No, no, please! Don't drop the bomb, don't drop the bomb, DON'T DROP THE BOMB!
Furaha! Furaha, wake up! You've been having one of those nightmares about that elderly couple caught in a nuclear blast again, haven't you?
No, about a few days ago Sybil partnered you and me up with Pikachu and Mew. That was from when our family was extended, but now it still happens when my family is small, but there are other members scattered round the world. Pikachu, you and me were sent on a mission to stop an evil villain from launching a nuclear bomb on the UK.
%*$^ temporary war agents. They should know better than not to touch nuclear weapons.
You're right, Orko, nuclear war is wrong, but Raymond Briggs made that book, and pow, the world was saved. All we have to do now is meditate and think about you, me, my mama and my papa relaxing in a lavender meadow in a soft, comfortable hammock on a clear Spring evening, with you gently playing with a butterfly and then placing a lavender plant behind one of your pointy ears.
Aaaaaaah. Just the kind of thought I wanted.
Wait - Orko, I just thought of something.
What is it, Furaha?
Well, all those times I wanted to get my face painted, I was rejected because my face was too furry, plus I would be difficult to recognise because the light orange covering up my yellow furry face would expose it.
Fear no more, Furaha, I've got something that can help you be accepted.
(Orko magically pulls out a face paint kit from inside his sleeve)
Yay, Orko!
Now, which one is the right colour? Hmmmmmm....ah! There it is! Light orange! And black for the stripes, and pink for-
Use red!
Oh, okay, red for the nose.
Tigers always have red noses. It's a well known fact.
(So Orko paints Furaha's face to look like a tiger...)
Minutes later...
There! What do you think?
Wow! I look fierce, chique, sexy...
What about your roar? Aren't you going to show the blog users what you're made of?
Okay. Ahe-he-hem.
RRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAA
Alright, okay! Wow, that was awesome!
Awesome pawsome!
(Both laugh)
Wait - what about me? I want to get my face painted too.
But your face is exposed, Orko. Tell you what - I could use your face paint to paint your arms, hands and ears green and purple, and then you can become a peacock. How would you like that?
Oh yes please!
(So Furaha paints Orko's hands, arms and ears to look like he's a peacock)
Well, what do you think?
Wow! I look so beautiful! Not like any transgender people who are reading this blog.
Orko! Don't be offensive!
Sorry.
I suppose we do look a lot different than what we're supposed to.
Why is it that in so many picture books, especially Winnie The Pooh, characters use the same word many times?
Because children have feeble minds, Orko, they're used to things being shown again and again. Sybil has had a horrible afternoon yesterday, what with a noisy family and-
*STATIC*
When Sybil looked out into the garden, she knew the loud people weren't there after all!
*STATIC*
WHAT WAS THAT?!
I don't know, some random channel flip or something.
Yeah, probably just someone changing the channel. Hey you out there! If you want to change the channel, try to stay focused on the present day for a change, right, mate?
"You bet I will, dude!"
Seriously, those channel changing guys who are offscreen are rubbish. Remember when your old self appeared on Robot Chicken?
Yep, ho boy, I could almost remember my stop motion self changing from an innocent little wizard to a strong man who beat the Lord Scar's kingdom out of (lion roar to censor Skeletor's name). Then there was the time my '80s self met Snarf from the Thundercats. Imagine if I, my 2002 self, and the 2011 Snarf met.
I guess you can't both be different after all. Anyway, did you hear the frog chorus this morning? They've been cheering on about Moonie Moo, a cow celebrity who is currently under development at Factory Create.
Moonie Moo? Haven't heard of her.
Oh yes you will, listen to these frogs, they're the frogs Sybil was obsessed with (lion's roar to censor out the word 'yesterday'). Listen!
"Moo..."
"Nie..."
"Moo."
"Moo.."
"Nie..."
"Moo."
And I just discovered the website for Moonie Moo. She's going to become so famous, she'll make knickers drop around the globe. Hey, speaking of which, while you're at it, why don't you check out her developing website?
Ooh, she makes cheese with her own milk? Furaha, imagine how disgusting it would be if humans had to make cheese using their own milk.
Eeeewww, I wouldn't imagine that.
I've never seen a cow on Eternia, but I have thanks to you.
And you must learn, Orko, that cows produce milk and cheese for human consumption. We must let all the cows know that going vegan is a second option, and that milk and cheese should be shared with everyone.
You're right, Furaha, sharing is important.
And you know where else cheese goes?
Where?
Pizza of course, Sybil's going out with her support worker to get some delicious pizza!
Oh boy, pizza! I haven't had pizza in Eternia, just stuff like meat and organic food. No wonder *whispers* He Man *normal voice* and his friends stay strong and healthy. I took a peek into Sybil's He Man Mad Libs and discovered you need to eat bacon sandwiches to become as strong and healthy as the old bully brute. She also wrote down that I had smooth skin! What was the deal in that?
It was only her thoughts and opinions, Orko, but I wouldn't worry about your skin. It's so light and smooth it could outmatch a hippo's. Roll up your sleeve, please.
(Orko rolls up his sleeve. Furaha begins to nuzzle his arm, purring. Orko begins giggling, feeling ticklish)
No, no Furaha, sto-ho-hop! It tickles!
That's what I think of such soft skin as your's, Orko. Eh - oh no!
What is it?
Our face paint! It smudged together! Now I have your body paint on my face, and my face paint on your skin! I look ridiculous!
Me too!
Wait - that means something more. Being forced to wear messed up make up is such a lot of fun, it'll make quite a lot of sense wearing it.
Make some sense? Furaha, you know that I have the DNA of a tiger....
...and I have the DNA of a peacock!
WE'RE WILD BEASTS! RRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
We're off to cause a little mischief now, but don't worry, we'll keep you updated throughout the day!
Well, it looks like Sybil has finally had her big scream and cry at last.
That's right, Furaha, earlier ago she had an almighty screaming fit because she couldn't go out for pizza.
Imagine that, eh? Crying over a stupid little thing like a pizza!
(Both laugh)
But don't worry, Sybil will be back with her teeth sinking into pizza tomorrow!
BOTH: Hooray!
I'm so happy for Sybil now, aren't you, Orko?
I sure am. She once told us that nature might make us forget about pizza until tomorrow.
Sure, and if anyone asks, there are lines down my eyes where the face paint is because I've been crying too. Luckily, Orko here comforted me and said that it's okay to have a good cry and scream whenever something doesn't get your way all the time. He even gave me a hug!
Aaaawww...
And it gives me great pleasure to realise that it was THOSE PESKY GRANDCHILDREN THAT HAVE BEEN RUINING SYBIL'S AFTERNOON YESTERDAY!
We'll burn their house down!
You bet we will, Orko!
Got your fire powers ready?
Ready. Let's go!
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Er....unfortunately we can't.
Why not?
Because they might stay with their grandparents forever, and then imagine the amount of noise it might make.
Yeah. Let's leave it for now.
Aaaaaaaaaah. This is the life.
Hey, Furaha, what are you doing sitting in a rocking chair and reading a lion magazine?
Don't you see, Orko? There are no screaming kids or sports days around here anywhere, so we're having peace at last.
Good. So, how are we going to spend this time of peace?
It happens every day except yesterday, Orko, this is why Sybil has told me she prefers to sit down with a mug of milk and somehow, a Bluey magazine.
Hey, I know her! So does Sybil know Bluey well?
Yes. I overheard a conversation with her. Sybil had told Bluey that she was going to read her Five Minutes Peace as a bedtime story if she gets to have an easeful day. Yes, she did have the chance.
Er...
And the lion magazine I'm reading isn't a lion magazine at all. Okay, maybe it is. But it contains a shortened version of Five Minutes Peace inside.
Oh! You hiding a magazine from me turned out to be a Friends magazine!
Why do they always have Peppa Pig and Ben & Holly as workbooks? And Paw Patrol too.
Not to worry, Furaha, at least this peaceful time is spent...
...together.
(The two hug softly)
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