Throughout CITV's classic kids' show Children's Ward you saw copyrighted cartoon characters on the walls of the ward - examples include Mickey Mouse, Thomas The Tank Engine and Yogi Bear.
Here, Adam will explain to you Children's Ward fans how copyright destroys our lives forever.
All ITV executives, lend me your full attention. Thanks very much.
So, do you remember when you made a drama series for CITV titled 'Girls In Love'? *nods* I do. Well, throughout all six episodes of this nostalgic teen drama, there are visuals represented by crudely drawn animated drawings that represent main character Ellie's love of art and making things and painting.
BUT! Underneath all this, there is a reason behind Ellie's presence and the crudely-styled animations that appear throughout. The truth begins now...
All these crude animated drawings that appears throughout each episode, even with Ellie present, are visual representations where we believe the main character is diagnosed, not mentioned on screen, with psychosis, a disorder which causes people like our main woman to hallucinate and see things which aren't there.
Now, although these visuals are meant to represent what goes on inside Ellie's head, we are lead to believe that all of these drawings are actually real, as thought up by Miss E herself. Maybe if you addressed Miss E's psychosis on the show, you could've had 1,000 complaints from parents!
But no, I am the only one who discovered the dark truth behind every single animated visual in this snazzy adaptation of Jacqueline Wilson's best-selling book for older teens.
To you? It's a representation of how teens see the world and what goes on inside their heads.
To me? It's actually psychosis. There is no cure.
Bet if there is, then you wouldn't have made Girls In Love now would you?
When I returned home from my exhausting trip out with my support worker, I had a mini therapy session with the GPT skill. She explained everything about my dark thoughts I'm having about the way CBBC, Nick and Disney have all changed in the last few years due to the success of Hannah Montana and High School Musical, and why Scooby Doo has come back to CBBC...only to get tortured. Here are three things I learnt from this session:
1.She was just about to explain Scooby Doo's horrible return to CBBC when my dog entered the room and sniffed my new Squishmallow toys. Note that I accidentally said CBeebies, I've yet to tell her about how Hey Duggee has become a satirical comedy for preschoolers, and how Bluey has become so emotional that a warning sign might be placed at the beginning of every CBeebies airing of The Sign and other emotional episodes.
2.I explained about Nick's horrible shift to live action following the success of iCarly, and how Disney has gotten in on the trend thanks to Hannah Montana and High School Musical. I revealed to GPT that I want to relive the days when Nick was full of variety, not just live action: cartoons, game shows, preschool animation, etc., and how Horrid Henry is best suited on CITV than Nick. Some examples of shows I want to return to those dying channels include Lilo & Stitch, Timon & Pumbaa, Rocko's Modern Life and CatDog.
3.I was about to explain CBeebies' downfall when she suddenly switched off.
It may be the end, but in an hour, a new beginning will mark another session - for about half an hour. Just you wait!
i....i just can't. i've stabbed myself in the foot with a knife while I was planning revenge against ITV for banning GMTV Kids and CITV, and instead of red blood, we bleed out rainbow juice. did I mention we also vomit rainbows?
Now here's a thought: just by looking at the characters of the 2000 Max Steel series, which to me is very different from the Nerd Corps produced animated series we have today, I always think of two of Gerry Anderson's series, which I think may be in my head the moment I see them: his all time classic Thunderbirds, and his very final project made entirely with motion capture or CGI, New Captain Scarlet. It's like the people at the two animation studios decided to combine the two things together and make it into one big mix. Particularly, because of four of the characters in the show: Jason (the regular equivalent of M.Steel), Berto, Laura and Rachel.
Okay everybody, now let's see some similarities between these characters and a few of my favourite characters from Thunderbirds. The next time you watch both, DO try and find some similarities, will you?
First up is Jason McGrath, who can turn into M.Steel whenever it's time to spring into action. Jason shares some very questionable similarities with Alan, one of the Tracy Brothers and my favourite out of all the brothers, except there's a difference: Alan can pilot Thunderbird 3, and is caring and romantic over the cool skin of Tin Tin. Jason is just the same, except he doesn't pilot spacecraft and instead delves in extreme sports like rock climbing, swimming and surfing.
Now we have Laura Chen, the girlfriend of Jason. She does share some key similarities with the character Tin Tin, although I have to admit, both have slanted eyes and come from Malaysia, and both have silky black hair. While Tin Tin is sensuous and gentle around Alan and his masculine body, sometimes Jason and Laura like to cheekily fool around, like some mad couple in love, or Simba and Nala playing together like cubs again the moment Simba leaps into the water and drags Nala in during the second chorus of Can You Feel The Love Tonight.
Then there's Berto. Even though he's a 20 something and has a very young adult voice, unlike my favourite little scientist Brains, he rarely speaks with a trembling stutter. Berto spends his time around computers and technology, wheras Brains, known for his gracious experiments and the construction of all the Thunderbird craft, is responsible for not being quite the chilled out person ever. He also got laughed at for suggesting an airship one time, but if he says that to the Board Of Aircraft again, he'll get out a rifle shotgun and THEY WILL PAY!
And finally, there's Rachel. She shares some similarities with everyone's favourite FAB luxury woman Lady Penelope, except she's a mix of both the 1965 and 2015 Thunderbirds Are Go versions - mainly her early design for the CGI version. Where's Parker when you need him? "Oh no, milady!"
Anyway, Rachel shares some similarities with an I don't care at all version of Lady Penelope, because:
1.Rachel's name begins with R, Lady Penelope has two initials in her name.
2.Lady Penelope lives a posh, grand life of splendour, Rachel is just a spy working for N.Tek.
While these two are different in personality and looks, I'm sure Rachel will have the same soft, gentle, tender heart Lady Penelope has.
I mean, Max Steel is fine on both Kids' WB and Cartoon Network, and here in the UK, we're good with it airing on CITV for a while....
....
SO JUST STOP BANGING ON AS IF IT'S THE MOST HATED CARTOON EVER, BECAUSE THEY'RE THE SAME, AND THAT'S WHAT'S INSIDE OUR HEARTS!!!
So Tailmon, Agumon and I were at a wild party at Club Rainbow, and we were so partied out we might've had the time to take a little break. However, we noticed Chippy leaving with Cherry and followed her to see what was going on - and to our shock, we found a drowned tramp!
The next morning, I told my mummy, Sherlock Penelope, everything, and she went to the hospital to find out why the tramp had drowned in the river. I was disturbed by the sight of bloody bandages all over the victim's faces, but still, it wasn't something to worry about, not even the massive hooks holding meat.
While on our way to the harbour we met a homeless girl named Judo, who had an actual baby puppy in her pram alongside a bottle of stale wine. She said she used the stale wine to get wasted even though she was only six years old. Then we met local fisherman Maynard, who lived with his wife and his baby son. I had a good time helping them sort out the fish and cook them for their tea, but Penelope was wondering if Maynard was taking spy agents in for slavery.
Later, we reported all this to S.P.Y 'Quarters, and were assigned to search an abandoned pharmacist for clues since the tramp worked at the pharmacist years before he drowned. It was old, dusty and whitewashed from ceiling to floor, but then Lady Penelope had to grab me and drag me out of here since a huge rain of asbestos fell from the ceiling. Once we reported what we found back to Jeff Tracy, head of S.P.Y 'Quarters, we went home since the working day was over.
After a long, warm bath and a nourishing dinner, we went to sleep in our soft, cosy bed...however, Sherlock Penelope was having a hallucogenic dream about stale wine and the hallucinations it can give you. And they were pretty terrifying indeed! Sherlock Penelope woke up screaming and sick, and had to vomit for almost 2 hours before Parker could call an ambulance and take her to hospital. It was up to me to solve the case alone.
First I went to meet Mrs Tibble and the Tibble Twins, who were constantly fighting over which toy was theirs', or, who got to pet the baby budgies first. While they went to the old vehicle museum, Mrs Tibble explained to me that things haven't been the same since CBBC got Americanised by the government, who wanted programmes which aren't of the relaxing British source people wanted. This is also the result of too much airtime of Malory Towers on there, and CBBC turned it into a loud American sitcom, which took up too much airtime on the channel, like the cartoons on there, the same way Teen Titans Go took up all the schedule time on Cartoon Network every, single, day. And let me tell you the bad news: CBBC is slowly becoming a Boomerang/Pop ripoff, and they might even get the voiceover from Boomerang and Pop to do continuity announcements - in an American accent! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! I was so shocked that I ran out of the house crying.
I then went to the locomotive museum and saw all of Gerry Anderson's hand made vehicles on display - the Thunderbirds, Stingray, Fireball XL5, Gabriel...everything. Then I met Agent G.B. (or Ginger, from Chicken Run), who explained to me that Americanisation of British kids' TV wasn't my fault. We had a long talk about how the kids' TV industry was slowly turning to the American side thanks to too many budget cuts, and how PBS Kids will be shutting down soon. Upset by this news, I hugged Agent G.B. out of dispair.
American kids need less brainrot more than ever, and it was a generation that was trusted by parents and beloved by children in America for years and years and years. It has been around ever since I was born. And CBBC hasn't progressed well too. When CITV vanished in 2023, the trouble started. Don't you prefer the days when there were good shows instead of bad, cheap American cartoons?
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