Things Are Gonna Change....

Guys, from now on you are going to experience a change in how I write.

"BUT HOW?" I hear you cry.

Well, I've started trading stories for essays, journals and diaries about my so called stories, which are now fantasies. And, according to my good friend RJK Adams, diaries, journals and essays are a good way to write about characters without copyright issues.

Not even Disney can get their mitts on these papers.

So you see, I'm blossoming! I've learnt not to give up, and you shouldn't give up too!

The Gumdrops Changed My Life: A Lifetime Original Movie

Okay, so it's not an original movie, but since I got The Gumdrops: Quest For Bravery yesterday in the post, things have been completely different for me. Thanks to the interactive elements of the book, and the creative art and writing skills of Ms Elissa Elwick, these extremely exciting and surprise-filled ripoffs of the Teletubbies are...not ripoffs at all, but rather something you'd rather find in a GMTV Kids preschool show.

Without them, my creativity wouldn't have expanded, and by helping them and their flying red bear storyteller friend on their quest to make an imaginary friend for their human friend Daisy, there's loads of endless possibilities for every time you read again.

So without further to do, here are ten ways The Gumdrops have helped me expand my creativity:

1.I used my imagination skills to help them. I helped them through every step of their journey, like Nick Jr viewers help Dora and Boots on their adventures. My favourite part of the book was imagining what the scary shadows are - a rainbow lizard, a dinosaur and a sleepy cave boy, Mildred Hubble, you name it, it's here.

2.The world is fun to explore. Wow! Look at how beautiful Yummy Gummy Land is! Every time you come back for a five minute stress break, use the book to boost your imagination skills: for they, yes they, are the key to taking away your fog.

3.It sharpens creativity. Unlike other Little Tiger books, which are all told in cosy cottagecore rhyme, this graphic novel mixes a programme you'd find with either Ragdoll, Nick Jr or GMTV Kids' preschool strand as it uses reader participation to expand and encourage creativity in any reader, including kids.

4.The villain isn't threatening. Unlike those in My Little Pony like King Sombra and Tirek, who are all threatening and scary, the little fluffy rabbit Evilee isn't at all threatening. Instead, she is who all preschool villains should be - mischievous, playing pranks and throwing tantrums when nothing goes her way. It's something even Octonauts and The Lion Guard should adopt. You hear me, Disney Junior?!

5.It inspired me to do some creative projects of my own. You know what? I'll dedicate the rest of the countdown to what I did inspired by those Gumdrops. Here they are:

6.Imagination diaries

7.My own imagination books, inspired by those Paige the librarian keeps

8.Micro fiction and drabbles

9.Character diaries

10.And best of all, thanks to the Gumdrops, I discovered that I can turn words into anything with the power of imagination - something other Little Tiger/Stripes books like Dirty Bertie and Undead Pets, didn't encourage their readers to do before, because nobody understood it like author Elissa Elwick.

So Elissa, if you're reading this, I would like to say: thank you. The Gumdrops meant so much to me, and now it is a tool for combatting brain fog and thinking up new ideas. When the new Gumdrops book, Main Character Energy, my creativity will expand even more. Maybe I can suggest some ideas for Gumdrops books!

But still, Elissa, I couldn't have expanded my creativity without you or your faithful Gumdrops on hand to see me through. So:

Thank you for encouraging creativity.

Thank you for helping me combat my brain fog and finding something to help me spend my 5 minute time out sessions with.

And most of all...

Thank you, for inventing a series that caters to my level.

As a wise poodle once said:

You're doing great.

Keep up the good work.

The State Of CBBC

It began, with two sis-

No wait, the Wonderland.

And I don’t mean Jody In Wonderland, or Alice Through The Looking Glass by Disney, I meant…Almost Never.

And it’s horrid lab scientist of a children’s channel, CBBC.

Ever since using that awful show as a box set experiment, I do believe CBBC was disintegrating in British content for kids ever since that day. And when CBeebies did the same with Moon & Me, they were scraping the Queen’s pennies too. And as 2019 progressed, the days got worse and worse.

CBBC began to heavily promote their box sets on weekdays when kids were still in school, doing maths and art and science and what have you, and this horrendous menace of a channel was conducting its own experiment. The experiment’s name was:

“Would kids watch iPlayer if we ran marathons every single day, all morning, just to draw kids’ attention?”

It worked. And it wasn’t pretty.

Soon, during the stupid pandemic, more and more people started watching iPlayer more than ever, so CBBC started using their presenters to scream at their viewers to watching iPlayer day in day out. Or is it, day in day in? I need to consult an agent.

Anyway, not only that, but like most distraught companies, CBBC lost all their money because the pandemic swiped it all away like a bank robber. As a result, they embraced two of the worst words in the English dictionary besides no:

“Creatively bankrupt.”

Do these words sound horrifying to you? Feel free to scream now.

CBBC crumbled to pieces after these two words embraced the company like a cobra about to eat its prey. Not only were Hacker and the presenters constantly shouting at us to watch iPlayer even when shows are on, but they were bumping their shows they usually repeat onto the naughty step to show the worst kind of shows any truly British channel had ever aired…

Foreign cartoons.

With regional accents!

No, not regional accents. AMERICAN ACCENTS.

Feel free to panic now.

So not only did they show a variety of horrid American cartoons from Cartoon Network, but they also showed two of the most annoying cartoons in the world, Spongebob and Teen Titans Go, and they started airing anime when they weren’t supposed to!

What is wrong with the employees?! CBBC isn’t a global peace conference, it’s a place where kids and grown ups can enjoy quality British made educational programming together - charming original dramas based on award winning novels by authors like Jacqueline Wilson, and what did we get instead these days?

“True friends will help you remember who you rea-

NO SCRATCH THAT WATCH IPLAYER!”

That’s overstimulation and hard sell advertising talking. CBBC had embraced it so much they act like they hate British people, and it isn’t fair. Queen and country need to be supported, both for the kids and for the grown ups too.

And since when was the last time you saw my favourite shows, Strange Hill High and Scream Street airing on the channel every day?

Never. Not in a million years.

And look, I think lots of parents are stupendously worried about Spongebob and the Teen Titans on CBBC.

One: Spongebob might take over CBBC the same way Nicktoons constantly aired it instead of a variety of classic and new Nicktoons, and

Two: Teen Titans Go might take over the channel the same way it took over Cartoon Network in America, leading to copiously awful 365-day amounts of screen time.

Remember that Thanksgiving marathon? It was painful, and lots of American viewers were very angry.

Instead of all this overstimulating, drab rubbish, we must ask CBBC to embrace king and country like they did before this whole iPlayer thing started. Creative bankruptcy doesn’t count. Streaming doesn’t count. Money doesn’t count either. What matters most is we all need to pitch in, hold each others’ hands and tell the BBC to make more British programmes for British kids.

Co productions.

There’s no such thing.

And I’m glad I said that.

Jamie's School Dinners: An Insight Into Eating Disorders

If any parents were as grizzly as the main character's parents of this Grizzly Tales story, they'd probably need some therapeutic training and experimentation on their hands. But through my lens, this story, titled 'Jamie's School Dinners', is not cited as a cautionary tale for 'lovers of Squeam' as promised, but a warning about ignoring the needs and habits of a child with an eating disorder, like Jamie. This essay will give you a better understanding of the themes portrayed rather negatively in the episode.

The story starts by introducing Jamie and his habit of eating chicken nuggets every day, day in, day out, and goes on to explain that his parents gave him their brains so he can know more, thus making them careless enough to refuse to understand their son's needs and habits, and only force him to eat greasy plates of meat and lard. Even temptation to eat healthy things from the new head teacher at his school goes awry, thus showcasing his dislike for healthy, balanced food.

However, the arrival of the main villain, an evil dinner lady, makes Jamie's experience with everyone around him neglecting his eating disorder worse, as she keeps force feeding him, leading to endless teasing and days and days of ignorance and refusal. As the days fly by, Jamie's experience with being force fed gets worse and worse, from getting morbidly obese to developing worse acne on his face.

All these side effects of Jamie's mistreatment represent those a child with an eating disorder thinks he or she loves not giving them the healthy, balanced diet they wanted, and only giving them big portions instead of one little portion a day. If you give a child big platefuls of meat, or one of the same food, they might think it's a healthy, balanced diet, and might demand more. The theme of greed is present in every Grizzly Tales story, so this one takes its main character's bad eating habits - or, disorder as we call it these days - waaaaaaaaaaaay too far.

This is documented near the story's shocking climax, where the wicked villain plants a time bomb in Tom's abdomen and lures him back to her rustic kitchen lair, where she uses him as an ingredient for her cooking show which a family of trolls from hell watch fiercely.

The shocking twist might thrill and gross out kids watching, but can also warn parents about what might happen if they ignore the needs, habits and preferences of their eating disorder-diagnosed kids, and encourages them in a sinister manner to balance their one favourite food with food they've never tried before, such as rice, bananas, beans, veggies, fruits and other healthy food, which is what's needed to build a healthy, growing body.

It also encourages them in a startling, sloppy manner to give their kids 5 minutes of exercise a day, not a lot, because it may hurt their bodies. Too much exercise for unfit people can tear their muscles and cause endless, daily stitches which may need bucketloads of Voltarol.

Good job, Honeycomb Animation. Maybe if you sold Grizzly Tales to the USA, you'd use this episode to teach about America's confrontation with their parents' worries about their kids' obsession with pigging out on junk food while watching Spongebob all day.

Teen Titans Go airing all the time on Cartoon Network is getting a bit boring, right, Honeycomb?

The Egyptian Princess: An Essay

Moses does not exist in this ancient Egyptian world anymore, but Thunderbirds characters do - and so do I.

Floating down the river in my little straw basket, it avoids raging tides and greedy hippos before it gets picked up - by a pair of kind and gentle hands. It's Lady Penelope, the kindest and most gentle Egyptian queen in the world. She takes me back to the palace to show the kind Pharaoh, Jeff Tracy. In his family are Scott, Virgil, Gordon, Parker, Tin Tin, Kyrano, Brains and of course the palace kitchen cook Grandma. Jeff observes me gently, then takes me over to a little bowl full of holy water. He anoints me and declares me to be a true part of his royal family.

Throughout the years, I play and grow under the care of the king and queen, totally oblivious to the slavery going on in the outside world. Brains, Alan and Tin Tin think of me as their sister, while Scott, Virgil and Gordon constantly chase me out of the kingdom and trample me over using their Thunderbird carriages - 1, 2 and 3 - and their big, strong stallion-like horses. When this happens, Queen Penelope would find me lying on the sand covered in bruises and blood stains, and she would take me back to the palace doctor Kyrano for some gentle, soft nursing. Everyone loves me there, and soon I would grow up to lead the Pharaoh's people to the promised land, with the promise of milk and honey.