Monday, 21 December 2020

Scream Street Bites - Lazy Christmas

[Luke, Resus, Cleo, Luella, Six and I are lying on the floor in the living room, surrounded by empty plates and mugs.]
ME: Boy, that was one succulent feast we had going on there.
RESUS: I couldn't eat another thing.
LUELLA: Those cocktail sausages are, like, so delicious. [burps]
ME: Yeah. So...er...what do you plan on doing this Christmas, Luke?
LUKE: Trying to catch up with Bishop at Strange Hill, trying to see what's going on with him.
ME: Aren't you forgetting about our date on Boxing Day?
LUKE: No, no-no-no, I haven't forgotten.
ME: Wait - no one dates on Boxing Day, they spend time with their families and throw their paper and cardboard away in the rubbish.
CLEO: They do date, sometimes they invite their girlfriends over and BOOM! It's a perfect family Christmas.
RESUS: Is there any food left?
ME: Well, there are some mince pies and mulled wine in the kitchen.
LUKE: Good.
ME: Buuut that's where Dig and Lulu are.

DIG: [drinking mulled wine]
LULU: Are you going to get drunk?
DIG: Shuddup! I'm born to drink things that aren't dog water!
LULU: But you've left a big puddle on the floor....any chance I'd have a mince piiieeeeeee....[chows down on a mince pie]
DIG: Me too! [chows down on mince pie] Now I'm thinking they're not made of meat.
LULU: Me neither. I'd rather fancy a nice juicy sausage roll with blood poured over it.
DIG: Or cocktail sausages. Unless...
BOTH: We can raid the fridge!

[Eating sounds can be heard from the kitchen. Resus gets up and heads into the room, only to find Lulu and Dig with terrible tummy ache.]
RESUS: Oh my god, Lulu! SYBILLLLLLLLLLL!!!
ME: Just ignore them, Resus, they'll eat whatever they want! It is Christmas after all!
RESUS: Oh. Yeah, you're right. Good girl, Lulu. [exits the room]
LULU: [burps] Nobody has a hearty appetite like me! He-he-he-he-he-heeeeee!!

Watch The Grumpus on iPlayer:

No comments:

Post a Comment