Party Cake

I.B.F.Fs: Scream Clean - Scream Clean

These two young boys and this bandaged up girl wait patiently on the stairs for their friend to come home from school. School is a very stressing time for this young girl, but nothing beats coming home to these three. Once I came home, I reunited with Luke, Resus and Cleo in the only way I know possible. With a huge hug! Here they are in my arms, ready to be introduced to you: Luke, Resus and Cleo. This book features 6 stories. This is what Scream Street should’ve been written as if I wrote it instead of Tommy Donbavand, and they’re ready to read for you right now.

I live on Scream Street with Luke, Resus and Cleo in a little house right next to Cleo’s. Our cousin Six and her creator Dr F live on another part of the street far off, and sometimes they come and visit us. What makes it so great about living next to Cleo is that Luke and Resus are just nearby, and you can easily come along the road to meet them in a jiff. This street is so quiet on weekends, you could just hear a pin drop. In fact, you could almost hear the sounds of crows squawking in the distance, because a graveyard is just nearby. You see, G.H.O.U.L (that’s Government Housing Of Unusual Lifeforms, in case you were wondering) sent me and my mum here after Mum reported to them about how school in the normal world was making me concentrate less on my mindfulness. I like to wander around the street to clear my mind, and sometimes, Luke, Resus and Cleo like to wander round with me too. Just us four, nobody else.

This evening…

“Mum, why must I always clean my room?” I whined, surveying my messy toy-covered room. “Because if you don’t clean up, someone will have an accident,” said my mum. “You’re worst than Luke, I can tell.” “No, don’t tell me Luke is the worst werewolf ever!” I cried. “Look, Sybil, you’re about as messy as everyone in Scream Street.” “Look across the street - I bet Luke’s living a simple life unlike you, playing video games and relaxing on his bed.” “Then why can’t I be like Luke?” I asked. “Because right now, along this street, he’s cleaning his room already…”

Right across the road lay a normal house surrounded by a garden full of flowers, with claw marks all over the walls and a ‘Beware Werewolf’ sign on the front of the gate. And now, the world’s boniest teacher, Dr Skulley, will speak the first beautifully constructed line of the new series….

“Ooo me leg! Bad dog, drop!”

Inside this particular house, Luke was sliding down the bannister, and onto the landing, ready for an evening’s larking with his friends. “Luke!” called his mum’s voice from upstairs. “Where are you off to?” “I’m just popping out - I’m going to go and meet Resus and Cleo at Eefa’s!” called Luke. “So you’ve finished tidying your room?” “Yeah, sure.” “Then you won’t mind if I check.” Luke raced upstairs, but it was too late - Mrs Watson had already looked into his extremely messy room. It was full of clutter everywhere. Mrs Watson screamed and almost fainted just as Luke raced to the top of the stairs. “You should’ve seen it before I cleared it up,” Luke joked. Mrs Watson frowned. She was not one for those kinds of jokes. “Go tell your friends you can’t stay out tonight, then straight back here to tidy up.” she scowled. Luke sighed and slumped down the stairs. “And I’m the one who’s supposed to be scary when I’m angry,” he grumbled. “Heard that!” called Mrs Watson.

At Eefa’s Emporium, Eefa sat at the counter cleaning using a magic duster. At one table, Cleo was having a milkshake, while Resus was having some tomato juice. Tomato juice oozed around his mouth as he drank. He wiped it away and called, “Hey, Eefa, another tomato juice, please.” “Coming right up,” said Eefa, and she filled Resus’ glass up with more of the red stuff using her magic. The door was already open as Luke walked in. He was already feeling down in the dumps. “Luke!” cried Cleo, “We’re going to make you the happiest monster in Scream Street.” “They said it was sold out, but I only managed to get us three tickets to the Brain Drain concert tonight, yep, Resus rocks!” smiled the young vampire. “You’re kidding,” sighed Luke. “Er…hello, tickets to Brain Drain?” called Resus, as if Luke were deaf. “I can’t go!” wailed Luke. “WHAT?!” cried Resus. “You’re passing up tickets to the sickest band in the last 4,000 years?!” cried Cleo.

Now, Brain Drain was a very popular band. They’ve been touring around the world since they formed, and they could already take their limbs off. Take Stix, the drummer, for instance. His limbs kept falling off ever since he was a baby, so he had to have a set of extra arms just in case he needed them. Dread was the guitarist, and he was named this way because he was born with dreadlocks. In fact, it tickled his mother so much when he was born, because he had a head full of hair. Babies being born is the most difficult thing you have to cope with in your entire life - you just lie on a hospital bed and push and push and push while you cry out in agony…and then, your little bundle of joy comes into the world. When he or she is a zombie, you have to sell him to an orphanage, because with rotting limbs and no brain, he would never do well in school, and maybe eat the other kids’ brains when they aren’t looking. Zombies in Scream Street aren’t sold to orphanages - they have proper parents and live without any schooling or education.

“Aaaawww, poor widdle Wukey has to tidy his woom?” said Cleo in a cutesy baby voice. “Nasty mummy won’t let him out!” teased Resus in the exact same manner. This is exactly how Cleo and Resus talked to me when I was just a baby. Resus loved playing with me, and lying on the floor to lift me up and cuddling me - but he despaired when it was time to change my nappy. He despised the stench of dirty nappies, even going so far as to gag and head to the bathroom to vomit. Cleo cared for me like a real big sister. She would put a snake sock puppet on her hand and entertain me by making it slither around the place and giving me velvety kisses on my cheek. Sometimes she would share bubble baths with me and massage me with bubbles while playing with my yellow rubber duck. Cleo was ace at nappy changing. She was ace at feeding time. She was even more of an ace at playtime.

In another part of the shop, Sir Otto Sneer and his nephew Dixon were shopping for items they need for well living at Sneer Hall. They became unnoticed by Luke, who went up to Eefa and tried to stutter over his words when he said, “Eefa, I’ve got this, er, friend who desperately needs to tidy up their room like super quickly.” “I’ve got just the thing.” Eefa reached down behind the counter and produced… “A broom.” “Boring!” Luke heard Dixon’s voice call. Otto’s voice yelled “Shut up, Dixon!” Once they had quietened down, Luke said, “I was…er…my friend was thinking something a bit less hard-worky and a bit more…you know, magicky.” “Why should I help this friend?” Luke stuttered over his words, but eventually managed to say, “You know it’s me, right? Right. Well, er….” “We’ll give you some werewolf fur to use in your magic potions.” said Resus. Eefa looked at the empty wolf fur jar. “Actually, we are running low.” she said. Luke and Resus high-fived each other.

Eefa got out a golden box from behind the counter with a picture of stars on the pink label. “Watch carefully,” she said. She sprinkled a little on her hand and blew it across the room. At once, Eefa’s cleaning materials sprang into action, putting boxes back on the shelf, sweeping the floor and dusting dusty corners. Resus and Cleo looked on in awe! Otto tried to look, but his view got blocked by a box. When Otto did get a better look, he felt something rough rubbing on his smooth head. It was a duster. “It’s very very strong stuff, highly potent, so be careful to only use a tiny amount.” Eefa said as she handed the box to Luke. “I don’t usually let it out of my emporium at all, I’ll send my bat over to pick it up shortly.” “Thanks, Eefa, you won’t regret it!” laughed Luke, and he skipped out the door. “Catch you at the gig!” he called to Resus and Cleo.

When he got back home, Luke burst open the door into his messy room. His arms were stuffed with cleaning equipment, with the magic cleaning powder in his left hand. He dropped everything and sprinkled the powder all over the cleaning equipment. At once, the cleaning stuff got to work - as I described with Eefa’s cleaning stuff before, it did all the same things it did with the boxes and the items at the emporium. Luke’s room was being cleaned in a jiff. “Luke?” called his mum’s voice. Luke shut the door just as his mum called, “Everything alright in there?” “Fine, fine, just hard at it!” he called.

A few minutes later, the doorbell rang. Luke raced over to answer it. Floating outside the door was Eefa’s bat. But as Luke handed the bat the cleaning powder, he was unaware that this bat had green hair! “Mum! I’ve finished!” called Luke, and he went to show his mum his now spotless room. “How on earth did you manage to get this done?” she asked, flabbergasted. “Oh, you know, hard work,” smiled Luke, attempting to shut the alive vacuum cleaner up in the cupboard. “Certainly tidy. Off you go.” she smiled. “Oh yeah!” he cried, and raced downstairs. But waiting for him was the real bat, screeching and shrieking in anger. “But I just gave it to you.” The bat shrieked again. “What? I don’t have it any more, I can’t give it to you twice, can I?” The bat flew away, and Eefa appeared on Luke’s doorstep. “What do you mean you don’t have it anymore?” Luke tried to explain the reason, but he just stumbled over his words. “Never cross a witch! You might not live to regret this.” she hissed. “Return it to me!” Eefa vanished in a puff of smoke, leaving Luke standing outside in the light, feeling pretty nervous.

At that moment, I had just finished cleaning my room, and I ran outside to see Luke looking very anxious. “Hi, Luke!” I said, “Why the long face? Has your mum caught you stealing something from Eefa’s again?” “It’s her magic cleaning powder,” said Luke, and he told me all about the missing cleaning powder. “Ah, I know all about this. I’ve dealt with these kinds of situations before. Look, Luke, if you’re going to get Eefa’s cleaning powder back, why not enlist the help of your friends? You can’t do it on your own, you know.” Luke thought for a minute. He looked at me. Then he looked across the road. “Yes. I can so do it!” he cried, and high-fived me exceptionally happy that he received this good advice. I ran back into my house, feeling that it was already time for bed. Now, Luke was on his own.

Meanwhile, in Sneer Hall, Sir Otto was combing his hair strands and admiring himself in his handheld mirror. The green-haired bat flew through the window carrying Eefa’s cleaning powder in its feet (HA! “The seagull will be carrying a shape in its feet,” said the announcer. “Shut up!” said Sir Otto.). “Splendid, splendid!” laughed Sir Otto, “Excellent work, Dixon. How much do I pay you?” The bat transformed back into Dixon and replied, “Nothing. I’m an apprentice.” “Then double it,” Otto said. I was quite young to understand minimum wage, but I certainly know how to spend or pay with money. In another part of the street, Luke partially transformed, but he focused on his bottom and his tail came poking out! He tried again, this time focusing on his face. This time, he got it right. He sniffed all around the place and galloped over to Sneer Hall.