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Thursday, 28 December 2023

Which Of These Anime Girls Is The Biggest Drama Queen Ever?

Vote here:

Cradled In The Leaves

With the help of his friends Pikachu and Treeko, Orko decides to comfort baby Furaha to sleep in the jungle, cuddled up on a large bed of leaves.

The Roof Room

Furaha and Orko live with their friends Pikachu, Treeko, Mudkip, Torchic, Yugi and Splinter in a wide open room with no doors and windows that powers GMTV's Up On The Roof.

Sunshine

Furaha and Orko play together in a sunlit meadow and on a beautiful, empty beach, sharing in the joys of a golden, wonderful day outside together.

Cuddles & Tickles

All day, Furaha and Orko have been building a nest in their bedroom, next to their bed, on the bedroom floor. Their bedroom was very big, so there was just enough room to make a comfy nest big enough for both of them. They had gathered all the pillows, duvets, blankets and cushions they could find and made it into a circle around the floor, and placed the blankets in the middle. They placed Kiburi and Ua’s duvet in the middle of the nest, and placed their duvet on top of it. Finally, they had made a snug little nest - perfect for them both.


Furaha and Orko snuggled into their nest next to each other and looked up at the ceiling, pretending it was a vast blue sky. They decided for a while to pretend they were cloudgazing. “Hey, Orko, what do you think that cloud looks like?” asked Furaha, pointing to an imaginary cloud. “Hmmmm….I think that cloud looks like…Pupcake as a policeman.” Furaha’s imagination went to work: there was Pupcake on a busy London street as a bobby doggy on the beat, chasing the robber goblins Sly and Gobbo for stealing all the ice cream from the royal kitchen at Buckingham Palace. He also had a truncheon in the shape of a bone.


Furaha was too busy laughing at that thought to hear Orko say what his next cloud looked like. “I know what this one looks like,” he said, “This one looks like a flower. No, a whole bunch of flowers!” Orko could just feel a shower of flowers falling around him and Furaha, as they tried to catch them in their paws and hands. “Orko, I’m gonna throw some flowers at you!” laughed Furaha. “NO!” screamed Orko, and Furaha pretended to throw flowers at Orko, who squealed and fell over onto his back in the nest. Furaha crawled onto the nest and began tickling Orko, who laughed so loud and cackled like a raven with a funny bone. “Who’s laughing now, eh?” squeaked Furaha as she blew a raspberry on Orko’s stomach, resulting in his cloak getting all wet with lion slobber. “Eeew, EEEWWW!” cackled Orko, “You’re making my cloak all smelly and wet!” “Then you shouldn’t have thought up those flowers then!” Orko was laughing so hard he accidentally threw magic sparks out of his fingers, and turned the flower vase on Furaha’s table into a rabbit. At once, Orko’s laughter died down as Furaha was adored by what she saw.


“Aaaaaawwww, Orko…” she sighed as she trotted up towards the fluffy white lapine creature. “Hello, you!” The rabbit leapt into Furaha’s arms at once, twitching its nose and wiggling its long ears. Furaha was giggling loudly. “Now it’s tickling me!” “Now who’s laughing?” said Orko sarcastically. He floated up towards the rabbit and magicked up a bright orange carrot. The rabbit ate it bit by bit. “He’s so adorable. I wish we could keep this lapine fellow.” sighed Furaha. “Well, we can. We can turn it into a toy!” suggested Orko. He cracked his knuckles and said this magic rhyme:


“He’s a rabbit, a good boy,

Make him into a soft little toy!”


At once, the real rabbit turned into a soft toy rabbit. Furaha thought that was amazing! “Let’s take it into our nest with us. It must need a home after all his time standing there. Its time as a vase of flowers must’ve worn his little lapine legs out.” So Furaha and her brother took the rabbit into the nest with them. They told the rabbit about all their adventures, and wished he could come and join them - but since he wasn’t involved, the poor little fellow had to stay in their nest instead.


Suddenly, Rocky, their pet dog, burst in and saw the soft toy rabbit. Instead of grab it and run away, he understood why the rabbit was once a vase of flowers, and sat by it adoringly. He even licked it. “Eeeuuurgh,” laughed Furaha as the rabbit was covered in dog slobber. She hugged Rocky and said, “You’re such a loyal dog. You may nubble my nose most of the time, and you may rip up dad’s slippers, but you’re lovable and loyal to say the least.” She turned to Orko. “As for you, Orko, I would like to say a big thank you for bringing this toy rabbit into my life. He needed a home - I never knew he was actually a vase after all. Rabbits and vases are precious loved ones that need care and attention after all.” “That’s okay,” said Orko, “My magic really comes in useful.” “Mmmmm, I know that,” sighed Furaha, and both of them hugged. Rocky leapt in between them and licked Furaha, then Orko. “Ah! Stop!” they cried, laughing loudly. Orko really liked it when people said they loved his magic, because back on Eternia, his magic proved useless, and was called this way by He Man and his other so called ‘friends’. But here on Earth, he was happy and content. His magic is adored by everyone, and he had people who will love him forever. After this whole playful romp, Furaha and Orko fell fast asleep, and Rocky did too. However, they didn’t notice two shadows coming into the room, for outside the window, the sun was setting….


When Furaha and Orko woke up that night, they were shocked to find out that Kiburi and Ua’s duvet had been placed back on the bed, and the rabbit toy was still with them. It had now turned to night time outside, and when Furaha and her brother crawled across the bed, they were delighted to see their mother and father sleeping soundly. “Mum? Dad? Are you awake?” whispered Furaha. Upon hearing their daughter’s voice, Kiburi and Ua woke up, and Ua switched on the bedside lamp. “Mum! Dad!” shouted Furaha. “Kiburi! Ua!” cried Orko, and the two leapt into their parents’ arms and hugged them softly, feeling the warm embrace of being together as a family.


“What just happened?” laughed Furaha. “We thought our duvet needed to be on our bed again, so we put it back, and when we went to sleep, we didn’t know you were there!” sighed Ua in relief. “That’s okay, Ua, we understand why…” But suddenly Furaha and Orko were yawning. “You sure look tired.” said Kiburi softly. “Why don’t you creep in with us?” asked Ua. “Thanks,” our two friends yawned, and comfortably snuggled in between their parents. Safe and warm as Ua switched off the light, the two drifted off with their parents into a soft, gentle, dreamless sleep.

Wednesday, 27 December 2023

Angel Muffins

“Furaha! Orko! You’ve got mail!” called Ua from downstairs. Furaha and Orko raced downstairs to see Ua holding a medium-sized pink envelope with their names written on the back - in Angel Cake’s writing. Furaha gently took it from her mother and opened it up. The heavenly scent of ice cream cakes wafted into her nose. Orko could smell it too. The letter read:


Dear Furaha and Orko,

How would you two like to head over to my place? We can bake blueberry muffins tomorrow. Custard and Pupcake are coming too, but please don’t let Pupcake near any of my baking equipment. Hope to see you tomorrow,

Love,

Angel Cake.


Furaha and Orko were bursting with excitement. “We’re going to bake muffins at Angel Cake’s house!” they cried at once. “Now don’t get too excited about it,” said Ua, “Because you have a job to do once you get there.” “What’s that?” asked Orko. “Your job is to keep Pupcake away from Angel’s baking equipment, because it can easily get knocked over.” “Oh.” Orko felt disappointed. “But I was looking forward to the muffin part.” “You can hide under the table with Pupcake whilst we do all the muffin business,” suggested Furaha. Orko thought that was a great idea.


Meanwhile, at Strawberry Shortcake’s strawberry-shaped house, Custard and Pupcake were also excited over going to Angel Cake’s house for a baking session. But then, Pupcake’s face fell. He wasn’t supposed to touch the baking equipment, was he, because he always knocked everything over. “Don’t worry, Pupcake, you’ll have Orko to protect you.” said Strawberry Shortcake, “Because time and time again, you’ll find yourself useful for once in your life.” “I was going to say that,” said Custard sarcastically. “Let the master speak first,” scolded Strawberry. Custard harumphed as she slumped down in her basket. Hopefully tomorrow will be better, she thought.


And it was. Furaha, Orko, Custard and Pupcake all made their way to Angel Cake’s big, bright cake shaped house on a bright and sunny day. “Isn’t it exciting?” squealed Custard, “Angel Cake - allowing us to bake muffins!” “Oh boy, yes,” said Furaha, “And think of all the baking equipment she keeps everywhere!” Orko was carrying Pupcake in his arms. Pupcake was trying to wiggle free, but Orko was trying to keep hold of him. “Stay still!” he cried multiple times while wrestling with the fussy pup.


At last they reached Angel Cake’s pink front door. Furaha knocked three times, and who should answer it but… “Angel Cake!” our three friends cried. Pupcake barked. “Oh it’s so nice to see you - and it’s just the right kind of weather to bake cakes. Blueberry muffins, for instance. Come on in!”


So everyone stepped into Angel Cake’s squeaky clean kitchen and saw that she had all the ingredients ready - all purpose flour, baking powder, salt, unsalted butter, granulated sugar, eggs, vanilla and almond extract milk, turbinado sugar, and best of all - the blueberries. Furaha, Orko and Custard had stars in their eyes just seeing the basketful of blueberries on the table! Pupcake was still wiggling like a wiggling thing in Orko’s arms. “STAY STILL!” he shouted. Angel Cake tutted. “I don’t think it’s going to be easy sailing with Pupcake ruining the whole recipe. Orko, why don’t you take him into my living room? That’ll calm him down.” “Right away!” said Orko, and he lead Pupcake out of the room.


Angel Cake advised Furaha and Custard that they need to wash their paws and wear baking aprons before they start. Furaha and Custard loved making frothy lather from all the bubbles caused by Angel’s raspberry-scented washing up liquid! Then, the baking began. Angel Cake advised that first they need to combine the flour, baking powder and salt in a medium bowl. They all worked together to make a snow like mixture, but suddenly, Custard felt an itch in her nose. She was going to sneeze! “Aaa…aaa…aaa…” “Sneeze into your arm!” cried Angel Cake. So she did. “AaaaTCHOO!” Everyone laughed. Custard’s sneezing was very funny!


Meanwhile in Angel Cake’s living room, Orko let Pupcake run around the fleecy dark blue carpet. “There. Much better.” he said, “After all, who would want to leave Pupcake alone in the kitchen while he messes everything up?”

My Gift Card Grabem's!

Here they are - the first of my gift card grabs!
This is my new Mickey Mouse soft toy - isn't he the cutest? And this is Robbie The Reindeer, on DVD of course, which I'm watching right now. I'm already starting to like Vixen - she's so hot! In any moment of my coming days, Vixen, or Vixy as I'd like to call her, will get a starring role in my stories!
"YEEE-HAAAA!"
It's Stitch! And he's brought the next lot of gifts for us, like his amazing shower gel and loofah.
"Foofah?"
Loofah, Stitch. It's for scratching your back. I also got a few notebooks, a calendar and The Boy Whose Wishes Came True. My favourite part would be.....wait for it...the XBox and pizza! But luckily, Libby takes me out for pizza and I have a Nintendo Switch so...problem sorted

Da-da-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Claude Goes To The Seaside

Here it is: my latest in designer underwear: Claude's snazzy new beach pants! Now don't laugh, these fun new pants are nothing no one has worn before. Some of them will make Claude look like a girl, some will be just fun for him since he enjoys all the pleasures of every day life.

First is my anti-CBBC pants. Claude wears them as he's protesting outside the CBBC Manchester building, not letting CBBC go to the American state by airing foreign cartoons. Soon, CBBC will air their British shows with dubbed over American accents, loud laugh tracks and new faster paces. Can't we just let CBBC remain British and not go downhill like they did in 2019, when they started airing Almost Never? Shut up.

Next, there's my famous flowery design. Now Claude will look like a fat lady tending to her garden in big flowery bloomers, and everyone will see him as such a sight!

My Edd The Duck pants prove so '90s, they can send anyone right back to when CBBC was Children's BBC. When they aired stuff like Pingu, Noddy and Fireman Sam, not some lame space Shake It Up ripoff. When Claude wears these pants, everyone will know how retro he is, how stylish, how handsome, how artistic.

Aaarrrrgh! Skull pants bring the high seas to Claude, so he can wear only them when he's playing pirates with the other kids on the beach. You should read Pirates Love Underpants for inspiration. The skull also helps cover his...er...uh oh, moving on.

The party is on with my next invention, party pants. With balloons and party hats on the front and backs of this design, there really will be a party going on in Claude's private area! Perfect for when he's attending a beach party or a Hawaiian luau.

Finally, there's Dogmation pants. 

Dog + Dalmatian = Dogmation pants.

This set of pants features dragons on one side and dalmatians 0n the other, so Claude can let all the beachgoers know that he's a descendent of Pongo...

Am I right? Or...er...am I...er....wrong?

Ah whatever, they're still undies.

Sir Bobblysocks' Long Lie Down

Hello, everyone, it's me, Claude. My good friend Doggo has just woken up from a nap after about four hours from morning to afternoon, but my sidekick Sir Bobblysock is yawning. It's time for one of his long lie-ins. Sure, he's got cucumber slices for his eyes (even though he doesn't have any, 'cause he's a sock) and his red cardigan, but there are a few things missing. Here are six more things needed to complete a luxuriously socky lie in...

A Packet Of Cookies
Sir Bobblysock always likes a plateful of cookies to chow down on while he has his long lie down. He mostly like chocolate biscuits, but if you give him a plate of chocolate cookies, he's totally relaxed. Dip them in hot chocolate, and bob's your uncle, he has a lie-down snack. But it wouldn't be complete on hot days without...

An ice cold drink
There's no denying that Sir Bobblysock and I love a cool, refreshing glass of Mr and Mrs Shinyshoes' homemade orange juice. You might be thinking, "DOGS CAN'T HAVE-"
"SSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
Oh, er, sorry, I mean, "Dogs can't have orange juice." Well, I am a fictional dog and I can do whatever I want. I like to buy orange juice from the market should all the homemade stuff run out or get sold to a hungry cow, I'll leave Bobblysock lying and relaxing while I'm off to the shops. Often, I'll let my friend Rex The Runt take care of him while I'm out - he's chilled out. His friends Bad Bob, Wendy and Vince all have difficulties, you know: Bad Bob is reckless and always carries a gun, Wendy is a sarky girl and is spouting rubbish yet womanly stuff out of her lips and Vince's screaming will just make it worse. Okay, Doggo, all your's! *throws Vince to me*

A Lullaby CD
I always get out the CD player, take one of my favourite soothing lullaby CDs and let Bobblysocks listen to the beautiful music and sounds while he lies down, chows down on his cookies and drinks his juice. CDs from Fisher Price and Disney are quite good, and I have to admit, both the lullaby cover of 'The House At Pooh Corner' and Nick Lachey's 'Once Upon A Time' made me cry a little bit, but they're still very soothing.

A Bubble Machine
Sometimes I hear the neighbourhood kids blow bubbles outside in their gardens. They're so delighted with what they do, although their loud shrill screaming disrupts Sir Bobblysocks' nap. Sometimes, when the kids are at school, Sir Bobblysocks likes to lie down while I turn on the bubble machine and lots of round poppley things float around him. It even floats around the whole town! Bubbles can be very soothing, especially to a little sock like Bobbly.

A Blanket
You might've seen this coming, I reckon. My own blanket is soft, fuzzy and red, and I sleep under it to help Mr and Mrs Shinyshoes know that I'm just a regular, average, normal dog. Nothing special here, heh-heh! But Sir Bobblysock keeps a whole host of blankets - some are in bright colours, and some are branded with characters like Masters Of The Universe, My Little Pony and Spot. He's such a lucky sock, and I do believe he has great taste - and he doesn't even have a tongue!

And finally,
A Unicorn Toy
I always like to carry my own toys to bed and tuck them up like in the song 'Ten In The Bed'. Sir Bobblysock keeps a unicorn with him, like the one up above, to accompany him on his long naps. Doggo has a unicorn toy too, although Bobblysocks' unicorn toy is white with a blue horn and red hooves and wings. I guess you could call him a long, tubular Brony! (Don't tell him I said it though.)

Tuesday, 26 December 2023

Aardman's Darkside - The Pain Of Screen Cut Speed

Hi, Rex The Runt here to talk with you about something that parents are complaining about these days since Cocomelon first appeared on the internet - screen cut speed. You can use this Aardman DVD for a better understanding of how screen cut speed usually works, and through the animations you'd expect to find on this DVD, I'd guarantee that what you're about to read may change your perspective on how you view Moonbug's animations, OR your perspective on my arch-enemy Angry Kid may change depending on how you read this article.

Now, my show, A Town Called Panic and Big Jeff all have fast scene changes since all these shows were meant to have what they call a fast-paced tone. For my show, the scenes change every 10 seconds, not giving you any time to think about doing your homework or writing on your business papers or other stuff like that. No matter how many times you try to count on your fingers how many times the scenes change, there's just no doing the math, you see. A Town Called Panic comes from France and is made with toy animals injected with fuel rods, so its crude animation style and fast pace makes for plenty of fast scene changes, since its fast-paced tone was well agreed for airing on Nickelodeon since it was meant for kids and not for grown ups. Big Jeff may be sort of erotic with its full frontal nudity and bright hues of colour, but I assure you, there's lots of fast cuts in this one, because the episodes are really short. These days they're calling it, 'attention span'. Really? Is THIS why all adverts are fast moving these days?

Now, Angry Kid can make you concentrate, but some scenes can catch you off guard. Some of the shorts on the DVD are all shot in one continuous take. To get the attention further, these one-shot shorts show A.K sitting in the car or in the living room showing his sister magic or talking with his dad while on a car journey. There's no point in Aardman doing stuff which shows one continuous take, I mean, come on, how have Aardman been doing such things in the past?

Aardman really needs to learn what screen cut speed is. They've learnt from Darren Walsh when he commissioned his Angry Kid series to the company, because some of his shorts are all shot in one continuous take, like I said earlier. Rex The Runt is harmless, on one point, but I'd shove the other three shows and the shorts aside.

Rex The Runt rules, OK? Okay!

This just proves why Aardman's Darkside is too overstimulating for grownups. If you want to find out more about overstimulating TV, read this Reddit article and you'll know what I mean.

Lil' Biscuit

Orko was fast asleep in bed. He was having a nice, cosy nap after a long day of playing outside with his friends. He was having another dream. In this one, he was asleep on the soft, white fur of a giant bunny rabbit, which was of course fast asleep too.


Outside his dream, his toddler sister Furaha entered the room and leapt up onto the bed after a few struggling toddler-ish tries. She tried to settle onto the bed, cat-like, but found she was most uncomfortable. She stretched her paws out and began kneading the soft surface of the duvet, as most cats would do. Her claws were long and sharp and pointy, and they could dig into any comfy surface, especially duvets.


When Orko woke up, he was totally surprised to see Furaha kneading on the bed. He crawled over on all fours to see what was going on. “Hello, Furaha,” he said with a yawn, and then he was awed at what he saw. “Aaaaawww…Furaha. You’re making biscuits.” Furaha giggled at what Orko mentioned, then once she finished, Orko said, “What a lovely lot of biscuits you’ve got there. Did you make them yourself?” The young toddler cub nodded, even though they were just imaginary biscuits. “Let me see: 1, 2, 3, 4 biscuits! They’re about as big as dinner plates! Can I try them?” Furaha nodded again. “Okay, okay, let me try the first one.”


Orko pretended to eat the first imaginary biscuit. “Mmmmmmmm, this is so delicious. What’s the flavour?” “Coco-late!” babbled Furaha. “Oh, you’ve put in chocolate. You know, chocolate is my favourite flavour for a biscuit, especially when it has creamy filling. Ooh, wait, I can feel the creamy filling now! Mmmmm…ooh, so delicious.” Then Orko pretended to scarf it al down as toddler Furaha laughed in her cheeky way.


“Okay, okay, now let me try biscuit number 2.” Orko pretended to eat the second biscuit. “This one’s different. What’s the flavour?” “Milla,” babbled Furaha. “Vanilla, eh? And you thought shortbread was boring,” chomped Orko, pretending to eat the vanilla biscuit. “Mmmm, mmm, so delicious.” Next, he tried the third biscuit. “Wow, what tangy flavour!” he said. “Is this orange or-” “Baw-bewwy!” shouted Furaha, clapping her paws. “Yes,” corrected Orko, “Nothing can beat a strawberry biscuit. I see you’ve made it with the finest ingredients on the planet. Well, that settles it. While I’m here, I think I’ll have a cup of tea. No, wait, a strawberry milkshake!” Orko took out a pretend glass of frothy strawberry milkshake and shlurped it all down.


Furaha couldn’t help laughing. It was fun having a brother that turns any situation into a game. Finally, Orko tried the fourth biscuit. “Mmmmm, this flavour’s different. What have you made it with?” “Raberry!” smiled Furaha. “Raspberry. Ooh, that’s my favourite! I see you’re going to make more biscuits….or, can you teach me to knead?”


So that’s what Furaha did. She taught Orko how to knead the bed, even though she couldn’t speak yet. Orko tried and tried, but kept slipping and falling flat on his shadowed face. When he did try, he kneaded slowly…and then a little faster…and then really fast indeed!


“Gotcha!” Furaha screamed with laughter as Orko began tickling her soft, fluffy tummy. “Ooh, you’re so ticklish. Your tummy knows it!” Furaha then proceeded to tickle Orko back, and he cackled so much he fell over. The two then began to chase each other around the bedroom, and when Furaha leapt up onto the bed again, Orko grabbed her and began to gently knead on her tummy, causing her to scream in delight. “Now you’re a big lion-shaped biscuit too, Furaha. Do you mind if I eat you?” “NAAAAAAAAA!!” screamed Furaha, but Orko didn’t care. He pretended to eat Furaha, as if a parent were eating a toddler’s legs as if it were string beans or corn on the cob.


At that point, Ua came in and asked “What’s all the noise?” At once, the commotion stopped and Furaha began yawning. “Er…nothing,” said Orko, “I was just playing with Furaha.” “Well, you two keep the noise down then. Kiburi and I are having a quiet moment in the living room, and it’s time for Furaha’s nap anyway, so settle down, you two.” “I will, Ua!” said Orko as Ua exited the room.


Furaha yawned, and soon it caught onto Orko. “Let’s both rest. I think we’ve had enough of biscuit making for one day. Maybe the next day, when it’s sunny, we can go out onto the beach and do it.” So Orko settled back into bed, and Furaha snuggled into his chest as she shuffled under the duvet, and from this moment until dinner, the two were fast asleep, dreaming of sleeping on the soft, white fur of that huge, giant bunny rabbit together.

Too Many In Bed

Oh my god! There's too many in my bed! Settling down to sleep on a cold Winter's night, I discover Furaha and Orko want a bed for the night, so they creep in with me. But then many others respond to my call of sleep - Ginger Snap, Snarf, Rex The Runt, Wendy, Bad Bob and Vince! But too much proves to be a tiring night for me, and I ask Orko to make the bed a bit bigger for us all.

Dinner Time....

...and this is the video that always makes me hungry at dinner time!