“Well, here we have it, ladies and gentlemen,” bubbled the radio announcer, “the moment you’ve been waiting for, the winner of our Ultimate Birthday List competition!” Mum and I braced ourselves as we gathered round the radio, hoping that I would win. I never won any competitions at school, the only person who wins every competition was [Character X], who excels in every test and bullies me for being a lowest-ranking student in school. My mum tells me to never believe in [Character X] and his scornful bullying, because I’m numero uno and I’d better let everyone in my school believe it. By numero uno, I meant rise up to the top and make all the teachers proud.
“And now, we present who came first place in our competition,” the announcer said in a tone that meant he was about to brace himself for what he was about to say. “The winner of our competition, the one with the biggest, out-of-this-world, most inspiring list of all, is…” A drum roll rattled the radio speakers and my teeth chattered and my mum held her breath. Then, the announcer excitedly yelled: “[Character A]!” The sounds of party squeakers blasted out of the radio as I started jumping up and down, screaming with excitement. My mum was also excited and hugged me tight playfully. “I can’t believe you won!” she exclaimed repeatedly as I wept excited tears. Normally, I’m not used to loud party noises like this, but now it was ringing in my ears. “Congratulations to [Character A],” the announcer said calmly. “We hope you enjoy accomplishing your birthday list!” My mum’s delighted words went on: “I can’t believe you won! I can’t believe you won! I can’t believe you won!”
Then I woke up and it was morning. I looked all around my bedroom. Sure, I had everything around me - my desk with a computer which I use to type up my stories, My Little Pony posters all along the wall, along with stickers from Sparkle World magazine, and unicorn slippers right by my bed. I knew it was going to be another typical boring average birthday - a small cake, simple present opening, sitting in front of the TV - just the average birthday routine of every kid going through the times we’re in. Then I decided to ask the smart device near my bed to show me calendar events. “Showing your calendar events,” beeped the smart device as my calendar events came up. Yeah, sure, my birthday was there…but wait, what’s this? It can’t be. It…it’s not a dream. Not, it’s not…yes, it was! Right there, on my smart device screen, there were the words ‘Birthday Competition Trip’. I thought I was seeing things. My jaw dropped onto my bed like a 60-ton anvil. I wasn’t seeing things. Everything, and I mean everything, was real. Real as Father Christmas on Christmas Eve. Real as a unicorn in the local stable. Real as a specially decorated Ritz birthday cake. I had won the Ultimate Birthday List radio competition! Well, that was a few days ago, but today was my birthday, obviously. Earlier, I had written a list to enter into the competition, with ten things like the promo suggested. I had autism, so entering that competition meant it wasn’t about the winning that is important, it was the taking part - and take part I did!
I was lucky enough to get my list submitted, and that dream was all based on true events. I actually won a few days ago! Can you believe it? Yeah, sure you must. Here’s what I submitted on my list:
Visit Factory Create & Get Permissions to Make Mini Films Based On My Fantasies Of My Favourite Shows, Plus Contact (I always wanted to do that since Scream Street, Clangers, Strange Hill High and Norman Picklestripes are my favourite shows)
Visit Mackinnon & Saunders
Go To Drusilla’s Park
Visit Sky Kids & See How My Favourite Shows, Beep & Mort and Norman Picklestripes, Are Broadcast (Beep & Mort is another of my favourite shows)
Go On A Shopping Spree At Bluewater
Visit Ragdoll Productions
Visit CBBC/CBeebies
Visit Walker Books
Go To The Ritz Hotel For Afternoon Tea
Have my bedroom made over into a writing studio/cosy, quiet place where I can continue with my writing
You see, I am a fanfiction writer, always putting my stories about Scream Street, Bluey, Beep & Mort and Norman Picklestripes up onto my blog. I used to love Clangers, but not anymore. Since Moon & Me replaced Abney & Teal, and all those noisy shows took over the bedtime slot, I think CBeebies has matured and aimed towards parents instead of younger kids. I can tell that Bluey, one of its latest shows on there, has issues aimed at an adult audience, such as baby development and infertility, but I prefer watching the show on Disney+ than on CBeebies, because this show makes the channel really grown up than what it used to be. I’m glad I got the show on Disney+, because I can watch any episode any time I want. Plus, I wanted to make my bedroom a calmer, quieter place because Mum watches noisy reality shows downstairs - and they always give me a sensory overload when I’m downstairs and Mum’s watching The Real Housewives or something like that.
But today wasn’t one of those days. It was a day of my birthday holiday, provided to me by my local radio station. Anyone would die to get their birthday list come true, but to me, it was a fantasy come alive. I knew it from the moment Mum walked in.
“Happy birthday, [Character A]! Oh, how you’ve grown, you must be 13 now.”
“I am 13,” I said, hoping that Mum would know my age. I continued, “Are we going by plane or by car?”
“Because of your condition, the radio station suggested we go by car, because you’re terrified of flying on a plane.” said Mum.
“Why’s that?” I asked, puzzled.
“Because every time we fly to your uncle’s house in Sydney, you always whine that we’re going to crash! I wonder which cartoons you get this phrase from.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. Going by car was a major turning point for me. It was like a big birthday road trip! Well, speaking of which, I got the phrase, “We’re going to crash!” from Kipper, my favourite cartoon from when I was 4, and Percy’s Bumpy Ride, a book I used to read with my grandad. Grandad loves the Percy The Park Keeper books. He’s read them all to me when I was a toddler.
The suitcases were all packed with everything we needed:
Clean clothes
Pyjamas
Toothbrushes
Toothpaste
Mini Bottles Of Body Wash
Polaroid Camera (for taking pictures)
CDs of Putumayo songs
Wow, that must be a lot to pack, but we didn’t pack much. Usually, on my birthday, I’d have a birthday breakfast of bunny pancakes. The body, head, ears and feet were made with real pancakes, but the tail was made out of whipped cream and chocolate chips provided what’s inbetween the bunny’s toes. Not this time. We were heading off to Factory Create - the first stop on my birthday road trip.
I helped Mum pack everything into the car, including my folder full of Scream Street/Bluey crossover stories, brushed my teeth, had a quick trip to the loo and then hopped into the front seat beside Mum. I had my Brazilian Cafe CD in the car, so we listened to rumba and salsa music as we headed off out into the open road.
“We might be hungry on our trip, so I’ve written a list of your favourite foods - sausage rolls, pork cocktail sausages, chicken bites, chocolate chip cookies, Coke Zero, Fanta Zero, we’ll get them all.”
I clapped my hands with excitement. How wonderful it would be to tuck into a car banquet on the way to our destination.
We stopped off at ASDA, where Mum let me stay in the car while she got the shopping - or, my Birthday Car Banquet, or BCB as I’d like to call it. While I was waiting, I did some writing in my diary. And this is all I’ve written so far. Everything that is in the last few pages, that you’ve been reading so far. My diary was pink and sparkly, with a picture of a beautiful white unicorn with silky rainbow hair on it. I’d like to call the unicorn on the front of my diary, ‘Rainbow’ because of the colour of her hair. I’d like to write about how Rainbow skips through endless daffodil fields searching for safer ways to keep the environment clean, because she’s an environmentally friendly unicorn who keeps the earth clean. I also have my ear defenders in the car too, because you never know when there might be loud noises around. My ear defenders are coloured pink, but I still hear what Mum is saying to me. The radio station recommended that since I was autistic, I would carry my ear defenders just in case.
I was never allowed to go into supermarkets because there was too much screaming from the kids visiting. Really, they should be banned by an autism charity for their endless noise. The last time I went there, there was a toddler throwing a tantrum. At once I lost it and yelled out that there was a wildebeest stampede coming into the shop, and Mum had to drag me out crying and screaming due to an autism meltdown. That was the main reason I couldn’t go into supermarkets anymore, so I was happy just sitting in the car and writing all this for you to read. And you’re reading it right now! At least Mum wasn’t shoplifting, she just paid and took me out quick as a flash.
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