Digging Up The Evidence

Spy Mission Log:

You cannot believe what happened to me today! Digger, Rusty’s older brother, just visited me and my mummy, Sherlock Penelope, to enquire that someone had been beaten to death while admiring paintings in a museum! My god, the things these people in our village do just to get our attention. Lady Penelope went to our favourite hotel, the Chateau Royale, to see the head of my training sessions, Jeff Tracy, who told us that someone by the name of Rocco has been making money by beating people in the audience up during his boxing matches.

Of course, boxing matches are a part of our training here in S.P.Y ‘Quarters. We are taught to be so tough and strong an enemy won’t stand a chance. Our friend Polly Priscole came and asked what she thought of such a violent activity. I thought it GREAT! My mummy? Not so much.

Later, while I was watching mummy apply her makeup, Princess Jasmine arrived and told us about the fate of Toon Disney in the UK. She told us she and the other Disney cartoon characters had to move somewhere nicer because of the channel shutting down, and I drank my glass of milk patiently while I listened to Jasmine talk to mummy about this whole Toon Disney fiasco.

Then, in a matter of circumstances, Jasmine got angry and threw the table over! What a naughty princess, she almost killed me! Then she swore she wouldn’t talk trash about Toon Disney, so Penelope accepted and told her not to screw it all up.

Later that night, Parker drove me and mummy to the train station, where Jasmine was heading. This called for some expert spy skills, so I applied sticky super glue to my hands and began to climb the walls and ceiling like a spider, using my Supersonic Sight Goggles to look out for where she is going. Sherlock Penelope and I followed, and soon we were in a huge bar with a band playing and a boxing ring. As Penelope and I ordered a few martinis, Jasmine came up on the stage, told the band to stop playing their music, and announced to everyone that Disney XD is rubbish! What a negative princess!

Immediately, Penelope told me to leave the room while she reasoned with Jasmine. While I was in the hallway, I discovered pictures of Rocco, star of the Netflix film Fixed, and all the trophies he won because of his nylon and varicose vein-smelling victories. His catchphrase? “Victory is MINE!”

The next morning, mummy and I stopped for coffee and discussed what we’re going to do to stop Jasmine from talking trash about Toon Disney UK. However, Lady Penelope was zoned out and engrossed in a fantasy of frolicking around in a world full of rainbows and unicorns to even noticed Superintendent Plod came in. He sternly reasoned with mummy, telling her he’ll kill Jasmine if she dares turn up in his office again.

So quickly, we took Jasmine’s fancy blue vintage car to the other town, unaware that Superintendent Plod was following us. Then, he took out a gun and shot Jasmine in the arm! Penelope yelled for me to “DO SOMETHING!” so, I quickly got out my shotgun and aimed multiple bullets at Superintendent Plod’s police car, screaming like a MANIAC!

Unfortunately, I can’t tell you any more. Mummy’s calling me for dinner, so I’d best end this entry here. Toodle-oo!