Search up pictures of Orko, Optimus Prime, Benjamin, Fiver, Hazel, Fritz, Winnie The Pooh, Snarf, Roobarb, Danger Mouse and Penfold online
Do impersonations of the characters
Learn how to draw the characters
Pretend to have a tea or dance party with them
Use GChat to launch a pretend chat
Research the animation studios.
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We all know cats have nine lives
Us humans have nine lives too
But did you know toons have nine lives?
Oh, I bet you do!
Dastardly & Muttley compete in Formula 1,
Pink Panther is captured in a zoo,
Huckleberry Hound is in the dog pound
And fame is lost for Betty Boop
Charlie the cat is chained for slaughter
Queer Duck lives in a housing estate
Mr Magoo had an eye operation
Benjamin is used as government bait
Mighty Mouse is called the worst
Captain Caveman is now quiet
Felix the cat got euthanized
Woody Woodpecker leads American riots
Jamie and Wordsworth are drug addicts
Fiver & Hazel are experiments for a lab
Droopy has depression and is suicidal
And to Roobarb’s delight, Custard is in rehab
Dumbo’s mother is shot by hunters
The Grinch is sentenced to jail
Babar, like Pink, is caged in a zoo
And Yogi Bear starves and is frail
Peter Pan grows up and can no longer fly
Noggin The Nog grows old
Tintin is killed on a mission in Bombay
And Lady and Tramp are 40 years old
Willo The Wisp is a low ranking male
Pepe Le Pew cheats on his wife
Alice, like Jamie, is a drug addict
Mr Toad has a mixed up life
Hong Kong Phooey ain’t the real star,
The Snowman ain’t real either,
Captain Pugwash is named for being rude
And Flik got eaten by Fiver
Top Cat’s owners got run over by a car,
Bambi coped with death too (you all know how!)
Foghorn Leghorn no longer stutters
And Snow White has mad cow
Ginger and Rocky are circus stars
The Powerpuff Girls are tired of plain’
Baloo and Mowgli are a gay couple
Fritz The Cat thinks STD is a pain
Winnie The Pooh has eczema
Snarf is ignored and left behind
Sorcerer Mickey’s ‘magic’ is fake
And Ariel has nothing on her mind
Donald Duck has lost his voice,
Scooby Doo is morbidly obese,
Wile E Coyote caught the Road Runner
Bod’s been infected by yeast
Inspector Gadget’s been called boring
Pikachu, like Fiver, is a lab rat
Spider Man falls every time he swings
Ivor The Engine is a prat!
Samurai Jack’s been taking Aku’s medicine
Hank Hill is a cowboy in the West
Tommy and Chuckie have all growed up
And Snoopy has moved to a bird’s nest
Pongo and Perdita have parenting problems,
Optimus Prime’s gentle and kind,
Dougal can’t stop talking about the Sunday Times
Tweety made Sylvester make up his mind
Orko’s the best wizard in the world,
While Lumiere overthrows Belle,
Steamboat Mickey’s dancing the night away
And Daffy Duck’s raising hell!
Uni is thrown into a pet shop
Spongebob has all dried up
The Ninja Turtles are fat from eating too much pizza
And Bender has the hiccups
Pinocchio’s nose is a clothes rack
Danger Mouse’s eye was gouged out
Popeye took spinach instead of steroids
Mike and Sully let Boo cry and pout
Marvin The Martian has failed again,
Roger Rabbit has committed suicide,
Ren & Stimpy aren’t toilet trained
Magic Carpet gives hippies rides
Wallace & Gromit are blackmailed,
Nemo is fried in a fish and chip shop
Jack Skellington flips when there are no decorations
And The Iron Giant hates balloons that pop
Fred Flintstone needs a shave,
Bugs Bunny’s causing roadblock
Mr Incredible’s household is a mess
And Chihiro’s life is under a rock!
Simba is chained by his neck in the zoo
Shrek needs to be cleaned for being dirty
Brian and Stewie have stolen the show
With Bo Peep, Woody was flirty!
Oh my god, they killed Kenny,
And Tom & Jerry are in love with each other.
The Simpsons are number one, top dog,
So I guess that’s the end, oh brother.
So the next time you see any of these toons,
Just remember this, my friends:
These toons all have a cat’s nine lives
You never know where they may end.
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