The Replacement

I'm afraid I have some very extremely terrifying news. Yesterday someone on Kaboose asked how old I was, and that sent me into an uncontrollable rage, lashing out at the ones I love and screaming like a banshee whose banana started peeling - and even when I got out of my quiet time, I got even angrier and started crying.

Fortunately, I've deleted Kaboose from the face of the Earth forever, and what have I replaced it with?

Mixboard. For you see, patience has its rewards - going through everything such as getting used to newer He Man and watching live action classics made by Ragdoll has given me a reward. Mixboard - the reward. So, Noddy, what have you got to say to the people out there viewing this post?

"YOU MUST NOT WORRY!"

Because all this time I have been worrying endlessly to my tummy about stories. But now, it doesn't matter. What does now? I think I know - visual image boards, Pinterest and blogging. Anything creative outside of writing. 

So kids, don't you dare go onto any forum or chat app - someone might ask you how old you are, and if they do, delete it forever and forget about it. And if I think about writing stories again, remember:

"YOU MUST NOT WORRY!"

Thanks, Noddy.

The MST3K Bobo & Friends Drinking Game

Feeling thirsty after a nap? Then play this game using this video and a drink of your choice! Here's how the game works: take a shot every time you hear Mike or one of the bots mention a property that was released by Shout Factory on DVD. Remember: chug loads if they mention Thunderbirds, Power Rangers, Transformers, My Little Pony or anything else I find irresistible!

When I Think About Zoubi Doubi

BRUM: See? I told you these cars were my descendants - no CGI involved whatsoever. It's proper entertainment for children, especially since it involves real toy cars in a real forest. It's like my show mixed in with Tarzan! And by the way, I love being a lemur with pillow head fur!

Scale Modelling - I'm Gonna Do It!

Hey! Guess what? Am I going to have a new hairstyle? Ah ah. Am I watching MST3K? Maybe I am. But the news comes from one of my friends on Kaboose, Lunar, and guess what he suggested to me?

He suggested I could try making things! From scale modelling to modelling kits. That's more bloomin' like it, I think it would give me a chance to bring all my worlds to life - and maybe even make little models of my favourite characters. That is, if I can make them according to those so called 'design sheets'.

Oh - and also, I'm going to check out this French series which mixes Brum and Tarzan together. It's called Zoubi Doubi, and features model cars wandering the forest together, looking for mischief to get into. It's much better than the fast-paced, slapstick filled Roary The Racing Car, but if you want to see Brum in a new generation, then Zoubi Doubi is the one for you. Speaking of which....

A Message From Twilight Sparkle

Hi, blog visitors, I'm Twilight Sparkle and I've got some news. No, it's not another horrible CGI MLP series, but this is something so exciting that no one will ever believe it the first time. It's the fact that MY FRIEND GOT HER REQUEST FOR A MY LITTLE PONY SCRAPBOOK PAGE TURNED INTO A VIDEO BY VIOLET!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

So, thank you all for supporting her over the last seven years. Even through her struggles with mental health and negativity and other stuff I can't talk about, you fillies have made her progression in her life possible. So from my heart and hooves, a huge thanks to all of you!

SPIKE: What about me, Twilight? Do I get to thank the viewers too?

Oh. Okay then, and Spike thanks you too.

So keep up the good work and make my friend proud! You can do it! You have the power of not only friendship, but love and kindness!

The Sparkle Song (Hormonal Version)

Everyone has hormones,

Everyone and me

We all have them even when we pee

Everyone has hormones,

It all makes us cry

Sometimes it will make us want to die...

TINY: I think my friend's singing about something us Little Robots haven't heard of before. It's called, a 'Second Puberty'. Find out more about having a second puberty by visiting ClearBlue at:

https://www.clearblue.com/menstrual-cycle/what-is-second-puberty

Buddy Explains 'The Peeling Banana'

Oi oi, Buddy here. You're a bit surprised that I can actually talk after all these years of remaining silent, but ever since filming on my similarly named movie ended in 1998, I understood what some of my fans got up to - especially one by the name of *censored due to the online privacy protection act*.

You see, ever since last night she's been crying her eyes out. She even didn't scream when she banged her elbow on the doorknob near the sofa where she always sat. My little chimp friend Maggie told me that it's what's called a 'Peeling Banana', which means there's a banana inside her that's peeling very slowly. It's got a thousand layers, she told me, and with each layer that got pulled off, she bursts into tears, just like my owner when she was proud of me for doing something remarkable, like choosing what movie I want to watch for movie night.

I mean, it's not fair! Us apes don't have to suffer a banana peeling inside us, do we? Nah ah, no, zilch, nada. My owner has told me the stories of when the banana inside her began peeling. Not only did she cry non stop, but she actually began to develop teen angst! Yuck! Even my little simian brothers and sisters didn't like it.

Not only that, but my friend began experiencing other symptoms of the peeling banana as well, such as terrible itching. The itching was so bad I thought blue patches would come up on her skin! But no, no blue itchy patches - or at least, that's what they told me according to ape legend. Some of us apes do suffer with colourful itchy patches when our banana peels, but me? No way! I'm a boy, I don't have a banana, only female apes have a banana.

With a thousand layers.

Well at least she isn't a moody old teen anymore...is she?

Great British Kids' Favourites

• Thunderbirds - Edge Of Impact
• Brum - Brum & The Naughty Kittens
• Fourways Farm - Ups & Downs
• Tots TV - Camping

Being A Gorilla

Deep in the heart of the African jungle, Brains, Alan, Tin Tin and I are raised by gorillas. Like wolves, the gorillas in our family are kind, gentle and soft, just like their pitch black fur. Without any clothes, we are free to enjoy the openness of nature. My three friends and I are really vulnerable, and for me, I'm really tiny - we are protected by our family no matter what happens. Of course, I'm only three in this fantasy, stupid!

Anyway, we love our extended family so much. They give us rides on their backs when we feel so tired. We like to play with the baby gorillas, and cradle even the tiniest ones. And when bedtime comes, we cuddle near our mother who raised us, safe against each other's skin, wild and free, safe and protected among the leaves.

Children's Favourites: A New Generation

1. Brum - Brum At The Supermarket
2. He Man (2002) - Dragon's Brood
3. Transformers Armada - Confrontation
4. Thunderbirds - Cry Wolf
5. Stingray - Tom Thumb Tempest
6. Captain Scarlet - The Heart Of New York
7. Fireball XL5 - Drama At Space City
8. Max Steel (2000) - Spear Carriers
9. Horrid Henry - Horrid Henry's Sick Day
10. Tots TV - Rockpool

Lady Penelope On Mood Swings

"Oh darling, I know how getting hormonally upset can feel. When I reached the age of 13, I cried a lot before the terrible bleeding started. I threw away enough knickers to fill a landfill."

"But....mummy, it's not fair. I don't want teary eyes, or a snotty nose, or an eczema patch near my eye. I want to be me!"

"You're still you, darling, no matter what happens to the other members of International Rescue."

Learn with... Brum - Safari Park & Other Stories (LW00004 - 1992 VHS)

"It's just not fair," said Brum, "Everyone keeps calling me 'a kid with a bright coat of paint on', and everyone else says I have 'a brain full of motor oil'. I wish I could be someone else entirely - I want to be someone different for a change. And then, my brain won't be full of motor oil."

Brum Wheels and other stories VHS

While watching this, please remember to think about: crazy American families, Alice In Wonderland, Little Red Riding Hood, bears, wizards, charity shops, magical dolls, mystical salesmen at weird stores, pixies, fairies, gnomes, goblins, elves and two certain young ragdolls living aboard a canal boat.

Any guesses who they are?