Greasy Actions Have Consequences: A Horrid Book Review

Right, Ashton residents, I recently got up to the third story in Horrid Henry's Food Fight, Revenge Of The Demon Dinner Lady. It is intended as a sequel to 'The Demon Dinner Lady'. I can still hear the glorious first lines of the original Demon Dinner Lady in my head:

"You're not having a packed lunch and that's final!"

"IT'S NOT FAIR! Everyone in my class has a packed lunch!"

"N O spells no. It's too much work and you never eat what I pack for you!"

Anyway, in this story, Mrs Oddbod hires former dinner lady and arch enemy of his horridness, Greasy Greta, to swipe up sweets and sell them to charity. She even has a daughter, named Pasty Patsy, who can eat any sweets she wants under her obese mother's supervision, much to Henry's shock and jealousy.

What makes this story stand out to me is just the same as in Krazy Ketchup. Whereas this story had a picture of Henry recoiling at a poisonous Hydra popping out of a Vegchup bottle, Demon Dinner Lady's Revenge had two: one of Miss Battle Axe as a trapeze artist, the other of Henry's head as a balloon floating away into the sky. Bravo, Tony Ross - I have great sympathy for you there.

My favourite part of the story came at the very end (spoilers, so steer clear on the other side of the road). In order to save everyone from the wrath of the Demon Dinner Lady, Henry sets up a sweet shop near the nature reserve and sells sweets to every single one of his friends at the school - surprisingly, Margaret, Ralph, Bert and Al aren't involved, so it was up to Henry to face the Demon Dinner Lady alone.

And how did he do it? Patsy had no involvement too, so if Henry defeated her and made her explode into bits of bile and gore, this story would have an entirely different ending. But the real ending sees Mrs Oddbod scold Greasy Greta for what she has gone after seeing her stuff her mouth in the Sweet Confiscation Cupboard and fire her. With Henry victorious, Mrs Oddbod appoints him as the lunch monitor, but at a price: to remove all the sweets from each and every one of his gang's lunchboxes.

Then, comes the finest moment in the book. The very last word in Revenge Of The Demon Dinner Lady, which I find the funniest one of all:

"Wah."

Just that one word is bound to leave even the saddest, dullest reader who has had a bad day due to praying last night, or having an alarm set for 6:00AM every morning, in stitches from laughing.

This has to be the funniest story about the consequences of healthy eating, but, there are two things left out which I have to add on: I think while Horrid Henry is selling his sweets, Patsy would confront him and they would engage in a playground brawl while Margaret, Ralph, Al, Bert and the others cheered them on, resulting in his horridness punching Patsy in the guts and causing stomach cancer.

No.2: If Mrs Oddbod had been nicer to Henry, he would finally get his reward of becoming the lunch monitor, and Mrs Oddbod would ban the healthy eating law, stating that all healthy meals should be served with one or two sweets or cakes. But no...

Actions have consequences, right, Henry?

"IT'S NOT FAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIRRRRRRR!!"

To be continued:

Horrid Henry Minds His Manners!

Get Foxy...

I say, what's with this spiffing good tray of cakes and chocolates in front of me? Ah, this must be the most remarkable last day of March ever - my trip to the Alness ASN session at Fox & Friends! Everyone was so proud and cheered me on repeatedly, as if I was a gold medal winner 26 years in a row! Even Mum and Mylo were proud of me. So let's skip all the boring details and head over to the most interesting part: the actual session.

Immediately after I entered the session, I settled in and made friends. I felt like I could blend in - first, I was a chameleon, but now I am a butterfly out of the caterpillar's cocoon. There was said huge tray of mini battenburgs, teacakes and mini rolls - yummy scrummy tummy! The best part was when I made new friends: Kaya and her dog Hurricane, Donna, Sharon and Rachel, who was like a calmer version of one of my support housing friends.

On this spiffing awesome day, everyone was doing gem art - I decided to join in too, and guess what? I was absolutely skilled at it! I even told my new friends one of my amazing stories, but how in the name of Angel Grove would they be used? I'll tell you later.

BLUEY: "Oh come on, tell us now!"

URP! We agreed, Bluey, didn't we? No spoilers. Anyway, I looked all around the rest of Fox & Friends, and it was absolute paradise. There were games, books, cuddly toys and restful leather sofas in every direction you looked, and there was even a darts board, a pool table and even a piano for lessons! I was so looking forward to this.

My foot began to develop pins and needles, so I snuggled down on the sofa near the Meeting Table and pretended to be Bedtime Bear, granting one of his world famous Bedtime Wishes to his new special needs Earth friends. Mmmm-hmmm, I did tell you he and Wish Bear were close friends, right?! Ha ha!

But then, it was time for the moment you blog readers have been waiting for. Brace yourself, it's coming, and it's not an April Fool's prank. The people at Fox & Friends actually asked me to help out!

*Pines Of Rome trumpet fanfares over Animal Stories SFX of babies and animals cheering*

Alright, everyone, calm down, I know you're all excited.

So, the job? They actually let me write stories and design posters for all the special needs peeps that come to the centre. It's an awesomely big, huge, enormous job, and I couldn't be any prouder of an achievement like this - when I told everyone, they were absolutely gobsmacked, even my fellow support workers.

And despite all the sweet treats I scoffed, my support worker for the day offered me a nice chocolate lolly for having a remarkable day - even Mum was absolutely shocked, and her jaw dropped to the floor!

Wish me luck, everyone!

A Berry Fruity Friendship

Hi! Marmalade here! Recently, my good friend Orange Blossom had befriended Pinkie Pie - the G3 kind, I mean. They first bonded over making their favourite smoothie recipes, and have since become best friends. She has even told me that sometimes Pinkie Pie can babysit me, and we've had lots of fun ever since!

Ranger Training

I'm telling you, Furaha absolutely loves playing in Animaria Forest. She and her brother Orko can climb up trees, run through logs, jump into the water and splash each other, and sometimes they challenge each other to obstacle races through the toughest parts of the forest. Us Wild Force rangers can join in too - Furaha always lets one of us win sometimes.

Caring Mr Tracy

I was crying, because my mummy had left me in the care of the Tracy family. I wanted her so bad. Luckily, Jeff Tracy was there for me - he cradled me in his warm, caring arms and whispered soft, reassuring words to me. Grandma bottle-fed me, and Brains, Alan and Tin Tin all gathered to cuddle and caress me one by one. "Coochie coochie coo!" smiled Tin Tin.

Towel Tickles

"Where are yer, poppet?" Parker asked as he tried to find me under his overloaded stock of towels for bathing in the ocean with. Underneath the pink towel, he heard my muffled giggles. He pulled it away, and I squealed with delight. "Aaaaahhh," he cooed, and he grabbed me in his arms and cuddled me playfully. How I laughed!

Horrid Henry: A Krazy Revue

The first story in Horrid Henry's Food Fight was ABSOLUTELY BANANAS! You know, I can impersonate the voices of Henry, Peter, Mum, Dad and even Ralph perfectly in this story, because I have heard enough of their voices to know how well the stories go - especially Henry's loud, screaming voice, provided by Clifford's Puppy Days voice actress Lizzie Waterworth, who even voiced the little red main character himself for the UK dub.

However, I made Mum's voice sound a little calmer like in the pitch pilot, because of how aggressive she sounded towards Henry in some episodes of the TV series, especially that flinch-worthy wedding episode, where she sounds like she's about to slap her horrid son around the face. I think those Youtube theories about Henry's mum are true - she's the horrid one, not Henry.

Anyway, the story starts on an aggressively furious note, as Henry and his best friend Rude Ralph charge down to dinner to find cauliflower cheese with a tiny amount of Krazy Ketchup, which revolts Ralph so much he doesn't want to eat at Henry's again. Mmmmmm...maybe if Henry's horrid parents understood him more, they could make him fish fingers and chips and add globules of Krazy Ketchup, but noooo, it's just the way Mrs Simon wrote it! *sticks tongue out*

However, Henry is given a chance by his parents to squirt his own ketchup, and immediately the story skips ahead in time to the next evening, where Henry is shocked to find some Vegchup Tomato Ketchup on the table, leading to a well drawn, very creative illustration of Henry recoiling and jumping back in terror at the sight of a poisonous Hydra bursting out of a can of Vegchup. Well done, Mr Tony Ross, you truly mastered creativity in a way no other illustrator can. In fact, I've officially made it my favourite picture in the book. Thank me later.

Anyway, when Henry realises how revolting it tastes, he and the rest of his family fight over the ketchup, causing a terribly smelly and gloppy mess all over. Even Mum and Dad find it revolting, and the story finishes on a positive note as Henry gets away with everything again and has Krazy Ketchup with his dinner at last.

Oh, and dare I mention? Tony Ross drew some ketchup splats all over the page to make it look like this actually happened in the background while Mrs Simon was writing the story. Personally, I like to think that Henry had 'helped' Mrs Simon decorate the page when he wanted to help write it too, as Mrs Simon trusted him more than his mean, horrible parents.

Overall, what a delightfully chaotic start to a fantastically horrid story anthology. Can't wait to read more!

To be continued...

Horrid Henry Dines At Restaurant Le Posh!

Bearing My Medicine

It is said, that Pom Bears can heal your mouth from ulcers and sores. But sometimes the NHS says you need to do something different to cure them. Click the link below to find out more:

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/mouth-ulcers/

Question Prompts: World Building

What is your own way of building your fantasy worlds - creatively and visually?

Question Prompt: Sing It, Lothor!

What is Power Rangers Ninja Storm villain Lothor's favourite song?

Question Prompt: Childhood Birthday Cake

What was your favourite childhood birthday cake?

Question Prompt: Exhaustion & Lack Of Ideas

When you're exhausted and lacking any new ideas, what are your tips for getting through a whole evening until bedtime?

Question Prompt: Oi Oi, Kids!

What is your favourite episode of the first two, slightly underrated (to me) seasons of Brum?