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Monday, 12 September 2022

Discontinued Breakfast Cereals

A pound of sugar, a quarter of tea,
Some carrots for Mrs Bunny,
And something extra special for tea -
A great big pot of honey!
A jar of jam, some slices of ham
Some doughnuts and a bun,
And any of the discontinued cereals you're about to read...
Are sure to be lots of fun!

Cleo's Bedtime Story - Chapter 1: The Baby

Nature has gifted this monster family with this precious little baby, and there's only one mummy girl who can take care of her...

Children's BBC Sticker & Swap Cards

Between 1997 and 2002, Children's BBC would do a series of sticker and swap cards featuring some of their best loved characters, which you can share with friends and put on notebooks, including Teletubbies, Noddy, Pingu, Postman Pat, Fireman Sam, Bill & Ben, Oakie Doke and more.

Stories: The Magic Waterslide

Part of the Stories anthology collection.

This is Bluey's story. Bluey, Indy, Chloe and I discover a magic waterslide that takes us all around the school, then to a place filled with rainbows and unicorns.

Coco Pops Blue Peter Sticker & Swap Cards

What if for Blue Peter's 60th birthday,
Coco Pops made swap cards to send viewers on their way!
Sticker and swap cards available in free packs
Because Radzi and Lindsey have got viewer's backs!
Presenters, pets and epic moments from the show
Sticker and swap cards are great, you know!
What if they did this offer in 2018
Then they would get Blue Peter fans excited for the show's birthday....
They'd rather have a bowl of Coco Pops!

Cleo's Bedtime Story - Chapter 1: The Baby

Alright, Sybil, time for bed. We’ve had a lovely day, and now it’s time to go to bed. Before we do that, I’ve got a bedtime story I would like to share with you. Settle down while I tell you the story of how we found you way back in the stone age….


Chapter 1:

The Baby

A hundred million years ago, when mankind was just starting to develop, there lived a bandaged cave girl named Cleo. She lived with her brothers, Resus the vampire and Luke the werewolf, in a cosy cave with their parents, surrounded by lush fields, green trees and fresh water. It wasn’t always like this. Sometimes it rained. Sometimes it snowed. During cold weather, they’d wear their furs and keep warm by the fire. During hot weather, they’d take off our furs entirely, and run around without any clothes in the warm air. They’d go swimming in the lake, or have a bath there. There were no modern baths in those times, so a lake bath was just as relaxing. The only problem we had with their lives was the amount of food they had.


Every Winter or Summer, they’d go hunting other animals who roamed the plains. Luke, Resus and Cleo would be accompanied by one of their parents, who were expert hunters. Resus’ dad, Alston, didn’t bite anyone, because even though he, Bella and Resus were vampires, they were the first to ever exist. They’d go hunting for snow lions, or mammoths, or woolly rhino…but all they brought back was a rabbit or two. A small, worthless rabbit makes a little filling meal for rumbling tummies, but at least they enjoyed our catch. They’d skin our catch alive and then eat its flesh. That’s how people ate these days, but Luke, Resus and Cleo didn’t mind. They ate their fill in small bites, and drank mammoth’s milk every night before bed. One Winter day, everything was about to change…


The snow was swirling like a whirlpool as Luke, Resus, Cleo and Niles trudged through the snow, trying to battle the cold and heavy wind as they held their wooden spears tight. “We’re almost there!” called Cleo over the wind, “I think we’re approaching some kind of cave!” “A cave?” asked Luke, “Finally!” They trudged with life and limb across the snow, then they stopped. The cave was big and hollow, and quite huge. “Hello!” called Luke, and his voice echoed. “Hello, hello, hello!” it went. He tiptoed inside to see if it was safe. In the darkness, he saw a huge white snow lion sleeping soundly. He tried to be careful and avoid any noise as he held his spear up and tiptoed up towards the lion…suddenly, he tripped! A small rock tumbled and bounced off a cliff and landed on the snow lion’s head. BUMP!


The snow lion instantly jumped up and growled at Luke. Luke raced out of the cave screaming, and Niles, Cleo and Resus all ran screaming too. The snow lion struck Luke with its sharp claws, and Luke felt red blood trickling down his back. He growled, his eyes turned black and purple, and he transformed into a sabre-toothed werewolf. “You get him from behind!” called Resus, “I’ll take him by surprise!” Luke chased the snow lion across the snowy plain and into the forest. Cleo galloped across the forest the other way, trying to search for Niles. “Dad? DAD!” she cried, but she tripped on a stone and tumbled downhill into a steep ravine. Luke was just about to pounce onto the lion and sink his teeth into its flesh, when he tripped and a thorn scarred his chest, drawing blood. At that moment, Resus jumped out, screaming and waving his spear. He stabbed it in the lion’s side. The lion roared in pain. “Your go, Luke!” called Resus. Luke knew he wasn’t about to give up yet. He roared, and leapt at the lion, biting into its back, harder and harder, until it drew its last breath from its mouth.


At the same time, Cleo was recovering from her fall. She looked up, and saw the snow was falling lightly now, and up above, Luke and Resus were cheering and whooping, shaking their kill in the air. “Woo! Look at that! We did it! We killed something other than a useless rabbit!” called Luke. Cleo smiled and yelled back, then checked herself to see if there were any bruises. There weren’t. Her legs didn’t break. Her arms weren’t broken either. She had the strength to climb back up the cliff and reunite with her brothers again. Luckily, they helped her up as soon as she reached the cliff ledge. “Finally.” said Niles, “We killed something that’s big enough for the whole family to eat. Come on, let’s move forward and get home.”


They trudged home through the snow. It was a long walk, but they finally made it back home, only to hear a strange noise. It sounded like…like crying. They raced to the front door and saw a tiny baby lying outside the doorstep in the freezing cold, wrapped in furs and waving her arms in agony. “Who’s that?” asked Luke. “Looks like a baby to me,” said Resus. “I don’t care, she’s mine,” said Cleo. She took the baby in her warm arms and began to cradle her gently. The warmth and gentleness of her arms soothed the baby and caused her to stop crying. “How sweet, princess,” said Niles, “You’re just like a big sister to this baby.” “Let me guess - we’re going to adopt it.” said Resus. “We’ll take it indoors with us. She has no mother, so I guess we should look after it ourselves.” Niles smiled. “She’ll be my favourite too, I don’t care how beloved my new baby sister is.” Cleo said, “I promise to be good to her and watch it grow up.”


Luke, Resus, Cleo and Niles went indoors and saw their parents sitting in the warmth of their cave, waiting for them to return home. “Are you alright, Cleo?” asked Sue. “I’m fine. I would like to introduce you to a new member of our family. She’s a little small, but you’ll soon get used to her.” Cleo introduced. Everyone at once sighed and chorused, “Aaaaaaawwww.” They said things like “Isn’t she cute?” and “Welcome to the family!” Once the cute noises died down, Mike said, “We haven’t given her a name yet.” “What shall we name her?” asked Bella. “Mammoth’s tooth!” said Luke. “Tortilla Tail!” said Resus. “No. We don’t need those names. All we can name her is…Sybil.” said Cleo. “Welcome, Sybil.” everyone sighed, as they quietly watched Cleo hold the baby close to her bosom.


Cleo was still cradling the baby as the family sat round the fire eating the remains of the snow lion. The fresh smell of killed meat filled the air as the family tucked into their first real meal they had in weeks. The snow whistled and blew great flakes of white outside, but they sat in the warm, feeling full, and talking about their day. Luke, Resus and Cleo were getting really tired, and Cleo carried on holding Sybil, feeding her the right amount of mammoth milk. She even patted her on her back, burping her. The family’s pet, the half sabre-toothed-dog Dig, and the sabre-toothed leech Lulu, gathered to look at the new baby with their family, and tickled and cuddled the new baby. Giggles and sounds of “Coochie-coochie-coo!” were heard all through the family as everyone admired Sybil and kissed her. Sybil’s eyes were starting to get a little heavy from all this fuss and attention, so Sue said, “Time for bed, everyone.”


Luke, Resus and Cleo prepared a bed for what was now four of them with Sybil by their side. They piled up some furs and placed a pillow made out of duck feathers at the very top of the bed. It was getting dark as they did that, as the sound of Winter wind blew outside, and yawning and calls of “Goodnight.” we heard throughout the house. Luke, Resus, Cleo and Sybil relaxed in bed, snug and safe inside their very own soft bed, under soft furry covers, as if a giant sabre-toothed cat was lying on top of them, keeping them warm and protected from the cold wind and weather. Our eyes grew heavy as the soothing sound of the Winter wind played its song outside the cave.


Cleo was lying right next to her new baby sister, whispering “There there. It’s alright. I’m here. Cleo’s here. It’s okay.” She kissed her and nuzzled her, touching her soft skin and snuggling with her. Sybil was so soothed that she and Cleo instantly fell asleep right away. With a new baby in the family, things will never be the same for them, because the family will have a new kid to look after and watch grow up through the next few years.

Sunday, 11 September 2022

Princess Cocoa

Anyone else searching up cocoa mugs with toadstools on them?

I.B.F.Fs: Travel Sickness - Chapter 2: The Dingo

In our dream, Luke, Resus and Cleo were running out onto the beach. We felt wild and free. We’ve been on the beach multiple times at home, but this was way better than before. Our energy had come back, and we were bright-eyed and bushy-tailed once again. Luke and Resus were only wearing their swimming trunks. Luke’s was orange with black stripes, while Resus’ was black with red stripes. I was wearing my cute pink swimming costume. Cleo was only wearing her bandages. It was very hot in Australia, so it’s glad Aunt Marie had her sweet-smelling suncream. We loved the smell of Aunt Marie’s suncream. Its scent was enough to drag you onto the beach in a couple of minutes. Once we reached the beach, we rolled along the sand. “Wheeeeeeee!” shouted Luke, Resus and Cleo as the soft sand touched their skin - and bandages. “Wheeeeeee!” I shouted too, rolling along with them. The sand dunes were steep enough to roll down. I leapt on top of my pile of siblings and we all laughed as we collapsed onto the sand.


We would play in the sea. The sea was big, blue, beautiful and cool as a million ice cubes in a fridge. Luke, Resus and Cleo took it in turns to make me jump when the tide splashed in. When it was Luke’s turn and the tide came in, he lifted me up and tickled my wet feet. Resus did indeed jump when it was his turn. I jumped, but Resus fell over and ran back to our beach towel, shivering “Help! Help! It’s cold…” Luke, Cleo and I laughed along with him. Cleo was a pro at playing this game with me. “Here comes a big one!” she would cry, while I giggled and held on tight to Cleo’s hands. When the tide came in, she lifted me right up while yelling “Woohoo!” I was screaming with laughter. Next, we all splashed in the water. I splashed my siblings and they splashed me back. When Luke fell back from such a powerful wave of water, I tickled him and cuddled him. Resus and Cleo would splash and tickle him too. The water was shark-free, making it safe for us to play in. Luke and Cleo would dangle me over the water while I shrieked with laughter, and sometimes, Resus would sit in the water and splash me, while I splashed him back. We wiggled our toes at one another, as if it was a way of communicating.


Before all that, we put on suncream to stay safe from the sun. We decided to play around with it. I sprayed some suncream on Luke’s tummy and drew a smiley face on it. The smiley face didn’t stay smiling for long, as Luke rubbed the suncream all over his body like he was a suntan lotion advert model. He sprayed some on my face, minding my eyes as it’ll hurt when the suncream was applied. I took the suncream and sprayed it on Resus’ back. He giggled, as it tickled on his sensitive back, but I rubbed it all in and he enjoyed it dearly. Cleo was already relaxing on our laid-out beach towel, and that’s when the boys and I decided to play a trick on him. I drew a circle on her back, then Luke and Resus drew a face. We laughed as we ran back to watch and Cleo awoke. She looked around to see that her bandaged back had a creamy feeling to it. “Oh, it’s only suncream,” she laughed, and rubbed it all in. We groaned in disappointment. We knew this was something to fall for - almost!


Minutes later, we lay down on the soft sand and relaxed under the shade of our yellow and pink beach parasol. I lay beside Luke and dreamed as the sounds of seagulls screeching pierced the hot air. Luke, Resus and Cleo were already asleep when I opened my eyes to the sound of crunching. I looked around, and heard that the crunching sound was less audible. I strained my ears to listen out for any crunching. Munch, crunch! There it was again. I looked around in the direction of the crunching. I was in shock to see a real life dingo crunching away at a bone, gnawing as if it were Dig right there and then. But it can’t be Dig! He was at the kennels with Lulu! I always feel emotional when I say goodbye to Dig and Lulu when sending them to the kennels, and I always give them kisses, so tears filled my eyes as I watched the dingo gnaw his large bone, then yawn and settle down on the sand, ready to dream dreamtime dreams.


It took a while for me to dry my eyes and look at the dingo closely. His sandy fur almost camoflagued him against the beach, and his breathing sounded snarly and growly, making him fierce. It wouldn’t hurt to be brave, I thought, so I got down on my hands and knees and crawled slowly over to the dingo. I had to mind all the pebbles and sticks that have been littered at various points on the beach, but at one point I stood on a large pebble and I tried hard not to scream, almost waking the dingo up. I sat down and looked at the pebble. Then I looked at my pebble. It was light brown with white stripes - a rarity on beaches like this. I placed the pebble where I won’t stand on it anymore, and continued crawling over to the dingo. I was almost there. I reached out to the dingo and tried to touch his soft-looking fur, but he shot up and growled at me! I shrank back in horror as the dingo fell asleep again.


I wasn’t sure what to do. Should I go back to my siblings or try stroking the dingo? Surely it can’t be too friendly. I wish…I could do something about it. I looked at my sleeping siblings, and then looked at the dingo. I knew what I had to do. I reached out to the dingo slowly and gently again, and then stroked his muzzle. The dingo seemed to feel calm and content as I stroked him. There were warnings before nature programmes on TV that we mustn’t touch wild animals, because they could be too dangerous to handle, but this was a one-off. It was as if the dingo lost his family and came to the beach to forage for food. By food, I meant the bone. The dingo was a friendly one. I smiled feeling the dingo growl with contentment, its heart beating slowly.


Luke, Resus and Cleo awoke and saw me stroking the dingo. They saw it was a charming sight, and crawled over to me and joined me in stroking this wild dog.

Saturday, 10 September 2022

When I Use The Make-A-List App...

I.B.F.Fs In: Pillow Fairies - Chapter 1: Beyond The Clouds

Once upon a time, there was a cosy world that existed just over the rainbow and beyond the clouds. It was so soft, you could almost touch it. People down below have claimed to see it time and time again, and some scholars believed fairies lived there. Do you think fairies live there? I think you’re right. In this magic land, a colony of fairies flittered around making their world soft and new. They brought cuddly comfort to the clouds, they made the rivers and streams feel and taste like pure milk and their flowers always brought fresh sap every day. Wearing nothing but bare, smooth skin, our little band of fairies flew here and there, making sure everything wasn’t out of place and just as snuggly as nature intended. The fairy children spend their time playing among the clouds and telling each other stories about the human world. However, four fairy children love to play better than any other…


That’s right, our names are Luke, Resus, Cleo and Sybil. We claim to be the best out of all the fairy children in Softopia, because we tend to have the most fun. Usually we’d sit around in a circle listening to one of the fairies tell stories about how the whale got its song or how the lion and the hyena became friends, but while all this was going on, we like to make our own soft fun. We’d snuggle up in the clouds and tickle each other, until our laughter was heard by other unsuspecting fairy children. We’d dive into the milk pool and splash each other and relax in a daily skin ritual. Best of all, we liked visiting the most tranquil place in Softopia - the flowers. Pillow flowers, you should call them. We love relaxing on the pillow flowers, because they proved to be the softest out of any of the flowers that grew in this kind, gentle world.


For many years, we were happy living there. So happy that nothing ever happened to our world. Not a single flood, or lightning storm, or earthquake, hit. Softopia was a safe world where fairies lived in perfect peace and harmony, hiding in the clouds, bathing in milk or sleeping in flowers. No fairy troop had ever experienced a softness such as this, especially us. We were fond of sunshine and soft, Summer breezes and fun, and we are inseparable. I often promised my friends we would never, ever part. Every day was safe and fine, as long as we played in the clouds. Sometimes, the peace will not be to last, and I’ll tell you of one particular time.


One sunny, warm day, Luke, Resus, Cleo and I decided to visit our old friend, Indy The Wise. Even though she was 6 years old, Indy was the wisest girl in all of Softopia. She was always there to tell the most interesting tales and give wisdom and advice for anyone struggling to be at one with these soft surroundings. She was often spotted doing yoga amidst burning, strawberry-scented candles, and when she’s not, she’s basically telling stories. We loved to visit her to hear a different story every day. The other week, she told us about a scarecrow who wished he could swim underwater. A dolphin fairy had to come and wave her magic wand, and then the scarecrow ran away from the farm, stripped off his raggedy old clothes and dived into the sea. That was it. Indy had learnt all these stories from her mentor Calypso, the head of all the fairies in Softopia, which is why she had gained so much knowledge.


We entered the hollow tree where Indy lived. She was searching through her big book of wisdom and tutting. “Oh no…oh no oh no. Oh no no no no no.” She was pondering to herself. “This doesn’t seem right at all.” “What’s the matter, oh Indy The Wise?” I asked. “This is definitely not happening, not at this moment.” “What’s not happening?” asked Luke. “The great storm.” Indy worried. We all gasped in shock. “The great storm?!” “But we never had a storm in Softopia, not in a million years!” I wailed. “I know, and the latest tale in my book isn’t a story, it’s a prophecy. Listen on and I will tell you.” Indy cleared his throat and began to read.


“In a day, Softopia will witness a great storm that will turn what was once soft, warm and comfortable to hard, cold stone. No milk, no sap and no pillows could ever be stored for safety in homes across the land, leaving all the fairies futureless. Legend has it that only four fairies with courageous hearts will be able to force their way into the human world and collect the legendary Golden Pillow that’ll have the power to bring the softness back to their world.”


For a few moments, we were all quiet. Then we just sighed and laughed, scoffing. “There’s no such thing as a storm anyway!” I laughed. “A storm? What makes you think that?” Resus giggled. “There’s no storm!” said Cleo, “It was something you made up when your mind told you to.” “I’m being serious, if the storm hits your land, then to the human world you must seek the Golden Pillow.” But before she could stop us, we left! Indy sighed and slammed the book shut. “What a bunch of non-believers. I hope that someday I could persuade them to believe. Oh well, I’d best make myself a nice cup of acorn cocoa and head off to bed. I think I should have to call it a day.” But as she went upstairs, outside the tree, a grey storm cloud was looming in the distance, thunder and lightning crashing like a thousand cymbals…


Luke, Resus, Cleo and I made our way home, laughing and joking. “Who cares about a storm?” I laughed, “Storms make no sense!” “Not to us fairies they don’t,” said Resus. “Fairies believe in softness and love, not storms and violence.” “Let’s ignore the fact that the storm might be upon us any minute and just get on with our lives. Never has there ever been-” Just then, our parents - Mike, Sue, Alston, Bella and Niles - fluttered in. “You look pale as death! Where have you been?” asked Mr Watson. “We’ve just been to visit Indy The Wise.” said Luke. “She told us that there’s going to be a storm, but we’re not falling for it.” “We have to keep our eyes open for what’ll happen to us when a storm does hit.” said Bella. “Anyway, look at the setting sun! It must be time for our little fairies to go to bed.” We sighed in relief. Bed. What a comfortable word. Our eyes were already getting heavier and our wings were getting tired too.


First, we had a little drink - the sap from the bluebells that grew in the meadow. The sap tasted remarkably sticky and a little like honey, but it still cleansed our pallets whenever it could. The taste was loved by anyone in our family, and usually sap was pollinated by bees, but bees can’t fly further than the rainbow anyway. Sap was our favourite thing to drink, and it exists in flowers too. Next, we had a bath to cleanse all the stickiness away. We bathed in pure, sweet milk. We were washed all over with a green leaf scrubbing brush, and Resus struggled when Alston, his father, used the sponge to clean his face, for cleaning was his least favourite thing. We were vigorously dried with a leaf towel, and then we flew over to the Pillow Flowers and snuggled on the soft petals, falling fast asleep. As soon as we did, I turned over and lay awake. “What if Indy was right about her story? What if Softopia really does turn to stone?”


My what ifs were true. That night, a big wind blew across the soft plains. It got heavier and more violent, and then it began to rain. The cloudy ground became all soggy, and the flowers and trees blew in the wind. Only the Pillow Flowers stood still in the heavy breeze. Then came the lightning. It crashed and flashed in the darkness. It struck every single plant and flower in this magical world, and a hard, cold stone coating built up around the ground, the grass, the clouds, the flowers and trees, until the wind subsided, and there was nothing but silence. The ground was hard as stone - literally. It was lucky the storm never struck the Pillow Flowers, because that was where the prophecy came full circle. However, it wouldn’t begin until the very next day…

I.B.F.Fs: Travel Sickness - Chapter 1: Take Off & Land

Ah, the outback. A magical place at the bottom of the world where the mystery of nature springs into life in unexpected places. This was where Luke, Resus, Cleo and I like to hang out. We live among the gumtrees in the rocky plains of the outback, and have a picnic outside every Tuesday. Every time we do, a pair of cheeky lorikeets all pink and white would come flying down and scoff one or two of our sandwiches. We don’t mind the lorikeets eating our sandwiches, we always invite them to share our tea anytime. Lorikeets are extremely fond of peanut butter sandwiches if you ask me, although they taste a bit rubbery in their mouths. Every day in our outback home, we’d bounce with kangaroos and see how high we can jump. We’d play with emus and learn how to stick our heads in the ground just in case of any danger. We’d run from frill-necked lizards when they ran across the plain screaming. We’d drink water from the watering hole with two sly-looking wildcats. Life was sweet in the outback, even though it was extremely hot.


One day, we went to a School Of The Air in Alice Springs. If you don’t know what a School Of The Air is, it’s a radio station that teaches children who live too far from school. “Today’s visitors are here to tell us all about the joys of Australia - Luke, Resus, Cleo and Sybil!” said the teacher. “Hi!” we all said. “So, Sybil, about your life here in Australia. Do you enjoy it as much as your siblings do?” asked the teacher. “Of course I do. Precisely speaking, I never thought of this myself, but Australia is a very hot country. This is probably why people go swimming on the beach all the time, and did I forget to mention there are kangaroos jumping about? Why of course, yes, because there are loads of them where we live, by the way as we sit on the front porch we could always see kangaroos bounce past every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday…” I went on and on about Australia. So much in fact that the teacher, my siblings and the listeners listening fell fast asleep.


“...and did you taste all the vegemite there? I’m not particulary fond of vegemite, it gives me terrible diarrhoea, and sometimes it makes me vomit too, that’s why we don’t stock up on vegemite in the house, and…” “Okay, okay, slow down, you’re making it hard for the other passengers to concentrate.” I looked around. I was on a plane with my family to Australia. Luke, Resus, Cleo and their parents were all asleep, while other people were sitting quietly in rows and rows along the plane. “We must be very high up.” I said. “High up as in on a plane, you mean,” said Mum. “At least you didn’t scream that we’re going to crash this time. I think you must be very excited about our visit to Aunt Marie’s beach house in Queensland.” “Yes, Mum!” I smiled, “I’ve been thinking about that trip all year!” Aunt Marie lived in a lovely house on the coast of a beach in Queensland. She looked exactly like my mother - friendly and young, with dark blonde hair.


The effects of the flight was making my eyes feel heavy, and my ears pop like little balloons in my eardrums, but I had to stay awake. I’ve fallen asleep multiple times on car journeys to see relatives like Aunt F and Six. One time, I felt sick in the car and Cleo had to comfort me. Here’s hoping I didn’t get sick on the plane too. I looked out the window at the clouds that passed by. Then I looked down at the ocean far below. Some small grey dots were bouncing about in the water. I looked a bit closer, then realised something. They were dolphins! Actual, real live dolphins! “Mum! Mum! Look! I see dolphins!” I cried. “So I see,” said Mum, “Dolphins are very common here in Australia. There are even sightings of them on the Queensland beach. At least, that’s what Aunt Marie told me.” “I wish Luke, Resus and Cleo were able to see this,” I hoped, looking over at my sleeping siblings.


When the plane finally landed, I shook my siblings awake excitedly. “Wake up!” I shouted, “We’re here! Luke! Resus! Cleo! Get up! We’re here!” “Wha…what?” asked Luke. “We’re finally here, in Australia!” I said. Luke, Resus and Cleo gazed out the window. They were at an Australian airport. We were so excited we just had to high five each other. We’ve never been more excited. However, as we got off the plane we felt our legs shake and shiver, as if cold air had just been applied to the heat pressure on the plane. “Mum, my legs are all shaky,” I said. “Don’t worry, darling, it’s just the effects of an international flight.” “I think mine are too,” said Resus. “I feel like we’re going to fall off the plane any minute,” groaned Cleo. “Well, you’ll get your energy back when you see Aunt Marie.” laughed Mrs Watson, patting Luke on the back. “Hey! Not too hard,” moaned Luke.


As we went to the arrivals area, we saw Aunt Marie waiting for us amongst a crowd of people waiting for their relatives. “Sybil!” she screamed. “Aunt Marie!” we yelled back, as we ran to the woman who looked just like my mum. She grabbed us in a bear hug, but she had to let go when we started moaning and our legs started shaking. “Oh dear. You must be very creased after flying all the way over from the UK to see me,” she said. “They’ll get used to it. They are on holiday after all, and they’re very far away from the UK.” said Mr Watson. “Cleo felt it too, but I don’t think that happened to me,” said Niles, “I don’t have the guts.” Everyone laughed. “No puns please,” groaned Cleo. “We feel tired enough as it is.” I moaned. “You see, Marie, Sybil and her siblings are just tired because they’ve been excited about this trip, we had a hectic morning getting ready and taking off to fly around the world to Australia, and now they’re just…well, tired.” Aunt Marie chuckled. “Never mind, they can fall asleep as soon as we get in.”


We caught the Airport Express bus to Aunt Marie’s beach house. As we sat and looked out at the views, we tried hard not to fall asleep, but it was hard with the sounds of our parents laughing and joking. I felt something in my stomach churn around, like milk being mixed with butter to make cheese from the cows. In fact, we felt like cows, groaning and moaning as we felt our stomach acid bubble and fizz, pop and gurgle, twist and turn, almost like a milk machine. Imagine a cow’s stomach acid. It’s so thick and creamy, and sometimes a bit smelly from producing so much milk, that you might have a hard time learning in school about where your dairy products come from. Well, if they come from a cow’s smelly belly, you might be so grossed out you could get out a barf bag that you took to school for the lesson and vomited in sync with all your classmates. Oh my god, the agony!


We finally approached Aunt Marie’s house. The inside was neat and tidy, and the scent of vanilla and spiced apple filled the room. The walls were coloured brown, as if someone hammered wood into them. The carpet was deep red, and you should see our bedroom. It was cream coloured and spotless, there were velvet curtains letting the sun shine through, and our bed was patterned with pictures of roses and butterflies. A soft toy of a kangaroo lay on the bed for us to see. Above the bed was a really strange picture made using spots. “That’s my pride and joy,” said Aunt Marie, “My Aboriginal dot art dingo painting. I was given this painting by the Australian Museum as a thank you for donating my prized didgeridoo.” “Nice story, but we feel a little tired after travelling on a plane, then a bus, and now our eyes are really heavy,” said Resus. “You must be exhausted. I feel you should need a rest after travelling so much.”


So we unpacked our pyjamas and my favourite stuffed animals, Longears and Pink Teddy. We squeezed into our pyjamas, which were soft and comfortable - save for Cleo, she doesn’t wear pyjamas - and turned to gaze at the dingo picture.  The dingo was made of a million spots, but according to our vision, it got wobbly and the thousands of dots turned to hundred-thousands, then thousand hundreds. Our legs began to shake again, and our stomachs were still churning like those of cows’, and we felt like we really should go to bed. So we got under the covers and snuggled down under the soft, serene sheets, the sweet scent of pink roses filling our nostrils. “This dingo picture is so amazing,” I groaned. “Is it indeed,” said Resus, “I feel like it’s coming to life as we speak.” “Well, I feel like there’s an actual dingo on the beach right now as we speak,” said Cleo. We laughed weakly. “No dingo would set paw on the beach next to Aunt Marie’s. Why would we even bother to let it come in and steal our food? We do need a good, long…”


But we yawned and settled down to sleep under the covers. Everything was quiet, save for the wind blowing outside the sunny windows. We felt so sleepy, that instantly, we drifted into a wonderful dream…

Friday, 9 September 2022

589 Chapters? Nah-AH!

You asked for it, you got it, bumblenuts! Now, there will be a 13-chapter-long version of my trip to Australia with Luke, Resus and Cleo. Yep, you got it, 13 chapters. I'm thinking about including a Woolworths imitation in there - no, not the UK Woolworths, with the sheep and dog and everything, the Australian supermarket - alongside a barbecue and a few beach trips. Now our trip to stay with Aunt Marie will be more detailed than ever. It's not without the Curry Quest formula for each chapter though. Originally, I was going to do 589 chapters, but it was too long, so I shortened it down to 13. Stay tuned for the first chapter, coming tomorrow!

Children's Party At The Palace

Our beloved Queen has gone to the great palace in the sky, so I've decided to reunite you with an event that happened when I was six. I've seen it in Radio Times once. It was a whole gaggle of British children's characters - Noddy, Postman Pat, Winnie The Pooh, the Mr Men, Maisy and even my friend Kipper - all entertaining children at Buckingham Palace. This was broadcast on CBBC once. Do you remember? So many memories...