The Night Before The Bounce Place

'Twas the night before the bounce place and in a large bedroom

Furaha couldn't wait for the day to come soon

She settled into bed with Orko and Optimus by her side

While bouncy castles and arcade machines danced in her mind

When the day arrived, Furaha and Orko were excited

Even Optimus himself was reasonably delighted

Off they set to the fun-filled bounce place

At a quick and steadily fast pace

Once they got there, they bounce high in the air

It was like going on a bouncy castle at the fair

Suddenly, Furaha rammed into a little boy

"Oh no!" she cried, short lived was her joy

Furaha, Orko and Optimus flew across the room

And fell on a yellow pony ride, ensuring it's doom

"I think an urge of dizziness surged through my head,"

Said Optimus, "Let's go get some fast food instead."

She Shows Me True Happiness

Lady Penelope's my teacher

And not just a loving mum

She shows me that it's okay

To look forward to things to come

She shows me tadpoles in the pond

Growing up into frogs

She shows me the playful, frisky lives

Of teacup puppydogs

She shows me all the little things

Some people just can't get

She shows me the joys of the rain

And the wonders of getting wet

No matter what I'm curious about

She answers every question I ask

Because finding instant happiness

Ain't no easy task

The Night Before Thunderbirds On BBC 2

While everyone on Children's BBC sleeps with anticipation in waiting for the return of Thunderbirds in September 2000, on the day, Lady Penelope and I enjoy a special day of bonding together, from shopping to going to a cafe to taking a rest in Penelope's favourite childhood meadow.

The Night Before The Bounce Place

Furaha, Orko and Optimus eagerly await the big day when they go to the Bounce Place. When the big day arrives, they bounce up and down on all the trampolines, but not before getting into a few scrapes with a little boy and a yellow carousel horse kiddie ride and going to the fast food restaurant for a well earned takeaway afterwards.

She Helps Me Find Happiness

A poem about how Lady Penelope guides me through nature and helps me see the natural world through her eyes.

Shansi's Dream (Story)

One fine day, Shansi was watching butterflies in the BBC Kids garden. One of them was coloured pink, and landed on Shansi’s long nose. She giggled. “I love butterflies, as much as I love my pet spider!” she said.

Look at the butterfly fly away, Shansi! Where did it go?

But Shansi just yawns, rubs her eyes, and heads to the tree. She slumps down onto her furry bottom and closes her eyes, drifting into the most wonderful dream…

And VIOLA! She’s now got beautiful pink butterfly wings. She flies in the sky with the other butterflies, over the BBC Kids garden, over the outskirts of Canada, and right over Wimbledon Common.

Great Uncle Bulgaria was shocked! “My god!” he cries, “Come out, young Wombles, and look at this!” The Wombles run out and see Shansi flying overhead. “Hello, Shansi!” they call out in unison, waving wildly. Even Alderney has made a flag to cheer on Shansi, who waves back from above.

She flies over Teletubbyland, where the Teletubbies emerge from their house and wave from down below. “Hello, Teletubbies!” calls Shansi. “Eh oh!” call the Teletubbies from down below.

She flies over Cuddles Avenue, where B1 and B2 are shocked to see her. Even the teddies run out of their house, excited that there is a Womble flying in the sky. “Hello!” they all call up to the flying, shy Womble. “Hello, everyone!” yells down Shansi, doing a cartwheel in the air. “Beautiful!” sigh Amy and Lulu, and both of them fall over in exhaustion.

She next flies over the Island Of Sodor, where Thomas and Percy were picking up passengers to take to Maithwaite Station. Suddenly, there was the noise of whooping from way up in the sky, and up above was Shansi! “Hooray!” called Thomas, “A flying Womble!” “Hello, Shansi!” calls up Percy. “Hello, Percy!” calls down Shansi, and flies away.

Finally, she flies over Byker Grove. Nicola, Charlie, Duncan, Ben and Jason are excited to see Shansi flying over the school playground and cheer loudly, waving wildly and calling up excitedly to her: “Hey!” and “Over here, Shansi!”

Shansi wished she could join them, and tried to take her wings off. But wait - they couldn’t go off! No matter how hard she tried to pull them off, the wings stayed stuck on her furry Womble back.

Suddenly, POP! The wings disappear, and Shansi falls towards a pile of manure on a farm….

And then wakes up back near the tree again. “Thank goodness,” she sighs, “It was only a dream. Butterflies never fall in a Wombles’ worst nightmare. Yuck - what could be better than smelly manure to fall into? Oh well, never mind, but…is it all a dream?”

Shansi wondered this to herself as she watched the sun go down. She tapped her chin and thought. “Is this all a dream, Mr Sunset?

Am I dreaming?

Am I even alive?”

Safe Near The Water

Deep in the forest all quiet and serene

Lady Penelope wandered, kind and keen

In the place where she's going I sat there alone

Staring at the water, nothing but skin and bone

When Penelope saw me, I instantly smiled

It's a long time since I saw her in a while

In fact, it must've been all day

She knew I was hungry and needed to play

She fed me a scrap, a piece of raw meat

And while she was grooming me, I tickled her feet

She laughed and I got my strength back laughing too,

Lady Penelope said, "It's just me and you."

And into the water the two of us went

The water was cool, not hot and hellbent

We hugged each other deep and strong

Knowing we were there all along

The Tender Debut Of Thunderbirds (Short Film Script)

FADE IN:

INT. QUIET CANADIAN COUNTRYSIDE. SUNRISE.

The whole place is silent and still, covered by a blanket of thick snow.

OPENING TITLE: “THE TENDER DEBUT OF THUNDERBIRDS”

TITLE FADE OUT:

SONG: “THUNDERBIRDS’ TENDER DEBUT”

A gentle, tender lullaby tune.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. LADY PENELOPE’S COTTAGE - BEDROOM. MORNING.

A pair of puppet arms move into frame and draw open the curtains, revealing tender sunlight in the room. REVEAL

LADY PENELOPE

Gazing out at the snowy meadow proudly. We hear her singing softly:

LADY PENELOPE

WHEN THUNDERBIRDS PREMIERED ON BBC KIDS
THE SKY WAS YELLOW AND PINK

DISSOLVE:

We see Lady Penelope sitting at her desk writing a letter to someone, though we don’t know who it is yet.

LADY PENELOPE
I WOKE UP TO THE SNOW FALLING OUTSIDE
AND IT GAVE ME MORE TIME TO THINK

DISSOLVE:

A PURPLE BACKGROUND WITH YELLOW STARS

We PAN ACROSS a line of smiling, familiar faces with stars in their eyes: the Teletubbies, Thomas The Tank Engine, Bill & Ben, Monty The Dog, the Tweenies, Binka, the Fourth Doctor (from Doctor Who), Alan, Brains, Tin Tin and the Animals Of Farthing Wood: Fox, Badger, Weasel and Mole.

LADY PENELOPE
TIME TO THINK OF ALL THESE SHOWS
WHETHER FOR OLD OR YOUNG

The characters fade out as 6 year old Sarah, Penelope’s daughter, appears, smiling at us warmly.

LADY PENELOPE

BUT MOST OF ALL, I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT YOU

AND HOW YOU ALWAYS WANT TO HAVE FUN

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. LADY PENELOPE’S COTTAGE - BEDROOM. MORNING.

As Lady Penelope is writing her letter, she hears excited giggling nearby. She looks over at where the giggling is coming from, and is surprised to see

SARAH

Jumping up and down on her bed. Lady Penelope walks up to her, holds out her arms and catches her just as she falls into her soft embrace. Both of them laugh happily.

DISSOLVE:

INT. LADY PENELOPE’S HOUSE - HALLWAY - MINUTES LATER.

Lady Penelope is getting her daughter dressed for a Winter’s day out - she’s wrapped up in a comfy bundle of Winter clothing, not too thick, fat or tight. She wraps a scarf around her neck as Parker gets his Winter boots on in the background.

At last, with everyone ready and in their Winter clothes, Parker opens the door and lets Lady Penelope and her daughter through.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. LADY PENELOPE’S HOUSE. DAY.

Parker sets off into town in Fab-1, with Lady Penelope and Sarah riding in the back.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. CANADIAN TOWN. DAY.

A peaceful, sleepy town shrouded in Winter snow, but lit up warmly by fairy lights strung from house to house. As Fab-1 drives across the streets, Lady Penelope and Sarah look up at the wonderful lights strung up above them, shining onto them. The song resumes:

LADY PENELOPE

THE STREETS WERE STRUNG WITH FAIRY LIGHTS
THE SNOW WAS SPARKLING LIKE NEW

INT. COSY CAFE - MINUTES LATER. DAY.

Lady Penelope, Parker and Sarah are sitting at a big, round table with the Teletubbies, the Fourth Doctor, Fox, Badger, Weasel, the Tweenies, Monty, William (from William’s Wish Wellingtons), Thomas, Percy, Sam and Max, waiting for their hot cocoa and chatting away. A friendly waiter brings them a tray of hot mugs of warm cocoa, each coloured like the person it’s being served to, and the show they star in.

LADY PENELOPE

THERE WERE MUGS OF HOT COCOA ON EACH TRAY,

AND MOST OF ALL, I HAD YOU

Everyone begins drinking their hot chocolate. The Teletubbies’ cocoa is pink because they drink Tubby Custard, while Fox and Badger lap up their own hot chocolate, animal like. Monty downs all his hot chocolate in one go, and…

MONTY

BUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRPPPP!!

Everyone laughs over his tremendous burp, to which Monty bows in response, as if finishing off a big show.

LADY PENELOPE & SARAH

Drink their hot cocoa and remove their mugs to reveal they have hot chocolate moustaches, which they lick off. They giggle, and nose-kiss gently.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. LADY PENELOPE’S HOUSE - BEDROOM. NIGHT.

Sarah, dressed in her cosy pyjamas, bounces on the bed she shares with Lady Penelope, laughing loudly. Lady Penelope enters the room and giggles at her daughter’s antics, and as she falls over onto her back, she giggles and shuffles under the covers. Lady Penelope tucks her in and kisses her on the cheek. Now, Lady Penelope’s offscreen singing almost feels like she’s about to cry:

LADY PENELOPE

MY EYES WOULD SPARKLE WITH TENDER TEARS
JUST TO THINK OF YOU

Lady Penelope settles into bed next to Sarah, switches off the light and falls fast asleep, safe and warm and tucked up beside her daughter.

LADY PENELOPE

FOR WHEN I THINK OF BBC KIDS,

YOU ALWAYS THINK OF ME TOO.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. LADY PENELOPE’S HOUSE - NIGHT.

Everything is now very quiet and peaceful.

LADY PENELOPE
FOR WHEN I THINK OF BBC KIDS,

YOU ALWAYS THINK OF ME TOO.

PAN UP:

THE NIGHT SKY

The dark craters on the full moon have formed the old BBC Kids logo.

FADE TO BLACK.

THE END.

The Biscuit Ballad - Short Film Script

FADE IN:

A BLURRED KITCHEN BACKGROUND

OPENING TITLE: “THE BISCUIT BALLAD”

Monty is heard CHOMPING and CHEWING, as a bite is taken out of one of the ellipsis points in one ‘I’ in the word ‘Biscuit’, which turns into a chocolate biscuit.

TITLE FADE OUT.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. BBC KIDS HEADQUARTERS - KITCHEN. DAY.

A beautiful red, yellow and blue kitchen. On the counter is a large biscuit tin with the BBC Kids logo on it. We hear: a door creaking as it slowly opens.

MONTY THE DOG

Opens the door slowly a crack and sees the biscuit tin. He tiptoes towards the kitchen counter and looks up at what’s above. He sees

ANGLE - THE BISCUIT TIN

Shining in the sunlight.

CLOSE - MONTY’S EYES

His pupils slowly turn into love hearts.

MONTY

Gets out a violin and begins playing, leading us to:

SONG: “THE BISCUIT BALLAD”

MATCH DISSOLVE:

A PINK BACKGROUND WITH RED LOVE HEARTS

As Monty plays his violin, he begins singing:

MONTY

OH BISCUITS, I LOVE YOU
YOUR SWEET CHOCOLATE TASTE

Monty throws his violin out of frame and floats towards a large heart shaped chocolate biscuit, floating around it like a lovestruck moon in orbit until taking a huge bite out of it.

MONTY

YOUR CHEWY CRUNCHY HEART

WON’T GO TO WASTE

FLASHBACK:

INT. SPROTT FAMILY KITCHEN - YEARS AGO. DAY.

The whole flashback is monochrome coloured. A cute, adorable puppy version of Monty sits at the table banging his cutlery, excitedly waiting for his meal - until the hand of Mrs Sprott enters frame with a bowl of nutritiously meaty dog food. Dog food? Yeurch! Monty is disgusted and pushes it away.

MONTY

SOME PEOPLE GIVE THEIR DOGS MEAT

BUT I DON’T LIKE THAT STUFF

POP! The flashback bursts into a puff of smoke, revealing again:

THE PINK BACKGROUND PATTERNED WITH RED LOVE HEARTS

Monty leaps across a stepping stone trail of chocolate biscuits, followed by Tango the dog (from Binka), Mole (from The Animals Of Farthing Wood), Boo the hedgehog (from Bill & Ben) and Flamingo (from Yoho Ahoy).

MONTY

I JUST LOVE YOU, CHOCOLATE BISCUITS,

AND THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS ENOUGH

The biscuits suddenly fall out of frame, and Tango, Mole, Boo and Flamingo fall out of frame.

CLOSE - MONTY’S EYES

Opening wide. He moves back to reveal himself against the background mentioned earlier, and he floats against the background trying to catch chocolate biscuits in a red beach bucket as they fall past frame, like a rainstorm. Monty catches some biscuits in his mouth, and the biscuits pile up inside his neck, cartoon-like, followed by Monty swallowing them down.

The rest of the instrumental is Mole, Tango, Boo and Flamingo dancing to the romantic tune, until, near to the end of it, pink cake cream floods the screen, leading us to the second verse:

MONTY

I ALSO LOVE CAKE, ITS CREAMY LAYER

Monty pops up in the creamy mess and licks all the cream off. He then licks some bits of cream off the screen, leading us to:

A LIVE ACTION CHOCOLATE CAKE BACKGROUND.

Monty glides past frame, chomping each and every cake slice, ala Pac-Man.

MONTY

AND ITS CHEWY, CHOCOLATEY YUM

Once the background is chewed up, it’s revealed to be a

FUTURISTIC NEON BLUE BACKGROUND

Six optional buttons appear on screen: one featuring a strawberry, one featuring a chocolate bar, one featuring a lemon, one featuring an orange, one featuring a slice of birthday cake and one featuring some cherries. Monty’s paw pops into frame and presses the birthday cake one, which takes up the entire screen.

MATCH DISSOLVE:

A YELLOW BACKGROUND

Confetti falls all around Monty as he wears a party hat and holds an entire vanilla flavoured birthday cake with white icing in his paws. He licks his lips and bites into the cake, causing vanilla icing to fly all over the screen.

MONTY

SOME CAKES COME IN ALL FLAVOURS

AND THEY’RE BETTER THAN CHEWING GUM

Monty licks the cream off the screen.

FLASHBACK:

INT. KITCHEN. DAY.

Puppy Monty waits eagerly for his dinner, until Mrs Sprott’s hand comes into frame with a bowl full of raw steak. He takes a bite out of it, and spits it out - YUCK!

MONTY

SOME PEOPLE GIVE THEIR DOGS MEAT

BUT I DON’T LIKE THAT STUFF

POP! The background explodes, and we see Monty playing his violin against the pink love heart background again, spinning slowly round and round, ala an anime boyfriend playing an instrument.

MONTY

I JUST LOVE YOU, CHOCOLATE BISCUITS,

AND THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS ENOUGH.

Monty throws the violin out of frame.

MATCH DISSOLVE:

INT. BBC KIDS HEADQUARTERS - KITCHEN. DAY.

Monty jumps up and grabs the biscuit tin. He opens the lid and sees a whole variety of cakes and biscuits inside, causing his mouth to water with delight.

MONTY

OH BBC KIDS BISCUIT TIN,

YOU’RE VERY SO HOT AND SWEET

AND RIGHT NOW, I WANT TO GRAB YOU

AND LOOK FOR SOMETHING TO EAT!

Monty takes a chocolate biscuit from the jar, and is just about to eat it when…

THE FOURTH DOCTOR

(O.S.)

Ahe-ahem!

Monty spins around to see

THE FOURTH DOCTOR

From Doctor Who, cooking some sausages in a frying pan on the stove.

THE FOURTH DOCTOR

I suppose you don’t want any dinner then, Monty. What a pity, because I have made some sausages for everyone today.

MONTY

Bring it on!

Monty places the biscuit tin back onto the counter and races up to the Fourth Doctor, who places a bowl full of well cooked sausages on the floor. Monty digs in, chuckling to himself heartily:

MONTY

Good old Fourth Doctor.

FADE TO BLACK.

THE END.