Zoonie the Lazoon has never been one for subtlety. Whether he’s bouncing around the Fireball XL5 crew with his chirpy “Welcome home, my heroes!” or zooming in at precisely the wrong time to throw everyone off balance, the little creature has a way of making himself known. But nothing—and I mean nothing—has quite rocked the Space City gossip orbit like the recent news that Zoonie has gotten a tattoo.
Yes, you read that right. A tattoo.
And not just any tattoo, but the name of someone he met a mere three days ago. The ink, reportedly etched in radiant Lazoonian script (a language only he and possibly Venus claim to understand), glows slightly in ultraviolet light, like some lovesick firefly trapped under his fuzzy skin.
Now, of course, this sparks a thousand questions, the first being: Who is this person? Sources close to Steve Zodiac claim Zoonie fell head over tiny heels for a charming flower seller on New Mars—an enigmatic figure with lilac fur, six fingers, and a voice like melted strawberry jam. She apparently gave Zoonie a cosmic daisy and called him “sparkle-paws” before vanishing into the violet mist. And that was enough. That was all it took. Three days later, boom—Zoonie walks into the Space City rec room with a freshly inked name glowing across his side, chirruping wildly and twirling in giddy loops.
Steve, predictably, spat out his nutrient coffee. Venus blinked twice and muttered something about hormones. Matt Mattics just said, “Well, I’ll be…”
And while Professor Matic is busy wondering if Lazoonian skin can even handle human-style ink, the rest of us are left wondering what drove Zoonie to such a bold, baffling move. Is this a genuine act of intergalactic love? A temporary obsession that’ll fade as fast as a Martian mirage? Or is it simply Zoonie being Zoonie—barreling into the world with all the impulse control of a toddler on a sugar high?
It’s not like we haven’t seen impulsive decisions in space before. There was that time Venus tried to redecorate the Fireball’s cockpit with floral curtains, or when Steve once shaved off his eyebrows during a bet with Commander Zero. But this? This is different. This is permanent. Inked. Etched. Immortalised on skin until Zoonie sheds his fur in a seasonal moult.
There’s something almost poetic about it, though. In a universe of constant motion—planets spinning, ships zooming, orders barked and dangers lurking—Zoonie paused long enough to feel. He met someone, he connected, and he did what no one else on XL5 dared to do: he committed. Even if it was absurd. Even if it was naive. He committed to that moment. To that person. To that daisy-scented flash of magic under the stars.
And honestly, isn’t that kind of beautiful?
Sure, everyone’s laughing now. Jock joked about covering it up with a tattoo of a nebula. Steve's been seen googling "Tattoo removal for Lazoons" when he thinks no one’s watching. But give it time. Maybe that flower seller meant more than any of us will ever understand. Or maybe, in a week, Zoonie will be chirping “I made a mistake!” and begging for a trip back to New Mars to talk things over.
But for now, Zoonie struts through Space City like the embodiment of pure, unfiltered devotion. A tiny fuzzball with a glowing name on his side and not a single regret in his heart.
And you know what?
Good for him.
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