When You Dig Into Turkey Dinosaurs...

A Work Of Art

Copin'

I'm taking a little break while I figure out the first chapter name for my recent work, Welcome To The Family: The Australian Road Trip, but in the meantime, here's a screenshot of how it turned out.

Goin' To Surf City...IN SPACE!

As if 2022 wasn't exciting enough, in a few weeks I'm going to see the Star Wars characters hit the beach! That's right, Lego Star Wars is returning with a new Summer special, and the tagline should be:

'This Summer, it's Finn's time to shine."

Adding Pictures To Stories Is Easy & Fun!

Scream Street Presents...

If you want to make your own Scream Street related stories and sketches, watch this video tutorial from Mega about making Scream-tastic stand up! Just....ignore the clips from Series 2, 'cause they're too unsettling.

I.B.F.Fs: The Real Spooktacular Joke Book - Dig Vs Roger

One fine day, Dig was strolling through the park looking for something to play with. He couldn’t stop strutting and stumbling along the path, thinking about how wonderful the world was when there was nothing to do. In fact, he almost acted like Fred Astaire with all these moves. He approached a short wall and clambered up it. He balanced on it like a tightrope walker and leapt off, bowing as if an audience was there to applaud him. But what he did know was that he was right near the pond. He gazed at his reflection slowly. There was another Dig staring right at him. When he moved to the left, the other Dig moved with him, and when he moved to the right, the other Dig moved with him too! Dig was confused. Why was his reflection acting up? Suddenly, a family of ducks swam in and dissolved his reflection. Dig didn’t care. He just ran off, barking with laughter.

He hadn’t gone too far when he saw a hot dog kiosk just nearby. Near it stood Roger, the school bully and the older brother of kindy student Jasper, who was sitting at the table eating the most delicious ketchup slathered hot dog you could ever imagine. “Mmmmm, that should fill my pallet until Mum and Jaspie-Waspie get back.” he mumbled to himself, chewing on his hot dog delicacy. Dig wanted it first. He ran up to the table, leapt over it and took the hot dog from Roger’s paws, just as he was about to take a bite. Roger bit down on his teeth! “Oi! Where’d my hot dog go?” he shouted, and saw Dig running off with it. “Come back here!” he cried, and the chase was on!

Roger was chasing Dig round the park quickly than he ever had done before. Dig ran past a bench, and a flock of birds began to scatter. Dig leapt over a stone, but Roger lost his balance, tripped and fell over! Roger wasn’t ready to give up now, he raced after Dig towards the roundabout, where Dig leapt on and began to spin. Roger was going round in circles chasing after him, in fact he was chasing after him so much he felt dizzy. Dig had won the chase. He raced behind a tree and tucked into his hot dog, giving a little hiccup as he did. Roger clenched his fists in anger and roared.

A little while later, Roger was out for a spin on his skateboard across the street. He was being like every teenager, whirling around and doing some cool tricks until his arms fell off and his knees were bent. That is, until he tripped over Dig. Dig barked and smiled and waggled his tongue happily. “Why you little…!” cried Roger, and he started to chase Dig across the streets, all the way to the airport. Dig jumped onto a blue plane and set off flying. Roger leapt into a red plane, donned a cap and goggles, and set off flying. The two planes jetted across the sky, flying after each other at the speed of sound. As Dig flew, a flock of geese flew past him. Dig flew with them, totally misunderstanding what he was supposed to do. Another plane overtook Roger’s, and Roger honked the horn on the plane as if it were a car.

The two planes flew higher and higher, travelling in circles, until they ran out of fuel. Roger grabbed Dig, but soon they were holding onto the moon, with Dig grabbing hold of Roger’s foot using his teeth. They were a long way up, and Roger was desperately terrified of heights. “Let go of me, your teeth are digging into my skin!” he cried. Roger’s hands were sweating, and Dig was biting down harder. Suddenly, Roger’s grip couldn’t take anymore. Roger let go, and both were falling, out of Space, and down towards earth again…straight towards the duck pond.

Roger sat up, pondweed in his mouth, feeling disgraceful. Dig got out, feeling extremely proud of himself and shaking himself ‘til he was all dry. He looked, and saw the family of ducks that he saw earlier, eating the pondweed and pecking Roger so that he got his just desserts. A tear came into Dig’s eye, but he wiped it away and set off down the path. It wasn’t long until he reached me, Luke, Resus and Cleo again. “Dig! Who’s a good boy?!” I cried, scooping him up into his arms and cuddling him, stroking his wet fur. “Don’t ever stow away like that again. We were worried about you!” “And this is why we saw those two planes flying about in the sky…until they crashed into the ocean.” joked Resus, and we all laughed as we made our way home.

I.B.F.Fs: The Real Spooktacular Joke Book - Understand Them Better

Dr Skulley stared longingly at his pupils. They were busy working on an English assignment, quietly dragging pencils and pens across lined paper. He thought the class was in perfect working order by the time he announced the assignment on the Salem witch trials, which offended Luella one bit but she soon got used to it. During the assignment, most of the students turned and whispered to each other, giggling over those secrets. Everyone was paying attention to one another - all except for Chucker and Basher. They were just sitting in their seats, writing slowly, with no attention paid to them anymore. Dr Skulley knew something had to be done.

At break time, Dr Skulley called Chucker and Basher back into class. He wanted to have a word with them. “Now then, you two, recently I just saw how much my students aren’t paying attention to the both of you. All they do is talk to each other, but not you. What am I going to do with you?” Chucker and Basher looked at each other, confused and concerned. “Everyone pays attention to someone. Everyone needs special care sometimes. Which is why I suddenly have an amazing idea. Tonight is the next full moon. By that point, you’ll join me in a ritual to help you get understood better. The ritual will take place tonight, and you will stay in school until it’s time. No, I’m not saying that you need detention, it’s about time you need a bit of respect in this classroom. Now run along and play.” As Chucker and Basher ran out of the classroom, Dr Skulley rubbed his skeletal hands with evil glee. “Right, that’s another way out of the way, can’t risk having a werewolf around when the Poltergeist twins partake in a ritual…”

That night, a full moon shone in the dark, dark sky. Chucker and Basher stood outside as Dr Skulley came out of the empty school building wearing a velvety red robe. He drew a big circle on a clear patch on the ground, then placed a dozen candles around it. Lighting each one took rather a long time, but finally, he finished. “Stand well back.” he demanded, and the Poltergeist twins did as he said. Dr Skulley raised his hands as the clouds parted, revealing the full, delicate moon in the sky. “Oh great spirit, give my students the power to understand those naive Poltergeist children!” The moon’s light shone down on the candles, and immediately the circle started to light up with a thousand flames. “Arise, arise, and make them feel understood more!” Dr Skulley shouted loudly over the noise of the roaring flames. Chucker and Basher looked scared. The candles were melting, and the moon’s light shone brighter on the growing fire. “Give a more understanding nature to my pupils, and they’ll trust Chucker and Basher more!” The flames roared up into the sky and disappeared into the full moon, turning it yellow. The whole street shone yellow too. The candles had melted entirely, and everything was quiet again.

Chucker and Basher were delighted. The ritual had worked! The two ran to Dr Skulley and hugged him. “I’m glad you like this ritual. Now run off home to your parents. I suppose they’ll understand them more. But sssssshhhhh, don’t tell anyone I let you perform an ancient ritual at night!” Chucker and Basher grabbed their bags from inside the empty school building and raced away.

The next day, the students were quietly writing as usual. Dr Skulley waited long and hard to see if the ritual worked. Then, the students turned their heads towards Chucker and Basher. “Oooooooh,” they moaned sadly, and they all ran up to the lonely Poltergeist twins. They were being stroked, patted and comforted before you knew it. “Poor Chucker and Basher!” they said out of comfort. “YES!” screamed Dr Skulley, jumping up and down in excitement, “Let’s see how gravity defies you now, almighty devil!”

He turned away from his supportive class and smeared his white, boney forehead with bloody war paint. This begs the question: was it really Dr Skulley who made the ritual successful?

Who knows.

When You're Ready To Go Nude Swimming With Luke, Resus & Cleo...

Nude swimming. It's a fact of life.

Woke M&M's

Bluey & The Special Event

It was an exciting day at the London convention centre. It was the first day of X-Itecon, a place where all the exciting things that occured this year are on display. This year, the main attractions were Bluey on CBeebies, Chip N Dale and The Book Of Pooh on Disney+ and the new Scream Street books, The Petrifying Puzzle Book and The Terrifying Trivia Book.

Bluey's Back!

Here, read the information on these pictures. You may have to enlarge them if you want to see more.

I.B.F.Fs: The Real Spooktacular Joke Book - Hunchback

“Now then, class,” said Dr Skulley one bright, breezy morning. “Today we are going to write essays based around our favourite Disney films or series. I know you’ve been watching a lot of Disney+ lately, but due to the Coronavirus pandemic which brought forth our awful second series adventures…” The whole class began to boo. “Quiet!” cried Dr Skulley. “There’ll be no booing in the class! Now, as I was saying, due to the Coronavirus pandemic, CBBC is advertising iPlayer a lot, and someday it’ll mean CBBC will be rid of once and for all.” The whole class cheered. No one cheered louder than Luke. “Yeah, good riddance!” called Resus. “I know you’re all excited, but now let’s get to work on our essays.”

Everyone started writing down essays about their favourite Disney films. Six was mostly writing about The Hunchback Of Notre Dame, her favourite Disney film, when Jasper leaned over to her and whispered in her ear. “Hey, have you seen Star Wars?” “Star Wars? What are they?” asked Six. “You know, galactic battles way up in Outer Space. Han, Chewie, C-3PO, all that stuff, BB-8, Rey, Finn…” “Oh, I know now,” said Six. Luke, Resus and Cleo stood out from the crowd, as they were writing essays on Zenimation. Here’s what Luke wrote down:

“Zenimation is a lovely, calming series from Disney+. It’s not too bright or flashy like others, but you’ll never look at Disney characters ever again after seeing this. We watch it with Sybil at home, and boy, does it soothe us before we get ready for bed. Just seeing images like Koda running through a dandelion field, Old Chief showing a softer side to puppy Copper and Winnie The Pooh and Christopher Robin making their way to the river is just what we need when we’ve had a stressful day at school and we need to avoid all the turmoil we experience watching CBBC.”

“Hey, Resus,” said Luke, “Why don’t we watch Zenimation and Star Wars Galaxy Of Sounds when we get home tonight?” “Yeah, why not? Watching people fighting with lightsabers is always a nice way to calm us down. Remember when we were battling with lightsabers when Cleo’s boyfriend showed up?” “That was Dixon.” said Cleo, “And trust me, I thought we’d never talk about when I was with-” “Oi!” screamed Dixon, and threw his paper at Cleo. Cleo threw her paper back. Then Farp threw a spitball through a straw at Dixon. Soon, everyone was throwing pieces of paper about, chanting “Paper Balls! Paper Balls! Paper Balls!” “Who is responsible for this?” cried Dr Skulley, but a piece of paper bonked him on the head and he was knocked out cold. Luke, Resus and Cleo continued writing their essays in all the chaos.

Dixon got detention because of his paper fight, but Luke, Resus and Cleo were rewarded gold skulls (y’know, like gold stars, but in Scream Street form) by Dr Skulley for the most beautiful essays. Luke, Resus and Cleo went to pick me up from school. I ran out of the door and raced towards my siblings, who cuddled me and gave me great kisses. I showed him the picture I painted of me and Bluey together. “Well, that’s a lovely picture, we can put it up on the wall when we get back.” said Cleo. “Would you like to watch Zenimation with us?” “Do I ever,” I said, “I’ve had the most stressing day in the history of the world ever.”

At home, we put on our pyjamas and sat down in front of the TV to watch Disney+. Luke, Resus and Cleo showed me their essays. “They’re beautifully written,” I said. “It’s a shame you had to do it when Dixon caused a paper ball fight.” “Well, it’s a shame he had detention. The stupid shapeshifter. Anyway, let’s get on with relaxing to Disney!” said Resus. We turned on Zenimation and the short ‘Natural Wonders’. It was great. We were staring for ages at the beginning images of blurred images of a forest. “Which movie is that from?” I asked, confused. “Bambi?” asked Luke. “The Fox & The Hound?” asked Resus. “Melody Time?” asked Cleo. As each clip progressed, we relaxed and took it all in, hearing the sounds of nature, wind blowing and leaves flying in the breeze. We especially like Mufasa sitting with Simba atop Pride Rock. There was even footage from Fantasia 2000 in there, of seagulls flying over a glacier. The clip following was from The Hunchback Of Notre Dame, of Quasimodo climbing up Notre Dame against a purple sky. That was when Luke paused the film. “Something tells me our cousin likes this film,” he said. “Why?” I asked. “It’s a matter of yes or no. We have to phone her and find out.”

Six was just getting ready for bed when the phone rang. She went to answer it. “Hello? Six speaking.” “Hi, Six, it’s Luke. I just called to find out if you like the Hunchback Of Notre Dame or not.” “Well, I wasn’t around when the film was released, but I was around when clips of the show were featured in Zenimation.” she said. “By the way, I like the Hunchback Of Notre Dame, especially the crazy sightings you find before Quasimodo gets chosen and thrown fruit at. I especially like the gargoyles, shame there aren’t many in Scream Street. They were all scared away in October 2020, the year I arrived on screens, and boy was it a pain. I got possessed by a face mask! I wish these episodes never aired.” Six was sad now, but Luke was offering a comforting hand to those who were in trouble. “Watching Disney makes you forget all your worries! Just listen to the song Hakuna Matata and everything will be okay.” “Yes! Okay, Luke!” said Six. Once she hung up, Six found Dr F’s old radio. She switched channels, and sure enough the original Hakuna Matata was playing. How Six danced!

When we went to bed that night, something remarkably strange happened. The window slowly opened and let in an intense breeze. Leaves danced into our house, and the curtains blew like ghosts in the wind. Suddenly, a magical noise woke us all up. We looked around and saw a door in the door of our cupboard. It was big enough to fit all of us. We got out of bed and went to have a look. It was very strange, yet it was very satisfying. I opened the door and saw a white light. “Are you sure it’s safe?” asked Resus curiously. “Maybe, yes, but one thing’s for sure, it’s something to do with our essays. Come on.” Luke, Resus, Cleo and I went through the door and found ourselves in a dark tunnel leading outwards towards the light. The ground beneath our feet was now soil and earth. The light got closer and closer, until…

We found ourselves in an entirely dark new world. The fog was a dark, murky blue and the grass was waving in the gentle wind. It was a strangely tranquil place, but we knew there was more to this place than meets the eye. We tried to find our way around the place, but all we could see was fields of green. “It’s no good. We can’t find anything anywhere.” I moaned. “Maybe if we can use our ears, we could hear what’s in the distance.” said Cleo. We listened hard, and sure enough we could hear the sound of crashing water. I knew what I had to do. I took hold of Luke’s hand. He held Resus’ pale hand, then Cleo’s, and we all made our way to the edge of a cliff. It overlooked an entire beach, all empty and serene, with waves splashing onto the shore. We climbed down the cliff and raced towards the beach. We ran together like we had never run before, wild and free with the wind. It was so freeing and joyous, and we had never felt this much freedom in our lives.

But suddenly, as we were running, we found it. A sight that shocked us. The graves of all our friends from Scream Street, including our parents. “Dad!” cried Cleo, and he ran up to Niles’ grave, sobbing. “No…mum, dad, please!” Resus sobbed, and knelt down by his parent’s graves. “No!” wailed Luke, kneeling by his parents’ graves. I was standing by Six’s grave, looking forlorn. Even Dr F was buried away in her grave, her tombstone covered in thick red blood. When I looked around, I saw that Luke, Resus and Cleo were engraved in the sand too, their tombstones covered in blood too. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” I shouted, and ran towards their graves. “Please, you’ve got to be okay. If you can be alive just for this once, I’ll say goodbye to you. Please…please!” Just then, I felt the cold water of the ocean around my feet, and I felt it rising up, until it covered my entire body. I held onto Luke’s grave for comfort, but then I sunk deeper into the ocean and drowned. 

The next thing I knew, I woke up and it was morning! I looked around. Everything seemed okay, no magical door in sight…but when I saw Luke, Resus and Cleo I squealed with delight. “Luke! Resus! Cleo!” I cried, “You’re alive!” When they woke up, I gave them endless hugs and kisses. “It was just a dream, you’re alive!” “Who says we are dead to you?” asked Resus, “I think we died in our dreams, but we’re alive in real life.” “For real life.” I repeated. Suddenly, Luke’s parents entered the room. “What’s all the noise?” asked Luke’s dad. “We heard you all screaming and yelling.” said Luke’s mum. “You’re alive too!” I shouted, “Oh boy, must I admit that these essays were foolish for us, not for Dr Skulley to read…”

Dr Skulley ripped up the pages of Luke’s essay. “There, that should get rid of those nightmares about death and destruction. And by the way, I’m not dead yet.” Luke sighed, and returned to his chair to continue his lessons with Resus and Cleo by his side. He knew that he'd never trust another Disney+ property ever again.