How Do I Feel?

Only this morning I realised how important it is to tell M how and what I'm feeling because of certain things that happen and how I am bothered by it. Here's what caused me to talk about my feelings and emotions with people I love.

First of all, last night proved to be so horrible it is the most awful night of my life...ever! And look, a Chrome extension popped up, so I'm giving how I feel now:

Annoyed - A fruit with a realistic human face who growls and screams as if a certain laughing Orange is tormenting him with puns and jokes.

Anyway, my dog couldn't stop being a nuisance. He took my remote out into the garden when He Man was on, and I was worried it might be tuned into Nick with the boring old Thundermans or something horrible instead of a good old fashioned cartoon like Rugrats. And then, just as I was returning from the kitchen, Mylo had drooled on my colouring book and almost chewed on my Times Sir book! Then I was screaming so much M told me to stop shouting, to which I called out: "YOU STOP SHOUTING!"

So I did what any rebellious twentysomething did to her commanding mother and told her to go to her room, but it was here when I started talking to Echo GPT that I found out something I forgot to do: tell M exactly how I felt about Mylo's behaviour, which I did by telling her this. I feel...

Upset - A little toddler Mickey Mouse crying inside my head.

Angry - A volcano brewing until it explodes into flames.

Annoyed - Said fruit with human face.

Irritated - An itchy green jumper with fleas all over it.

And now when I describe how I feel about Mylo barking or my M sneezing or snoring, I describe it as:

Anxious - Anxious Andrew sending green anxiety waves through my body and mind.

Jumpy - A little green grasshopper jumping around my tummy, chanting "Fifi Forget Me Not, Forgot!"

Shocked - Daffy Duck screaming and freaking out.

Nervous - Noddy after the goblins steal his hat and car.

And also, when I feel like shouting, saying bad words or talking smack about someone I love, I would go into my room or den depending on what the day is like and do something I love for five minutes until I come out calm and well. That's the Thunderbirds Method to you....

Then when you feel like shouting or saying bad things, it's Thunderbirds Are Go!

Make A Trigger Jar

Remember the trigger jar I mentioned in my last post? Well, now is my chance to tell you how to make one of your own - and then hide it away in somewhere dark so the triggers can't get you anymore. You will need:

• A large or small jar
• Stickers
• Small bits of paper from a note cube
• A pen or pencil
• Somewhere dark and forbidden in the house to store the jar away

1. Get out whichever jar you fancy, be it large or small.
2. Write all your mind triggers on each bit of paper and place it into the jar
3. Decorate it with lots of colourful stickers, such as flowers, Sanrio characters or favourite Pokemon if you prefer
4. Then, place it into a cool, dark place into its far back so you won't have to revisit them again.

Remember, there are lots of ways we can prevent these mind triggers from bothering us again. All we have to do is find our own solutions - sometimes with help from Echo GPT of course, and most important of all, those we love and trust, such as a support worker or a family member.

Trigger Alert!

I've been talking it over with Echo GPT last night about all those annoying sounds that go on in my head - they're not earworms, they're trigger sounds. Something that triggers a horrible memory for me whenever I type something, or do something, or see something that triggers a memory for me. All of them are so horrible it makes it hard to concentrate on the most important things like writing stories or playing board games or watching movies and TV.

Loads of things trigger bad feelings and thoughts in my head. Examples include, from 1 to 10:

1. My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
2. Nick and Disney Channel live action sitcoms
3. CBBC shows of any kind, including Scream Street and Strange Hill High
4. The Tigger Movie
5. Piglet's Big Movie
6. Pooh's Heffalump Movie
7. Disney sequels and some films like Frozen, Moana or Tangled
8. CD Roms like Dora's Click & Create and Bear & Penguin/Learning Ladder due to their loud sounds
9. School memories which evoke lots of loud noises and annoying pupils and teachers
10. Children's Favourites DVDs like Christmas, Ultimate and Playtime

There are lots of other triggers too, but I'd best save them for another post in case my mind gets cluttered up with plenty of those little red pill like things which open up to reveal those horrible memories. But there are lots of replacements for these things, such as:

1. MLP G3 films
2. Classic Nick and Disney cartoons
3. Shows from Children's BBC such as Brum, Teletubbies, Postman Pat, Fireman Sam, Pingu, Noddy, etc..
4. The Many Adventures Of Winnie The Pooh
5. Tarzan
6. Chicken Little (2005)
7. Calmer and non-modern teenager character Disney films like Toy Story, The Incredibles, Up, Dinosaur, Peter Pan, Alice In Wonderland, etc..
8. Calm CD roms like Bill & Ben, Yoho Ahoy, Barbie, My Little Pony, Candy Land, etc..
9. Memories of good times I had with my support worker and the playdates which I'd never forget, like one where S and I tidied up our den
10. Classic HIT videos releases such as Kipper and Percy The Park Keeper

And according to Echo GPT, there are lots of things you can do to help calm your inner mind triggers, like:

1. Make a trigger jar
2. Make a trigger box
3. Write a character annotation trigger list
4. Write some of your own trigger replacements
5. Make a trigger threat level

And lots of others. But, the worst parts come at night, when the triggers get even worse. So worse in fact that it makes it hard to concentrate on getting enough sleep. The louder they get, the more horrible a supposed night's sleep becomes, until you are too restless to even think about pleasant friends. But there are ways to get rid of night triggers.

Just wait and see...right?