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Sunday, 12 April 2026

If The Britain Get Talking Ad Break Had Background Music

Uncle Grizzly's Favourite Song

The Day I Went Vegan & A Load Of Other Stuff

A host of remarkable things happened to me today. Which things, you ask? Let me explain...

First off, since red meat is told to give you colon cancer, I decided to switch to vegan meat and chicken instead. Sure, Quorn's cocktail sausages taste of pig manure, but of course, Wall's Vegan Sausage Rolls and ASDA's new Chicken Sausages tasted better than before. Sure, they may taste like they've been made with vegetables from a compost heap, but still, they tasted wonderful as a piece of pink chocolate cake. And still will be!

Announcement number 2: I was extremely busy. How busy, you ask? Well, I tidied and sorted everything until Mum had quite enough, stating the house looked like something out of TLC's Hoarders - even using the horrendously annoying subtitles. I sorted out which things to keep, donate and throw away, and I made piles in my den: some to throw away, and some to donate to charity.

Announcement number 3: I just made the most genius purchase in my life: ordering a pair of shower goggles. It is pink, and it has eyelashes on it, so much so that I named it Belinda. Mum thought I was an absolutely genius shopper, getting something that can help me when I'm in the shower.

Oh my god, you all should be proud of me! I'm a genius little shoppy-wopper. Right?

Thursday, 9 April 2026

Social Media Sucks, Okay?

You know that pink haired lass you see jumping high into the air with her friends and especially adorable little Taromaru? It's a bit of a trick question because you may have seen her before on my blog. Her name is Yuki - a delusional schoolgirl who has fantasies of a regular school life during a zombie outbreak.

Come to think of her and her friends attempting to survive during a zombie invasion, my dilusional behaviour comes from one word you shouldn't repeat in from of your own parents at home. What's the word?

Unrealism.

The 'U word' is a horrid word in our house, besides 'Why', 'Perfectionism' and 'Publishing'. It's also one of Pibby's 'No No Words', so we refuse to use it in our house. Why? Because all while I was addicted to tech, I was seeing too many social media posts of all these people living the high life - fancy clothes, fancy cupboards, fancy beds and all the marshmallows in the all the cereal and hot cocoa you could ever want.

But just saying the U word makes me shiver and quiver and shake and quake. Why? Because reading everything I see online, in books, on TV, in film, everywhere, has caused my insides and ideas to melt like they were ice sculptures in a sauna. All these high life, successful people - enough to make me use that word to make everyone angry.

And you're going to hate me for saying this, so listen carefully:
Dreams don't come for free, guys. You have to stick to those that don't make you feel like a slave. Ambitions come from nothing. Just a black abyss of slavery, death and destruction.

*clears throat*
Oh my god, what am I saying? Anyway, don't use your dreams for ambitional, working purposes. The true key to happiness comes from the behaviour of two classic BBC preschool characters: Brum and Binka. Their delusional behaviours don't come from success at all, but rather a childish imagination.

First of all, let's talk about Brum. Most people know the third series by now, which contains so much slapstick humor and fast paced chase scenes. But the second and first series made me imagine how Brum would view the town as he ventures along looking for a new friend - if he is voiced by Joe Pasquale, I believe he'd mistake everything for something else: princesses, fairies, dragons, pirates, everything in particular, as long as he is kind to everyone and gives grounded advice, the same way everybody in town does. Even the children of the town give him grounded advice.

Then there's Binka. Unlike Brum, whose childish self is depicted as an animatronic robot remote control car which rocks about and moves its headlights from time to time, Binka is a traditional hand drawn cat who only meows and exhibits cat-like behaviour. So, I think of Binka as sort of like The Secret Life Of Pets on age regression - Binka is an analogue of a three year old who discovers the world the same way a toddler does, but his delusional behaviour doesn't rely on success. It relies on curiosity and goofy behaviour, even Tango and Suki are delusional most of the time, because Tango is colour blind so he gets his colours wrong. He thinks the kitchen taps have colds, and that there's a cat from the future in the mirror.

So, judging from what we have learnt from School Live, Brum and Binka, do remember that delusional is a good word to replace the U word. Why? Because the U word means anxiety, stress and deadlines, and you're not working in an office at all are yeh? ARE YEH?!

So the D word is way better, because using that word means your imagination is closer to home, and you can get a better understanding of your world better.

Way to go - oops, er, I mean, good lesson, young Brum me lad.

Monday, 6 April 2026

Daydream Journal - The Water Sprites

Despite being normal human beings, my baby self, my mummy Lady Penelope and all our friends from Tracy Island were water beings, living unclothed in the natural Tracy Forest and protecting a sacred pool, which we swim in every day.

Daydream Journal - The First Elegant Woman On Earth

Lady Penelope ('15) was the first elegant woman and proper human being on Earth. I was her three year old daughter, and her mission for the primitive time was to teach me all she could about the harmonious natural world she lived in.

This Show In Four Words

Cocomelon:
Low stimulating edition.