Saturday, 16 July 2022
Clean Boy Scout Jokes
Campfire Confessions
Luke, Resus, Cleo, Luella, Six, Bluey, Bingo, Rusty, Jack and I are going camping in the woods. It is a dark, beautiful night and we are all sitting together around a campfire eating sausage rolls and sitting in the warm, glad to be in each other’s company. “Isn’t it great out there?” I said, “No walls, just trees.” “Mmmmm, I feel the same way as you do too, Sybil,” said Six, “It feels like home.” “Home is where the heart is, that’s what they say, and if they say it, I’m saying it too,” said Cleo. “But your heart is in a box, at home on a shelf! In a cupboard where no one can steal it.” I pointed out. “Why did I forget?” sighed Cleo, and we all laughed.
But Jack laughed so much his sausage roll got stuck down his throat. “Don’t worry, Jack, I’ll help!” cried Rusty. He banged his best friend on the back, until the sausage roll flew out into the fire. “Hooray!” we all cheered. “Good one, Rusty,” said Luke. “Thanks,” “Rusty replied. “I never knew you could force food out of people like that. Hey, I remember one time I stuck two celery sticks up my nose.” “Oh yeah? Well I accidentally used the ketchup from my meal out with my family as make-up,” responded Rusty. “And?” “I nearly got into trouble. In fact, we were nearly banned from the restaurant for bad manners.” Luella was starting to gag a little. “Oh wow, great confession,” said Resus, applauding sarcastically.
“This ketchup thing is, like, putting me off my food.” said Luella. “Not if it squirts out of a hot dog, and then morphs into a disgusting gross monster with snot dribbling out of it!” Luella flinched and screamed, while everyone cracked up laughing. “Good one, Sybil,” said Cleo. “Yeah, you really told a scary story just then.” laughed Bluey. “I’m never eating ketchup again! I don’t want to hear anymore!” cried Luella. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop. Right, okay, any more things to say?” Resus was the first to speak. “I used my mum’s blood perfume once.” he said sheepishly. Everyone began to gasp and shout jokingly. “You didn’t!” cried Bingo. “I did! It was to smell sweet so I can impress my dark angel…” Luella giggled. “Seriously though, I’m not supposed to like blood.” “We stole Dad’s sandwich while he was taking a nap,” said Bingo. “Lemme guess - it inspired Octopus.” “A lesson based on this game. Millions of children across Australia took part in their very own Octopus game!” “It’s only a game, there’s no way a game can spawn such a complicated yet fun home education thingy.”