It's a long story, Marv. You see, aspiring monkey athletes like me are born with bendy limbs that can allow us to walk immediately after we are born. We can even duck, weave, bob and dive to get anything we fancy, such as a banana cookie.
When I reached the age of 5, I went to BananaCream Athletic School. It's for those who are born with bendy limbs and have loads of talent in their hearts. It's where you learn athletic monkey stuff like, er, going through a hard, tough obstacle course. You learn to swing and climb and run and jump and do all the cool athletic stuff. Oh wait, it isn't tough at all - it's absolutely fun! Yet we still had to write and practice our ABCs and 123s and such and such.
When I reached 13, I graduated because there is a law where I come from stating that monkey teens aren't allowed to attend school due to gross habits - the signs of monkey puberty where I come from may gross you out forever, and still will if you continue to read it:
- Shaggier, tangled fur
- Super stinky underarms
- Sore bottoms which lead to scratching
- Shedding old fur sometimes
- Snot dribbling down our faces
Told ya. Look in the mirror. Go on, look. Look how grossed out you are! Luckily, girl monkeys don't get puberty, so they are calm through their teenage years. I however managed to get through my puberty, and that's why I came to Loved Before, because my family thought puberty lead to wild behaviour.
And now, look at me! A good natured grown up athlete. No mess, no fuss.
Except for the occasional banana porridge mess in the kitchen.
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