If The Britain Get Talking Ad Break Had Background Music

Uncle Grizzly's Favourite Song

The Day I Went Vegan & A Load Of Other Stuff

A host of remarkable things happened to me today. Which things, you ask? Let me explain...

First off, since red meat is told to give you colon cancer, I decided to switch to vegan meat and chicken instead. Sure, Quorn's cocktail sausages taste of pig manure, but of course, Wall's Vegan Sausage Rolls and ASDA's new Chicken Sausages tasted better than before. Sure, they may taste like they've been made with vegetables from a compost heap, but still, they tasted wonderful as a piece of pink chocolate cake. And still will be!

Announcement number 2: I was extremely busy. How busy, you ask? Well, I tidied and sorted everything until Mum had quite enough, stating the house looked like something out of TLC's Hoarders - even using the horrendously annoying subtitles. I sorted out which things to keep, donate and throw away, and I made piles in my den: some to throw away, and some to donate to charity.

Announcement number 3: I just made the most genius purchase in my life: ordering a pair of shower goggles. It is pink, and it has eyelashes on it, so much so that I named it Belinda. Mum thought I was an absolutely genius shopper, getting something that can help me when I'm in the shower.

Oh my god, you all should be proud of me! I'm a genius little shoppy-wopper. Right?

Sci Fi DVD Search

2 Little Interludes

Social Media Sucks, Okay?

You know that pink haired lass you see jumping high into the air with her friends and especially adorable little Taromaru? It's a bit of a trick question because you may have seen her before on my blog. Her name is Yuki - a delusional schoolgirl who has fantasies of a regular school life during a zombie outbreak.

Come to think of her and her friends attempting to survive during a zombie invasion, my dilusional behaviour comes from one word you shouldn't repeat in from of your own parents at home. What's the word?

Unrealism.

The 'U word' is a horrid word in our house, besides 'Why', 'Perfectionism' and 'Publishing'. It's also one of Pibby's 'No No Words', so we refuse to use it in our house. Why? Because all while I was addicted to tech, I was seeing too many social media posts of all these people living the high life - fancy clothes, fancy cupboards, fancy beds and all the marshmallows in the all the cereal and hot cocoa you could ever want.

But just saying the U word makes me shiver and quiver and shake and quake. Why? Because reading everything I see online, in books, on TV, in film, everywhere, has caused my insides and ideas to melt like they were ice sculptures in a sauna. All these high life, successful people - enough to make me use that word to make everyone angry.

And you're going to hate me for saying this, so listen carefully:

Dreams don't come for free, guys. You have to stick to those that don't make you feel like a slave. Ambitions come from nothing. Just a black abyss of slavery, death and destruction.

*clears throat*

Oh my god, what am I saying? Anyway, don't use your dreams for ambitional, working purposes. The true key to happiness comes from the behaviour of two classic BBC preschool characters: Brum and Binka. Their delusional behaviours don't come from success at all, but rather a childish imagination.

First of all, let's talk about Brum. Most people know the third series by now, which contains so much slapstick humor and fast paced chase scenes. But the second and first series made me imagine how Brum would view the town as he ventures along looking for a new friend - if he is voiced by Joe Pasquale, I believe he'd mistake everything for something else: princesses, fairies, dragons, pirates, everything in particular, as long as he is kind to everyone and gives grounded advice, the same way everybody in town does. Even the children of the town give him grounded advice.

Then there's Binka. Unlike Brum, whose childish self is depicted as an animatronic robot remote control car which rocks about and moves its headlights from time to time, Binka is a traditional hand drawn cat who only meows and exhibits cat-like behaviour. So, I think of Binka as sort of like The Secret Life Of Pets on age regression - Binka is an analogue of a three year old who discovers the world the same way a toddler does, but his delusional behaviour doesn't rely on success. It relies on curiosity and goofy behaviour, even Tango and Suki are delusional most of the time, because Tango is colour blind so he gets his colours wrong. He thinks the kitchen taps have colds, and that there's a cat from the future in the mirror.

So, judging from what we have learnt from School Live, Brum and Binka, do remember that delusional is a good word to replace the U word. Why? Because the U word means anxiety, stress and deadlines, and you're not working in an office at all are yeh? ARE YEH?!

So the D word is way better, because using that word means your imagination is closer to home, and you can get a better understanding of your world better.

Way to go - oops, er, I mean, good lesson, young Brum me lad.

Daydream Journal - The Water Sprites

Despite being normal human beings, my baby self, my mummy Lady Penelope and all our friends from Tracy Island were water beings, living unclothed in the natural Tracy Forest and protecting a sacred pool, which we swim in every day.

Daydream Journal - The First Elegant Woman On Earth

Lady Penelope ('15) was the first elegant woman and proper human being on Earth. I was her three year old daughter, and her mission for the primitive time was to teach me all she could about the harmonious natural world she lived in.

This Show In Four Words

Cocomelon:

Low stimulating edition.

When I See An Exercise Routine Repeated In Boohbah

"Well, we could've asked Mrs Wood to let us wave our arms wildly in the air about five times, but no stuff, I think they didn't listen. Not at all. They asked us to hop on one leg or they'll forbid me from doing yoga for a whole week. But that's not fair! Why can't they let us choose what WE do during the show? I wish they did, but...

We're not real."

- Jumbah, during an interview on Daybreak, 2008

And Now, A Lesson On Non-Food Gluttony...

It's Thunder Time!

Yesterday was the most momentous day in the history of my life ever - I went back to T T Retro! Wahey! It was just the same as I thought it was when I first entered, and I met this nice young girl named Heather, who was searching for a comic for her own too.

I was searching for a comic too, and guess what I picked?

Guess.

Exactly, you've got it:

THUNDERCATS!

This was a comic by WildStorm, and boy did it inspire me, from the moment we left the shop all the way to when I got home. I was completely intrigued by all the characters, especially Hashi-San, a ninja character who tried to battle Mumm-Ra in order to free Lion-O and Cheetara. My favourite character was Snarf, and even though he made only one appearance in only three panels, I believe he is still useful, no matter how annoying people view him.

It had inspired a slew of new story ideas and new ideas for world building, including:

• Snarf & Deviot being friends
• 52 Lost Galaxy Road
• The 2011 version of Snarf being the pet of a new Bluey OC based on my new friend, a 14 year old grey furred dog who is friends with the little red booger
• Wileykit and Wileykat (the '80s versions) living with the Lost Galaxy rangers at 12 Galactic Avenue
• Heatheria - an enchanted, flowering place in Third Earth
• Hanai - A Third Earth version of Hawaii, the most peaceful and relaxing place on the place, where I thought Cheetara was going on holiday due to all the other members of her crew going all 'Shut Up Meg' on her.
• The Dragon & The Wolf - A stream of conciousness, mindful story of Deviot and Snarf going on a walk across the ancient natural landscape of China after being handed amulets by the Queen Of Xao Ping that represent the creatures they were in their past lives.
• The Ocean Woman - A relaxing, mindful stream of conciousness story about 'Sea Humans' - humans who can live, breathe and see underwater, as Tin Tin, the most elegant Sea Human in the ocean, embarks on a gentle, kind journey to find some new friends to call her own.

And, this magical comic also inspired me to watch some new series, including: Push Nevada, Birds Of Prey and Firefly. I watched Firefly this morning, and what did I think of it? I'll put it in Simple English because you know how autistic people adjust to difficult words:

It was boring and hard to follow.

Be seeing you soon, my little Snarfy-Warfy.

Move Along, Nothing Special

It is an absolute OUTRAGE! CBBC, CBeebies and Channel 4 are at least trying to play their part in Autism Awareness Day, but with the rise of the streaming era, why? Why can't they even do something special for Autism Awareness Day?

First, let's start with CBeebies. They premiered Pablo only a few years ago, back in 2017, so there's nothing wrong with that. And CBBC has done - you guessed it - nothing special, focusing only on loud, overstimulating imports rather than a special kind of lineup. Listen here, you guys, if you want to do something special, then try and take those tips from me, right?

For Autism Awareness Day, you guys could all abandon your loud, noisy programmes and instead show classic programmes, like some of the ones up above - except Bluey and Hey Duggee, because the characters act too wild and crazy. You could air shows like the above mentioned original Teletubbies, Little Bear, Bob The Builder, Pingu, Postman Pat, even Series 1 and 2 of Brum. But no, you have to keep up with the times. The BBC hates retro programming.

And what about you, CBBC, hmm? How far have you come with such an abomination of shows so far?! I mean, doing only one autism-related show in the form of My Life isn't fair, what about your entire lineup? Don't you even care about anyone else other than yourselves and your tummy-tum-tums?! There's loads of lazy people at the controls pigging out on crisps due to all the money the BBC lost, and because of that, you're not focusing on British kids with autism!

To make things better, you could've at least aired some calm classic kids' shows like Byker Grove or Narnia or Grange Hill or even Strange Hill High and Scream Street for that matter, but noooo, you don't care about the needs and preferences of every child with autism. You are disrespectful and rude, which is why CBBC might've yanked you off the air for good and always, so stop telling the autistic children of the UK to shut up and do something else, do something useful, just for once, PLEASE?!

And Channel 4 isn't proving useful either. I mean, they have made a police drama made by a crew of autistic people, which is good. But why? Why haven't they made their channel and all their programmes autism friendly too, just for this day? I mean they could've aired their old kids' shows, for instance: The Hoobs, Cubeez, Angela Anaconda, the Clangers, The Magic Roundabout - but:

*WRONG Panel Buzzer Noise*

They just couldn't. They don't have the money to do it. Neither does CBBC, CBeebies or ITV. All they do is spend their money and time on miserable programmes and imports from America rather than something special for the day.

Now listen here, Ofcom, if you're going to let autism-friendly British kids' TV die down, I suggest we all strike back and do what's right for autistic people and what they watch all across the UK!

WHO'S WITH ME?!

"Me me me!"

"I do, I DO!"