When I Think About How Overstimulating Dreamworks' Home Is...

A Letter To Spear & Fang

Dear Spear & Fang,

I’m sorry to hear that one of you is going to be replaced by an AI-generated zombie clone to save money instead of a puppet or another actor. Spear, I’m sorry about what you have to go through after your ‘death’ in Season 2 of Primal, and it makes me sad that people would abandon the human creativity they held so dear in favour of stupid, useless AI.

I mean, we can use AI for ideas and everything, but we can’t use AI to control what cartoons or kids’ shows we see on the telly. I mean, using AI can make entertainment so fast paced it can make every single kid in the world angry and scream until they burst into distraught tears. Speaking of, it’s nice you’re not letting Fang’s two dinosaur children, Meat and Bone, watch Cocomelon, because it makes them throw tantrums in public.

Oh, and dare I mention, Cocomelon looks like it’s been made with AI? Oh dear no! And, from the information I looked up on Instagram, Mainframe was responsible for creating it! No way! They would be better off creating slow paced CGI like back in the day, like they did with ReBoot, or Beast Wars, or Barbie, or Max Steel. Don’t you think it’s a great idea for everyone to stop using AI?

Love,

Sybil

XXXOOO

Things I'll Get From Hobbycraft In The Future

1. The Lion King Tiny Adventures Book Nook
2. The Jungle Book Tiny Adventures Book Nook
3. Transformers Optimus Prime Smart Kit
4. Barbie Colour Wonder
5. Paw Patrol Colour Wonder
6. Peppa Pig Colour Wonder
7. Paw Patrol Art Pad
8. Cocomelon Art Pad
9. Colourful Marker Pens
10. Play Doh Purple Bubble Pop
11. Play Doh Clouds
12. The Lion King Jigsaw Puzzle
13. Stitch Crystal Art
14. Glass Milk Bottles
15. Gingerbread House Drink Dispenser

My Views On Digimon Adventure 2020 On Sky Kids

Some Sky Kids' shows do a pretty terrible job at teaching kids how to learn. Cocomelon-style music video programmes, animated series featuring characters with bratty behaviour, overstimulating fast cuts, etc.. But aside from a programme I loved on the network, Norman Picklestripes, two years ago, I can agree that Digimon Adventure 2020 is the only one that is bearable to watch. It may contain the charm of the original '90s Digimon Adventure series, but despite the focus on Tai and Agumon, I'm always happy to let the other characters, specifically Tailmon (what happened to Gatomon?), the holy Digimo-? Woah woah woah woah - who allows religious imagery and swear words in a kids' anime?! Those Japanese are crazy, aren't they?

What Happy Bear Loves...

Happy Bear loves ocean bands like the one in my new book The Whale Who Wanted More, and recommends kids watch the 1995 Mr Men & Little Miss series instead of Cocomelon, or Peppa Pig, or Fireman Sam, or Paw Patrol.

Which one of these is more overstimulating?

Kids' Shows That Are More Addictive Than Cocomelon

Bluey

Thunderbirds

Stingray

Captain Scarlet

Joe 90

Fireball XL5

Transformers Armada

Transformers Cybertron

My Little Pony (G3)

He Man (2002)

Digimon Adventure

Rex The Runt

A Town Called Panic

Old Bear Stories

Teletubbies

Kipper The Dog

Percy The Park Keeper

Danger Mouse (1981)

Thunderbirds Are Go (2015)

Scream Street

Strange Hill High