Tuesday, 4 February 2025

The Night Before The Church Wander

We wandered the church, it was dull and grey

And there was no sign of the light of day

For off in the distance, we could hear voices singing

Almost immediately, the church bells were ringing


“It’s angels from Heaven,” Penelope told me.

“They’ve come to claim another lifeless steed.”

I looked over to the dead man and sure as light,

He was carried up to Heaven until his skin was white


I wept big tears and waved a silent goodbye

For it was what men experience when they die

Their skin turns pale and they grow huge wings

And go off to Heaven to do other nice things.

The Night Before My Grandparent's House

I looked around at the spare bedroom

It was warm and cosy and just enough room

Those Peter Rabbit sheets were there on the bed

With Peter lifting his little bunny head


I ran downstairs and sorted through my toys

A squeaky dog, a teddy and lots of other joys

My grandparents had a working VCR

And drove an old fashioned 1950’s car


I watched a Noddy tape on the TV

Then we made cupcakes, just Grandma and me

Grandma of course was an excellent cook

She could make cupcakes and anything from her book

The Cereal Box Prize

One fine morning in Summer, Furaha and Orko were at home enjoying breakfast. Orko was enjoying buttered toast with white bread, while Furaha was pouring her cereal. Suddenly, out of the box came something small and blue. “Oh look!” she cried. It was a small blue stegosaurus. “It’s that small blue stegosaurus you’ve always wanted to add to your Tiny Dinos collection, Furaha,” said Orko. “I knew I’d get another of those Tiny Dinos. I seem to have another one of those Tiny Dinos somewhere. I wonder where I put it?” “In the toybox?” asked Orko, taking another shadowed mouthful of toast. Furaha jumped into the toy chest and sorted through her toys. Bricks, boats and planes flew in all directions. “Nah, not here,” said Furaha. “The bed?” Furaha ran upstairs to look in her bed, but all she found was her teddy. “No, only Teddy's sleeping there. Dinosaurs don’t sleep in beds, you know. They sleep in leafy nests.” Orko began to leave the table and sort through all the colourful coffee mugs that Kiburi and Ua had left to dry near the sink.

Small Scenes - Apologising To John Because Of The EDF Energy Ad That Starred Him

“It was all very horrible. I would’ve known that day would’ve come if it weren’t for those EDF Energy patrons digging through the vaults and coming across one of the scenes where I starred. It wasn’t just the Thunderbirds that were featured in these commercials, oh no, loads of other characters were featured. With or without permission, they were used. The Wombles, Wall-E, Doctor Who and the Daleks, Bugs Bunny, Pingu, The Brave Little Toaster, Space 1999, The Saint….these adverts were a mockery to nostalgia. And you and Alan are the only people on Earth who can understand me. I’m just a puppet! And you, you’re a human being! I’ve never known human contact for all the years I spent in Thunderbird 5. Now that I’ve found you, I’ve the need for human contact right then and there. Which begs the question: what makes us human? What propels us into the skies above, to journey beyond the confines of our wonderful planet? Only you know the answer to the question scholars can’t answer.”

A Trip To McDonald's

At last, my support worker returned with the food. She ordered me to pull down the middle bit of the seat so I could put my drink in it. Once I did, she gave me a whole box full of chicken nugs and French fries. They looked so delicious, and tasted so tempting! That disturbing Listiverse article was still swimming around in my head like a skeletal seal swimming in toxic green acid, but I ignored it and started eating my chicken nuggets. All the while, instead I thought about the moment in The Lion King when Simba was introduced to the art of bug eating by his new friends Timon and Pumbaa, during the Hakuna Matata sequence in the film. “He comes, with a very pleasant crunch.” I crunched as I downed mouthfuls of the chicken nuggets that came with my meal. Then I took an interest in the French fries and downed every morsel I could get my mucky paws on. “Slow down, mate,” said Kangaroo Jack, “Save some for me!” So I lent Jack some, and boy were they delicious to a kangaroo’s taste. “Still, uh….where’s the brownie?”

Aunt Twilight

Twilight gently tucked Baby Flurry Heart into bed and asked, “Do you want to hear a bedtime story?” “Yay!” cheered Flurry, and clapped her hooves excitedly. “Okay, let me search for a snoozy goodnight story.” Twilight searched through her brother’s vast library of books. She had to avoid a book called ‘The Blue Tarantula’, because Shining Armour read it as an older foal and didn’t want to upset his daughter, so instead, Twilight chose a book of fairy tales.

📖

Twilight opened the book and began to read:

“Once upon a time, there were three little ponies. Cymbal Crash, Quiet Cone and Ingenuity. They were homeless and never had any place to go, so one day they decided to build houses for themselves. Cymbal Crash built his house out of masses of straw from the farm. Quiet Cone built her house out of ice cream cones and sundaes.”

🦄🍨

The Night Before Stripy Bonza Day

Kangaroo Jack woke up very excited

And even Augie himself seemed delighted

He squeezed tight and clear into his Stripy Bonza

Hopped in the car and then, he was a-gonna

🩱🚗

At Innoflate, he and Augie took the lift

And they were in the inflatable park in a jiff

Jack bounced with the toddlers, who clapped and cheered

As he showed off his moves, which were amazing as appeared

👏

He challenged the toddlers to a race

Jack was good at it, he was an ace

One toddler named Ben crossed the finish line first

But Jack was feeling hunger and thirst.

🍔🍟

10 Things Lady Penelope, Tin Tin & I Can Do During 'Log Cabin Hot Tub'

  1. Wear cuddly dressing gowns
  2. Relax in a hot tub
  3. Drink hot cocoa
  4. Sleep in comfy, crisp white beds
  5. Share cuddles
  6. Hugs
  7. Enjoy bountiful meals
  8. Relax
  9. Get luxurious haircuts
  10. Spend time together

Kangaroo Jack's 10 Favourite Things

  1. Stripy Bonzas
  2. Innoflate
  3. His human friend Augie
  4. Chicken McNuggets
  5. French fries
  6. Brownies
  7. McDonald's cups filled with Coke
  8. Dark, grey car parks
  9. Telling spooky stories round the campfire
  10. Australia