Bob Needs A Severe Talking To, Kipper!

- Honestly, Bob? This DVD is just too noisy and overwhelming!

- Well, we just wanted to make this DVD to make kids happy and full of energy.

- But Bob, look at what you've done! It says here in our annual HIT Reports 2004 that no matter how loud you try to be on this DVD, some kids have sensitive hearing. I think it's called autism. From my childcare experiences, I've dealt with children with autism before - they're so anxious they can become overwhelmed by loud noises and bright lights. My show does none of that.

- Mine neither, but let's say it's just a one off.

- A one off? There's loads of autistic children out there who need slow paced, calming entertainment, like mine for instance. Can't you just make 'Quietest Children's Favourites'? You could take Barney and The Wiggles out and just add quieter episodes of our shows for starters.

- Sorry, Kipper, but we don't have enough time. By the way, I've got an important list of things to do. See?

- That's a very long list. How do you manage to fit all this in one day?

- Hmmmmm....well, let's just say I rely on Scoop over there.

- No way! You plugged Scoop into the wall with an electronic socket?

- I am the head of HIT Entertainment, and I had this elecnotronic keyboard plugged right into Scoop's petrol tank. Whatever I type, Scoop produces.

- No, that's too cruel! Bob, just unplug Scoop and try to think about other people just this once, please. You can't rely on a machine to do anything like that. Anything made for the algorithm is pure noise and fast scene changes.

- Ah - aaaaaaaaah. *types on his keyboard* Scoop, generate a new Kipper DVD for me, please.

*Scoop glitches out, then*

- No job, Bob.

- See? You're not the mutt for the job either. Kids deserve loud, fast content in their busy lives. I'm afraid you're disqualified.

- NO!

- I seriously need to do something about it. Kipper's so upset with what Bob did with his life.

The Many Sounds Of The Mr Men At The Funfair

Mr Small - Mickey Mouse laugh

Little Miss Tiny - squeaky giggle

Mr Nobody - Sssshhhh...

Walter The Worm - Shhlurp!

Doughnuts - DOH!

Banana Skin - Cartoonish falling sound

Duck - Quack

Horses - Neigh

Train - Choo Choo!

Mr Topsy Turvy - Slide whistle twisting noise

Lady Penelope Annual - A Review

 

Lady Penelope Annual by Various
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Lady Penelope is so glamorous!

Such a nice vintage read, even if you do get a bit disturbed by the offensive jokes in the funny cartoons section of Thunderbirds/Captain Scarlet.

The Perils Of Parker is already my favourite - adds a touch of humor to the whole seriousness of action, something no girly action series ever does today.

Totally recommend.

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Brum Has Something To Say

"Ladies and gents and kids,

Not only was Paul Leather not the perfect director to help bring me back to kids' TV, he was the furthest thing from.

From the moment he brought me back to the box, I had to trust Anne Wood and not him. I had no choice. I needed Mrs Wood to protect me from my noisy, fast new adventures...to be my guide, to help navigate the difficult, confusing and vulnerable journey to becoming a brilliant little kid on four wheels, who makes his town a better place.

Mr Leather did none of those things. He may have done well with my friends the Teletubbies, but took a four-wheeled toddler's trust and innocence, delusional imagination and excitability and smashed it to bits in a five year mission to destroy a low stimulating, stream of conciousness format for a preschool docudrama that he killed a long time ago, through working on The Hoobs and everything.

And honestly, if my horrid 3rd season ever goes onto iPlayer, and I get into even more trouble, I honestly think that I never want to see Mr Leather's horrendous, ugly face again!

Please...have sympathy for me. You all loved me in the '90s, didn't you?"

So that has been said.

Please leave your kindest words of comfort for Ragdoll's animatronic robotic car underdog in the comments!

Connection Chain Theme

365 Days Of Happiness - What They've Inspired Me To Do So Far

Morning, Parker. Look, I know everything's been upside down lately. So many stressing things have happened to me - the dog wanting to go out, almost cutting my finger off when I'm colouring in...but, now that I have been sleeping until 7AM, reading 365 Days Of Happiness two days in a row has made my emptied brain from the effect of sleep get more ideas.

For Day 2, my little friend had the idea to make some connection chains, knowing she had some people in her life that she was thankful for - even when some people are being a bit too bossy and hard on her. She even decided to make some for I Am Not An Animal, Bob The Builder, Stingray, Captain Scarlet and me and my dear friends from International Rescue. It proves that we are all connected in an international chain of friendship and love, no matter where we come from.

And today, she read Day 3, and the idea was that, from this whole chocolate biscuit recipe for happiness she read about, she told me that she thought up two new list books - and very inspired they were too. One was named 'Everything', about every single place and activity and thing that makes her happy, and the other is named 'Everyone', about every single person, whether fictional or real, who makes her happy...

...including me and you, Parker.

"That's sweet, milady."

Sweet as freshly churned ice cream.

A Joke About Horses, By Starlight Glimmer's Slave, Sunburst

Which club do horses like to join?

A COLT!

The Mysterons Are Offensive To The Public!

Lion King Paper Plate Lion

Granny and Lancelot have been to Africa, so while Lance, Nick and his Baskerville Wolf have gone off to find a new home due to his old one falling into a sinkhole, he has given you a craft to do during your detox time, courtesy of Simba and Nala. Now's your chance to make his old friend!

https://www.twinkl.co.uk/resource/the-lion-king-paper-plate-lion-craft-activity-t-tc-1738780113

My Mum's Going To Explode, Reviewed So Far Through Song

Nicholas' mum is pregnant you see,

A new baby's coming to the family,

Ron is about to burst into a rage

Granny's getting too old for her age

The tree hut gives me African wild vibes

It makes me want to swing and jive

Nick Sharratt should work for the FCC

His illustrations are absolutely funny

I've already finished Chapter 2,

I'd like to know what happens next!

YEAH!

The tune:

Triple Jackpot!

OH MY GOD! You won't believe what I have been up to with my support worker yesterday, and it was as much of a hoot as the stories in my currently-finished book, Horrid Henry's Food Fight. Let me share them all with you. You'll thank me later once you realise this is an advert for T T Retro...

Okay, so, first I went to Boots and I wanted to get one of those limited edition Dove x Bridgerton body washes. But Sundae called out to me most, and since it was my birthday this week, I got birthday cake. Speaking of which, when I went with my other, slightly confused support worker a few days ago, I got not one but three things - Boots' own moisturising cream, Nala's Baby Body Lotion and My Little Coco Pillow Mist.

Now listen here, you lot - if you're absolutely tired of the Johnson's Bedtime Routine, try this for size:

1.First, use Nala's Body Lotion on your arms.

2.Brush your teeth,

3.Wash your face,

4.Apply My Little Coco pillow mist...

5.And finally, read from one of your books or comics.

Sounds good? Five steps are better than three, and as a wise man with a jingle bell hat always says:

"It's always better to have too much than too little."

And now for the moment you've been waiting for, all your live long days.

Actually, it's two, so don't get 'two' excited.

Geddit? Ha!

First off, I went to T T Retro and got a completely different purchase - three, to be exact. It started off quite innocently enough, with the purchase of a lovely comic about forgotten Marvel character Howard The Duck, with small adverts for trinkets and toys the size of your thumbnail on some pages, but then, the biggest surprise came when the kindly owner presented...

TWO ANNUALS! But they weren't any ordinary annuals. They didn't use live actors. They didn't use CGI either. What did they use?

ALAN/BRAINS/TIN TIN/KIPPER/BRUM: Puppets!

Of course, the annuals were named Thunderbirds/Captain Scarlet and Lady Penelope. The biggest surprise waited for me when I got home, but in case of spoilers, I'll save it 'til the end.

Next on the menu was a tour around the charity shop - there were so many forgotten treasures for sale, everything was white and green like a tennis court had been there before! I went to the children's section, and at first I wanted to buy a Harry & The Dinosaurs book, but realising I had a sharp eye for book texture, I bought Ripley's Believe Or Not instead - a much better and interesting purchase since Mum had read Harry to me multiple times as a little girl.

And since McGinty's was closed, where did we go? To the food truck, and I was being a bit cheeky with the purchases, because I ordered a cheeseburger and a Diet Coke can. While eating my 100% delicious cheeseburger, I found that reading Howard The Duck and doing a Donald Duck voice for him can get a bit tiring.

And...I crashed out.

But it's okay if I didn't give away the surprise, because the best surprises wait in reviews of books on GoodReads. Go check them out if you can!

Horrid Henry's Food Art

Hip Horrid, HOORAY!

I have finally completed Horrid Henry's Food Fight, and guess what? It was a real hoot! But it wasn't just Mum that was being mean and horrid to Henry, Peter and Dad were major examples of the same way, until they reached the Virtuous Veggie.

So, Horrid Henry has found this page so his younger brother Peter can tell him how to make his greens into art! You can even make disgusting veggies into shapes of Henry, Peter, Ralph, Graham and other characters from Henry's world.

https://theconfidenteater.com/blog/picky-eating-support/food-art-for-fussy-eaters/

Peppa's First 1000 Words: A Review

Peppa Pig 1000 First Words Sticker Book by Neville Astley
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

That Peppa Pig First 1000 Words sticker book is absolutely great fun to do, especially if you're absolutely too tired to even read longer, difficult and even the shortest stories.

Parents, if your kids have been overstimulating by the fast paced nature of Peppa's adventures and the noisy voice acting, then this is the right choice for you.

CREATIVE TIP:
Every time you place a sticker into the correct place, name out the character and then recite a small rhyme about it.

A perfect rainy day or boredom buster solution.

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