Wednesday, 28 October 2020

I.B.F.Fs - Featuring Luella!

Inspired by 'Endless Summer', I've thought up two new I.B.F.Fs shorts featuring Luella.

In 'I.B.F.Fs & The Trampoline', Cleo, Luella and I play on the trampoline in my garden, gazing up at clouds and trying to fend off an evil cat living next door before running inside again when it starts to rain.

In the soothing 'I.B.F.Fs: Thermal Conditioning' which once more contains glorious stop-motion nudity, my younger self describes a sensual fantasy where Luke, Resus, Cleo, Luella and I all enjoy a dip in a thermal hot spring, later joined by a troop of snow monkeys. Find out more about why snow monkeys like to do that here:

The Vampire School Goth Band - My World

The CBBC Complaint Letter Song

CBBC, I love you
I admire all the things you do (well, most of them)
You've helped me survive every year and day
But I don't like it when you take Scream Street away!

I'll write you a letter of complaints
Of all the mess you produced all through this year
Blood, violence, adult themes & language
All I want is to give my friends a hug!

Your two new cartoons are stupid and sick
One causes bad luck, the other ain't thick
Scream Street stands out above the rest
So go home and stay there, you adult-oriented mess!

Yes I will write a letter of complaints.

Scream Street Bites - Mildred & Luella

CLEO: So you see, Luella and I were skating along the forest and Tut-Tut, my cat, threw himself into the Underlands and I was crying my eyes out! I never cry, so it's a first for me.
MILDRED: Wow! There must've been a lot going on since April of that year.
LUELLA: I know right, it's like totally awesome...are we still friends?
MILDRED: Yeah, sure. Why?
LUELLA: Because Cleo and I are BFFs, and-
MILDRED: I-B-F-Fs...hey! You're Sybil's friend, Cleo!
CLEO: Mmm-hmm, rely on me, witch.
LUELLA: I want you to round up Maud and Enid so Cleo can be part of the gang and maybe learn spells at Cackles'. Hey...is it me or do I still hear Cleo crying in my head?
CLEO: I hear it, too.
MILDRED: I'm in. Why don't we take Cackles' Trademark Cold Medicine and sleep through the second showing of that episode?
CLEO: I didn't know Cackles' produced cold medicine.
MILDRED: Oh yes they did!
*Mildred takes out two glasses and pours one for Luella and one for Cleo. She has the bottle all to herself.*
MILDRED: Cheers!
*The three drink up, then begin to feel sleepy*
LUELLA: I seriously need to watch that witch...
*The three collapse*

MINUTES LATER....
MAUD: Mildred? Mildred...wake up!
ENID: Come on, man, you're missing the action.
LUKE: Cleo, you've knocked yourself clean out!
*The three wake up from their sleep*
CLEO: What happened? I'm feeling a serious hangover there.
MILDRED: Me too. You know, The Worst Witch aired not once this week! NOT ONCE!
ENID: Calm down, Millie, it'll all be okay.
RESUS: Cleo...are you going to join us for tomorrow's episode?
CLEO: *vomits* WHY DOES SCREAM STREET HAVE TO GO NEXT WEEK?! CBBC'S BEEN CRUEL TO US ALL YEAR!! *begins crying*
MAUD: She's drunk again.
LUELLA: You should go.
MILDRED: Right.
*Everyone dashes off, leaving Cleo alone*

Watch all four seasons of The Worst Witch and the Scream Street episode Endless Summer on iPlayer:

Storytime Is Cancelled!

I'm not doing Storytime today, but I'm doing it another day since more thoughts of Scream Street entered my mind. While you're waiting, you can write your own stories, and some plays to go along with them!

What I Think Of CBBC's Shows In 2020

"What started as a light hearted beginning to 2020 on CBBC, with little BGDCMC to be seen, quickly devolved into a dumpster fire of course language, violence and adult themes, with shows such as Gym Stars and Mystic deemed not suitable for kids, or CBBC's target audience. Viewer discretion is advised."

-My warning

OH MY GOD!

THAT'S Luella's room?! I mean, I've never seen it for the last five years, but this is so much like Luella's become a movie star. I think this'll be perfect for Mildred, Maud and Enid to host a sleepover with Luella. This is the first time she's seen in her pyjamas, too, and she looks cosy in them. Really, really, cosy.

So cosy it never has been seen before, as with every Scream Street episode.....

The 'Hood: Wiggles & Giggles Teaser

Izzy is looking after Bingo for the day. Bingo misses Mum, Dad and Bluey, but Izzy tries to keep her happy by showing her some fun games that'll get her wiggling and giggling, starting with the game of tickling her feet.

While you're waiting, look for more wiggly giggly activities for you and your child here:

The 'Hood: Wiggles & Giggles. Coming soon!

Eventually....

....American Dad's episode 'Hot Water' did air on BBC Three once upon a time, and that was good because now I'm using the episode and its sadistic hot tub to represent the Scream Street episode 'Vanity Calamity'. Now, years later, the hot tub has changed its way and has voted Vanity Calamity as its favourite episode of the show, so, here is his intelligent speech about the episode:
"So just try and...relax. Yeah, baby. Naked...lying back in a tub full of bubbles. 'Cause let me tell you somethin', champagne-drinkin' homies: if you act like Otto acts...nah-ah, yo workin' too hard. And don't spend your time looking around for something you want that can't be found..."

Watch Vanity Calamity on iPlayer, baby!

Halloween Spooktacular

Trust me, I think I'm going to have the sexiest Halloween anyone ever had....

When You Sing Johnson's Baby Songs With Your Mum In The Bath

Why I Think Of Seasons 5-6 Of Pingu As An Elaborate Shaun The Sheep Ripoff

When seasons 5-6 of Pingu came onto CBeebies, people enjoyed the cheeky young penguin's humorous antics, BUT! Years later a TV series named Shaun The Sheep appeared on CBBC. Now, comparing the humor in both these shows, I find the humors similar, and the characters explicitly showing innuendo and kid-inappropriate toilet humor every two seconds in every episode. Second and most importantly, Pingu and Pinga in these series are constantly whining sociopaths who complain, scream and throw tantrums whenever they don't get their way. Sure, it has all the kindness and love featured in other preschool shows, but why would CBeebies show toilet humor and bratty personas at the time? I like the old series of Pingu because the characters behave appropriately, but when Pingu came onto Milkshake a few years ago....*sighs* Well, Milkshake is famous for characters that throw tantrums and become self-centered brats (imagine if they aired Caillou!), but Pingu is....er...mmmm...concerningly adult in its 5th and 6th seasons. The Pinga in this season cries a lot when she doesn't get her way, leading some to believe Timmy's personality is similar to Pinga. Pingu's parents and every other adult in these seasons are no help either - instead of scolding Pingu like in the original seasons, they just shrug it off and let him do whatever he wants, like mess up a toy shop or paint the town. Urgh! I used to love it as a kid, but at that age, I still felt something wrong the moment I saw Shaun The Sheep the first time. The humor is similar, the animation style is similar, the format is similar - a wordless show - and these series of Pingu make Looney Tunes look like Once Upon A Forest. Why would HOT Animation make this decision? Pingu sounds like a mentally unstable person, and Pinga sounds like a Pontipine.

Just look at the revival of classic Pingu, which used dramatic music in all scenes. The original BBC version of Pingu is much better because it is quiet, it used happy music all the time and the Penguinese is great. Just great.

Next time you see your child throwing a tantrum during seasons 5-6 of Pingu, turn it off. I repeat, TURN IT OFF! Watch Shaun The Sheep instead.