A Fab Existential Conversation

....just for us?

Us? You mean the girls who want to buy Fab back in the '60s? Oh my dear lady, I'm just crying hearing the music from your advert where you just had a Fab after escaping from an explosion. I could just hear the music set to a montage of images of you and Parker looking after me when I was a baby: giving me a nice, warm, bubbly bath, drying me and engaging in tickles and snuggles, and you, Penelope, cradling me to sleep. I just feel sleepy thinking about it - it was your way of pampering me after a busy day.

Now, I can think back to my childhood when you played the piano for me on Winter nights, and I'd sit there, listening intently. Often, a mug of hot chocolate would be warming my hands as I listen to your soothing music playing in your quiet, country mansion. You'd play 'Mother's Love', a piece that I'd love to hear, as I closed my eyes and listened to the music intertwined with the Winter wind outside. I don't know how they cope with Winter over on Tracy Island - does the sea around the island freeze over? What about the pool?

Anyway, because of how Fab our time together is, I love you so much, Lady Penelope. When I go to bed tonight, I'll close my eyes and picture you cuddling me on your recliner chair in your room, all soft and warm.

Pasture Fog

Honey Pie Pony and Orange Twist

Frolicking in the Autumn mist

Milkshake and Cookie Dough

Watching the peaceful river flow

Minty, Sunny Daze and Pinkie Pie

Lying down and looking up at the sky

Rainbow Dash and Wysteria

Discovering nature's scents, imperial

Toola Roola and Scootaloo

Joining in with playing in the mud too

Kimono and Sparkleworks

Making face paint out of the dirt

Orko, Custard, Pupcake and me

Playing with the horses, wild and free

This foggy valley shrouded in mist

Being sisters and brothers - what bliss

Life's a free will when you're a horse

Nature is where you belong, of course.

Phones Says...

Phones says....

"I'm a true Scottish highlander, the pride of them all

Dancing at festivals, having a ball

Playing the bagpipes, the call to Scottish pride

My Scottish Terrier by my side.

Does that make Oink jealous? You bet it does,

Being a Scottish person makes my head buzz

But if I turn Scottish, I'll leave Marineville behind

All I have to do is make up my mind.

I'll miss Troy and Marina and Atlanta Shore

I'll miss Commander Shore, Titan and many more

Without me around to pilot Stingray

Titan will conquer and rule the day

I have two homes: one real, one in my mind

One with friends I daren't leave behind

The other a bonny pride to humankind

And thus the dream escapes my mind."

Pink

Today is the day, hip hip hooray,

My support worker’s taking me out today

We’re going to get things for my new pink room

So they can be like rosy heirlooms

Off we both set to the town of Inverness

My support worker is wearing her flowery dress

We stop outside the care home, lit up by the sun

I think about when Thunderbirds got the American runs

Roxanne and Trip had ruined the show

With Turbocharged Thunderbirds, they definitely weren’t go

I often blame them for all my mistakes

Whether big or little, through the chances I take

My support worker returns and off we set

To the big, wonderful town of Inverness

First to B&M for a pink shopping spree

While I sit in the car in serenity

I finally have the idea for a story

That’ll receive a prize for writing’s glory

So taking my pen I begin to write

About TruMoo and Simba and other delights

A few moments of waiting and my supporter returns

Carrying the most beautiful pink things on Earth

They sparkle and glisten in the Autumn sun

They look so beautiful, oh, and so fun

A pink axolotl who has a nutty tooth

A feather boa whose feathers are falling loose

A handheld mirror for a movie star

A nightlight made of crystals - aaaaahhh!

A pink coaster for putting my drinks on while working

And a rainbow basket for laundry so dirty

So now I know where to put smelly pants

So my dog won’t rip them as a willing participant!

Next we go to the local KFC

Where a fried chicken meal is waiting for me

While supporter goes to order, I write some more

The story’s already beginning to soar!

Once KFC did a Thunderbirds promotion

That’ll make you want to dive right into the ocean

I’m planning to add that into the tale

Along with a bath scene that might make you wail

Supporter returns with my chicken dinner

Yes, I think, a real jackpot! Winner!

But sadly she never got those awesome balloons

They give out free to little kids they choose

We choose a quiet space, the baker near the car park

The sunlight felt like it was about to go dark

We ate our lunch, and boy was it filling

Mind if I describe it? Go ahead, I’m willing

Boneless chicken all juicy and tender

Popcorn chicken for the hungry and slender

Finally a cup of Diet Pepsi all fizzy

Now I can finally get down to bizzy

But now I see people who feel quite strange

If they’re in a store, you’d see such a range

A biker gang, one of which has a ponytail

A campervan hosting a dog and his male

A man with a dog wearing a blue bobble hat

I guess, my friends, that that is that

Supporter and I are on our way

Off to Invergordon for a cake - yumm-ay!

On the streets, I see a man with a boy

Chatting to two other men, I might enjoy

This gave me an idea to think up an autistic boy

Who cannot talk but through trains experiences joy

His name is Miles, and he’s my OC

An original character if you ask me

Not from Thunderbirds or whatever

But from Bluey, the best dog show ever

Emerging with the cake, supporter drives on

To the parking space somewhere near the pond

With no fork or spoon to eat my cake slice

I use my fingers - mmmmm, how very nice!

I’m sure by now you’ve heard of a chocolate cake

Which caused some massive bellyache

But when I eat the cake my fingers get sticky

So I give them a very good licky!

With my belly now full we drive off home

To make my room a home sweet home

With thanks to supporter, I can finally enjoy

The room I’ve waited for - oh boy oh boy!

Wet Rock

Out of the rain into the cave

In this mountain paradise we play

Penelope and me, no worries and no cares

As the wind blows softly through our hair

The dark, cool cave is a nice retreat

From the sweltering Summer and the boiling heat

From our point of view, it is going to rain

Who knows when we might come out again

For now, Penny and I are happy as can be

Sitting in its cool darkness, her and me

Gazing at cave paintings from a long time ago

Wet with rain from head to toe

The cave is our sanctuary, a cool, comfortable place

Away from the dangers we must face

Painting with ochre and hand painting the walls

We quickly realise Summer's turning to fall

With Autumn around, we stay in our cave

I know someday that I have to be brave...

Sleepyhead

The night sky shines its light outside

Penelope shows her softer side

As she cuddles me close, a true sleepyhead

And it isn't even time for bed

She lies on the sofa, tired herself

My soft toy Pink Teddy lies atop the shelf

As I curl on her tummy and breathe gently

It's good for my soul physically and mentally

I'm cosy and warm, wrapped up tight

In a blanket on this cold night

Penelope finger combs my hair

While she whispers softly, "I'm there."

Lullaby music on the gramophone

With Penny by my side, I'm never alone

Parker sees us and is moved in his heart

Our friendship's a true work of art

Penelope whispers into my ear,

"Don't worry, my darling. I'm here."

Maple Storm

Out in the car with my support worker I go

The gravel crackling on the ground below

As we set off on another grey day

For a massive storm is heading our way

We drive for a long time with no radio

Music plays as the easygoing goes

Through my headphones the ukulele blares

Which sometimes gets a hold of my hair

We stop at the Co-Op to get a cocoa

I take out my book and now I know

Where I’m up to with my story I write

Pitter patter! Raindrops are in sight

My support worker returns with the drink I need

We park to a place where I can think or feed

I discover my coffee’s a maple flavour

But still, the autumny taste I savour

There’s a mug holder in the back of the car

Which is right near me, not too far

I open it up and put my drink in

But something’s horrid about the taste within

Maple is for pancakes, not chocolate I’m told

But during this time I had to be bold

I drank every drop and tried to like it

But to my support worker I said I disliked it

We drive through the rain to Tesco in town

Where my support worker drives through the rain with a frown

He’s gonna get nappies for his daughter’s bum

All the while I’m a very reasonable chum

We get our food from Tesco, it looks yummy

Just what I need to fill up my tummy

But my support worker has to get his first

So I grab my book before things get worst

I write and I write while the rain drums beats

Waiting and waiting for something to eat

When my support worker returns, we eat right away

While in my head rice, bananas, beans and veggies play

With me now full, we drive on the bridge

To where the seals live far over the ridge

But they aren’t here, the storm’s in full circle

Is it me or am I seeing purple?

So off we drive back home, beep beep

Off on down to my main street

Home at last, oh what a day

When the storm made its pledge to stay

The Kathleen Plan

1. Feel the fear and do it anyway!

2. Stay true to yourself.

3. Write in your own unique style.

4. Don’t let anybody else tell you how to write.

5. Ignore the comments on Reddit telling you how they feel about your story, etc..

6. Surround yourself with friends who’ll support you

7. Your characters and poem/story ideas make you who you are. You are special!

8. You can write about any character you want.

9. The Day I Turned Scarlett sucks. Don’t read it.

10. NO SERIOUSLY, DON’T READ IT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

The Day I Turned Scarlett According To Captain Scarlet

Greetings, fellow Spectrum agents.

Captain Scarlet speaking.

Recently, my good friend Sarah asked me to take a look at the story she read with her mum last night. It was named 'The Day I Turned Scarlett' and it was part of a series of stories called 'Inspiration For Writers'. None of us Spectrum agents were writers ourselves, even Captain Magenta isn't good at math. But when I looked at the story...

*vomits*

Urgh, god! You know what it reminded me of? The World According To Humphrey and Born To Run. Both of these books feature animals and are very different in tone - one has hamsters, the other has dogs. If this story in this Chicken Soup For The Soul book were about someone writing Captain Scarlet fanfiction, you know, shipping me and Destiny Angel, I wouldn't have a problem with it. But they had to make it about someone writing about a character from Gone With The Wind. I had to sit there and watch as this woman author, named Kathleen, write a heart-punching story about staying true to who you are.

So, fellow Spectrum agents, should you encounter Kathleen again, run! No, wait....

FIGHT BACK!