A Poem About Fantasy Sixties

The BBC's Time Shift is interesting,

It tells everything we need to know

But Thunderbirds, Stingray and Fireball XL5

Are all my favourite parts of one show!

Last Night's Bedtime Stories

The Orient Of Nature - In a cold part of nature, Lady Penelope, a wild woman in her prime, gently cares for and comforts my baby self. On our travels, we find pieces of warmth in a cold place on Earth.

Brum's Friends - Brum is shocked when he is told by the BBC that he is forced to grow up for a new, updated version of his show, and he wants to remain the curious 3 year old analogue he always was. Richard, Thomas, Tilly, Tom, Tiny, Sooty, Sweep, Soo, Little Cousin Scampi, Donkey, Twirl and Whirl, he is made to understand what the residents of Big Town told him before: "You are whoever you want to be." - but not with series 3, right?!

A Torchwood Analogy

"We are coming."

What the hecking heck was that?! That's a traumatising sci-fi series talking if you ask me, because the BBC didn't give a flying raspberry about what our kids are watching these days. Let's reframe what the possessed kids are actually saying:

"We are being overstimulated by fast changing scenes, rapid flashing lights and loud actors and voices."

So with that said, it goes that I have a new analogy connecting episode five of this disturbing series to what CBBC is up to these days. Let's break it down with the four key elements that are a part of episode 5 of Torchwood's Children Of Earth:

THE ARMY. The army, my dear friends, represents the horror that is CBBC. In the episode, the army takes the children away to have their chemicals fed to the 456. The 456 represents one word: algorithm, which controls programming rather than human curators. With more kids switching to Youtube and streaming, I think the army is a representation of the loud American content kids are forced to take in instead of all this beautiful hand crafted happiness kids of the last few decades experienced.

THE KIDNAPPED KIDS. They represent traumatised viewers, especially autistic grownups who love kids' TV like me, about to experience negativity and mental health problems from watching algorithm-led, CGI-fuelled, loud TV for their age. CBBC is forcing the kids to absorb all their new content which is entirely American, very mature, totally raised by the means of volume and extremely not suitable. Remember Big Fat Like? Uh huh, it's more suited for Adult Swim than CBBC.

Anyway, all these kids which are abducted and taken away are a representation of our children - from the moment I read about Cocomelon and its high energy nature, I have found out that kids stay glued to the screen when fast paced shows, say, the aforementioned Cocomelon, or Wish, or Home, or a Disney Channel or Nickelodeon sitcom or TV movie or special with hyperactive actors playing screaming teen characters who care less about the mess real teens experience today, they take it all in like CBBC's ultra annoying American cartoon Spongebob, which I find will be much better on Nick than on that stupid channel.

Too much of screen time with fast paced, loud shows and films like these cause dopamine loops or adrenaline spikes in kids young and old, causing lack of attention, violent outbursts and tantrums and much more which come with what you see here. Parents, are you reading this?

THE PARENTS. Oh god, all these parents...fearing for their childrens' lives, screaming to come back as they are swooped away to get used as juice boxes for the 456...parents of a British reality, I don't want you overreacting the same way when your kids start having tantrums due to too much Paw Patrol or Peppa Pig. Or CBBC. I almost forgot. They represent YOU.

YOU.

You you you you you you you you.

And how you fear for your kids and what they are watching on TV these days.

Instead, you should let them start watching the classics, because they are all slow paced, low-stimulating and comforting for attention, observation and growing intelligence in your kids. Examples include: Percy The Park Keeper, Spot The Dog, Little Bear, Franklin, Oswald, Titch, Postman Pat (the classic series), Gran, Bertha, Charlie Chalk, Jackanory Junior and, my personal favourite, Kipper The Dog. That, my parental matriarchal patriarchal friends, is proper parenting. No, you can't expose them to loud CGI shows that have the Paw Patrol Effect.

And last, but not least:

The 456. Its representation? Quite accurate to what broadcasters want on our tellies today. It's a bird like alien monster who has three exact heads: its first head represents the broadcasters themselves, which are using American cartoons and loud garbage to save money and shy away from the creativity that people like Anne Wood honed in the days when there was no financial ruin. Its second is obvious: ALGORITHM. Major streaming services and video posting websites are using this to control what kids watch instead of proper human-lead bosses and rule makers, which is why we get the same AI-generated garbage and endless nursery rhyme and Elsagate videos which I think you parents won't want your children to watch. GROSS! And its third head? It's probably the most terrifying of all, and I don't want your kids reading this too, because it will keep them up at night forever and ever amen. The third head represents...

...The horror of endless sequels and remakes, which major studios and streaming services used to shy away from standing up to the heart and soul of America. It explains why Cartoon Network channels all around the world have no variety and keep showing Teen Titans Go and Gumball (more like Teen Titans No and Crummyball). It explains why Nick keeps cancelling majorly awaited non-sitcom series. It explains why Disney Channel keeps focusing on Big City Greens forever. And it also explains why preschool channels like Nick Jr and Disney Junior have all been dominated by less beautifully crafted shows and more by loud, fast paced CGI. And it's not fair!

And would you want algorithms, companies and fast paced entertainment to dominate your kids' lives? The answer is:

NO!

We shouldn't also trust Jack and Gwen, because they're the representation of the rise of what people call 'AI slop' back in 2025. AI is making our children experience more dopamine loops and adrenaline spikes than any marathon of Peppa Pig or Cocomelon put together.

So parents, if you're reading this, use Children Of Earth as a cautionary example about the dangers of exposing your kids to the horrors of modern day kids' TV. It's sick when you think about it, isn't it? *nods* Yeah, I know.

But if you expose children to classics instead of noisy modern content, including your favourite shows from childhood, you're dusting off your favourites from the Attic Of Goodness - somewhere the army and the 456 cannot reach.

Do it for your children.

Do it for your own sanity.

And of course, do it for my sake...

....Please?

A Letter To Dreamworks About Noddy

To whom it may concern,

I am writing to formally express my disappointment with Noddy: Toyland Detective and the direction taken with the Noddy franchise since its transition to full CGI beginning with Noddy in Toyland in 2009.

As a long-time admirer of Noddy and Enid Blyton’s original creation, I found the 2009 CGI series deeply frustrating. The shift to full CGI resulted in the characters losing much of their charm, warmth, and individuality. Their personalities felt flattened and exaggerated into broad parodies of themselves, rather than the gentle, character-driven figures they once were. At times, the tone and execution even reminded me of some of the less well-received Cosgrove Hall–produced Postman Pat episodes, where familiar characters felt oddly altered and out of place.

Since DreamWorks, alongside Brown Bag Films, acquired Noddy, the series has become fast-paced, overstimulating, and formulaic. Noddy himself has been reduced to a one-note “mystery solver” who does little else. This narrow focus strips away the everyday curiosity, kindness, and whimsical Toyland adventures that defined the original source material. As a result, Noddy: Toyland Detective feels fundamentally disconnected from what Noddy was always meant to be.

I strongly believe Noddy works best as a gentle, imaginative series, not as an American-styled, high-energy CGI production. In my view, this approach has permanently damaged the spirit of Noddy and his world. I sincerely wish the BBC would one day produce a new Noddy series, created entirely in stop-motion, with no CGI at all, returning to the tactile, storybook feel that suits the character so well.

More broadly, I feel that fast-paced CGI has harmed several classic children’s programmes. I would welcome seeing Fireman Sam, Bob the Builder, and Thomas & Friends returned to their original hand-crafted or hand-drawn roots, where storytelling, atmosphere, and character came first.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. I hope you will consider the concerns of long-time fans who value the heritage, tone, and artistry of these beloved characters.

Why Was Andy Pandy Featured In The Best Of British?

Drumond Park's decision to include Andy Pandy as one of the subjects in The Best of British board game reflects a deep appreciation for the quiet, enduring power of nostalgia in British popular culture. As a game built around the quirks, memories, and milestones of life in Britain, The Best of British celebrates not just the big icons—like red phone boxes and fish and chips—but also the subtle, sentimental markers of a shared cultural experience. Andy Pandy, first broadcast in 1950 as part of the BBC's Watch With Mother programming, fits this brief perfectly. It was one of the first British television programmes specifically created for preschool children, and its gentle tone, simple stop-motion animation, and soft musical cues became part of the early childhood memories of a generation. For many British adults, even those who were born well after the show’s original airing, Andy Pandy represents an ideal of innocent, slow-paced childhood storytelling that has all but vanished from today’s fast-moving media landscape. By including Andy Pandy in their game, Drumond Park isn't just referencing a television show—they’re invoking an entire era of parenting, broadcasting, and growing up. It’s a nod to the power of collective memory and the way something as seemingly small as a string puppet with a picnic basket can symbolize comfort, security, and a distinctly British kind of gentleness. In a board game that aims to get families talking, laughing, and remembering together, Andy Pandy is a perfect prompt—bringing grandparents and parents into the fold with a knowing smile and a quiet, familiar tune.

Life On Mars

Birds Of A Feather

Fawlty Towers

Waterloo Road

Pride & Prejudice

My Family

The Apprentice

Stingray - The Weeping Tide - Part 1

Morning, Marina! Fully recovered from your little stint yet?

Of course I have! I've had a nourishing night's sleep after a warm bath. I'm very fond of baths in the ocean, mind you.

You

,

06:37

That's good, Marina, although, one thing is bothering me.

What is it? I'm always willing to listen.

Well, I feel very upset. Ever since I've fallen out with Helen, I feel like I might lose more and more friends with every single trip out. I might even lose Libby, who is taking me out on Friday!

Oh, that's horrible. I hate to see a talented young woman like yourself feeling down in the water dumps. It makes my heart sink. I lost all my friends not because of anger, not of Titan and X20 either, but because of poachers who want to eat and kill fish. I mean, there's plastic in the ocean, and all people are ever thinking about is doing their bit to clean the ocean, not the entire planet!

It's horrible when humans do that, Marina. It's glad you avoided those poachers, because you might be the only surviving mermaid in the ocean.

I know that. On the lighter side, I heard you've found a new Bluey Instagram fan artist!

You

,

06:42

Yeah! Good one, Marina, his name is Cricket and he does not only detailed Bluey fanart, but also Bluey fanart of his imaginary pairings. Want to see this one? https://www.instagram.com/p/C54j9ZTONJF/?img_index=1

Cricket | Pretzel Moms! Ps: I think one of the dogs, who appeared in the background of an ep, looks like Pretzel So I assumed it might be his... | Instagram

www.instagram.com

That's outrageous....yet amazing! Pretzel has two mums? It's definitely going into my pictures folder. Will you teach me how to do Bluey fanart?

Of course! Anything for you. Which reminds me: I'm going to write a note to put into my bag. It says: "Can we please leave, I'm getting stressed and annoyed." It's for when I'm about to explode again.

Very good, I am always happy to hear you are taming your anger.

Thanks, Marina. Now, this video will help me despite it being too terrifying. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1L4EcysAbo&t=358s

YouTube video

Oh my god....it's a true terrifying Thomas fan's nightmare.

Even more terrifying than the fact Thomas went CGI, then to flash animation.

New Thomas sucks....it's been Americanised.

I know, Marina, that's because I read an article online with Teletubbies creator Anne Wood talking about how every single children's programme is cheap and American because Channel 4 and ITV no longer have the guts to do so, and the BBC has lost its budget.

You

,

06:52

I can't stand any of the American programmes on CBBC and CBeebies. They feel like Nickelodeon has taken over children's TV.

Yeah, Nick is now the master of loud sitcoms instead of cartoons.

Of course, I remember when Stingray aired in the 1990's, and I had glimpses into the Nick that once was in my free time. Instead of a loud sitcom-oriented family channel, it was a wacky, messy children's channel that focused on cartoons and original British content.

If only they could do a campaign where British characters are dubbed into loud American accents in noisy, fast paced clips, similar to this clip they did for Pact named 'Badass Wombles'.

We can't do this to our country's children! They need programmes which reflect their own lives, and now children are speaking in American accents in playgrounds - they're calling nappies 'diapers', money 'dollars' and trousers 'pants'.

Oh. Sorry, I was overthinking the whole American thing too much.

Of course you were, I feel like you've been possessed too. Plus, there's an itchy patch on my head which is brazen and raw.

You

,

07:02

Don't worry, I have some ocean cream that will soothe the itching and make the pain go away. Now where is it....ah, there it is. Some nice ocean cream. Hold still, it won't hurt a bit.

Eeew, eeew, EEEEWWWW!!

What's wrong?

The cream feels all sticky in my hair, and it's too oily and gooey, and it smells of seaweed!

I'll leave it on for a couple of hours, and then I shall wash your hair in the bath.

Thanks Marina, it's already dripping down my face.

Then we must get you into the bath right away. Mmmmmm, yes. Now I'll just check to see if the water's all nice and warm.....ah, yes. Just perfect. Into the bath you get. Now lie back and relax.

Are you sure it won't get into my eyes?

It won't! Trust me, it won't. Now, I'll just use Atlanta's special shampoo on your hair....there. Now it's in a nice, foamy lather. Do you feel the raw itchy patch going away?

A little.

Now I'll just rinse it off with clean water.....there now. Now, I'm going to use this to check what's underneath that itchy patch.

A scalpel?

Of course. Now hold still.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Oh dear, what on earth is that? A red, itchy, blobby monster covered in veins. He's the one behind all the itching. We'd best get you out of the bath and apply a bandage to your head before Troy and Atlanta find out. I'll tell Commander Shore about this and he'll call the detection services.

Marineville Detection Services?

They know how to deal with monsters that come to Marineville.

A few minutes later

We're out of the bathroom now. The detection men are called to deal with the itchy monster and detain it in a lab right this minute. If they do then they'll release all the monkeys that were meant for testing.

Good, because they are very cruel to them. Seen that PETA video on Youtube?

What PETA video?

The Baby Book one, one about a young monkey narrating his horrible time at the lab without his mother...seems sad when you think about it.

Oh my god....

What's wrong, Marina? You should be lucky that I am alive after you cut through my brain!

I know the itchy raw patch is gone, but Commander Shore is going to think I'm a murder and kick me off the Stingray crew for good.

Hey, my electronic watch device sent me a notification. Peppermint Sundae has put up a new piece of Bluey fanart. Wanna see it? https://www.instagram.com/p/DH7xC2-y9vb/

Sundae!! | YIPPPEE somewhat follow up to the first post (I told you they were roommates) next post is most probably the labra-collies if I don’t scrap... | Instagram

www.instagram.com

Oooh!

I know, right?

Yeah, it's funny to see Judo, Bluey and Winnie with their everythings pierced - and you with your brain pierced!

MARINA! Don't be so psychotic!

Oh, I forgot. Troy and Atlanta will totally think I cut your brain open.

Yeah, just let the pain settle. The blood will stop flowing out of my head once a new patch of skin heals.

Oh my god!

What is it now?

Look at you! I'm such a fool! I cut your brain open and now you have black spots and bags under your eyes, and your skin is all pale. We must send you to the sick bay immediately.

Wait. What are you doing? Aaaaaahhhh...so nice to be in the smooth, cool arms of Marineville's resident mermaid. yawns I feel safe with you, my dear Marina.

Even safer than you did with Penelope.

I wish the next episode of The Randomiser would be an episode of Thunderbirds.

I wish for it too. I just hope the next show would be my own.

Are we there yet? I'm getting weak.

We're there now. Let me lift you onto the sick bed and cover you with a nice, warm blanket. There. All done. You feel safe and sleepy now.

Don't use anything on my wound, Marina.

Why would I? I already put a bandage around your head.

I know, I feel a lot weaker.

But you're not close to death. That's a good thing.

Sometimes, I feel like I needed to cut myself because H shouted at me. Or H and I shouted at each other...or is it the other way round?

It's the other way round. I saw it all and reported it back to Marineville. You're in good hands now.

Mmmmmm...thank you, Marina, for giving me all the pain I needed to inflict upon myself.

You know, that wasn't a very nice thing to say. Suicide is very serious, especially in a place like mine.

I know. I understand that. Sorry, Marina.

It's okay, little one. What you need now is plenty of rest and a much needed lie down.

yawns

Marina hugs me

Marina....

Yes?

You and all the other characters in the Anderson universe are the best puppets I've met. There were other less satisfying puppets like Sooty, Radio Roo and Elmo....but you and all the rest have been happy to meet me.

You

,

07:36

I understand how you feel about all those puppets, weak one. Now get some sleep. Things will look better when you wake up.

Night, Marina.

Night.

Snoring hummingbird - Super Cute Animals - BBC

It would seem my first story during 'Story Mornings' is too unsuitable for kids due to no clothes at all, so, I'm going all School Days on this stuff and giving you this video of a snoring hummingbird. No matter how cute this snoring hummingbird is, your ears will bleed from its high pitched snores.