The Stingray Crew On...Sickness & Feeling Low

ATLANTA: What seems to be wrong with our friend?

TROY: She's feeling a bit low, which means she's never going to create again.

COMMANDER SHORE: Great Neptune! Then that means...she won't be seeing any of us string puppets again!

PHONES: That's awful!

TROY: Look, even Marina's getting upset. She's never going to see her all time favourite best friend ever again!

*Oink makes his funny noises*

TROY: Well, at least she's got Oink for company.

COMMANDER SHORE: Well, something has to be done. Our Christmas episode aired on Saturday Morning Pictures this morning, which means there will be a light in the darkness that is a feeling of low-light.

TROY/PHONES/ATLANTA: What is the feeling of low light, and what does it mean?

COMMANDER SHORE: Do I have to? Okay, okay, well, according to the residents of Balamory, after you've been sick, your brain goes grey, your creativity moves to Paris for the day and blood will leak out of your eyes.

ATLANTA: *gasps* OH MY GOD! Father, don't you dare say that! There's children reading this!

*Marina vomits out seaweed*

TROY: It's not helping!

*All the Stingray crew scream in terror*

Together We'll Lower The Ratings!

It's gone.

It's really gone.

Thunderbirds are gone! *howls in despair*

You see, I wanted to see if there are any Thunderbirds episodes on Talking Pictures TV the weekend after the weekend it airs, and I got a nasty shock. No, Brains hasn't messed up my essay about why Talking Pictures TV is the best, oh no. It's that Thunderbirds, has been replaced, by a STUPID CHILDREN'S FILM! I don't know what those maniacs at Talking Pictures TV were thinking, but somehow Sarah got hit in the head by a coconut and didn't want Thunderbirds on the schedule because it was too gritty for children watching this strand.

So, Talking Pictures TV, if you're reading this, please know that I am sick and tired of watching you, especially on Saturday mornings now. You treat Thunderbirds as if it were an uneaten box of chocolates, not touched for a million years - perhaps 60, if you count the years Thunderbirds had aired on our screens. Eurgh, I hate to imagine how a 60 year old box of chocolates would taste like. From now on, I'm watching Disney+ and Rewind TV.

I was really looking forward to watching Thunderbirds as part of Saturday Morning Pictures, but when you announced yet another stinky film from that lousy Children's Film Foundation, I am utterly disappointed and shocked. Why would you do this, Talking Pictures TV? I HATE YOU!

You hear me?!

I HATE YOU! I HATE YOUR FILMS AS WELL! SO DO BRAINS, ALAN, TIN TIN, LADY PENELOPE, JEFF TRACY AND PARKER! It was supposed to be Thunderbirds' 60th anniversary this year, and because you replaced it with a lousy and boring Children's Film Foundation picture, all you will be hearing from the children watching is booing and hissing.

I expected better from you, and YOU, HAVE, FAILED ME!!!!!

THIS IS YOUR FAULT!

GOODBYE FOREVER!

Hate,

Sybil