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I own a pet dog. Obviously not a real one, my mum’s allergic to dogs and she starts sneezing every time someone with a dog walks past, or she sees someone playing fetch with their dogs at the park. It’s an imaginary dog. His name is Cream Cake, and he’s an Alaskan Malamute. He’s so soft and fluffy, I could just cuddle him all day. He’s like a big brother to me, and he’s called Cream Cake because of his cream coloured patches in place of grey ones like most Alaskan Malamutes. He doesn’t poo on the rug like most dogs, instead he uses the toilet, and whenever it’s time for dinner, he eats real human food like bacon and eggs. His favourite food obviously is cake, but Mum tells me to save it for after teatime. Cream, as I like to call him, says “You can’t have tea without milk,” and that’s exactly what I have every teatime - milk, although Cream Cake uses a straw to suck it all up. “You finished your milk very quickly,” said Mum as she cleared the table. “Actually, it was Cream Cake who drank it all up.” I added in very quickly as I moved my Scream Street mug, which was shaped like Cleo Farr, out of the way.
My name, by the way, is Evelyn. Cream Cake and I love butterflies, unicorns and tea parties in my room, which I call my secret hideout. I live with my mum and my 15-year-old brother Dan. Now, Dan’s only 15, and I’m 7, but he loves CBBC. Mum says I’m a bit too young for the channel, but Dan’s favourite show is Scream Street. He likes both seasons, but Mum tells him not to watch it in front of me, because it’ll scare me to death. It was near Halloween, and the house was decorated for this occasion. Pumpkins and bats hung in hollow paper chains past the curtains. There were carved pumpkins outside the door, and Halloween ornaments stood in pride of place at the window. My favourite one was of a ghost wavily floating out of a grave, while a pumpkin watched in awe. Cream loves the ornament too. He likes to call the ghost ‘Icing’ and the pumpkin ‘Ichabod’ after Ichabod Crane from The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow.
On this day, my brother Dan and I were settling down to breakfast at the table. I left an extra seat for Cream just in case. “What do you want for breakfast today?” asked Mum as she laid three sunny side up eggs into the frying pan, “Toast, or the full monty - bacon and eggs?” “Full monty! Full monty!” Dan and I chanted. “But mostly, I would like toast to go with that please,” I added. “You should’ve asked for sausages.” whispered Cream. “Oh yeah? Mmm-hmmm, I see, I caught you stealing from the butcher’s shop yesterday. My mum was wondering where that pound of sausages had come from.” “But sausages are my favourite, especially with bacon and eggs.” said Cream. “Who were you talking to just now?” asked Dan. “No one,” I said, pointing at my empty seat. “Mu-um!” called Dan, “Evelyn’s talking to her imaginary friend again!” “Don’t be so harsh on Evelyn,” said Mum, “When she has imaginary friends, she can talk to them whenever she pleases.” She poured some milk into Dan’s Freddy Lupin-shaped 100% Wolf mug he got from Truffle Shuffle. The mug’s pink hair stuck up like it had put its paw in a electric socket, its blue eyes staring at Cream Cake, who seemed a little freaked out by his smile.
“This…is better.” he said, pointing to my Cleo mug. “Hey, Evie, have you heard?” asked Dan. “What?” I asked. “When you were five, I saw Cleo and Luella hugging - as frieeeeends! Ooooooooo!” “Uh oh! But I prefer it when she was with Luke and Resus!” “You haven’t even seen it yet, come on, don’t be a wuss!” At that point, Mum put a plate of bacon and eggs on the table in front of me, complete with two slices of toast spread with her homemade jam. A sniffing sound filled the air. I looked forward and saw Cream sniffing the smell of a complete breakfast. “A real breakfast, ho boy, what a treat!” Cream and I shared a whole breakfast between each other. Cream was always a messy eater, he always got egg yolk all over his fur. “And this incident is airing today,” said Dan, “I’ll be the first to see it, as well as who’s carrying my milk.” He pointed to the little white dog face on his mug. Its blue eyes stared at me and sparkled. “You mean, 100% Wolf?” I asked. “Yep.” “And Scream Street?” “It’s Endless Summer, you jerk,” said Dan. “Hey! Dan!” scolded Mum, “Don’t be so harsh on your sister. She’s too young for these kinds of things.” “By the way,” Cream told me, “Wolves don’t drink milk, they eat goat’s cheese, and so do I, although my breath feels a bit smelly. I ate some last suppertime. Wanna smell it?” “Actually, no, I…” Cream breathed all over me. The stink stench of dried up milk filled my nostrils. “Eeewww! Gross!” I cried.
After breakfast, I got out my Peppa Pig play tent and placed it in the middle of my bedroom. “Why are you getting the tent out?” asked Cream. “We have to be ready for 4:10PM.” “Is a bomb going off?” “No, it’s not a nuclear war, we have to be prepared for Scream Street. The moment Dan steps in front of the TV and turns it on, we head into the tent with all the essentials. Here’s what we need. I wrote down the list after we’ve eaten this morning, although a few bits of bacon grease got onto the paper.” I took out a greasy piece of paper and began to read. “Dustbin, calendar, books, games, paper, pencil, shovel, spade, crowbar, axe, hatchets, saw whistle and/or gong for alarms, suitcases for furniture or evacuation, string, pliers, first aid kit, safety pins, scissors, splints, aspirins, diarrhoea remedy, tweezers, calamine lotion, war crisis additions, lice/flea powder, rubber gloves, sanitary towel, mirror, toilet paper, eyewash.” “You don’t own these things. Plus, you stole it from When The Wind Blows.” said Cream. When The Wind Blows was my uncle’s favourite film. He can’t let me watch it obviously, because I was too little, and this film is for adults only. He saw it on Channel 4 once. It can still bring him to tears to this day.
