Tech E's Jungle Fantasies

When he landed on that island, Tech E had no idea he would be accepted by nature. After all those visions he saw of wandering a blood red wasteland followed by simian creatures, he was accepted by his new friend - a baby monkey, who he decided to call Eugene.

Tech E and Eugene spent many gracious days playing together on the island. Their island. Their new home. They climbed the tallest trees and hung upside down from their branches, and Tech E wasn’t afraid of heights at all. They jumped about, squeaking and yelling like a Loonatic monkey should. They shared Eugene’s favourite fruit - bananas, ripe melons and berries.

Through all this, Tech discovered his true purpose in life. Not just a wild beast like his species once was, but a protector and comforter of who would become the source of man’s evolution - something he’d always dreamed of.

Tech E's Favourite Songs

Save Ralph - A short film with Taika Waititi

Tech E's Diary - January 13th

January 13 - My real life took me out for breakfast at McDonalds. It was great! We had bacon and cheese McMuffins, and from Tesco we had a sausage roll each, and my real life had a chocolate milk while I had a strawberry milkshake. Yum! Come to think of it, I seem to be missing someone in my life right now…

When I Realise Stingray Airs Early On Sunday Mornings....

Tech E's Emotional Day Out

Hi, Tech E here. I just had a bit of a cry because I really miss the two people I really cared about in my life. I'll tell you more about them later, but first, let's go way back to 9 in the morning.

My friend has invited me on a trip with her support worker to Inverness. Luckily he removed his baby daughter's booster seat so I can sit next to my friend - being fitted in a booster seat isn't all that fair when you're as grown up and inventive as the both of us - it's worse that having to go around with a dirty nappy all day. That's what we both talked about in the car on the way to Inverness.

When we stopped off at McDonald's, my friend's support worker ordered a cheese and bacon McMuffin for both of us, and even two cups of Coke Zero. We were both so hungry, and we encountered Brum on the way. We talked to him while waiting for our food about being able to see Noddy, Pingu, Postman Pat, Fireman Sam, Oakie Doke and The Animals Of Farthing Wood again, and once we had our food, it was Brunch time!

We ate our food like it was no tomorrow, and when I drank that much Coke, I could burp louder than Slam after eating at Chow Burger. I'm the best burper. Then we went to Tesco where my friend's support worker bought us a sausage roll each, a chocolate milk for my friend and a strawberry milkshake for me. Ah, pure bliss.

On the way we had to pick up Lexi Bunny, who had been standing out in the rain for three hours, and was relieved when we picked her up. At first, we drove through the strangest town and we didn't know where we were, but suddenly, we found out we were in Dingwall - home to the Puffin Pool. I wish I could go there someday.

On the way to the oil rigs, I began to cry hard. My friend comforted me, asking what the matter was - I told her everything, explaining about how I miss my foster mother Raja and my friend Melvin. Melvin and I were enemies in the show but are great friends in real life, so my friend sang me 'Peace On Earth' from Lady & The Tramp - it soothed me to sleep, and even Lexi got emotional.

When we got home, I sat on the sofa looking over pictures of me and Melvin from my photo album, almost getting so emotional my eyes were totally dry. And my friend felt it too - she began crying herself to sleep, thinking about how to bring us together.

And when she woke up, guess what she experienced - a sensory overload. People blubbering, shouting and snorting like pigs - she couldn't take it anymore!

Just...leave her to do a playlist for sensory overload, will you?

Orko's Weather Spell

Abracadabra,

Well I never,

I think these colours

Are perfect for the weather!

A Message From Captain Scarlet

Hello there, Captain Scarlet speaking. Recently, Fanderson wrote down that in 1968, my fans were treated to only nine minutes of my show before everyone controlling the TV empire went on strike. In my mind exactly, that wasn't true. Let me tell you all about it:

Well, Captain Black played a very brutal trick on those broadcasting my show by knocking down every single television pole in the country, and then he killed the people at the command console, turning them into Mysterons. Of course, Captain Blue and I were sent out on a mission to save ATV from such a dreadful so named 'strike' that happened to those who offered to air every adventure I've ever been on, but Captain Black had a much sinister plan up his jacket sleeve.

While Captain Blue and I were fighting off the Mysteron agents the ATV executives have become, Captain Black dragged me away into a basement where Destiny and the other Angels were being held captive. Then Black burst in and dragged Symphony away. While Black's back was turned, I knew this was my chance - I freed the Angels, called upon Captain Blue and we escaped just as the studio exploded into smithereens.

The good part? I didn't die.

A few months later, Symphony came to us and said she was experiencing a painful pregnancy - upon examination by Doctor Fawn, she learned she was having a Mysteron Pregnancy, and that she must be operated on immediately. I won't go into full detail about the operation, because it's too disgusting and revolting for sensitive blog readers.

The result? When Symphony woke up and her tummy was stitched back together, she realised she had given birth to...a baby alligator.

It probably explains why she felt sharp teeth inside her stomach snapping away at the walls inside it all the time.

Kermit's Swamp Years: The Lost Interview With Kermit

"Personally, everyone in the swamp felt like family to me - before this whole classic Muppet Movie incident started. My dad was my family, my mum, my brothers, my sisters, my cousins, even Lord Pondweed, the wisest frog in the swamp, all a family to me, and they all have the pride to play and have fun whenever they want. But what's the point? We don't like Disney anymore, not since they lost ideas and went to AI. Playing and having fun is what we're born to do, it makes us puppet frogs happy.

Erm....yay?

Oh. Yeah. No work today, that's the personal swamp motto!

Now I know it looks disgusting, but the way I see it, it's life before you hit the red carpet. If just one human can have the safer delusion that they're learning with Bear or The Hoobs, or blasting off into space with the Brats Of The Lost Nebula on Kids' WB, there's a-"

"Hey, Kermie! Kermie, what's with the interviewer, Slimeface?"

"She just follows me around, making a behind the scenes look at my Swamp Years or something..."

"Oooooooh!"

"Can I have a part?"

"Me too!/Sign me a waver!/We want a part in your movie, Kermit!"

"Tell me about it. You can't trust my bros. They call me useless before I became an actor with slime on my back. Alright, here we go. No no no no no, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh SH*****************!!!"

The creators of this satirical documentary would like to stress that they in no way wish to cause offence to any real life dead lab-tested frogs.

How I View Kermit's Swamp Years

Disney Cereals DVD Read Along Promo

Story Game - A Snow Day!

It's time for a story game! Since I'm not going out, now's the time for Furaha and Orko to have a cosy snow day as well...but this time, YOU'RE in charge! Okay, I promise I won't be too loud this time, but still:

1: It's snowing outside! What kind of toothpaste would Furaha and Orko use to wake them up?

A: Pokemon Toothpaste

B: Bluey Toothpaste

C: Barbie Toothpaste

D: Winnie The Pooh Toothpaste

Mmm, interesting.

2: What would they like for breakfast today?

A: Pancakes with bacon and eggs

B: Air fryer cheese sarnies

C: A huge bowl of cornflakes

D: Sausage rolls, because...why not?

Well, I think you're guessing well.

3: What board game shall they play with their parents Kiburi and Ua?

A: Lion King Board Game

B: Bluey Scavenger Hunt

C: The Logo Board Game

D: The Best Of British

Good game!

4: One of their friends calls them outside to play in the snow! Who do you think it is?

A: Little Ghoul

B: Gatomon

C: Jetfire

D: Timon, Pumbaa, Tip & Dash

Perfect!

5: What game would they play in the snow today?

A: Snowball fight

B: Snow angels

C: Making snowmen

D: Build a snow fort

Cold, but exciting.

6: Time to go in! What cartoon should they watch?

A: Transformers Armada

B: Franklin

C: Guess How Much I Love You

D: Kipper

7: And what kind of cocoa would they have?

A: Plain

B: With marshmallows

C: With Lucky Charms marshmallows

D: With chocolate biscuits on the side

How cosy.

8: And finally, it's time for bed. What kind of pyjamas would our two friends wear?

A: Lion King pyjamas

B: Waffle The Wonder Dog pyjamas

C: My Little Pony pyjamas

D: Disney Princess pyjamas

Curious Thoughts - A Wizard's Tears

Last night, I put on He Man to soothe me to sleep, and as I drifted off to the L.O.N, I saw a story I never want to forgive anyone for, set to music from the above video: Orko wandered places around a town on Earth, even an empty park, because He Man had treated him in a cruel manner. Eternia was such a cold-hearted and horrid place to him, and that's why he was alone. At last, he broke down into tears and began to cry, but luckily, Furaha was there to comfort him, and the two shared a hug that even brought Furaha to silent, yet happy tears.

Didn't some old Disney story say, "It's through our tears that we find another way?" I wanted to cry when I woke up first thing, because the song in the video above was so emotional. It made me think of how awful life was today, and how we all want to go back to when we were kids - some caregivers to protect us and keep us safe. But as I got older, I experienced mental health issues and negativity, and I resorted to slice of life moments between my characters because I wanted to go back to when I was a kid - minus all the stereotypical things that make the AgeRe genre.

But you must know this: when we cry due to the emotional weight we experience from growing up, we're actually smiling inside. We feel that secret smile from the moment we shed our first tears, and it's telling us we're finding joyful things inside the saddest moments of our lives. All the times I cried, I felt myself smiling inside - and that's a reminder that, in the future, anxiety, negativity and mental health issues will be caused by two words: perfectionism and publicity.

However, only last month I discovered that the P words don't matter to me anymore, because I don't need a job. All I need is the simple life I wanted - making handmade books is okay, but publishing?

NO WAY!

"Sometimes, it's through our tears that we find another way."

-The narrator of The Ballad Of Nessie