Queen's Rule #4: Children's Favourites

From this day, hence Mattel will re-release classic Children's Favourites DVDs, but with a few things swapped around. Christmas Children's Favourites would leave out Angelina Ballerina, replace her with a Winter-themed episode of Little Bear and change Brambly Hedge's Winter Story to The Secret Staircase. Ultimate Children's Favourites will now replace Angelina Ballerina, Bob The Builder, Rubbadubbers and Pingu with Brambly Hedge, Percy The Park Keeper, Titch and Bertha. Playtime Children's Favourites will replace Bob The Builder, Angelina Ballerina (yeah, that horrible time when Henry was verbally messed up by Angelina during her trip to the fair) and Rubbadubbers (yeah, parents have had it with the whole 'Spin around twice and straighten your stupid tie' thing!) with Little Robots, Fifi & The Flowertots and The Book Of Pooh.

And as for Brightest Children's Favourites? They'll replace all the noisy and overwhelming episodes with quieter episodes with no screaming, shouting or yelling, making it 'Bright & Quiet Children's Favourites'.

HAPPY NOW, ARNOLD?!

Queen's Rule #3: Nick Jr

Nick Jr will no longer air Paw Patrol and Peppa Pig, and instead air original, beautifully crafted shows using no CGI at all, with such effects including puppets, live-action, stop motion and of course hand drawn animation.

Queen's Rule #2: Writing Different

Anyone like me who dares think about storywriting when they're off it will be given a message on their phones saying: "YOU MUST NOT WORRY!" and instead do the following activities: drawing, colouring, sticker books, AgeRe, Pinterest posts, journalling, creative journalling and making playlists.

Queen's Rule #1: Teachers & Brownies

All schools around the world will be shut down permanently, including Dornoch Academy, and from this day all children will be homeschooled! All teachers are sent to work making outback brownies in UK-set-up Australian cafes all across the country, and any teacher who dares cause everyone to engage in annoying, irritating banter will be dunked into a pool of cheesy custard! Ha! Serves you right!