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Saturday, 16 July 2022

Campfire Confessions

Luke, Resus, Cleo, Luella, Six, Bluey, Bingo, Rusty, Jack and I are going camping in the woods. It is a dark, beautiful night and we are all sitting together around a campfire eating sausage rolls and sitting in the warm, glad to be in each other’s company. “Isn’t it great out there?” I said, “No walls, just trees.” “Mmmmm, I feel the same way as you do too, Sybil,” said Six, “It feels like home.” “Home is where the heart is, that’s what they say, and if they say it, I’m saying it too,” said Cleo. “But your heart is in a box, at home on a shelf! In a cupboard where no one can steal it.” I pointed out. “Why did I forget?” sighed Cleo, and we all laughed.


But Jack laughed so much his sausage roll got stuck down his throat. “Don’t worry, Jack, I’ll help!” cried Rusty. He banged his best friend on the back, until the sausage roll flew out into the fire. “Hooray!” we all cheered. “Good one, Rusty,” said Luke. “Thanks,” “Rusty replied. “I never knew you could force food out of people like that. Hey, I remember one time I stuck two celery sticks up my nose.” “Oh yeah? Well I accidentally used the ketchup from my meal out with my family as make-up,” responded Rusty. “And?” “I nearly got into trouble. In fact, we were nearly banned from the restaurant for bad manners.” Luella was starting to gag a little. “Oh wow, great confession,” said Resus, applauding sarcastically.


“This ketchup thing is, like, putting me off my food.” said Luella. “Not if it squirts out of a hot dog, and then morphs into a disgusting gross monster with snot dribbling out of it!” Luella flinched and screamed, while everyone cracked up laughing. “Good one, Sybil,” said Cleo. “Yeah, you really told a scary story just then.” laughed Bluey. “I’m never eating ketchup again! I don’t want to hear anymore!” cried Luella. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop. Right, okay, any more things to say?” Resus was the first to speak. “I used my mum’s blood perfume once.” he said sheepishly. Everyone began to gasp and shout jokingly. “You didn’t!” cried Bingo. “I did! It was to smell sweet so I can impress my dark angel…” Luella giggled. “Seriously though, I’m not supposed to like blood.” “We stole Dad’s sandwich while he was taking a nap,” said Bingo. “Lemme guess - it inspired Octopus.” “A lesson based on this game. Millions of children across Australia took part in their very own Octopus game!” “It’s only a game, there’s no way a game can spawn such a complicated yet fun home education thingy.”

Friday, 15 July 2022

Ooh, Appropriate Desert Beats!

Zed's Favourite Music

My First Mega

Check this out! It's my first Mega magazine, complete with Marvel Superheroes, epic lols and a Jellystone comic! Can this get any better?








Friendship Stories: Sand Against My Skin: Arena Contra Mi Piel

Luke, Resus, Cleo, Luella, Six and me are banished into the depths of the Arabian desert. We’ve been stripped off our clothes so we’re wandering stark naked amongst the sand (except Cleo, she wears bandages). What brought us here? It was for a crime we didn’t commit. It was why we were hated and exiled far off into the desert, where we were left to become feral for the rest of our lives. The sun was boiling hot as we trudge along the deep sand with our bare feet. The only thing we’re desperate to find is water. Our throats are as dry as the desert itself, and our bodies are sweating heavily from the heat. Six is so thirsty, and her ribs are poking through her chest. She isn’t taking a single portion of the journey anymore. She collapsed onto the sand with a gasp of air, and we raced up to help her. “SIX!” we cry.

Luke, Resus, Cleo, Luella, Six y yo somos desterrados a las profundidades del desierto de Arabia. Nos han quitado la ropa, así que vagamos desnudos por la arena (excepto Cleo, que lleva vendajes). ¿Qué nos trajo aquí? Fue por un crimen que no cometimos. Fue por eso que fuimos odiados y exiliados lejos en el desierto, donde nos dejaron volvernos salvajes por el resto de nuestras vidas. El sol estaba hirviendo mientras caminábamos por la arena profunda con nuestros pies descalzos. Lo único que estamos desesperados por encontrar es agua. Nuestras gargantas están tan secas como el mismo desierto, y nuestros cuerpos sudan mucho por el calor. Seis tiene mucha sed y las costillas se le clavan en el pecho. Ella ya no está tomando una sola parte del viaje. Se derrumbó en la arena con una bocanada de aire y corrimos para ayudarla. "¡SEIS!" Nosotros lloramos.


“You’re going to be okay, just hold my hand, it’ll be fine,” I warn her. “I’m not powering down…” Six croaks, coughing weakly. “Then what is it? What do you want?” “I need water.” said Six. “Water? We all need water and so do you. There’s no water until we reach the other side. It’s only 60 miles away.” said Cleo. “I’m getting a headache now,” groaned Six. She felt a sharp, stinging pain through her throbbing head. “Our legs are tired too,” said Luke. Unfortunately, we were wrong to admit that water was just 60 miles away. Read on to reveal more. “It’s about time we had a rest,” I said, and we all sat down atop the sand dune, looking over the desert. The sand beneath us was all soft and comfortable. It gave us plenty of time to think. “Nice and quiet,” I smiled, listening with my sharp ears. I could hear nothing except the warm wind all around. “Yeah,” said Resus, “No clothes, just freedom. In fact, it might not be too bad.” Suddenly, Luella pointed. “Like, look at that sunset!” We gasped as we stared at the golden sunset, warm and beautiful in the orange sky.


"Vas a estar bien, solo toma mi mano, estará bien", le advierto. “No voy a apagar…” Six croa, tosiendo débilmente. "¿Entonces que es eso? ¿Qué quieres?" "Necesito agua." dijo Seis. "¿Agua? Todos necesitamos agua y tú también. No hay agua hasta que llegamos al otro lado. Está a solo 60 millas de distancia”. dijo Cleo. "Me está dando dolor de cabeza ahora", se quejó Six. Sintió un dolor agudo y punzante a través de su cabeza palpitante. “Nuestras piernas también están cansadas”, dijo Luke. Desafortunadamente, nos equivocamos al admitir que el agua estaba a solo 60 millas de distancia. Siga leyendo para revelar más. “Ya era hora de que descansáramos”, dije, y todos nos sentamos en lo alto de la duna de arena, mirando hacia el desierto. La arena debajo de nosotros era suave y cómoda. Nos dio mucho tiempo para pensar. "Agradable y tranquilo", sonreí, escuchando con mis agudos oídos. No podía escuchar nada excepto el viento cálido alrededor. “Sí”, dijo Resus, “sin ropa, solo libertad. De hecho, podría no ser tan malo”. De repente, Luella señaló. "¡Como, mira esa puesta de sol!" Nos quedamos boquiabiertos mientras contemplamos la puesta de sol dorada, cálida y hermosa en el cielo anaranjado.


I felt so much freedom. So much irresistable happiness. I fall over and start to tumble over and over on the sand dunes, calling “Wheeeeeeeee!!” Seeing this as a fun game, my friends decide to join in too. Soon, we are all screaming and laughing as we roll down the steep dunes. Six, now forgetting her headache and thirst, joined in, and she enjoyed it the most. In fact, we all enjoy doing this together. As we did, the sky got darker, and stars began to fill the sky. The darkness of night was fast approaching. At last, we landed in a heap on the bottom, laughing and sighing in relief. We rolled over and lay down in the softness of the sand, gazing up at the darkening sky. “Aaaaaah. Nice and cool.” I sighed.


Sentí tanta libertad. Tanta felicidad irresistible. Me caigo y empiezo a dar vueltas una y otra vez sobre las dunas de arena, gritando “¡¡Wheeeeeeeee!!” Al ver esto como un juego divertido, mis amigos deciden unirse también. Pronto, todos estamos gritando y riendo mientras rodamos por las empinadas dunas. Six, ahora olvidando su dolor de cabeza y sed, se unió y lo disfrutó más. De hecho, todos disfrutamos haciendo esto juntos. Mientras lo hacíamos, el cielo se oscureció y las estrellas comenzaron a llenar el cielo. La oscuridad de la noche se acercaba rápidamente. Finalmente, aterrizamos en el fondo, riendo y suspirando de alivio. Nos dimos la vuelta y nos acostamos en la suavidad de la arena, contemplando el cielo que se oscurecía. “Aaaaaah. Lindo y agradable." Suspiré.


“A little t-t-t-t-too c-c-c-cold,” shivers Resus. I had to laugh again, because the night made the atmosphere of the desert grow cold in these parts, and worst yet, he hadn’t got any clothes on! “Resus!” I spluttered, “That’s because you don’t have any clothes on! It’s our body temperature that depends whether we keep warm or not.” “If I had my magic cloak back, I’ll be warm as toast.” said Resus, hugging himself. “Butter can’t spread itself onto sand, you know,” said Cleo, folding her arms and looking directly at the starry sky. Luella’s tummy was starting to rumble. “I’m hungry,” she wailed. “You’re right, Luella, we’re skin and bone. Look! Our ribs are showing!” We looked down to see our ribs poking through our chests. Resus began to panic. Luke remained calm. “We’ll be dead in the morning!” cried Resus. “Let’s get some sleep now. We’ll find some food in the morning.” Snuggling next to each other’s skin and sighing some deep, gentle breaths, we closed our eyes and went to sleep on a soft bed of sand. In the darkness, two Arabian leopards were stalking their prey - an antelope, chewing on some fresh grass. The antelope doesn’t notice the leopards, but the leopards notice the antelope. Before the antelope could look up, they POUNCE!


“Un poco t-t-t-t-demasiado c-c-c-frío”, se estremece Resus. Tuve que reírme de nuevo, porque la noche enfriaba el ambiente del desierto por estos lados, y lo peor de todo, ¡no tenía ropa puesta! "¡Resus!" Balbuceé: “¡Eso es porque no tienes ropa puesta! Es la temperatura de nuestro cuerpo la que depende de si nos mantenemos calientes o no”. "Si recuperara mi capa mágica, estaría caliente como una tostada". dijo Resus, abrazándose a sí mismo. "La mantequilla no se puede untar sola en la arena, ya sabes", dijo Cleo, cruzándose de brazos y mirando directamente al cielo estrellado. La barriga de Luella estaba empezando a rugir. "Tengo hambre", se lamentó. “Tienes razón, Luella, somos piel y hueso. ¡Mirar! ¡Nuestras costillas se están mostrando! Miramos hacia abajo para ver nuestras costillas asomando a través de nuestros pechos. Resus comenzó a entrar en pánico. Luke mantuvo la calma. ¡Estaremos muertos por la mañana! exclamó Resus. “Vamos a dormir un poco ahora. Encontraremos algo de comida por la mañana. Acurrucándonos uno al lado de la piel del otro y suspirando algunas respiraciones profundas y suaves, cerramos los ojos y nos dormimos en una suave cama de arena. En la oscuridad, dos leopardos árabes acechaban a su presa: un antílope, masticando hierba fresca. El antílope no se fija en los leopardos, pero los leopardos se fijan en el antílope. ¡Antes de que el antílope pudiera mirar hacia arriba, saltan!


The next morning, Luke is the first to wake up. He spotted something in the distance - a fresh kill, left overnight by the two leopards. The antelope that was grazing overnight. “FOOD!” he yelled. Hearing his cry, we leapt up and ran towards the kill, digging into the meaty flesh. Six stared at it in awe, drooling. Cleo approached her, putting her hand on her shoulder. “That’s it, Six, come and eat with us,” she encouraged. With that, she joined our first meal in ages. We eat it all, right up to its skeletal bits. Full up, we headed on our way. We journeyed miles and miles, when all of a sudden, I saw a small rocky cliff with a hill of deep sand underneath it. I climbed up it, ran to the edge and leapt off the diving board sized cliff. I popped up with sand all over, laughing in joy. “Come on, guys,” I call, “Try it!” Starting with Luke, each of my friends has a go, and soon we are forgetting all our worries and jumping into the deep sand below, laughing as we scruffle sand into our hair.


A la mañana siguiente, Luke es el primero en despertar. Vio algo en la distancia: una presa reciente, dejada durante la noche por los dos leopardos. El antílope que estuvo pastando durante la noche. "¡ALIMENTO!" el grito. Al escuchar su grito, nos levantamos de un salto y corrimos hacia la matanza, cavando en la carne carnosa. Six lo miró asombrado, babeando. Cleo se acercó a ella, poniendo su mano sobre su hombro. “Ya está, Six, ven a comer con nosotros”, la animó. Con eso, se unió a nuestra primera comida en mucho tiempo. Nos lo comemos todo, hasta sus partes esqueléticas. Completamente lleno, nos dirigimos en nuestro camino. Viajamos millas y millas, cuando de repente, vi un pequeño acantilado rocoso con una colina de arena profunda debajo. Lo subí, corrí hasta el borde y salté del acantilado del tamaño de un trampolín. Aparecí con arena por todas partes, riendo de alegría. “Vamos, muchachos”, llamo, “¡Pruébenlo!” Comenzando con Luke, cada uno de mis amigos tiene una oportunidad, y pronto nos olvidamos de todas nuestras preocupaciones y saltamos a la arena profunda de abajo, riéndonos mientras nos metemos arena en el cabello.


When it was Luella’s turn, she fell not on soft sand, but on a spiky something. “Ow! My bottom!” she cried. I turned, and looked to see a desert hedgehog making its way across the sand. “You have to treat the hedgehog with respect,” I smiled, and gestured Luella to the hedgehog. Luella’s expression immediately changed. “Aaaaaawww,” she sighed, picking it up. She felt its spikes. They weren’t too sharp and spiky, they were in fact soft. Soft enough for a trainee witch. Soon, everyone wanted to cuddle the hedgehog and touch its twitchy nose. The hedgehog liked us more than we liked the hedgehog, and Luella agreed that desert hedgehogs really are her favourite animals to protect in the desert. A few minutes later, we headed on our way.

Thursday, 14 July 2022

What A Hilarity!

No, No, No, It's Not Happening...

Why does CBBC have to premiere such stupidly inappropriate cartoons?!
To keep away from this mess, just watch Scream Street series 1 on iPlayer. You'll thank me later...

Star Wars Joke Book

Look what I got in the post! The Star Wars Joke Book - some of them might inspire some new stories in my mind. I haven't thought any up, but I have thought up a Bluey recipe!

Bluey & Bingo Are Even More Excited!

Bluey and Bingo are awfully excited! Not one, not two, but three exciting new things are coming to Disney+ this July-August! The Book Of Pooh, Lego Star Wars Summer Vacation and Bluey Season 3! How cool is that?!

What I Want My Cakes To Look Like

Bluey Season 3 Chocolate Cake

Big news - Bluey Season 3 is coming to Disney+ next month, on the 10th of August! So to celebrate, make this wackadoo cake to share when the series comes out. You will need:


  • 150g cocoa powder

  • 600ml boiling water

  • 360g butter, softened

  • 600g caster sugar

  • 2tsp vanilla extract

  • 6 eggs, room temperature

  • 360g self raising flour

  • 2tsp baking powder

  • ½tsp bicarbonate of soda

  • ½tsp salt

For the icing:

  • 250g butter, softened

  • 500g icing sugar, sifted

  • Yellow, orange, black, pink, blue and white food colouring

  • To make this triple layer chocolate cake, preheat the oven to 180°C/350°F/Gas Mark 4. Lightly grease and flour the 25cm round cake tins.

  • Combine the boiling water with the cocoa powder and stir until smooth. Leave to cool.Sift the flour with the baking powder, baking soda and salt, set aside.

  • Cream the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add the vanilla then the eggs one at a time, beating well between each addition. Add all of the flour, gently mix until just combined. Fold in the cooled cocoa.

  • Divide the mixture into the prepared cake tins and bake for 35 mins or until a cocktail stick inserted into the centre of each cake comes out clean. Loosen the edges with a knife to reduce cracking the cake as it cools and shrinks. Leave to cool for 20 mins then turn out onto a wire rack to cool completely.

  • For the buttercream: Melt the chocolate over a bain marie.

  • Cream the butter until smooth, gradually add the icing sugar and continue to cream until light and fluffy. Add the chocolate and beat until combined. Finally add the vanilla and the milk, creaming until combined and the mixture is soft, add a little extra milk if you feel it is not a spreadable mixture.

  • Cut the tops off each cake and level. Using a palette knife spread a coating of buttercream onto the top of the bottom two cake layers. Sandwich the three layers together.

  • Place the icing sugar and the butter in another bowl and stir until thick and creamy. Next, divide it into separate bowls and add the food colouring.

  • Spread the blue icing over the top of the cake, then coat the sides. Ice some outlines of tiger face paint Bingo from Curry Quest, Lucky’s dad holding a pink present from Pass The Parcel and Chef Bandit from Pavlova.

  • Colour your iced characters well, then write ‘10.8.22’ up above using black icing.

  • Serve and enjoy, kiddos!

Come Back, Bluey!

I thought Bluey would never premiere with new episodes on Disney+, not since CBeebies announced their new episodes....but next month on the 10th of August, it'll finally happen!
Yes, you heard me, Bluey Season 3 is finally premiering on Disney+ all over the world, and soon it'll air on Disney Channel and Disney Junior in America! I can't wait. I'm finally going to see episodes like Curry Quest, Pass The Parcel and Faceytalk up close and personal, even when Mum goes to the vet the day after it's released. Trust me, it'll be awesome! Here's all you need to celebrate the arrival of the new series right here: