Monday, 4 July 2022
Space Chocolate Cake
11 Unicorn Ice Cream Treats
The Ice Cream Eating Contest
One day at the park, Luke, Resus, Cleo, Winston and I were enjoying ice creams from the ice cream lady at her stall. I had vanilla, Luke had chocolate, Cleo had strawberry, Resus had orange and Winston had raspberry ice cream. We always enjoyed getting an ice cream on a hot day, especially when the temperature’s bursting. “Those are some nice creams, Sybs,” said Luke. “Nice creams? I thought it was ice cream.” said Cleo. “I like to refer to them as nice creams, it’s much better than ice creams in my way of speaking.” “I’ve got some on my face!” said Winston. He always got ice cream on his face because he was a lot younger than most of us. “And I’ve got some on my tongue. They sting your teeth every time it touches them.” Some ice cream rolled onto my teeth. They started to feel cold already, so I swallowed them.
“I wish I could try some of your’s.” I pleaded, gazing longingly at Luke’s chocolate ice cream. “Mind if I have a lick?” “No.” said Luke, holding his ice cream high in the air. “Please…I want to have it!” I cried. “No, no, no, no, no!” said Luke. “Pleeeeasse, Luke!” I cried. “Let her have a lick of your ice cream. It’s nice to share after all.” “Only if…we challenge each other to an ice cream eating contest!” He held his ice cream high into the air. Too high. The ice cream fell off its cone and landed on Resus’ head! “Oh noooo,” groaned Resus. “Chocolate in my hair!”
It took a while to clean the ice cream off Resus using the water pump, and this got his clothes all wet, but eventually we let him dry off in the park while Luke, Cleo, Winston and I went to the ice cream parlour. It was a Sunday, so there was no one in, not even any shop owners. We snuck into the kitchen, where they kept lots of fridges filled with ice cream of different flavours. We took two giant blue stripe bowls, and put in scoop after scoop of chocolate, vanilla and strawberry ice cream. We placed one bowl on the table for me, and one bowl for Luke. “Right, here’s the plan. No breaks from eating ice cream. Anyone who stops is out. That is, if you’re too full to understand it.” said Cleo. “Okay,” we both said. “Go Luke!” cried Winston. “You can do it!” “Go Sybil!” cried Cleo. “Woo!”
I started by scooping a spoonful of ice cream and cramming it into my mouth, gulping it down with one almighty swallow. “Yeah! One point!” cheered Cleo. Luke thought he could do better, so he partially transformed his mouth and nose into his werewolf snout and devoured the ice cream in big bites. Seeing if he could do better, I ate five spoonfuls of ice cream in one go. Luke ate five big mouthfuls of ice cream. Winston was confused watching all this occur. “Do you think Luke will win, Cleo?” he asked. “I’m not sure. We’ll have to wait and see.” At that time, Resus entered from his long time drying off in the sunshine in the park. “Hey, guys, what’s going on in-”
He was too late. There was only one globule of ice cream left in our bowls. Luke felt full, but I managed to eat the last globule up before Luke had time to reach his spoon. “Sybil wins!” “Hooray!” Resus and Winston cheered. “Bad luck, Luke,” said Winston. But Luke was groaning in pain. He had terrible tummy ache from eating too much ice cream, and he had eaten every last spoonful. We ran up to Luke and felt sorry for him. Cleo reached out to touch his tummy, but Luke yelled in pain. “He’s got tummy ache. Let’s take him home and let him have enough rest.”
Luke rested fine when we went home. I comforted him all the way and told him some reassuring things. I even told him a story or two to calm him down. Resus and Cleo did their best to reassure him too, lying beside him and stroking him without touching his tummy. Then, Luke’s dad came in carrying a tray full of chocolate biscuits and strawberry ice cream. “I’ve got something to make you feel better, Luke,” he said, “Biscuits and ice cream. What do you think of that then?” “Yuck, no!” cried Luke, and with that, he took out a puke bucket and vomited. BLLLEEEEAAAAAURGH!
“Never engage in an ice cream eating contest,” I sighed severely.
I.B.F.Fs - The Real Spooktacular Joke Book - Here Sir
The first in a new project. Dr Skulley hates taking the register...or does he?
I.B.F.Fs: The Real Spooktacular Joke Book - Here Sir
Introducing the next big book printing project!👏
Dr Skulley hated taking the register at the beginning of every school morning. Every morning his pupils do something unexpected which annoys him or sometimes ticks him off, until he becomes so mad that he dismisses the class entirely. That pleases Luke, but sometimes Dr Skulley needs a bit of proper training. Here is what happened during a certain week in the life of the world’s boniest teacher.
“Hey! I’m the one who spoke the first beautifully constructed line of Scream Street, you know.”
Sorry, Dr. Skulley. Anyway, on Monday, all the pupils took their seats as always. Dr Skulley sat at his desk and took the register. “Luke?” he called. He was too busy biting his pencil, testing how strong his werewolf teeth are. “Resus?” Resus was listening to Brain Drain on his phone. “Cleo?” Cleo was doodling in her notebook. “Luella?” Luella was levitating an apple using her magic and paid no attention at all. “This is why she should never use spells at school,” murmured Dr Skulley to himself. He continued. “Six?” Six was asleep at her desk. “Dixon?” Dixon was picking his nose. Yuck! Dr Skulley grossed out for a bit. He continued. “Farp?” Farp was eating a whole plate of beans. Dr Skulley looked really nervous now. “Mia?” Mia was talking to Amy about the handsome looking perfume Charlie got for his birthday. “So, Charlie was pleased by this muscular perfume bottle I got him for his birthday, and you know what? It reminded him of a certain wolf boy.” “Oi!” cried Luke. “Captain?” Captain was making a paper aeroplane and whizzing it around the classroom. “Jasper?” Jasper was doing some maths calculations on his calculator. “Glad someone’s doing their maths work early. Charlie?” Charlie was talking with Pepper until he got bonked on the nose by Captain’s paper plane. “Pepper?” Pepper was silent. Dr Skulley just put down the register and continued with the day’s lessons.
On Tuesday, Dr Skulley decided to try again. Once the class got settled down, he got the register and checked to see if all the pupils are here. “Luke?” asked Dr Skulley. Instead of saying “Here!” Luke said, “Poo!” “Poo?!” cried Dr Skulley, “Luke, I’m warning you! Resus?” “Bum!” called Resus. “Cleo?” “Camel’s breath!” called Cleo. “Luella?” “Magic milk!” Luella called. “Six?” “Wee!” called Six. “Toilets!” called Dixon. “Farts!” called Farp, farting a little. The entire class grossed out. “Class, if you would just pay attention please!” called Dr Skulley. “Bottoms!” called Captain. “Bogies!” called Mia. “Burps!” called Pepper. “Fingernails!” called Charlie. “Calculator!” called Jasper. “Yuck!” called Amy. Dr Skulley angrily threw his register onto the floor. He had dismissed the class and let them stay off school the whole day, because they were too focused on bottom jokes to even concentrate on their lessons. When he went to bed that night, he sighed to himself. “All my students think about nowadays is poo and bottoms,” he said quietly, before he turned out the light and went to sleep.
The next day, Dr Skulley went into class. All the pupils were quiet. “Right, this time let’s try to get some sense into you,” said Dr Skulley as he picked up the register. “Luke?” But Luke was eating some crisps. Resus was eating M&M’s. Cleo was eating honey-covered locusts. Luella was drinking pure white milk. Six was eating a chocolate cake. Dixon was eating marshmallows. Farp was eating sprouts and beans on a plate. Mia was eating biscuits. Captain was eating sandwiches with lettuce, cheese and tomato. Jasper was eating Haribo sweets. Amy was drinking some orange juice. Charlie was eating a cheese and tomato pizza. Well, both of them begin with CH after all! Pepper was eating grapes. “WHAT?!” screamed Dr Skulley, “This isn’t Eat At School Day!” Everyone stopped eating and looked up at Dr Skulley. They all groaned, and some swallowed the food that remained in their mouths. “Now put your food back in your lunchboxes and let’s continue with the day’s work.” Everyone groaned again as they put their lunch back into their lunchboxes, and Dr Skulley began writing on the blackboard.
On Thursday, Dr Skulley was feeling a bit shaky and nervous as he tiptoed into the classroom. The whole class was giggling under their breaths. Once Dr Skulley picked up the register, the entire class burst into fits of laughter. Dr Skulley nearly dropped the register, but managed to grab hold of it in double quick time. Once the laughter died down, Dr Skulley took a collective breath and said, “Right, I want everyone to be on their best behaviour this time. Luke?” Luke made a rude noise. Resus followed with an even ruder noise. Cleo waggled her tongue about. Mia put her finger up her nose and made a burp-like noise. Soon, all the class were making the rudest noises a teacher could hear. Dr Skulley screamed and banged his head on the desk. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” he cried…
On Friday, Dr Skulley was too scared to go into the school, but he had to try. When he came in, he saw that Luke had armed himself with a hose, and all the class were giggling under their breaths. When Dr Skulley came in, Luke fired. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!” he cried, soaking wet with water. The class high-fived each other and cheered wildly. “That’s what you get for limiting all my favourite spare time activities!” called Luke. Dr Skulley looked at his register. It was soaking wet, and all the ink had run. “THAT’S IT!” screamed Dr Skulley. His class stopped cheering and became frightened. “I’VE HAD ENOUGH! LEAVE SCHOOL! LEAVE! LEEEEAAAAVE!!” Everyone left, gathering their stuff and exiting out the door. Dr Skulley sat on his desk, sopping wet, and cried. It wasn’t fair being a teacher, especially if you’ve been a laboratory skeleton.
On the weekend, Dr Skulley went round to Calypso’s house for tea. She had heard about Dr Skulley’s troubles and didn’t have trouble with her own pupils. “It’s just too stressful for me,” sighed Dr Skulley as he bit down onto a small chocolate cake, “Every time I try to take the register my pupils are too distracted. I try very hard to be strict towards my pupils, but I feel like time has taken its toll on my hands. What shall I do?” Calypso, always reassuring, gave advice. “I’ve taught my pupils the skills they need to live their lives while they play. I’m hoping you can do the same too.” “What?” asked Dr Skulley. “Let your class have fun while you take the register. I hate to sound like spoilers have just come early, but I think you should let your students embrace the happiness they have when they feel themselves.” Dr Skulley smiled slightly, and hugged Calypso. It was the right thing to do.
So, two days later, Dr Skulley walked into class happily, and saw all the students mucking around in class. He took the register, and this time, everyone was having fun as they called “Here!” one by one. But when it was Luke’s turn, he aimed the hose at Dr Skulley and squirted him with a jet of cold water. Dr Skulley screamed again and took a look at the register. It was wet again. Dr Skulley and his students laughed. “Oh my god, what a laugh!” he cried, “What do you say, class?”
“POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” everyone cried happily in unison. “Yes,” said Dr Skulley, “That’s what I think too.”
Sunday, 3 July 2022
Nature Wolf
Roaming through the lush, green forest is a naked werewolf boy. His name is Luke, and he’s exploring his natural territory. Resus, Cleo and I live there too. We’re all naked - save for Cleo who wears bandages - and we enjoy our wild lives in the forest. Luke roams it, searching for freedom and adventure wherever he goes. He comes across a rose bush with a single rose blooming out of it. He smells it. It has a lovely perfume scent. He picks the rose and touches it with his fingers. It has dark red petals, so silky and smooth. Its centre seems to be like a kiss.
Later, Luke and I are lying under a huge tree, the Adam & Eve of today. Luke gives me the rose. I smell it. It smells so gorgeous. I tickle him with the rose. He is so ticklish that he giggles and tries to push me away, but I just continue. I snuggle right up next to Luke, who kisses me on the cheek and nudges me lovingly. Luke and I are friends after all.
Luke wanders around the forest, searching for something else to do. He hears the sound of water falling in the distance, and follows it. The sound is joined by laughter. The laughter of me and my friends. Luke peers through the bushes and sees me, Resus and Cleo splashing each other in a big, cold, deep lake, near a waterfall. He is delighted, and races to join us, jumping right in. “Woohoo!” he yells, leaping into the water. He emerges and splashes Resus. I splash Cleo, who squeals in delight. Soon we are all splashing each other in the safe, cold water. We shower under the waterfall, feeling every little bit of the water run down our skin. We lie in the water and look up at the sky. It feels wonderful.
Daybook Success!
Woohoo! I've accomplished a major success today - I learnt to print off things from Daybook just by pressing the print button, and viola, the magic happens - just like a rabbit coming out of a hat. Or, a thousand rabbits coming out of a hat on a rainy day! I've done the Bluey cupcake recipe and my It's My Halloween story, now, what else shall I do if I choose to print?
It's My Halloween: Trust No Monster - Friday, October 1st
“Hi guys, GemmaMon here with another vlog update!” I cried out in a cheery way towards my camera. GemmaMon was my Youtube name. I’ve had it since I got my very own Youtube channel when I was 12. I’ve been making animated videos since I started secondary school. I do stop-motion videos of monster characters based on my favourite TV show Scream Street. When it got ruined by a batch of new episodes back during the pandemic, I was offended because it didn’t add to the charm of the original first series that aired before it. Then CBBC took it off the air, and after a week of five episodes from the original series, CBBC banned it entirely to make room for educational shows. The only thing I liked about the new episodes was the new characters Dr F and Six, who inspired me to do my Frankenstein’s monster character Binx and my mad scientist character Dr Hazel.
There are other characters I made out of clay, too. Those include Mega Wolf the werewolf, Glenda the vampire, Crane the Egyptian mummy, who has the spirit of the crane locked away inside her magical locket, Norman the totally disgusting zombie and Blair, a trainee witch with blue hair. Those animations also include a clay version of myself. We would go on all those amazing adventures together - we were pirates sailing on the seven seas. We were explorers or wild people in the jungle. We were ballerinas shooting towards stardom. We played with squirty octopus toys in the bath. Of course, I had to do all the voices for the characters. Sometimes, my friends Michael, John and Helen play voices for Mega Wolf and the others too.
“This is a very exciting time for your old friend Gemma - she’s going trick or treating on the Halloweekend.” I announced to my loyal viewers, “You might be wondering, how is she this excited to go trick or treating? Well, I’m going as a lion in my lion onesie. It may sound funny, but people go in onesies on Halloween, and-” “Gemma!” called a squeaky voice from outside my bedroom. I heard, and addressed the viewers watching. “Oops, sorry, my little sister Freya’s calling for me. Must go. This is GemmaMon, signing off!” I switched off the camera and dashed out the door to see Freya smiling sweetly at me. She wore a little red Minnie Mouse dress and ruby red hair clips, and wore little posh red shoes on her feet. A little Sylvanian Families rabbit coloured white and brown was tucked safely in her pocket.
“Would you like to see this exciting climbing tree I’ve found?” Freya asked. I sucked my teeth. I never heard of Freya climbing trees before. I’ve taken her rock climbing or to the climbing wall in the past, but now Freya’s developed the skills to climb. That was absolutely amazing, especially now that I’ve been to summer camp last Summer and braved the climbing wall. It was really tough, but Michael and Helen were at the bottom, cheering me on. With their encouragement, I made it to the top in double quick time. I got a Lion milk bottle top from one of the camp counsellors and an extra hamburger when it was teatime. I have never been so lucky in my entire life. I even vlogged at camp too, even though my mum Alena says I shouldn’t bring movie cameras to the campsite.
“Look, if it’s dangerous, I’m not playing your stupid games. If it’s the tree out in the backyard, it’s a big no to you!” I growled. “Oh, come on.” Freya said sarcastically, “It’s only in the neighbour’s yard. It won’t do any harm.” I thought about it for a minute. “Pleeeeasse?” begged Freya. “It’ll only take a few minutes, I swear!” “Alright, fine, let’s go to the neighbour’s yard.” I sighed, and lead her outside into the neighbour’s backyard. Mr and Mrs Vallena were usually away at work all year every year, because they left for work at 8:00AM, so now that we’re home from school, it gives us a good opportunity to climb the huge tree in their garden. It grew from a little acorn Mrs Vallena planted in the yard when she was a little girl, and it’s been growing ever since.
When we got to the tree, it was so grand that my jaw almost fell out of my mouth. It had so many branches it was perfect for climbing. I couldn’t resist, I tried to stop the urge but it was too late. “Race you up!” I cried. Later, I might realise it’ll all be a terrible mistake. Freya and I raced each other up the tree, climbing each branch higher and higher until we reached the top. Up on the middle branch, we stopped and took a break to look at the views from our new vantage point. “Wow! You can see everything from up here!” Freya gasped. “You can see my house, and there’s the school from up there.” I pointed to an old fashioned brown building with a bell hanging from the top of it. It was our school. Everyone in my school always acts crazy, even the teachers. And it ANNOYS ME TO DEATH!! My head teacher, Mr Sheeran, always performs pop songs to the class during assembly. Often the whole school begs him to play a song to them, just by chanting “Play us a song! Play us a song!” Oh my god, I hate Mr Sheeran. He thinks he’s Ed Sheeran’s long lost twin brother. Well, I guess you could say he has ginger hair like the man.
As I was thinking about how embarrassing Mr Sheeran was, I didn’t notice the branch crack from the weight of the two of us on the branch. “Er…Gemma?” asked Freya, pinching my arm. “Ow!” I cried, “Watch who you’re pinching!” Then, I realised. A loud splitting noise pierced through my ears. Then, there was a loud CRACK! I held onto the tree for dear life, and Freya started toppling down, down, down, until she reached the lower branch, which was still further away from the ground than she expected. “Hold on, Freya!” I called. “I can’t!” shouted Freya. She was slipping, and her little hands were sweating so that they were almost off the branch in a tick. Mr and Mrs Vallena rushed outside, and my mum and dad, Alena and Brian, raced out to see us stuck up there, crying for help. “What on earth is going on?” asked Mrs Vallena. “Gemma, get down from there!” called my mum. “I’ll try, but it’s Freya who needs rescuing. She lead me to this tree in the first place!”
“Freya! You bad, bad girl!” cried mum. “No more toy shopping for you!” The branch suddenly cracked, and Freya fell. Down she went, until….SNAP!!!
Mum cried. My dad, Brian, doesn’t cry quietly, he cries really loudly, as if he was either Timon or Pumbaa witnessing an emotional event happen in the Lion King films. It took about six firemen to get me down from the tree, and an ambulance came and put Freya in a stretcher. She was crying loudly. “Please don’t let them take me to hospital, Mum!” she bawled. “It’s a good job you called us,” said one of the doctors, “She has a fractured leg, so there’s nothing too serious about her injuries. It is vital you come with her to the hospital right away before she has her plaster cast put on.” “But…but will she be okay?” sobbed Mum. “She will be.” said the doctor. “Now get in the car and we’ll drive Freya to hospital.”
So that was it. Freya was driven off to hospital, and Mum had to come and comfort her. I watched, in tears and quite guilty over what I’ve done. “Well, I guess it’s just you and me,” said Dad to me. I at once began crying and raced back into my house, stomping up the stairs straight into my bedroom and slammed the door shut. “It’s all my fault!” I cried, stamping my feet on the room so that everything shook. “It’s all my fault! It’s all my fault!” Then I slammed myself down onto the bed and cried. Now that Freya was off to hospital, it might be my fault I raced her up the tree in the first place.
Saturday, 2 July 2022
Depressed Doug
Based on one of the jokes from the Scream Street joke book.
Doug knocked on the massive front door to the BBC studios. “Hello? Hey dude, I want to come in!” he called. It’s been two months since Scream Street’s awful second season aired for a week on CBBC, and now that the nightmare was over, Doug wanted them to air the proper Scream Street - the very first season. “Hello? I want to come in!” called Doug. At last, the doors opened and Doug made his way into the great big building.
Doug looked around him, but saw no sign of CBBC anywhere. It was early in the morning after all. Suddenly, he looked on the TV screens. CBBC was airing Pokemon! Doug gasped in shock! Usually, CBBC doesn’t air these kinds of things, but after they aired She-Ra, they decided to take it to a whole new ridiculous level by airing Pokemon on weekends on their channel! What a stupid decision! “Oh no!” screamed Doug, and raced down the corridor. He was running so fast that he almost missed the Hall Of Fame. There were pictures everywhere of CBBC stars holding up trophies or in group shots. One of the pictures was of Pikachu, Chimchar, Piplup and Turtwig. It was too much for Doug. He raced out of there and towards the desk of the head executive of CBBC.
“Oh, thank god you’re here, dude. Now, I would like to know about Scream Street. Are you going to air it this Halloween?” “Yep,” said the head executive. “Then what about Blue Peter? Will it still air on Thursdays?” “Thursdays are expired for Blue Peter now,” said the head executive, “I’m afraid it’ll have to air on Fridays from now on.” “WHAT?!” cried Doug. “That’s crazy! What about CBBC?! Will it end at 9:00PM like always this year?” “No, not this year. It’ll end at 7:00PM now.” Doug fell to his knees and screamed to the heavens.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”
Later, outside the BBC studios, Doug sat outside on a bench, staring out at the city, in tears over what happened. Pokemon was on CBBC, the channel had a different end time and Blue Peter was airing on Fridays instead of Thursdays. Doug preferred it when CBBC aired more British shows, when the channel ended at 9:00PM, when Blue Peter aired on Thursdays and had Lindsey and Radzi presenting and best of all, when they aired the first season of Scream Street. These thoughts were too emotional for Doug, and he started crying. It’s not likely for a zombie surfer dude to feel this emotional. He cried so hard that one of his eyes fell out.
The eye rolled across the ground and stopped at a white, furry foot. An orange paw picked it up. It was Mia, Bluey’s older buddy. She looked at the wet, tear-filled eye closely. “It looks like it belongs to Doug,” she said, and raced up to him. “Missed something?” she called, and Doug put his eye back into its socket. “Thanks, Mia,” he said. “What’s the matter?” she asked. “CBBC has been horrible to us Scream Street residents. Blue Peter is airing on Fridays, CBBC has a different end time, they’re airing Pokemon and they’re still not airing Scream Street!”
Two Ways To Snuggle More With Your Family
To Luke, Resus, Cleo and me, morning snuggles are extremely important on weekends, especially if you need some time for mindfulness. Think about it for two minutes, then try these activities with your child. You'll thank me afterwards.
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