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Showing posts with label Homeschooling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Homeschooling. Show all posts

Thursday, 22 January 2026

Queen's Rule #1: Teachers & Brownies

All schools around the world will be shut down permanently, including Dornoch Academy, and from this day all children will be homeschooled! All teachers are sent to work making outback brownies in UK-set-up Australian cafes all across the country, and any teacher who dares cause everyone to engage in annoying, irritating banter will be dunked into a pool of cheesy custard! Ha! Serves you right!

Saturday, 16 August 2025

A Little Tracy Island Comfort

Dear journal,

I am glad to get a well earned rest on Tracy Island in the first week of the Summer holidays after a few hard weeks of homeschooling and fun activities under the guidance of Lady Penelope and Parker. They have delivered my lessons with such confidence, and Lady Penelope has such limitless knowledge of the world around her.


However, now is a time to rest…and relax.


On the first day of the holidays, I visited Tracy Island while Lady Penelope was at a press conference. Alan, Brains, Tin Tin and I spent the whole day playing games, eating snacks and reading stories together, but after lunch, we were pooped out and I decided to rest on the sofa.


I was relaxing on the sofa, surrounded by books, snack wrappers and board games. The warm sun was shining down through the window onto me like a spotlight displaying a lazy sloth in a museum, and there was nothing quite like that feeling of slothing out after a whole day of playing.


However, after a while, I fell off the sofa and landed lazily onto a pile of pillows onto the floor. That was when Tin Tin came in. It was such a hot day and she was wearing only a pair of black leggings and a white, cool vest. Tin Tin giggled in a low, calm manner as she stroked my curls and whispered soft, gentle things to me, which I sighed to in response and pleasure.


Then Alan came in. He was wearing no T shirt or top, just a pair of clean denim jeans. He looked like a model out of an underwear advert when he walked in, and when he sat down on the sofa the sun shone on him, making sweat roll down his soft chest.


Then Brains entered. Today was a gentle, lazy day and Brains lay down on the sofa, sighing softly. He was getting himself adjusted to this environment, and relaxing in the warm sunshine was just the sort of thing he would need. He had Vitamin D pills, that’s the bright side, but sunshine was what he needed to make him less shy.


Jeff Tracy came in and turned on the living room fan to keep us all cool, and before long, we all sighed in unison, then fell asleep peacefully, knowing the hot sticky weather will be tamed with such cool love and someday when it reaches Autumn, I would have more fun than ever.

Thursday, 22 May 2025

A Day With Parker

When Lady Penelope falls ill with a cold, I spend the day with Parker instead. While he does homeschooling duties in a rather weird way compared to how 'er ladyship does it, we still have fun sharing cookies, tickling each other and sharing in a beautiful grandfather-granddaughter like relationship.

Tuesday, 29 April 2025

Outside Break

It is one of my homeschooling days with Lady Penelope.

After a morning of maths and English, she lets me run into the garden and play outside.

It is an extremely hot day.

Lady Penelope sets up the sprinkler, with Parker's help of course.

The sprinkler bursts into a shower of water.

I begin running about in my swimming costume, squealing in joy.

"Come on, mummy! Come and join me!"

Lady Penelope goes to get changed.

Then, Mitch and Jimmy Gibson arrive.

They want to run about the sprinkler too.

Jimmy is already wearing his swimming trunks.

We run about, laughing and squealing.

Then Lady Penelope emerges.

She looks totally hot in her swimming costume.

Mitch even wolf-whistles! "Whee-wew!"

But then, the sprinkler stops.

We are very disappointed.

Until Lady Penelope has a better idea...

The garden hose!

She chases us around the garden as the hose gushes water all over us.

It's the best Summer day ever.

Wednesday, 23 April 2025

Ol' Caboo Boat

My mummy Penelope and I live in a houseboat

We live on the sea, much better than a moat

She homeschools me every weekday

As we bob up and down in the wide open bay


There's lots of bread and honey to go around

The taste alone is simply profound

We swim in the sea and dive off deck

We splash around like there's been heck


We lie on the deck and gaze into the sky

At the sun shining bright and high

We count every seagull that flies high above

And sometimes we find a pigeon or dove


Every night, it's hot cocoa I sip

While a hankie is handed when my nose drips

Mummy carries me in her arms to bed

While dreams of the sea fill my innocent head

Monday, 21 April 2025

Homeschooling & Bath Kittens

Today I talked with my mother Lady Penelope about the meditative sight of a cat giving herself a bath, mainly my support worker's cats - Putzell, Princess and Angel. Lady Penelope told me the whole world goes a lot more softer when we're together, and that due to my horrible years in my three schools - Collingwood, Willie De and D. Academy - she's going to homeschool me. Teach me everything I need to know. When I said the second-to-last line, she reassured me that she'll always keep me warm and safe, just like I'm her daughter - in fact, I am her daughter.