10 Replacements For The Cause Of Tense Behaviour, Christopher Robin

 Space 1999

Fireball XL5

Thunderbirds

Stingray

Brum

Captain Scarlet

Live The Life You Want Journal - An Idea

When the world feels like a cruel trap and you want to retreat to a safe space, get out a brightly or softly coloured notebook and write down your entry in your dream life - a diary you can keep when the world is bringing you closer to a death sentence. Maybe you can write about living in Joke A Lot, or aboard Spectrum Cloudbase, or travelling with Ash, Brock, Misty and Pikachu, or even living on Tracy Island!

Where will your escapism journal take you today? Mine takes me right to Tracy Island, where I feel right at home.

10 Ways To Play The Left Right Story Game

1.Pretend to play on a Google Docs page with a favourite character of your choice.

2 people: Furaha and Orko

3 people: Furaha, Orko and Optimus.

4 people: Alan, Brains, Tin Tin and Jeff Tracy.

5 people: Minty, Sunny Daze, Pinkie Pie, Sparkleworks, Cotton Candy

6 people: Funshine, Tenderheart, Cheer, Share, Grumpy, Good Luck

7 people: Rainbow Dash, Toola Roola, Starsong, Cheerilee, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Pinkie Pie

8 people: Josh, Laura, Berto, Venus, Steve Zodiac, Robert The Robot, Mitch The Monkey, Marina

9 people: Captain Scarlet, Captain Blue, Captain Magenta, Destiny, Symphony, Harmony, Rhapsody, Melody, Colonel White

10 people: Brogan, Castle, Haldane, Romek, Orrin, Beezle, Podley, Slomo, Took, Liz

Captain Scarlet: The Vault: The Dolly Dressing Book Theme

I'm sorry, but when you see an Angel pilot in swimwear, this song has to burst out from Spectrum's speakers...

10 Things From T T Retro To Watch To Achieve Your Archie Stamp

In case you didn't know, Archie is the cute pug I've met at T T Retro yesterday. He's so cuddly and friendly, and loves sniffing at customers' feet!

1.Thunderbirds

2.Stingray

3.Captain Scarlet

4.Doctor Who (vintage stories)

5.BBC Narnia

6.Rocko's Modern Life

7.Buck Rogers

8.Top Cat

9.Andy Pandy (VHS)

10.My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic

The Best Day Ever - At Least, That's What Everypony Says...

Prepare yourself for the greatest discovery ever made by a human being in the history of ponykind...ever!

I went into T T Retro once again, and I got such a surprise! Just as I was about to get Poison Ivy, my chosen comic for today, I saw something sparkly, glittery, beautiful on the shelves. Not just sparkly, heroic, majestic and natural. What was on the shelves? Guess.

Hmmmm...it's a bit of a trick question because these items on the shelves have huger fandoms than I expected.

Exactly, you nailed it!

My Little Pony, Thunderbirds, Stingray, Captain Scarlet, Toy Story and The Lion King were all stocked up on T T Retro's DVD shelves. And I was so excited by what I saw, I had to take pictures of 'em all! So, I believe AMFOPs come here too, and T T Retro can bring in all the bronies in the world. Don't believe me? Watch this.

The Mysterons Are Offensive To The Public!

Triple Jackpot!

OH MY GOD! You won't believe what I have been up to with my support worker yesterday, and it was as much of a hoot as the stories in my currently-finished book, Horrid Henry's Food Fight. Let me share them all with you. You'll thank me later once you realise this is an advert for T T Retro...

Okay, so, first I went to Boots and I wanted to get one of those limited edition Dove x Bridgerton body washes. But Sundae called out to me most, and since it was my birthday this week, I got birthday cake. Speaking of which, when I went with my other, slightly confused support worker a few days ago, I got not one but three things - Boots' own moisturising cream, Nala's Baby Body Lotion and My Little Coco Pillow Mist.

Now listen here, you lot - if you're absolutely tired of the Johnson's Bedtime Routine, try this for size:

1.First, use Nala's Body Lotion on your arms.

2.Brush your teeth,

3.Wash your face,

4.Apply My Little Coco pillow mist...

5.And finally, read from one of your books or comics.

Sounds good? Five steps are better than three, and as a wise man with a jingle bell hat always says:

"It's always better to have too much than too little."

And now for the moment you've been waiting for, all your live long days.

Actually, it's two, so don't get 'two' excited.

Geddit? Ha!

First off, I went to T T Retro and got a completely different purchase - three, to be exact. It started off quite innocently enough, with the purchase of a lovely comic about forgotten Marvel character Howard The Duck, with small adverts for trinkets and toys the size of your thumbnail on some pages, but then, the biggest surprise came when the kindly owner presented...

TWO ANNUALS! But they weren't any ordinary annuals. They didn't use live actors. They didn't use CGI either. What did they use?

ALAN/BRAINS/TIN TIN/KIPPER/BRUM: Puppets!

Of course, the annuals were named Thunderbirds/Captain Scarlet and Lady Penelope. The biggest surprise waited for me when I got home, but in case of spoilers, I'll save it 'til the end.

Next on the menu was a tour around the charity shop - there were so many forgotten treasures for sale, everything was white and green like a tennis court had been there before! I went to the children's section, and at first I wanted to buy a Harry & The Dinosaurs book, but realising I had a sharp eye for book texture, I bought Ripley's Believe Or Not instead - a much better and interesting purchase since Mum had read Harry to me multiple times as a little girl.

And since McGinty's was closed, where did we go? To the food truck, and I was being a bit cheeky with the purchases, because I ordered a cheeseburger and a Diet Coke can. While eating my 100% delicious cheeseburger, I found that reading Howard The Duck and doing a Donald Duck voice for him can get a bit tiring.

And...I crashed out.

But it's okay if I didn't give away the surprise, because the best surprises wait in reviews of books on GoodReads. Go check them out if you can!

Party Palzooa Day 16: Good News, Everyone!

Where The Heart Is

"Wow!"

"Oooh!"

"Look at that!"

Pretty unique, huh? Yesterday has to be the best and most exhausting day of my life, not since I saw those Supermarionation series on Talking Pictures TV. The day started with a surprise - to be honest, the day was full of surprises. At the chemist, I got two new toothbrushes without telling my support worker. I also stayed calm when there was a baby and a toddler in there. Vic - I mean, er, POO PANTS!

Then I surprised my support worker yet again by asking her to take me to Tesco and get me some sausage rolls, Pom Bears, chocolate milk, body wash and - wait for it - BLUEY CUPCAKE MIX, for lunch! I can't eat the cupcake mix and the body wash together, but it emits chemicals, but the Cussons body wash I got might have something to do with a certain Nutbrown Hare duo...

And then, after our picnic...

Get ready, this is the best bit...

AMAZING! I went to T T Retro! It had absolutely everything in there, from comics to action figures to VHS tapes like the ones you're seeing above, it had absolutely every single character you could ever dream of! Captain Scarlet, Thunderbirds, Power Rangers, The Lion King, Pokemon, Toy Story, Doctor Who, Stingray, Andy Pandy, Joe 90, Fireball XL5, Digimon, Stitch, almost EVERYTHING WAS THERE! I couldn't contain my excitement when I went in, for I knew that was the exact place where my heart belonged. I was so excited, and the shop owners were so friendly, I wanted to stay there for years and years and years! I wanted to buy almost everything in there! My favourites were:

The Andy Pandy VHS tape

The Simba plush

The Oliver the kitten plush

The Harry Potter Gryffindor lion plush

And ALL THOSE COMICS!!

And then, to make our day even better, I lead Sally to the sweet shop which was down the road towards Rumbly Town.

It was named Mama Gail's, and it was like we stepped into another world! My bladder was heaving with excitement, and I picked sweets of my choice. The shop owners were just as friendly as the ones in T T Retro, which was also the best place in the world, and guess what?

Their sweet shop won so many awards! Wow! Mind you, if I were to get an award for one blog, it would be ScreamBlue.

But the sad footnote?

I experience Gut-Brain Axis. My head hurt, my tummy churned and it felt like I needed to pee, so when I got home I went to the toilet, took some paracetamol and had a nice little sleep.

And thus, my head was out of ideas.

And now, here's T T Retro's new theme song, as chosen by moi:

My Reaction To The New Captain Scarlet Box Set

JAMIE: Ladies and gentlemen, I present: New Captain Scarlet. In a packed new box set, with newly designed postcards of Captain Scarlet wearing only his underwear!

CHRIS: Oh my this is revolutionary! Marvellous!

ME: OH MY GOD! They got a new Gerry Anderson series re-release. I MUST! HUG!

DESTINY ANGEL!

Gerry Anderson? Aw YES!

Spectrum Is Weird - A Story About Detoxing

All Summer, everything had been totally weird. My mummy Lady Penelope and her butler Parker have gone off to visit some friends in Paris for an entire month, and they had let Destiny Angel and Symphony Angel stay with me to babysit and keep me company. I didn’t mind them in the house while my mummy was gone, they always helped me along the same way my mummy did.

Recently, about last month, mummy helped me develop a healthy habit where I turned everything off at lunch and engaged in other screen free things - and that’s what Destiny, Symphony and I enjoyed doing in the last few weeks of this month. August.

At 12 today, I put all the electronics away and turned everything off. I went into the bathroom and dabbed my eyes with a cold wet cotton pad. With each time I held the pad to my throbbing eyes, I counted slowly all the way up to 10.

“1….2…3….4…5…6…7…8…9…10.”

And then, once I left the bathroom, I went to have myself a light snack in the dining area - ready salted crisps, a plate of Bourbon biscuits and a mug of Coke Zero. Destiny and Symphony were already having turkey with mash and vegetables for lunch courtesy of Lil, who I was glad was still back in the kitchen to provide the meals. My eyes were almost this close to slamming shut, but it was okay, Symphony said it was good for my eyes to stay off screens after six hours.

After lunch, we relaxed for a little while. I snuggled into Symphony’s bosom while she cuddled me and told me how proud she was of me for putting away my technology. I was just about to close my eyes and fall asleep near Symphony’s warmth when the clock slowly went ding….ding…ding. A-ha! Must be time to clean out the full cupboard.

Destiny and Symphony had a fun time sorting out what we wanted and what we didn’t want. We placed all the things we wanted into a large pink box, and all the things we didn’t want into another box. Everything I wanted nearby, I placed into my room. I was lucky Destiny found some pens, because I took some plastic cups from the dining room cupboard and placed all of them in.

Then I discovered two sticker activity books and raced back to the dining room to complete them. Some of which I already did, others - well, let’s just say they are left unfinished. Destiny and Symphony were taking tea in the lounge. They didn’t even hear my loud giggles of excitement from staring at a screen for far too long.

“She’s so quiet, we’ve almost forgotten she’s actually here.” smiled Destiny.

“She must really be enjoying her puzzle books - must do her good to get back into physical activities.” smiled Symphony.

Just then, the doorbell rang. Destiny went to answer it. It was Mailman Moe, with a parcel, a postcard and two letters.

“Package and postcard for Miss Sybil, and one special golden letter for Destiny and Symphony Angel,” he smiled.

“Thank you,” said Symphony as he handed the parcels to her.

As soon as Mailman Moe left, Symphony went into the dining room and called: “Sybil! You got mail!”

I jumped up and grabbed the package and postcard from Symphony’s hands, full of excitement at what it could be.

I could almost recognise Mailman Moe’s blueberry scent from how his hands held the package and the postcard before he even handed them to Symphony in the first place. First, I gently opened the parcel. It can’t be! It was a pathfinder-a-day puzzle book. “Thanks, Mailman Moe!” I cried, as if thanking Santa on Christmas morning, and as if Moe were actually here. I then looked at the postcard. A glossy, chique pink picture of a beautiful painting of the Eiffel Tower shone proudly on the front of the postcard, smelling sweetly of roses. I then looked at the back of the postcard. What I read made my heart melt in joy.

“Darling,

I am having a wonderful time in Paris. I do hope you’re doing okay with Destiny and Symphony. I hope they’re taking good care of you. Wish me luck, darling.

Love,

Your beautiful mummy,

Lady Penelope

XXXXOOOO”

Almost immediately, tears filled my eyes. I smiled a gentle yet wobbly smile, and whispered: “Wish me luck, mummy.”

Meanwhile in the lounge, Destiny opened the golden envelope with Symphony’s help. It was from Talking Pictures TV, and it shone brightly in the light of the setting sun outside as Symphony read:

“Dear Destiny and Symphony,

In the last few days you both did a jolly good job looking after our most loyal viewer, Sybil, during the first three days of her digital detox. Since she has sworn to stay off screens every time it reaches 12 O’clock at lunch, it is very important that some of our viewers need a break from the screen too.

So, as a reward, you and the rest of Spectrum have been invited to air your old adventures on our channel again. Won’t say no more here. Tell you on Saturday.

Many thanks,

Mike, Noel, Sarah and Bob.”

At once, excitement building up in her chest, Destiny squealed like a hormonally excited teenager and threw herself into Symphony’s arms, delighted with the news.

“I know, it’s exciting isn’t it?” asked Symphony, stroking Destiny’s silky blonde hair.

“Mmmm, I know, but Talking Pictures TV wasn’t complete without Captain Scarlet. And now, it is.” responded Destiny Angel.

From the dining room, they could hear me singing: “Daaa-da-da da-daaaa-da-da da-da-da-da-da!” I was doing a pathfinder in my puzzle book themed around The Simpsons.

“Just doing a Simpsons Pathfinder in my puzzle book!” I called from the dining room. Destiny and Symphony laughed. They loved my sense of humor just as much as mummy, Parker and everyone else in the mansion did.

At 8 at night, I put on my jumper and trousers and went with the two Spectrum Angels for a walk in the mansion gardens. Along the way, we happened to meet my friend Brum. He offered to join the walk too, but he got very scared when he saw a big huge red thing pass by in the distance. “A big monster covered in flesh!” he cried, but I chuckled and said, “Nonsense, Brum, it’s just a van in the distance.”

While on our walk, I talked with Brum about what the F word meant to him. Surprisingly, to Brum, it didn’t mean swearing at all, but due to him being an analog of a three year old boy, he told me it meant going to a restaurant of fried chicken. I asked my two Angel friends if we could go to KFC in the big city tomorrow, and when they said yes, Brum did a victory chuckle and tried to high five me, but couldn’t because he had wheels.

After saying goodbye to Brum, I went back inside to warm up by the fire. I had already changed back into my pyjamas, and I snuggled close to Destiny Angel, feeling very tired. 

“Thank you for putting us on Talking Pictures TV,” sighed Destiny Angel softly. “It wouldn’t be possible without your three days of detox.”

“My pleasure,” I smiled. “If you want, we can host a viewing party with the rest of Spectrum on Sat-ooh!”

Destiny and Symphony sat up in surprise. I was feeling my tummy tighten, and I was getting very cold.

“Girls, I feel like I’m so cold I’m going to be sick,” I groaned softly.

“Dear me,” sighed Symphony, “I think it’s time we put you to bed.”

After cleaning my teeth in the mansion bathroom, I stumbled into the bedroom and tumbled under the sheets, exhausted as anything. Destiny and Symphony did the same, except afterwards they got changed into their pyjamas, laid some extra blankets on the bed and prepared a nice, soft hot water bottle to lay at my feet.

Then they snuggled into bed together, with me in between. It felt so cosy - being between the two Angels was like being tucked into bed in Heaven. My eyes were already starting to feel a bit tired, so Destiny Angel turned out the light and whispered: “Goodnight, girls.”

“Goodnight,” whispered Symphony.

“Goodnight, you two.” I whispered back.

The two gave me a unified kiss on the cheek, causing me to giggle weakly, and then, with a smile and thoughts in our heads filled with an afternoon filled with friendship, good food and helping others, we fell fast asleep under the softness and what is Lady Penelope’s bed.

THE END.

Facts To Help My Support Worker Know About New Captain Scarlet

1.NCS was made with a mix of CGI and motion capture animation

2.Captaun Scarlet had a shoddy airing spot on the Ministry Of Mayhem on CITV, making it the show's 'Butt Monkey's cartoon

3.My favourite characters are Destiny Angel, Captain Black and Captain Scarlet himself.

4.Everyone was changed round for the show: Destiny Angel's French accent was gone, and Lt. Green had undergone a gender swap from a man to a woman.

5.The battle sequences during each episode had shorter shots, making NCS overstimulating, but awarding and enjoyable to watch.

A Protest Poem To Space Age Films, By Destiny Angel

You can't make Merry Christmas Earthlings

Into full on CGI

Make the film with puppets instead,

Or else us Angels will cry!

A Poem About Lunch Peace, By Captain Magenta

When the dog disturbs you

When you're trying to have your lunch,

It's important you look after yourself

And find someplace else to munch

A Poem About Butterflies, By Destiny Angel

Destiny and Symphony, unclothed in Paradise,

Sat with me one day

We lay down and watched butterflies flutter

On the gentle breezed their wings swayed

It's Sci-Fi Time!

When I See My Matriarchal Leader Taking After The Junk Ads On Talking Pictures TV...

A Supermarionation Beauty Talk

You see the video you're watching right now? This is a movie trailer for a cel-shaded Korean animated movie named Beauty Water, a cautionary tale about the horrors of appearance and body image.

I have to admit that this movie is offensive to anyone who is body-shamed, so to all of you who's ever been offended by this film or any scenes in Peppa Pig which include fat shaming, I understand that you must turn away from these series at all costs, and turn to series which promote positive body image and appearance, namely DK's 'A Kids' Book About...' series, which focuses on serious issues like all this and more dedicated to the wellbeing of kids in the country where the publishing house is set up.

But now, I'm going to touch upon a point where everything goes to click: Gerry Anderson and his puppet shows. Shows like Supercar, Fireball XL5, Stingray, Thunderbirds, Captain Scarlet and Joe 90 all prove, I'm sad to say, that in order to find real beauty within yourself, you need to have strings attached to you - by all the strings the characters are attached to, I meant cosmetic surgery, heavy exercise and amounts of stingy face cream.

But one show, The Secret Service, switches from puppets to real life sometimes, which proves that in order to embrace your appearance and your body, you must release yourself from the strings you're attached to.

So while we love all of Gerry Anderson's puppet shows for the timeless classics they are today, it goes to prove that we all have to cut those strings that are controlling us off and be happy with how we are modelled and shaped to be today, whether big and huge or thin and healthy.

Real beauty is go!