Mummy, I Hate Football

Football came into my head all of a sudden, and luckily I turned to Lady Penelope, my mother, to explain it all. She said that football isn't nice for my head, heart, body and soul, and that she'll treat me to things that are suitable for my four corners of the mind. She told me that life doesn't always have to be like a Michael Bay Transformers film, and that when we're together, we feel like we're the only people in the room who love each other more than anything else in the world. I pleaded with her not to let Mum and Grandma put the football on, and she dearly agreed, letting me know that her voice is much better than loud screaming and shouting any day.