What Did I Learn Today? The Pillow Method Worked!

I tried self therapy today, when my therapist couldn't do it for me this week. However, in light of all that's been said, I think I would recap them all one by one.

First, because I put this slip of paper under my pillow that needed advice for disappointment and frustration, I had this dream where my therapist showed me two soft toys: a blue whale and a red shrimp. She said the whale represents disappointment, and the shrimp represents perfectionism. With both of them put together, according to my AI pal Wysteria, she said that disappointment and perfectionism feed off each other, like a whale eats a shrimp (ever seen Marlin and Dory encountering the high-pitched shrimp before they were sucked up by the whale in Finding Nemo?), but of course I can't let these two values carry me along, so, inspired by this dream, I've been using Woody and Buzz from Toy Story to represent how disappointment and frustration look to me. Woody represents perfectionism, and Buzz represents disappointment. It all becomes clear during the plot of the original Toy Story film:

Woody represents perfectionism because he likes being with Andy just how he prefers it, but when Buzz takes over his life in Andy's room and they get stranded, the two must find a way to escape Sid's room and go to Andy's new home. Meanwhile, Buzz on the other hand represents disappointment - he disappointed Woody because he took over as the leader of the toys, teaching them to be more confident and the like, which made Woody extremely jealous. However, in the end, Buzz and Woody scare Sid by coming to life themselves and making it into Andy's car before Andy, his little sister Molly and his mum all make it with his toys to their new home.

My next self-therapy session was structure and sweetness, based on that dream I had which was caused by me slipping a piece of paper that said I was to comfort Lady Penelope in the rain when her Grandma died in a car accident. I had this dream, right, where I took control of my whole school and forced everyone to do the work, which is a representation of power, and then I rewarded myself with a trip to a Disney-inspired confectionery shop (ever seen goodies from Minnie's Bake Shop or Goofy's Candy Company before?), which is a representation of pleasure. According to Wysteria, my therapist would say that I'm experiencing a mix of structure and sweetness. Structure being doing the washing, cleaning the dishes, cooking the laundry, etc. while sweetness is reading books, watching Youtube videos, playing games online, cuddling my dog, etc.. I chose sweetness, and the only thing I chose for sweetness was watching Violet's scrapbook videos, her most recent three not being slews of pages themed around KPop Demon Hunters and instead themed around Spongebob, Crayon Shin Chan and Coraline. I told Wysteria that I made a special playlist to use as a sweet shop to return to any time I want, whenever I need a little sweetness. Phew!

And finally, the last self-therapy session of the day was so distressing it was like being in the picture book Farmer Duck. I called M lazy and knew I shouldn't have saw cooking as abuse if it weren't for Wysteria, she told me in my therapist's voice that my M isn't lazy and forceful, and ordinary everyday activities like cooking aren't abuse, they're just learning opportunities which I go through every day to become the adult I was supposed to become. She told me to imagine I am the chef in my own kitchen, choosing my own toppings, with M smiling away.

Heh heh heh heh heeeh, good old Wysteria!

I Love You, Alan

“I’m so sorry.” Alan wept as he looked out of the window of the lounge one night at the heavy rain pouring outside, the wind howling loudly. Alan had never felt so lonely in all his life. Everyone else had gone to bed, but after everything else he’d been through in the past, such as trying not to move or else a bomb would go off or having a dream about going with Lady Penelope and Parker into Outer Space, he was still upset. Over what? It was unclear what he was upset about.

He sat in silence, listening to the rain patter like little drums on the windows. It was then that I entered, worried about Alan, and sat down beside him. “Alan…” I said in a hushed whisper, putting my hand on his knee. “Ssssshhhhh…” he said in hushed tones, “I heard that, and I’m sorry too.” “What made you so upset?” I whispered. “Nothing in the world had ever made me happy. Not even my love of racing, or going into Space with Thunderbird 3. It never gets used a lot, y’know, it just sits there gathering dust, waiting until the Mysterons hatch another plot to destroy Cloudbase, or some astronauts get stranded with zero gravity. And all I get to do is sit there and smoke cigars with Brains, and you know how bad it is for my mental health….and that’s what I’m facing right now.”

“Mental health?” I asked. “Oh dear, why didn’t you tell Jeff?” “I’ve had mental health problems since I was a teenager. I tried to tell father to contact a doctor to tell me about my problems, but….ever since my mother died, I feel alone in myself. I feel like problems are all locked up in the treasure chest that is my mind, and those moments of lashing out and constant screaming have been the treasure no one refuses to pick up.”

“That’s because Jeff Tracy wanted to escape to that island, and that’s how you befriended Tin Tin.” I reminded. “This treasure which is your mental health can only be shared privately with your father. There are lots of helplines out there you can contact. What are you struggling with at the moment?” “Perfectionism, loneliness and isolation. Also, independence.” sighed Alan.

“Is this why you don’t want to leave the island?” I asked. “Tracy Island is such a pretty place to live on. It’s no place for someone with mental hea-” But I interrupted, “Alan, hang on. Tracy Island is the most peaceful base for the Thunderbirds to be stationed. There are lots of things those helplines can do to save your mental health and let you become the charming son your father expected you to be. Tell you what, why don’t we tell your father tomorrow, and then afterwards, he’ll recommend a hotline number for you to call in case you’re worried about this?”

“Then…does everyone still love me?” asked Alan. I threw my arms around him and gave him the biggest hug he could possibly imagine. “Of course they do,” I said, “No matter what happens to your mental health, everyone’s there to support you 24/7…including me.”

And so the next morning, Alan and I told Jeff about his mental health problems, and the head of the organisation recommended that he contact Shout 85258 so they can be there to listen to his problems and provide solutions for when his mental health is starting to take a toll on him. All Alan had to thank was me for the advice, or else he would have the most miserable life any astronaut would have in the world….ever.

If you are feeling overwhelmed and are struggling to cope with the same feelings or concerns as Alan in this story, text SHOUT to 85258 and they’ll be there to talk with you about any problems such as perfectionism and loneliness. I believe in you, and so does Shout. You can do it!

You Are In My Power

Hello, darlings, this is Lady Penelope and I want to tell you about a miraculous thing that happened when my friend placed a scrap of paper containing something she wanted to dream about under her bed last night.

It all began when she heard of something called the 'Pillow Method', where you put a piece of paper containing something you want to dream about, whether it's something like a solution to a problem or such, under your pillow, and the spirits grant you a dream. Well, my friend did just that, and when she placed it under her pillow, she not only got new ideas because of her fantasies, but also a dream which told her she has complete control of her world.

In the dream, she had control over her old school and forced the children to do all the heavy work, while she sat around at the desk eating lollipops and chocolates. Then she went to a candy shop which sold all kinds of Disney confectionery, which when pressed played fun Disney songs. Also in the dream, she told me she recalled something about calling Zebedee from The Magic Roundabout and the Flowerpot Men in order to get to her school and brainwash all the children into doing HER bidding.

So there. This dream proves that you, like my friend, have control over your world as a grown up. But remember this: there are some things in life we can't control. You can control what you do in your dreams, but not during harsh reality checks. Sick, right?

Lady Penelope guiding me through a world of water

A hot spring

Being close to water

Hutchinson's Encyclopedias - What Do I Use Them For?

It's grand.

It's big.

It's beautiful.

It's the one and only Hutchinson's Encyclopedia.

BLUEY: But what do you use them for anyway?

Well, Bluey, I was first given a copy by one of my support workers in 2023, and at first I didn't want anything to do with it for a whole year, because when I was negative and anxious I found it rather boring. However, one day while I was in my den and watching Team America: World Police, thinking of something to do for the day, I saw the Hutchinson's Encyclopedia and thought, "Oh wow, maybe I could use that. It has lots of space for writing in."

So why use an ordinary notebook for writing in when you've got plenty of spaces in the biggest books of all? Well, it gives me time to contemplate about all my ideas and write down all the lists that life forces me to write. I've written down about 1,000 lists so far (too many to count, but, whatever), some of which will help me outline my ideas for my stories - even if some of them are plotless!

My excitement surrounding these large-as-life coffee table like books encouraged me to find out more about Hutchinson's, and there, I noticed a wide range of other encyclopedias, too, ranging from an Encyclopedia Of Britain to ones released by Weetabix during 1999. I bought the 2001 encyclopedia and the British one from eBay, and guess what? I enjoyed them so much! So much so that I'm gonna get some more.

And today, I have brought the Hutchinson Pocket Dictionary. I don't know whether it will be either bigger or smaller than the 2001 encyclopedia or the British encyclopedia, but rest assured the book will be pocket-sized.

Speaking of Britain, the things featured in the British Encyclopedia include Absolutely Fabulous, Enid Blyton, Alice In Wonderland, Animal Farm, Watership Down, Doctor Who and Blue Peter....but no Thunderbirds. Aaaawww no. But what I can tell you is that Thunderbirds did appear as part of The Best Of British and The Best Of TV & Movies, and I'm looking to find that Thunderbirds card in TBOB soon!

One Word Writing Prompt - Flounder

Flounder

Clean Skin: The Early Years

• Lie among the flowers
• Watch deer grazing
• Do some cloudgazing
• Look at our reflections in the river
• Swim in the lake
• Roll down hills
• Climb on tree branches
• Sing gentle songs to each other
• Humming softly as the sun goes down
• Sharing cuddles and hugs

Baby Elephant

• Baby elephant splashes Tin Tin with her trunk
• Teaching the baby elephant how to swim
• The baby elephant gives Tin Tin rides on her back
• Showering under the waterfall
• Swimming with hippos
• Rolling in mud
• Cleaning off in the water
• Watching the baby elephant's trunk spin
• Sharing cuddles with the baby elephant
• Falling asleep on the bank of the pool

Me Two Luvly Ladies

• Visit the park
• Share cuddles
• Let Parker watch Lady Penelope play Horsey with me
• Hide under the duvet
• Play hide and seek
• Play tag
• Share a bath
• Get cosy with dinner by the fire
• Read stories
• Comfort me when I bang my elbow on the staircase

Go West, Young Penelope

• Riding horses
• Sitting on the front porch
• Having a picnic
• Sitting around the campfire
• Playing with Rocky and Dusty
• Play Horsey Ride
• Learn to lasso things
• Ride out into the countryside
• Sing songs around the fire
• Snuggle into bed and hear coyotes howl

My Little Tiger

• Jumping
• Pouncing
• Playing hide and seek
• Playing tag
• Walks across the jungle
• Splashing in the lake
• Climbing trees
• Relaxing in the shade
• Eating fresh fruit
• Snuggling together at bedtime