Deep Water

The night sky was reflected upon the choppy waters of the cold, dark blue ocean, making it thrash and crash about like a wrecking ball destroying everything in its path, something only International Rescue can sort out for themselves, not just themselves, but for all the people in the world to notice, realise, understand. However, now, there are no cases for International Rescue to solve…not yet. There was just peace, quiet and prosperity among these violent waters.

Why?

Well, you’ll see why.

Deep underneath the cold, icy waters of the night-lit ocean, four simple figures swam gracefully in the ocean, feeling the pleasure of escaping the rules and regulations of civilised life and finding happiness among the gentle yet violent waters of the ocean. One was masculine, with blonde hair and beautiful eyes, and skin as smooth as a bank of ice.

The second figure was a little smaller in detail - his chest not as masculine as the first figure, but also a little weak, yet he is a strong swimmer. He wears glasses on the beach where we play and relax, but he takes them off when he swims with his friends. Speaking of which…

The third figure was as slender and soft, with satiny skin that matched the smoothness of the cold water. Her swimming was just as graceful as either Brains or Alan….or me. I’m the one who is enjoying swimming with them under these choppy midnight waters. I may be six years old, but I’m enjoying the whole freedom-filled stint with my three best friends - Brains, Alan and Tin Tin. They are the ones who can comfort me and protect me, even when in the water.

The water around us felt cold and dark, because the night was chilly and black, but we didn’t care. All we did know was we had the freedom and strength to do whatever we wanted in this water, and that’s okay, because the only source of happiness we found here was in nature.

We emerged up onto the surface, laughing and spluttering and squealing with joy. We were very cold, but we didn’t mind. We splashed each other and laughed loudly as we swam and splashed together in the icy water under the dark night sky. The stars twinkled as they watched over us, the thousand eyes of the night sky being the eyes of the Gods and constellations who allow us natural comfort in what we enjoy being around most.

The waves were medium sized, and they were a good height for jumping over - up and down. Up and down. Up and down. We were screaming with joy and laughter as we leapt almightily over the ocean waves, feeling them splash over us, causing our hair to drip in a sopping wet tone with seawater, and our skin to evaporate all of the water we got all over us. We laughed and high-fived each other, but then we saw that Brains was coughing, because he didn’t like large tidal waves and splashing in them.

So, we decided to go to the shallow part of the ocean, where there were no violent waves around. Never. Nada. Let’s compare this to a swimming pool you may have been to - when you go to the deep end, or have been interacting with a wave machine before, you feel all the thrill of splashing in the deepest, darkest depths of the water, with no one around to keep you company, all because you are a skilled swimmer, and you have been taught well. As you may have remembered, in another time, in another place, Lady Penelope taught me how to swim during swimming lessons in the local swimming pool, because I am homeschooled.

Even here, I have the complete freedom to swim in whichever part of nature I want, because as you know, Alan, Tin Tin, Brains and I live on a beautiful island in the middle of the sea. Now back to this whole swimming pool scenario - it’s much better when you swim in the shallow end, because it is safer, and there are less dangerous creatures there, such as starfish and small fish. The shallow end of the swimming pool is similar to that too, because you are accompanied by a parent or guardian, and you are weak, but you are still strong enough to get on your floaties and swim.

That’s exactly what happened to Brains. He may have had water in his ears, eyes, nose and mouth, but that’s okay - staying in the shallow end was much safer, and it gave him time to recover from what he experienced. The giant waves from the violent part of the ocean were too traumatising and loud for him, but the shallow end was much calmer for him and for all of us too. To Tin Tin especially, the loud waves made her ears hurt like crazy, because their roaring sounded like that of a jet engine, or either Thunderbird 1, 2 or 3 jetting into the sky. Scott, Virgil, if you hear this, I’ll drown you! Ya hear me?!

The Unusual Planet

It had been 3 hours since Thunderbird 3 crash landed on this strange planet. It was surrounded by an endless sea of sand, and some strange pterodactyl-like bird calls screeched across the land like someone who is crying out in pain. At least we survived, the four of us - Brains, Alan, Tin Tin and me.

In the heat of the day, I burst open the door to the escape hatch of Thunderbird 3, gasping for air, and then collapsing onto the ground. I coughed, and struggled to get myself up onto my feet again, as I looked around at the silent desert. “What is this place?” I croaked, sounding like a frog who had swallowed too much swamp water. Then, after a few minutes’ hesitation, I called out: “GUYS!” My voice echoed, and then, the echo was heard in reverse, like someone had hidden a reverbing machine under the planet’s surface.

There was no response. I tried to call out loudly again. “GUYS!” This time, a sign of life flickered from inside Thunderbird 3. Out came Alan, followed by Tin Tin and Brains. They were all in a daze following the crash, but luckily, none of them were injured, thank god. “Is everyone okay?” I asked. “I think I may have injured my leg a bit,” said Brains before collapsing onto his weak little bottom on the ground. “Still, where are we?” “I don’t know, but it must be a planet apart from the others on the star map.” said Tin Tin, wiping her sweaty brow.

“I don’t know what this planet is called either. Maybe we should make up names for this planet. Er…Planet Arabia?” I asked. Alan burst into a fit of laughter. “I knew you’d say that! Let me think…how about….Planet Sand.” This time, Tin Tin and I both laughed. “Good one! How about…” But then, our hilarious moment was cut off by a wail of pain from nearby. Brains was clutching his broken leg, rocking back and forth like some kind of mentally unstable person who had gone insane from no yogurt in the fridge.

“Brains!” we all cried together, and we ran to comfort him as he began crying pathetically, holding his painful leg. “You okay, Brains?” asked Alan. “Here, let me touch it.” “NO!” cried Brains. “Ouch…don’t touch it. It’s too painful.” “If only Venus was here,” I told Alan and Tin Tin, then she’d use her special Leg Bone Ointment.” “Always a relief when she uses that,” said Tin Tin. “Now, has anyone found the first aid kit yet?” Alan had re-entered Thunderbird 3 and was rummaging around for the first aid kit. After a few minutes, he got it right out of a door in the wall.

He ran back out to Brains, who was breathing very fast from the amount of pain he was experiencing. He opened the first aid kit and took out some bandages. Then he said: “Brains, take off your trousers. It’ll give me a better chance of tying these round your leg at a steady pace.” “But-” began Brains, but Alan gave him the most sly look a Tracy Brother could ever give.

“Er…okay,” he said, and he pulled off his trousers. Unbeknownst to him, they vanished with a gentle twinkling noise. Alan carefully and gently wrapped the bandages round Brains’ leg, and then tied it up so that Brains could not feel the pressure of his painful leg anymore. He then stood up and looked around. “If only we had some crutches…”

As if on cue, a huge alien pterodactyl like bird flew overhead and dropped some wooden stick like crutches that it was carrying in its huge rectangular beak. Tin Tin screamed at the sight of it. “WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT?!” she screeched at the top of her lungs. “Whatever that thing is, I don’t want to know about its species.” I said, as we watched Brains finally stand up and walk using these stick like crutches. “For some reason,” I continued, “I feel like everything we ask for seems to come true on this planet, yet there’s still signs of alien life that seem to obey our demands.”

“So…there’s aliens on there that obey every command we give them?” asked Alan. “I hate to be ridiculous, but that actually sounds like a great idea. Now, if only we knew what lies ahead of us.” But it was too late. I already ran ahead of the others, calling “Follow me, this planet may have more realms than we have ever explored before!” Tin Tin immediately ran after me, while Brains hopped onto Alan’s back as he gave him a piggyback ride across the vast sands of the desert.

Hours passed for what felt like minutes, and soon it was getting really, very hot. Our clothes were dripping with galleons of sweat, and our underarms were completely drenched. We couldn’t walk any further, and Alan was on the verge of collapsing to the ground because Brains was too heavy for him to hold. “Guys….can we…stop?” I puffed, my face red from the intense heat. “Of course, we needed that rest. My clothes are as wet and sticky as a swamp,” breathed Alan out of exhaustion. “Mine too,” agreed Brains. “I’m in too,” said Tin Tin, “I’m so tired.” “And my clothes are wet and sticky too. Off with our clothes, everyone.”

And with that, everyone took off their sweaty and sticky clothes, until we were all bare and unclothed, and our skin had the freedom to breathe. Brains didn’t mind, no trousers meant his bandaged leg was showing anyway.

Green Grapes Make You Sick

“Alright, Sybil, settle down,” said Lady Penelope as she began her homeschool lesson for the day. I sat in front of the big blackboard she had in the schoolroom she made for me. The cosy scent of vanilla filled the room, and she had three different jars on the table - one of strawberry jam, one of blackcurrant jam and one of a strange green substance that I had never noticed before. “Hmmmmm…mummy, what’s that green stuff?” I asked, waving my hand in the air like an eager school student - except I wasn’t at school, I was homeschooled.

“That’s Spinach, Sybil.” replied ‘er ladyship. “You know how you always eat Spinach for dinner every night?” she asked. I nodded. Penelope gave a cheeky smile. “And you know how Parker used to dress up in different clothes and be different people to get you to eat your greens?” I giggled loudly. A cry of “I ‘eard that, milady!” could be heard from Parker from the other room. Once there was silence again, Lady Penelope continued.

She cleared her throat and said: “This glass jar of spinach represents a jar of green grape jam. Do you know why we don’t get green grape jam?” I shook my head. “Why?” I asked. “Because back when they invented jam, it definitely was not a good idea to create jam made out of green grapes, because of how revolting it tasted.” “Oooooh,” I gasped, “Tell me more!”

“Back in 1928, a group of Kansas farmers were stomping on grapes the create a new substance named jam, and some were even being used for wine. However, in some cases, one very stupid farmer was stomping green grapes, and they accidentally got turned into jam. During a test tasting, children all over the USA experienced vomiting and nausea from trying that revolting green grape jam, and parents wrote a letter saying how this new form of jam was damaging their health.

Soon, the first agents of Spectrum - that came before Captain Scarlet - came to realise that the Mysterons were forcing the farmer to make this revolting jam to poison the children of America, so they sent their most loyal agent, Captain Red, to investigate. When he looked deeper into what caused the farmer to make this disgusting substance, he discovered that the Mysterons had put Mars Prickles all over his feet, which burned whenever he walked. It hurt so much he was forced to stomp green grapes and add some worms and other revolting bugs into the mixture by Captain Black’s grandfather, Captain Blood Red, who was the first to be possesed by the Mysterons.”

“Eeeuurgh!” I cried, feeling more disgusted than I had ever been, “That’s so gross! Can’t you move on to what compares Mysteron jam with the two other jars of jam?” “I think she’s right, ma’am,” said a voice from the doorway. We both looked, and a familiar figure dressed in red was standing outside. “Captain Scarlet!” I cried, “You’ve come to join the lesson!” “Actually, of course I have,” said Captain Scarlet, “Everyone in Spectrum was making a lot of noise during a meeting about what the Mysterons possessed in America’s jam substance, so I came to join in the lesson too.” “Do take a seat, Captain,” said Lady Penelope, “And let us continue with the lesson.”

Captain Scarlet took a cushion and made himself comfortable as Lady Penelope continued. “Now Sybil, Captain Scarlet, you see those two jars there?” We both nodded in agreement. “This one holds strawberry jam, and this one holds blackcurrant jam. These jars of jam are safe to spread on toast, because they haven’t been contaminated by the Mysterons. Green grape jam isn’t safe to eat, because that’s, according to most Spectrum agents, Mysteron poison.” Captain Scarlet shot his hand up in the air.

“You have a question for me, Captain?” said Lady Penelope. “Well, ma’am, according to Colonel White I think that’s where we got the idea for our catchphrase from. Our catchphrase used to be ‘Spectrum Is Black’, but due to Captain Black being possessed by the Mysterons when I became indestructible, they renamed it to ‘Spectrum Is Green’ so we won’t promote poisoned Mysteron substances in kids.”

“Very good, Captain Scarlet,” smiled Lady Penelope, clapping politely, and I gave a wink to my friend, to which he winked back. Penelope went on, “Now, there was a scandal on Channel 4 on Halloween 2004 when they re-aired the 100 Greatest Scary Moments.” Captain Scarlet ran to hide behind the sofa, screaming loudly. He hated that special, and so did I. “Mummy!” I cried, “Would you please tone it down? Captain Scarlet is frightened!” “Oh dear, oh dearie me,” said a shocked Lady Penelope, “Very sorry, Captain.” “No worries, ma’am,” Captain Scarlet said before hiding behind the sofa again.

“Leeeet’s let him hide,” I said. “It’s quite okay for him to take some alone time, it’s no good masking.” “Does that mean it’s break time already?” I asked. “Of course, we’ll give him enough time to recover from the incident of Channel 4 on Halloween 2003.”

Blueberry Muffins - Part 1: The Softness Of A Sick Day

When I’m sick - not with something dreadful like Covid, but a simple common cold - a little softness can be inserted into the puzzle piece holes of my day to make me all better. I snuggle into bed and listen to a story on my Alexa, have a nice, warm drink of hot cocoa and cuddle my plushes Pink Teddy, Pingu, Simba and Georgina, and think about what I’m going to do once I’m better. However, as I’m autistic it’s no good masking. A way of healing is spending alone time when it all gets too loud and overstimulating.

Soft

The joys of softness can take you away from a life full of stress and fear, and transport you to a world where every little thing on Earth grinds to a standstill, and only cosiness is held in your arms. When I think of my bed, I think of it as a safe Heaven where all my worries fade away and ideas come to me when my head hits the pillow. Softness is a form that melts away all your troubles and worries and turns them into sweet chewy candy for you to snack on after breakfast next morning.

Sharp

Once, a glass of water broke in my hands and I very badly cut myself. The glass itself is like an enemy towards our skin, which weeps out not tears, but blood when hurt. This is equivalent to being bullied in real life - when someone hurts you, it’s through our tears that we find support in the ones we love. Talking through something with a trusted adult can heal everything we’ve been hurt by and turn it into a learning experience that stays with us forever for our whole lives, before the day we die. God bless you, blood.

Forest

The forest is a magical and natural place for escaping when you’re feeling stressed. Clean water, lush greenery, all the flowers you can surround yourself in (as long as there aren’t any bees around)...just perfect. If you want to survive when you live in the forest, however, always take your favourite soft toy and a few chocolate sandwich biscuits in case you get hungry. No greater hug is found for stress than in nature, where you can be so positive it’s hard to decide to go home again. So soft…so natural…so comforting. The forest is like green heaven.

Cut

And just like that, Lady Penelope cut Parker’s strings off. It can upset anyone who is familiar with Thunderbirds in the ‘90s, but DVLA horrifyingly abused Parker by letting him be aware that he’s a puppet and not a human. Inside, those puppets can act like they’re human, but it’s all about the worth and skill you need to discover your inner human nature - you don’t need to research early apes to discover human worth, all you need now is faith, trust and a little bit of belief to discover there’s a puppet inside your human body.

Learn The Language Of Your Ancestors

Walking With Beasts is more than a story about the rise of mammals - sabre tooths, basilosauruses, Leptictidium and the like - it’s about how our ancestors evolved from nocturnal, frightened monkeys to brave, strong humans we were today. It’s a show which brings human worth into our lives, bringing realistic heart and peril as thoughts in our wandering minds as we see these CGI beasts running around eating each other and fighting every peril that comes their way. There’s no series as bloody and as philosophical as Walking With Beasts. Rawr!

Where Are The Beasts?

When we want to learn the language of our ancestors, it can be very tricky to link it up with our sensual love of some scenes from Walking With Beasts, mainly, the human backstory that evolves throughout the mammals' history. The nocturnal godinotia, the apidium, the Australopithecus and especially the humans who came when the mammoths arrived on the plain, all ending with that scene of humans in a museum.

Picture this, right: you're watching Walking With Beasts in 2001 and you don't know what to make of some scenes, like the ants eating the baby bird. Gross! Who'd want to see that? Giant ants eating a baby bird could give you nightmares! But what you're really falling for is the Earthquake scene from the first episode - strong music, loud shrieks from the apes, the gas making its way through the forest and killing every animal in sight - just enough to make you grip the edge of your seat in horror and excitement.

It's exciting, okay, but you're very sorry for those who had to live through this terrible disaster, mainly the monkey characters. What gave you this kind of relief is that when you watch the fourth episode, the Godinotia have evolved to Apidium, who were frightened because a shark ate one of their own kind, and then Australopithecus, who were brave enough not to run from predators, but outsmart them using all the technology and tools they had before we even had AI or smartphones.

It may be stupid to you, but those apes really shed light on what us humans grew to appear as today. They walked upright, they made tools for themselves, they even fended off a Dinofelis! Brave monkeys. However, one thing still bugs me: how are you going to live this moment if you're too stressed to even find anything fascinating?

It's not just about watching the series, it's about developing a technique you will need to understand what this series meant to you. Walking With Beasts isn't just about mammal evolution, it's also about human philosophy and peril, giving us a better chance to look deeper inside our hearts and find out more about ourselves. And that's where Walking With Cavemen comes in - the backstory proved so popular that our ancestors got their own spinoff series - except, it's not narrated, it has a host: Dr Robert Winston, who also presented The Human Body.

So in order to understand what makes you deeply human, when you have reflection time, try this strategy: keep a diary of all the times you found out you were human enough to know everything that happened around you: your emotions, the sensations you were feeling, and the ways and strategies you planned solutions to your problems. The beasts will thank you la-

*STATIC*

But wait! There's more!

Actually, there isn't more.

For God's sake!

How To Make: A Big Book Of Draff Facts!

It's a common fact we know from CBeebies' series Pablo: autistic children know a lot of facts, and so does Pablo's friend Draff. He has quite a job, trying to write down every single fact whether real or made up, he knows about.

Which is why I present: the Big Book Of Draff Facts. It's a book full of your very own facts, whether real or made up, about something or someone you love. And I'm going to show you how to make it!

You will need:

• A green notebook (or any other colourful notebook for that matter)
• Some colourful pens
• Some stickers
• Some washi tape

1. First thing's first: decorate the borders of the page with a coloured washi tape of your choice. For this demonstration, we'll choose red. When you've finished each side, cut off the tape using a pair of scissors.
2. Decorate the top of the page with some stickers of your choosing. If I were you, I'd choose some Disney stickers.
3. Get out the colourful pens and write down what you know and don't know. We're going to colour-code these facts: yellow for real facts, and blue for facts you can make up.
4. Continue for the next few pages.
5. And viola! You've got a whole book of facts, just like one Draff has!

And, you may hate me for saying this, don't forget to watch Pablo on iPlayer. If you don't want to see Pablo's grown up adventures at school, then I suggest you see old episodes of Pablo where he discovers what matters most to his childhood and his needs when he has autism.

All of us have different needs, and judging by Pablo's needs and wisdom, this Draff book will do you good to keep up with knowledge you make up and some you know. Good luck!

Squeak Presents: The Aldabra Tortoise

Hi! I'm Squeak! After deep and serious thoughts and much consideration, I have finally decided to let these old websites from Hutchinson's legendary web directory show their little cute faces - like mine, really, because it's cute as a button as a mouse as a rodent - like this! Animal Bytes, featuring the Aldabra Tortoise. Stitch told me these creatures aren't in Hawaii, but you can check it out by clicking the link below! Have fun!

https://web.archive.org/web/20000301100126/http://www.seaworld.org/animal_bytes/aldabra_tortoiseab.html

Tired Brains: A Poll