A host of remarkable things happened to me today. Which things, you ask? Let me explain...
First off, since red meat is told to give you colon cancer, I decided to switch to vegan meat and chicken instead. Sure, Quorn's cocktail sausages taste of pig manure, but of course, Wall's Vegan Sausage Rolls and ASDA's new Chicken Sausages tasted better than before. Sure, they may taste like they've been made with vegetables from a compost heap, but still, they tasted wonderful as a piece of pink chocolate cake. And still will be!
Announcement number 2: I was extremely busy. How busy, you ask? Well, I tidied and sorted everything until Mum had quite enough, stating the house looked like something out of TLC's Hoarders - even using the horrendously annoying subtitles. I sorted out which things to keep, donate and throw away, and I made piles in my den: some to throw away, and some to donate to charity.
Announcement number 3: I just made the most genius purchase in my life: ordering a pair of shower goggles. It is pink, and it has eyelashes on it, so much so that I named it Belinda. Mum thought I was an absolutely genius shopper, getting something that can help me when I'm in the shower.
Oh my god, you all should be proud of me! I'm a genius little shoppy-wopper. Right?
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