Orko's Weather Spell

Abracadabra,

Well I never,

I think these colours

Are perfect for the weather!

A Message From Captain Scarlet

Hello there, Captain Scarlet speaking. Recently, Fanderson wrote down that in 1968, my fans were treated to only nine minutes of my show before everyone controlling the TV empire went on strike. In my mind exactly, that wasn't true. Let me tell you all about it:

Well, Captain Black played a very brutal trick on those broadcasting my show by knocking down every single television pole in the country, and then he killed the people at the command console, turning them into Mysterons. Of course, Captain Blue and I were sent out on a mission to save ATV from such a dreadful so named 'strike' that happened to those who offered to air every adventure I've ever been on, but Captain Black had a much sinister plan up his jacket sleeve.

While Captain Blue and I were fighting off the Mysteron agents the ATV executives have become, Captain Black dragged me away into a basement where Destiny and the other Angels were being held captive. Then Black burst in and dragged Symphony away. While Black's back was turned, I knew this was my chance - I freed the Angels, called upon Captain Blue and we escaped just as the studio exploded into smithereens.

The good part? I didn't die.

A few months later, Symphony came to us and said she was experiencing a painful pregnancy - upon examination by Doctor Fawn, she learned she was having a Mysteron Pregnancy, and that she must be operated on immediately. I won't go into full detail about the operation, because it's too disgusting and revolting for sensitive blog readers.

The result? When Symphony woke up and her tummy was stitched back together, she realised she had given birth to...a baby alligator.

It probably explains why she felt sharp teeth inside her stomach snapping away at the walls inside it all the time.

Kermit's Swamp Years: The Lost Interview With Kermit

"Personally, everyone in the swamp felt like family to me - before this whole classic Muppet Movie incident started. My dad was my family, my mum, my brothers, my sisters, my cousins, even Lord Pondweed, the wisest frog in the swamp, all a family to me, and they all have the pride to play and have fun whenever they want. But what's the point? We don't like Disney anymore, not since they lost ideas and went to AI. Playing and having fun is what we're born to do, it makes us puppet frogs happy.

Erm....yay?

Oh. Yeah. No work today, that's the personal swamp motto!

Now I know it looks disgusting, but the way I see it, it's life before you hit the red carpet. If just one human can have the safer delusion that they're learning with Bear or The Hoobs, or blasting off into space with the Brats Of The Lost Nebula on Kids' WB, there's a-"

"Hey, Kermie! Kermie, what's with the interviewer, Slimeface?"

"She just follows me around, making a behind the scenes look at my Swamp Years or something..."

"Oooooooh!"

"Can I have a part?"

"Me too!/Sign me a waver!/We want a part in your movie, Kermit!"

"Tell me about it. You can't trust my bros. They call me useless before I became an actor with slime on my back. Alright, here we go. No no no no no, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh SH*****************!!!"

The creators of this satirical documentary would like to stress that they in no way wish to cause offence to any real life dead lab-tested frogs.

How I View Kermit's Swamp Years