Lost In The Countryside

One morning, Lady Penelope, Parker, Sherbet and my toddler self decide to take a walk and have a picnic in the countryside. However, en route to the woods, we find ourselves lost and must go on a journey to survive the treacherous wilderness - and will Alan brave his first solo mission to rescue us?

Letters To Lady Penelope

Written entirely in letters to Lady Penelope whilst living in a slum in an empty part of Britain, my adult self recounts Lady Penelope's many attempts to raise me, all while encountering the difficulties of parenthood and motherhood, with Parker's help.

The Trials Of Furaha & Orko

When Furaha and Orko are blamed for a crime they didn't commit, they run away from the police into the wild, where they must learn to survive together in the barren wilderness. Kiburi and Ua must band together with their friends to find them.

Pillow Fight

Lady Penelope and I sleep peacefully

Surrounded by crisp white sheets

Lady Penelope's such a nice woman,

The nicest you'll ever meet

But then, WHACK! A pillow thrown over her?

Parker is laughing and Sherbet is yapping

Lady Penelope and I wake up,

It has surely ended our napping!

We hit each other with pillows

While Sherbet barks with glee

Just a tight knit family laughing and yelling,

Lady Penelope, Parker and me

But then Parker falls right off

And lands on the floor below

Lady Penelope and I hug and cheer

Our pillow fight's fun, you know!

Spider Man's Bath

One day Spider Man came to me

When I called him on the phone

He said, “Why not set up a bath around me

Right here in your own home?”

I put a Spider Man bubble blower up first

Then a Spider Man dressing gown

A few simple bath bombs and coloured lights

Never made me frown

I used a blue bath chalk and some plastic finger puppets

Then plastic figurines of superheroes

I hung a plastic Spidey on the edge of the bath

And were the stickers not good? ZERO!

And for a finishing touch I put a foam Spider Man

Into the bath itself

Here ‘e his, relaxing like a chilled dude

Straight from my son’s toy shelf

Now while my son was having a bath

Spider Man was watching outside

His Spidey Senses are tingling,

“I hope he enjoys the ride!”

I'm Always With You

This poem is for you, Lady Penelope...

We've always been together

Since the day I was born

I was just a baby back then,

To protect me you've sworn

You've been busy on missions,

But on some days you didn't care

Because when you spent time at home

For me, you were always there

From cuddles in the morning to warm baths at night,

You've been my mother all these years

You've cared for me with lots of love

And helped me vanquish my fears

This poem is made for you, mum,

So you can finally see

That there's no better girl in the world

Than someone as beautiful as me.

Friends I'd Like To Spend My Day Off With

1.Lady Penelope

2.Parker

3.Cannonball

4.Sparky

5.Timon & Pumbaa

6.Furaha

7.Orko

8.Optimus Prime

9.Brains

10.Alan

11.Tin Tin

12.Titan

13.Marina

14.Paddington Bear

15.Father Christmas (Raymond Briggs)

16.Mr Happy

17.Randall The Dinosaur

18.Create-A-Crittles

19.Strongimals

20.Tenderheart Bear

21.Minty

Friends I'd Like To Take With Me To The Bounce Place

1.Furaha

2.Orko

3.Optimus Prime

4.Lady Penelope (2015)

5.Parker (2015)

6.Sherbet

7.Big, Little & Dog

8.Dougal

9.Brian

10.Dylan

11.Ermintrude

12.Mr Rusty

13.Father Christmas (Raymond Briggs)

14.Mr Happy

15.Mr Tickle

16.Mr Strong

17.Little Miss Fickle

18.Timon & Pumbaa

19.Mushu

20.Fritz The Cat & His Three Girlfriends

21.Winnie The Pooh

22.Snarf (2011)

Bob's Sick Day

I am not going out with Bob today

It's because he's ill, and that's okay

I have once been ill before

I once had a cold and now my head is sore

But don't worry about Bob, he's got it all sorted out

He's never alone with his kids and wife about

He's watching his son making videos online

And even his toddler's doing just fine

Maybe he'll spend time talking to his wife

His partner in the crime, the love of his life

While his toddler watches Raa Raa The Noisy Lion,

Bob stays home and I'm not lying

In one half hour I'm heading to bed

To stop my achy, weary head

It's because of stress that my head is in pain,

So I'm never going to buy another phone again!

Furaha's Headache

Furaha one day had a sore head

From the moment she woke up and got out of bed

Orko and her parents cared for her so

How did they care for her? About time you know!

Furaha lay on the sofa and groaned

While Orko gave her a teddy he owned

He fed her warm and nourishing soup

Which sent her eyeballs into a loop

She lay on the sofa and rested in peace

Orko covered a blanket over her, and at least

She got some rest, a little luxury too

"There," said Orko, "Just me and you."

Orko snuggled beside Furaha

And wrapped her arms around her tight

See? We knew he loved her

Her headache will go tonight.

Kids' Shows That Are More Addictive Than Cocomelon

Bluey

Thunderbirds

Stingray

Captain Scarlet

Joe 90

Fireball XL5

Transformers Armada

Transformers Cybertron

My Little Pony (G3)

He Man (2002)

Digimon Adventure

Rex The Runt

A Town Called Panic

Old Bear Stories

Teletubbies

Kipper The Dog

Percy The Park Keeper

Danger Mouse (1981)

Thunderbirds Are Go (2015)

Scream Street

Strange Hill High

BBC Video - Clangers and The Magic Roundabout VHS UK 1991 Promo

Spooky's Favourite Things

1.Werewolves

2.Vampires

3.Egyptian mummies

4.Monsters

5.Cheesy horror movies

6.Burglars

7.Bad dreams

8.Squeaky doors

9.Spooky noises

10.Tarantulas

11.Vampire bats

12.The dark

13.People yelling "BOO!"

14.Howling wolves

15.Haunted houses

16.100 Greatest Scary Moments

17.Spooky clowns

18.Spiders

19.Snakes

20.Hyper realistic imagery

21.Scary expressions on people's faces

22.Gooey, sticky, disgusting food