10 Ways I Acknowledge My Internal Thoughts Without Fighting Them

1. "Yeah, yeah, yeah everyone from primary school, I hear you."
2. "Thanks, Angelina, for making my life as beautiful as it is. My CBT weeks are done, so even though I can't watch you post-CBT, I won't forget you."
3. "Tiny, Sporty, thank you for being able to help me feel creative and organise problem solving situations like I found out today."
4. "Thank you, HIT. Your Children's Favourites DVDs were a part of my childhood, especially the Kipper episodes featured."
5. "Thank you, Disney Videos, for gentle promos that involve the fun bits of the film instead of the harmful ones to appeal to kids."
6. "Thank you, everyone from secondary school, for making me more than someone who must achieve my dream."
7. "Winnie The Pooh, I believe you are still stream of conciousness and breathe-worthy to this day. Thanks for making films based on Tigger, Piglet, Roo and Lumpy."
8. "Tigger, you might inspire me to make my own family tree someday. The biggest ever, I should say."
9. "Piglet, I think you have secretly inspired me to do my own books, jars, tickets and coupons based on happy memories."
10. "Thank you, CBBC, for helping me at the beginning and end of my secondary school years. Your shows Strange Hill High and Scream Street were an enormous help and source of comfort to me."

When I See My Matriarchal Leader Taking After The Junk Ads On Talking Pictures TV...

A Supermarionation Beauty Talk

You see the video you're watching right now? This is a movie trailer for a cel-shaded Korean animated movie named Beauty Water, a cautionary tale about the horrors of appearance and body image.

I have to admit that this movie is offensive to anyone who is body-shamed, so to all of you who's ever been offended by this film or any scenes in Peppa Pig which include fat shaming, I understand that you must turn away from these series at all costs, and turn to series which promote positive body image and appearance, namely DK's 'A Kids' Book About...' series, which focuses on serious issues like all this and more dedicated to the wellbeing of kids in the country where the publishing house is set up.

But now, I'm going to touch upon a point where everything goes to click: Gerry Anderson and his puppet shows. Shows like Supercar, Fireball XL5, Stingray, Thunderbirds, Captain Scarlet and Joe 90 all prove, I'm sad to say, that in order to find real beauty within yourself, you need to have strings attached to you - by all the strings the characters are attached to, I meant cosmetic surgery, heavy exercise and amounts of stingy face cream.

But one show, The Secret Service, switches from puppets to real life sometimes, which proves that in order to embrace your appearance and your body, you must release yourself from the strings you're attached to.

So while we love all of Gerry Anderson's puppet shows for the timeless classics they are today, it goes to prove that we all have to cut those strings that are controlling us off and be happy with how we are modelled and shaped to be today, whether big and huge or thin and healthy.

Real beauty is go!

The True Intro To Shark Tale & Wish...

When I Think About How Overstimulating Dreamworks' Home Is...

When I Think About Rise Of The Guardians On Prime Video...

Don't Buy This Disgusting Nature Book!!!!

Timelines Of Nature: The Most Disgusting Book DK Ever Produced

So yesterday I had shouted too much and needed some time in my room, so after five minutes, and while the rest of the troop were out, I went back out again to find the most astonishing sight. Had my matriarchal leader bought another copy of Timelines Of Everything? Ah ah ah, she had bought something entirely different: Timelines Of Nature. Knowing it will contain soothing pictures of nature I ran into the living room and took a peek.

But what I saw next will shock the life out of you and run screaming from the room you have a computer in. Reader discretion is advised:

MOUSE CORPSES!

*Bluey screaming*

EATEN BY WASPS AND OTHER INSECTS!

K9: No! What a gross suggestion!

AND REAL LIFE SCARY INSECT PICTURES!

KYLE: Ah! Gross!

So, on behalf of my tastes and suggestive preferences, I must tell you that if the BAFTAs or Oscars were to hand out an award for the most disgusting book ever produced, DK would probably get that title before anyone else got it.

Luckily, I did find some solutions to this horribly published and drawn book: My Incredible World, a nice picture book series that features less gross pictures and facts aimed at people who are sensitively soft, like me. Also, there are other books from DK that don't feature gross content or pictures like that god-forsaken book.

So if you are to ever encounter a book like this, I suggest you throw it on a bonfire in the garden and watch as it blows up before your eyes. If you don't, then it along with Toonami's god-forsaken anime Uzumaki will keep you up at night forever with chills and night sickness until you become weak from vomiting.

DK, ARE YOU READING THIS?!

My Reaction To Kipper Being On Sky Kids