Orko is strong, like King Kong!
He Man is weak, throw him in the creek!
Hi there, I'm Orko! I don't suspect you have seen me on this blog for a very long time, not since last night. Well, every afternoon is tech time for me and Furaha, and tonight might be a good time for me to tell you about how our friend [SWORD SHWING TO AVOID MY REAL NAME] found me and took both me and my new friends, Atlanta and Marina, home!
So first off, she and her support worker stopped off at Tesco to get a special picnic feast to get 8,000 views for her photos of the Highland Charity Shop on Google Maps. Yeah, you heard me, 8,000 views! It was a landmark achievement. When Furaha and I heard that, Furaha cheered as our carer Optimus swung her around over his head, while I magicked up confetti which fell out of nowhere and I blew a noisemaker like it's a trumpet. Anyway, they bought sausage rolls and chicken poppers and Coke and Babybel and a Galaxy Choc Bar.
And guess what else?
A Bluey Fleece Blanket! I bet she's gonna use it in bed tonight, and rub her cheek against it to remember this day. I rub my non-exposable cheeks against Furaha's fur to get me to sleep when I have nightmares of He Man. Talking of which...
When my friend arrived at T T Retro, there were more exciting things! British made TV shows, Walking With Dinosaurs on DVD, Doctor Who and Transformers comics, and guess what else? 2002 Masters Of The Universe comics! You heard me, 2002 Masters Of The Universe comics! This is not a drill, it's for real! And the comic she chose was Power Of Fear, something Mattel did for the 2005 Dream Halloween event for children with AIDS. She was so lucky to have bought both of them, and her Mum agreed she could buy a DVD AND a comic! Believe it or not, this kid's walkin' on air!
Then it's off to the newsagents, and the bad news is: there were kids in there. So they ordered a kids' puzzle magazine, and hot-footed it outta there. They were originally supposed to go to the sweet shop, but there was nowhere - I mean, nowhere at all - to park on a Friday. So they went to Home Bargains, and that was when my friend read about me trying to save He Man, who along with his friends threw racist remarks at me like insult-filled water balloon dodgeballs.
The funny part about this is Stinkor being chased by items that may suggest he needs a bath because of how stinky his bottom is. Bleaurgh! But not only was I her highlight of the comic, the main highlight was the hopeful last few pages, with He Man giving us a Children Living With AIDs message and those auction adverts, plus, an exciting advert for the then-new He Man website. I wish I could go on there...
...AND HIJACK THEM!
SSSSHHHH!
Oh, Furaha. It's you.
FURAHA: *whispers loudly* Of course it's me. And I have something else to tell. My friend slept for two whole hours, until 2:36. And now she's online, typing all this up in our voices.
ORKO: So....you think we're still friends?
FURAHA: Of course we're still friends.
(Both of them hug softly, sighing gently)
Howard the Duck #21 by Steve Gerber
