIL IN HIS BRAIN!

First of all, he taught me to find his little kitten 'foster brother' Kipper inside animals I miss. When he and his hotel manager friend Mr Steve found Kipper alone in a skip, Mr Steve explained to Brum that Kipper's mother Katie had died the night before, which upset Brum so much...but Brum got to become a big brother to Kipper and give him a new home. Through his experience of chasing Kipper across the hotel, he learnt this simple mindfulness strategy from Mr Steve and his boss, Mr Bellringer:

Look for any signs of panic, trauma, anxiety or signs of a tantrum inside your body. Check your arms, hands, tummies, legs, feet...and, in typical Ragdoll fashion, bottoms if you have the chance. Then once you've done that, breathe slowly two times, in...and out. And then, you can find a solution to the problem - he also taught me that when I experience a malfunction with technology, all I have to do is follow the wire and see where it leads. That way, I have solved quite a terrible problem that requires a Caillou fit. But now those days are history! Mainly because PBS Kids isn't airing Caillou anymore.

Second, I think the beach episode is the first Brum Stratford episode I recall seeing, along with the episode where Brum helped a group of sewer workers sort out the cause of a flood that swept through the Big Town. The family who Brum met and accompanied along to the beach are people who moved to Birmingham from America. Right now, there's a lot of violence and corruption happening in America right now, and American people are hated by everyone all around the world, even by those here where they made Brum - but the little car sees a brighter side of the situation. He taught me to find the good side of America through his immigrant neighbours, and give every family in America who is fighting through those tough times a chance - even if they are very crazy indeed.

Crazy, but in a good way.

Third and final, I think Brum's lollipop lady mentor Miss Lollipop (who is in the same vein of wisdom and comfort as Badger in Farthing Wood and Big Ears in Noddy) gave me some advice based on the time Brum tried to reunite her with her boyfriend, the African accented Swahili word spouting mechanic Jabari. Being a childish animatronic car, Brum always believes that when every couple dances and hands each other gifts like chocolate on Valentine's Day, he thinks either aliens have invaded or there is a nasty epidemic going around that's affecting every man and woman in love in town ever.

But, Miss Lollipop might tell me that when you are affected by an actual illness bug before Valentine's Day and can't go out to run and jump and play and have fun, all you have to do is find the comfort and warmth in the sickness and survival. I can hear her voice - that of who I believe may voice her, Dawn French (of Kipper audio stories, Merlin The Magical Puppy and - dare I say it - Beddybyes) - tell me this advice as I speak.

Which reminds me: from now on, I'm going to make a Sickness Plan, as drawn and written by Miss Lollipop to remind Brum and everyone in town what to do if a nasty bug like mine goes around.

Good luck, dearie!

"Wish me luck, everyone!"

-Brum

10 Things I Learnt From Asking & Answering While Sick

About a few nights ago, last Thursday morning AD, I found out that every single question I ask everyone doesn't mean they provide answers, so who's the person that can provide answers? Me. Here are ten things I learnt from asking and answering:

1.If Fluttershy were sick, she'd stay in bed, drink camomile tea and read a book.

2.If Mackenzie were sick, he'd enjoy chocolate and lemon ice cream and take green tablets (or, paracetamol).

3.The only way to approach a dog when he's about to steal stuff is move the stuff to another place so he can't bite into it.

4.The way you can calm down when you feel sick is drink camomile tea and then take paracetamol.

5.Good film replacements for Zootopia 2 include The Many Adventures Of Winnie The Pooh, Peter Pan, Alice In Wonderland, The Lion King and Tarzan.

6.Good TV series replacements for Zootopia 2 include: Brum, Teletubbies (original), Fireman Sam (stop motion), Kipper The Dog and Noddy's Toyland Adventures.

7.I've thought up lots of ideas for how to be creative when I've lost my creativity.

8.I've thought up ways to do happiness lists, like for instance a My Little Pony-inspired 7 grid list technique with each grid themed around each of the Mane 6.

9.I've learnt to see daydreams by feeling their warmth and then journalling about them.

10.And, obviously, I've realised my stories are daydreams.

That's the deal. Nuff said.

Two Videos For A Sick Day....

Down With A Bug? Have A Little Brum In Your Life

BRUM SAYS:

"And remember, kids, when you see these episodes when you're sick, think about aliens, the North Pole with polar bears and penguins and Father Christmas, staying up late, pocket money, baby dragon eggs, buses being relatives of cars like me, the book War & Peace, sandwiches, chocolate cake, crisps and fizzy drinks, shopping for sardines and milk and much more!"

A Video Which Describe What I Did With My Support Worker...

Don't worry, I didn't really burn the cakes and the kitchen in real life, in the story and the episode it was really Max's fault. It could be a good Max & Ruby episode to teach kids about staying safe around a burning oven and calling the emergency number 999 if ever an emergency like the one in the Max & Ruby adventure were to ever happen which, luckily, it won't.

Meet Ulcer Mouse & Shrilly

This is Ulcer Mouse, and this is Shrilly. They're a bit like Angelmouse and Quilly, but they're the cause of the burns inside my mouth from drinking camomile tea hot. It's a bit like IMP meets Osmosis Jones, right? Except there's an evil version of Angelmouse and Quilly living in my mouth, and inside, Ozzy and Drix are trying to patch the burn up before I even get the worst cold in the history of the world ever.