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One night, Lady Penelope found me crying on our bed. She sat down, switched on the light and held me close. I could feel her light rose perfume scent fill my nose, and her silk nightie was soft against my skin.

“I heard it all!” I wept, “I don’t want to watch the same things over and over.” “You mean like that stupid fox?” “Basil Brush, yes. I hate him! And I mustn’t forget that stupid Sylvanian Families DVD, I’ve seen it ONE TOO MANY TIMES!”

“Not so loudly,” said Penelope, “What made you think buying them was a good idea?” “I wanted to buy them so I could be - well, entertained, and now I heard that Thunderbirds is back on Talking Pictures TV, I wanted to see it. Now everyone’s forcing me to watch DVDs instead, because it’s real TV!”

I buried my face into Penelope’s shoulder and cried harder. Penelope stroked my back and cradled me in her arms. At once, I stopped crying. I began to feel warm and loved. “Oh dear, things like that happen sometimes, little one.” reassured Penelope, “But you’ll always find new things to watch, even if there’s no Sky. But you can get rid of them and rip them to pieces, so there’s no need to worry your head off about it anymore tonight.” With a knowing smile, I began to hug Penelope, her soft embrace feeling like that of a cuddly fashion doll. “There now. There, there.” whispered Penelope. “I guess the Tracy brothers really are bullies to me sometimes, right, Penny?” I asked. “Yes, they can be,” corrected Penelope, “But you can always forget what they’re saying, because you’ll always have me.” “And Parker?” I asked. “And Parker.” replied Penelope. From another room, Parker called out: “I heard that, milady!”

“Now, then, little one, don’t you worry about it any more tonight.” “Except for Brains? And Jeff? And Grandma Tracy? ‘Cause they’re the only ones who can understand me.” Penelope put on a determined smile on her face. “Oh yes,” she said fiercely, “Then Jeff will catch those naughty boys and SPANK them!”

I screamed with laughter, instantly recovering from my sadness, as Penelope began to chase me around the bedroom. Then I leapt up onto our bed and thwacked Penelope in the face with a soft pillow. Penelope hit me back, and soon we were both engaging in a pillow fight which sent feathers flying everywhere, until we both collapsed onto the bed, laughing loudly.

At last, settling under the covers, I yawned, “Goodnight, Penelope. I love you, big sister.” “I love you too, little sister,” smiled Penelope, as she switched off the light and we both fell fast asleep. At once, Parker came in to see what all the noise was, and found us fast asleep. “Oh dear me,” said Parker, “They must be tuckered out after she ran to her room crying.”

And here’s what Parker told you:

“If you’re having trouble with the TV, remember it’ll only take three whole days before the whole of the media industry is your’s. Talking Pictures TV will regret airing those kinds of fast paced, annoying adverts. Let’s don’t argue about it.”

No Ifs, Ands Or Coconuts

One sunny day on Tracy Island, Lady Penelope and I were relaxing near some palm trees. We were cuddled together on a deck chair, wearing swimwear - Penelope’s was a luscious pink - and drinking coconut juice together. “Aaaaahhh,” I sighed, “What a wonderful day to vacation on Tracy Island, Penelope.” “I think you’re right, it is a good idea to vacation on Tracy Island. I’m sure Jeff and his sons wouldn’t mind.” agreed Penelope. “Penelope,” I said after a minute long silence, “You do know these palm trees are made out of cardboard, right?” “That’s what the Thunderbirds team said when they started production on the show I starred in.” “But what about any coconuts? Can’t they add them on?” “They didn’t have money for real coconuts, but what they did have money for is the budget to make Thunderbirds possible.”

Feeling contented, I snuggled against Penelope, feeling safe and secure. “Still, it’s great to be on vacation with you, Penny. I do enjoy our time on the beach, even more than when we went on vacation in Australia.” “That’s right, and you made a new friend - Cheesecake.” At once, I felt myself giggling cheekily. “Why are you giggling like that?” asked Penelope mischievously. “Because according to Cheesecake, she knew that Australian aboriginal people speak in tongues. Like this: Nya nya nya nya nya nya!” I blabbered, doing my best Annoying Orange imitation. Penelope laughed. It was fun to hang around with Penelope like this, even when I made weird noses like the Nya-Nya-Nya thing.

At last, I yawned, feeling tired out from the heat of the warm sun. Snuggling against Penelope, we both fell asleep, still trying to work on our tan. It was Heaven. I felt safe and secure in Penelope’s arms, feeling happy that-

Uh oh, wait a minute. What’s this?! Penelope and I suddenly woke up and spun around. Thunderbird 2 was about to take off! “GET OUT OF THE WAY!” I shouted, and we jumped out of the way just in time as our deckchair was crushed and Thunderbird 2 took off into the sky.

Penelope was furious over this. “Hrmph!” she growled, “Those Thunderbirds.” I felt furious too. “Whatever happened to our vacation, we are NEVER vacationing here again!”

The Aardvark With The Tickly Nose

One day in the plains of Africa, Furaha the lioness cub and Orko were chasing each other across the grasslands in a delightful game of tag. “You’ll never catch me, Orko!” laughed Furaha. “Oh yeah, well I bet I could catch you if you paid me a million pounds!” “There’s no money or greed in Africa!” called Furaha, before she screeched to a halt and pounced onto Orko, tickling him playfully. “Hey! No! That tickles!” cried Orko.

At last, Furaha rolled over onto her back and giggled with Orko, then they both started to relax together, the air of Africa quiet enough to concentrate on their minds and bodies, as the grasses swayed against their skin and fur. Orko wasn’t wearing his robe, because it was too hot in Africa, so he only wore his hat, scarf and red silk skirt. Furaha enjoyed days like this: running around playing in the grasslands and then lying down to relax in the spindly grasses. It was a sunshining day.

However, the peace was not to last - in a playful way that is. A long nose peered out through the grass and started to tickle Furaha. How she laughed! Orko at once woke up, disturbed by the sudden laughter. “What? What is it, what’s going on?” “A nose just tickled me!” giggled Furaha. “Don’t be silly, Furaha, noses don’t tickle people!” fibbed Orko, but by ‘fibbed’, I meant he was quite wrong, because the nose peered through the spindly grasses and tickled Orko’s skin, causing him to laugh loudly in a playful cackle. “Alright, who’s doing this,” laughed Furaha, trying to hold her laughter back.

As if on cue, out of the grasses came an aardvark, with said long nose wiggling about. “So that’s what this is all about!” gasped Orko. “That aardvark wants to play a tickling game with us!” “We’d be happy to play your game with you, Mr. Aardvark, count us in!” said Furaha. “And me too!” called Orko.

The aardvark nodded, its nose wiggling, and the tickling began. The aardvark began to tickle them everywhere - their necks, tummies, legs, arms and toes. Aardvarks are natural ticklers, or at least that’s what Furaha thinks, because of their long noses. All day long they tickled each other.

Furaha tickled Orko, Orko tickled Furaha, Furaha and Orko tickled the aardvark, and the aardvark, obviously, tickled them.

When Furaha and Orko returned to the acacia tree that night to tell Optimus about their encounter with the aardvark, he was nowhere to be seen. The two looked around in the darkness for their friend, until they saw a giant hand poking out from behind the tree. At once, Furaha and Orko began to giggle, and at once…

“BOO!” shouted Optimus, leaping out from behind the tree and startling Furaha and Orko. “Oh my goodness, what a fright!” giggled Furaha, and Optimus started tickling them. Furaha and Orko laughed as Optimus tickled them endlessly, until they started yawning, indicating they were very tired.

Optimus picked the two friends up in his strong arms and cuddled them softly. He sat by the large rock that stood near the acacia tree and hummed a soothing lullaby as he cradled them in his arms, knowing they’re safe and secure in the African moonlight.

Under The Duvet

One fine day in the mansion, Parker was making Lady Penelope’s bed. It was a fine, soft, quilted bed, that I would perfectly like to sleep on with her, letting her protect me all night long, only like a mother would. But she is my sister, so, whatever.

It was while Parker was making our bed that he heard some giggling coming from under the duvet. “What on earth is going on under there?” asked Parker. “I ‘ope Bluey and Bingo ‘aven’t snuck in accidentally. Hmmmm…maybe it sounds a lot like-” But before he had time to reveal the answer to himself, he saw a huge lump which was made by something hiding under the duvet. “Oh goodness cripes!” shouted Parker, “A little white slug! Milady!”

While Parker ran off to get help, what you do know was that I was hiding under there, wearing my pink silk nightie, giggling away. It felt so comfortable between the bed and the duvet, that for a second there, I felt like I was going to sleep.

“You ‘ave to see this, milady,” said Parker, “I was just making your bed, when all of a sudden, this little white slug appeared.” “Let me handle this, Parker,” said Penelope. “NO, MILADY!” screamed Parker, hiding behind a chair in cowardice, “That slug may bite!” “Who cares?” chuckled Penelope, “That slug may not bite after all.”

And with that, she started to tickle the white lump, causing it (me) to laugh. Immediately, she recognised what caused the laughter. “Ah, yes, I think I know what this laughter belongs too…”

Parker peered out from behind the chair as Penelope reached out to touch the duvet. When she pulled it off, there I was, giggling and laughing like there was no tomorrow! “SARAH!” cried Parker and Penelope at once. “So you’re the little white slug who’s playing tricks on us.” said Penelope with a determined look on her face. “And to think I made your bed, milady, just to find out your sister was hiding under there.” sighed Parker in relief.

Penelope grabbed me and hugged me fiercely, causing me to laugh even further, while Parker scruffled my hair and nose kissed me, chuckling, “Yer little rascal.” However, afterwards, I felt really tired, so I fell fast asleep in Penelope’s arms. She cradled me, and at once, the whole room grew quiet as she laid me on her bed and covered the white duvet over me. She kissed me on the cheek and said, “Sleep tight, little one. I’ll make sure there are no little white slugs about.”

And I’m sure there aren’t, because I was fast aslee-

Uh oh. Blueeeeeyy…Bingooooooo…

Journey Through The Wild World - Chapter 1

Deep in the plains of Africa, not a single wild human roamed the grasslands. The only ‘people’ that roamed the grasses are the animals themselves, from the prowling lion to the big-footed elephant. These animals went about their daily lives peacefully. But what might occur to them would make them blissfully unaware of who they might meet next. Someone who is very well adjusted to living in the wild since Day 1.

And that person is me. I am often accompanied by Lady Penelope in roaming and playing freely in the Grasslands. Penelope was my protector, my guardian. We wore nothing, but we didn’t feel any shame. Under Penelope’s watchful eye, I would run across the grasses and try to chase butterflies which fluttered over the golden plain, while Penelope chuckled watching my hilarious antics in trying to catch one.

Whenever we felt dirty or hot, we swam freely in the water hole. You might be telling me that this is some place where the animals come to drink, but this was not only our drinking place, but our swimming place. A place to relax, splash and play together when the weather gets too humid. Penelope and I would laugh loudly as we splashed each other and showered each other in the cooling water, free of restraints and walls holding us back.

When we were tired out from a long day of play, we would lie down in the tall spindly grass and watch the world slowly go by. To us, the world was a refreshing place where everything took its time. They said that patience was the true virtue of the wild, and whatever said about it was true, believe me. I would snuggle into Penelope’s chest and start breathing gently, as I felt secure and safe in her bare arms. Penelope was the one who kept me safe and warm in the wild, even when the weather got cold. Penelope was more than just a sister, she was like a mother to me, for we are the most unique animals ever to roam the free-spirited place.

When she had the time and energy to do it, Penelope would run around on all fours chasing butterflies with me. This kind of fun activity didn’t require felt or crayons or pens like what was acquired in civilised life, because we lived in the wild, and it was our only home - perfect for two elegant, pretty women who have a free spirit.

During this fun activity, Penelope would pin me to the ground in a non-compromising position and then tickle me on my chest. I would laugh and wiggle my legs, but I couldn’t because Penelope was sitting on them, so I just begged for her to stop endlessly, until I started tickling her. She rolled over onto the floor in an endless laughing fit, and soon both of us were laughing. It was such a freeing feeling, living in the wild heart of Africa. It made us feel like wild women.

When night time rolled around, everything in the Savannah came to a standstill, as if the pause button had been pressed on the scene. Every single animal settled down to sleep in their nests or caves, their yawns of satisfaction echoing through the land. Penelope and I would lie in the grass, in our little nest, and Penelope would tell me about each Constellation that appeared via the stars that shone in the sky. In the wild, as it was written, Constellations are the gods that created our wonderful wilderness, and Penelope held all the knowledge from the moment she was raised there.

Once again, I felt safe and secure in Penelope’s arms, feeling her warmth against my body as we snuggled down to sleep amongst the long, protective grasses. No, seriously, there wasn’t any danger lurking about, but with Penelope, I felt really safe. She always made sure no scary lions or cheetahs would come and separate us, and gave a nice, soft hug to me when I needed it.

So yeah, Africa is such a wonderful place. We couldn’t ask, my friends, for anywhere else to live in, for the wild was the best place for a woman or girl to live in, to unleash her natural femininity.