Pages

Sunday, 26 January 2025

Sun & Snow

Lady Penelope and me together

We play outside whatever the weather

But on this day it's snowing, hooray!

So together we run outside to play


We sit on a bench, our bottoms warmed by jeans

And talk together about what it means

To be as beautiful and glam as my mum

As we listen to the Winter wind hum


My mum and I have snowball fights

And make snow angels lying in tender white

We build a snowman, which is a bit of a larker

Because, my friends, he looks like Parker!


When Parker came out, he was surprised to see

He said, "That snowman does look a bit like me."

He tried to talk with it, but he just wouldn't respond

He was just as stiff as a frozen pond!

Bob's Windy Day

Bob is taking me out today

It’s the aftermath of Storm Eowyn, they say

The storm may be strong, but it’s nearly gone

And off into the car we go for some fun


First we go to the Co-Op in Invergordon

And buy a hot cocoa drink with maple flavouring

It’s just right, so I slurp it all down

This is the taste of everything!


Through a storm we drive to the oil rigs

The waters are choppy, the rain is big

The storm rages on, while Bob groans, “God,

My root canal infection hurts so bad…”


So with no choice but to take me home,

Bob decides not to leave me alone

He drives first to ASDA to get me some lunch

And when I get home, there’s ASDA to munch


And when he gets home, Bob looks through his photos

And sees his children surrounded by cutesy logos

He cries a little and sheds a tear,

For he knows he has nothing to fear

The Valentine Bouquet

Cut the pool noodle in half

It isn’t red? Now that’s a laugh

Red squirty paint and painty melty cheese

A Bluey soft toy that’s a sure breeze


Spider Man markers, Bingo too

Fruit and vegetable Spider Man juice

A Hot Wheels race car and some M&M’s,

But wait! That’s not how it ends,


Put them together in one big bouquet

Wrap them in red paper, and okay!

You’ve got a lovely Valentine bouquet

Ready to give to your son this Valentine’s Day!

Characters Who Would Enjoy Playing Keepy Uppy

1.Huckle Cat
2.Lowley Worm
3.Robert the robot
4.Zoonie
5.Mitch The Monkey
6.Kipper
7.Tiger
8.Spot The Dog
9.Maisy
10.Paddington Bear
11.The Teletubbies
12.Andy Pandy
13.Teddy
14.Looby Loo
15.Bill & Ben
16.Slowcoach
17.Pry
18.Scamper
19.Scuff
20.Tad The Frog
21.Whoops The Worm
22.Weed

The Gentlest Characters

1.Lady Penelope
2.Parker
3.Brains
4.Tin Tin
5.Alan
6.Mitch The Monkey
7.Mike Mercury
8.Venus
9.Robert the robot
10.Optimus Prime (Armada)
11.Orko
12.Zecora
13.Marina
14.Kala
15.Vixen
16.Jetfire
17.Scattershot
18.Hot Shot
19.Override
20.Scourge
21.Leobreaker
22.Snarl

Saturday, 25 January 2025

People Who'd Like To Swim With Cannonball

1.Lady Penelope
2.Luke, Resus & Cleo
3.Orko
4.Optimus Prime
5.Jetfire
6.Furaha
7.Kipper
8.Tiger
9.Pig & Arnold
10.Parker
11.Brains
12.Alan
13.Tin Tin
14.Randall The Dinosaur
15.The Create-A-Crittles
16.Marina
17.Oink the seal
18.Titan
19.Steve & Venus
20.Robert the robot
21.Zoonie
22.Baloo the bear

Hand In Hand (Pitch)

Friends' Hair I Want Clip To Style

1.Lady Penelope
2.Ariel
3.Cinderella
4.Belle
5.Jasmine
6.Snow White
7.Tiana
8.Abbey Mallard
9.Patch
10.Clover
11.Bon Bon
12.Bright Eyes
13.Melody
14.Minty
15.Pinkie Pie
16.Rainbow Dash
17.Sparkleworks
18.Kimono
19.Barbie
20.Chelsea
21.Skipper

little talks - of monsters and men (slowed + reverb)

Things My Support Worker Might Be Doing At Home Due To His Root Canal Infection

1.Applying soothing cream on his gums
2.Eating light, chewy foods
3.Watching his oldest son make Youtube videos
4.Watching Raa Raa and In The Night Garden with his youngest son
5.Making dinner for the family
6.Planning my next trip out next Tuesday
7.Wondering if Captain Scarlet and Fireball XL5 are on Talking Pictures TV this afternoon
8.Watching the rain with his children
9.Planting flowers on his hamster's grave
10.Playing tennis with Mew in the garden
11.Having conversations with his wife
12.Watching the news when the kids are napping
13.Searching online for more Elf On The Shelf ideas for next Christmas
14.Reporting to my friends' town via an email
15.Doubting whether I should go out with him next or not
16.Having conversations with his childhood friend Orko
17.Watching old episodes of Scooby Doo, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Power Rangers in secret
18.Phoning his mum
19.Playing with his children
20.Relaxing due to his infection

Characters I Would Love To See Caught On Camera

1.The Strongimals
2.The Create-A-Crittles
3.Randall The Dinosaur
4.Dick Spanner
5.Charlene (from Neighbours)
6.Purple Ronnie
7.Space Ghost
8.Moltar
9.Zorak
10.Lady Penelope
11.Parker
12.Brains
13.Alan
14.Tin Tin
15.Marina
16.Oink the seal
17.Titan
18.Steve & Venus
19.Zoonie
20.Robert the robot
21.Spot The Dog
22.Maisy Mouse

Things I Want Swirly To Turn Me Into

1.A calm person
2.Lady Penelope
3.Parker
4.Vince
5.Optimus Prime
6.Orko
7.Mitchell
8.Becky
9.Templeton
10.Barbara Ann Kipfer
11.Noddy
12.Postman Pat
13.Fireman Sam
14.Pingu
15.Big Bird
16.Orinoco Womble
17.Funshine Bear
18.Tenderheart Bear
19.Igglepiggle
20.Taromaru
21.Pikachu
22.Baloo the bear

Scenes From The Spirit Of Christmas

1.Furaha, Orko and Optimus dancing through Summery vacation scenes
2.Furaha and her friends ending up in a pool in California, where Optimus becomes a chick magnet
3.Furaha, Orko and Optimus share a well done steak, some chips and beer and become drunk
4.Furaha, Orko and Optimus enjoy their swim in the freezing waters until they see a shark attack a seal and run for their lives, causing Furaha to get a cold.
5.Furaha, Orko and Optimus going through all the letters from children around the world together.
6.Furaha, Orko and Optimus relax in the swimming pool.
7.Optimus gets drunk and starts partying with the people in the Scottish pub.
8.Furaha has a nightmare of hallucinatory things such as her jaw falling out and her teeth turning into smaller lioness cub.
9.Furaha, Orko and Optimus watching a ballet show from a balcony in the theatre.
10.Furaha and Orko share a ginormous ice cream in a French cafe
11.Upon their entrance to France, they pass an enormous jet plane which sends Optimus' vehicle mode crashing into the lake far below.
12.Furaha gets diarrhoea from eating too much food, and Optimus has to take her to the toilet multiple times, resulting in her wearing black knickers with a period pad and all the tourists laughing at her.