Inside Tracy

Hi, I’m Tracy Beaker. Yeah, that Tracy Beaker. I used to live in the Dumping Ground, but now I’ve got an even more important job. I’m the boss of the emotions inside Sindy’s head. It’s a tough gig, but someone’s got to do it. Sindy's just a kid, like I was once, stuck in care and trying to make sense of it all. She’s got autism, which makes everything even more complicated.

Sindy’s a fighter, like me, and she’s got a lot of spunk, also like me. But life’s tough, and sometimes it’s hard to keep it all together. Lucky for her, she’s got me and a bunch of other emotions helping her out. There’s Louise, who tries to keep things calm and orderly. Justine Littlewood, who can be a right pain but is good for a bit of courage. Peter Ingham, the worrywart. Mike Milligan, the sensible one. Jenny, who’s all about nurturing. Elaine the Pain, the rule-follower. And Cam, who’s kind and loving. We’re quite the team, if I do say so myself.

Sindy’s life hasn’t been easy. She’s been shunted around from one care home to another, never staying long enough to put down roots. She’s in a new home now, and it’s not exactly a picnic. The other girls give her a hard time for liking boyish stuff. Can you believe that? Just because she likes video games and football instead of makeup and dolls, they think she’s weird. Well, they don’t know the first thing about being tough.

One day, Sindy’s playing her favourite video game with her best mate, Brandon. We’re all up in her head, cheering her on. I’m at the controls, of course, because this is her happy place. She’s winning, and we’re all buzzing with excitement. But then, Yasmin, this rude girl from the home, barges in. She starts teasing Sindy, calling her names, and snatches the console away.

“Give it back!” Sindy shouts, and I’m pushing all the buttons to keep her cool, but Yasmin’s really asking for it. She runs off with the console, and Sindy gives chase. Inside her head, we’re all scrambling to keep up. Justine’s yelling, “Get her! Don’t let her get away with it!” Peter’s panicking, “What if we get in trouble?” Louise is trying to keep everyone calm, but it’s no use.

The chase is on, and it reaches its peak when Yasmin drops the console in the toilet. That’s when Justine takes over. Sindy’s anger boils over, and she yells, “I can be a boy, yet I’m still a girl on the inside!” She gives Yasmin a hard shove, and Yasmin tumbles down a flight of stairs.

We all freeze. Inside Sindy’s head, it’s chaos. Mike’s shouting about consequences. Jenny’s worried about Yasmin. Elaine’s going on about rules and punishment. But I’m just staring at Justine, who looks a bit too pleased with herself.

The care worker sends Sindy to the quiet room. She’s all alone, and we’re left to face what we’ve done. Tracy Beaker, usually the one to take charge, now has to face the music. I argue with Justine, “She didn’t deserve that! Sure, she was mean, but pushing her down the stairs? What were you thinking?”

“Yasmin needed to be taught a lesson,” Justine snaps back.

Mike tries to mediate, but I’ve had enough. I press a button, and a cage drops down on Justine. She’s locked up, and I can’t help but do a crazy dance of wild joy. Finally, some peace.

As night falls, Sindy sits alone in the quiet room. She’s thinking about how she’ll never be adopted, how she’ll be stuck in the care home forever. It breaks my heart. I’ve always been the tough one, but seeing Sindy like this, I realise I’ve got to do better. We’ve got to do better.

“I’m sorry, Sindy,” I whisper, though she can’t hear me. “We’ll make it right. I promise.”

Tomorrow’s another day, and the moment she comes out of the quiet room, we’ll help her redeem herself. I won’t let her down. Not now, not ever. Tracy Beaker never gives up, and neither will Sindy. We’ve got this.