- I set up a club dedicated to the heroes of the Anderverse
- Mitchell, Becky, Templeton, Luke, Resus, Cleo, Bluey and Bingo join in
Thursday, 3 April 2025
Umbrella Adventure
- Brogan and baby Slomo take a walk in the park
- Baby Slomo finds an umbrella and goes on an adventure with it.
Anderson On Film
- The most awesome theatrical event in the Southend Film Festival!
- Click the links below to read more.
Smelly Dad
- Bluey and Bingo pretend their dad has farted
- Bandit tries to escape from the girls' pretend farts
Tea Time
- Crystal tries to get baby Bluey to eat her mushed bananas
- She tries a host of playful and creative ways to get her to eat her tea
Finger & Toes
- Orko counts baby Furaha's fingers and toes
- This evolves into a playful tickling game
Wednesday, 2 April 2025
Socks & Chucky's Family
This is Socks and Chucky's family! Socks is a good mother and makes up new games for her children to play, but still speaks broken English. Meanwhile, Chucky is a huge fan of sport and likes to watch cricket or rugby on TV. Timo, his eldest son, loves to lead the games and always thinks of himself as 'the best pup ever', while Jake and Jakeline may look different, but each of them has lots of plans to be a little sneaky: while Jake's plans are more sensible and straightforward, Jakeline's plans are just too surreal and boisterous.
Dobro/Thunderbirds Are Go Go Go Go Go Go!
Hi Dobro! How's it going?
Hi! Just fine! My parents just picked me up from school after a long, hard day of play.
What have you been playing today?
Well, since I'm dreaming of being a firefighter like my idol Fireman Sam, me and my friends have been playing at rescuing my friend Charlotte from the upper boughs of a tree in the forest. However, Charlotte was stuck and my teacher had to phone the fire brigade to get her down.
You
,
12:01
Good for her. She's the wisest teacher around. And I see you've been the parents of Chloe and Jack too,
You bet I am! Mum, dad and I are going shopping at the moment. I insisted on showing my art project about the ocean to everyone I passed by, and they all just stared at me with shock and disbelief. Unfortunately, Mum knew the person at the counter, who always loved to tell jokes and use puppets to entertain the little kids who come to the supermarket.
Of course! She's Abby, after Abby Cadabby.
Yeah, I heard her favourite programme was Sesame Street, so that's how she got a job seeing to the little kids at the supermarket.
You excited for Easter?
Yeah, you bet! I'm also excited for our annual Easter party, which we're holding on Easter weekend.
An Easter party! How exciting! What are you going to do at the party?
There's going to be a barbecue, a bouncy castle and a treasure hunt to find the elusive chocolate bilby. All my family will be attending.
Including your Uncle Frank, who once didn't know a thing about the Octopus game?
Of course he's coming, and so are all my aunts and uncles. Aunt Lulu is sure to give me one of her famous 'Easter Pressies' this year - I'm hoping it's the new Zappatron Hip Hop Electric Robot Dinosaur I've always wanted. However, it's a bit too expensive. My mum and dad are always telling me to buy cheaper stuff.
You
,
12:12
Yeah, I hear you, dude. I just heard from Teletubbies creator Anne Wood that kids in every UK playground are talking in American accents because Channel 4 and ITV don't have the guts to produce new kids' shows, and the BBC has lost their budget. As a result, they're airing American programmes which interfere with the British charm of shows like The Herbs, Postman Pat and even Fireman Sam.
You
,
12:15
No, not Fireman Sam! Anything but Fireman Sam!
Yes, anything including Fireman Sam.
Oh my god....whispers My mum and dad think it's wrong to say that phrase.
But you can only say it to me.
Hey, what's with that bandage on your head?
I had a raw itchy patch on my head and Marina cut it open to take out a red, itchy, blobby creature. But I'm okay and fully healed now.
I know her! She told me that she was very guilty of doing so, and that the police would come and arrest her. We learnt about it in school the other day. I was shocked to hear that mermaids who cut people open would be reported to the police.
That's not what I learned back in my school days. Urgh....I should've been homeschooled. I never was suited for school, it's the most awful and noisy place in the entire universe!
Well I'm suited for it.
I wish you never went to school!
Okay, okay, keep your hair on.
Well it's off, because of Marina cutting part of my head open to get the creature out of my brain.
She wouldn't do that! The police would go bananas if they heard it!
You
,
12:22
Now I have an itchy back. Great.
Oh! That reminds me. I've got the scissors....
No, no no no....
I'm going to cut you open! RAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
NO! STOP!
CHLOE: Dobro! Please stop teasing your friend. She already experienced enough pain as it is.
DOBRO: Sorry, Mum! (to S) Anyway, I'm sorry for what happened. I often tease my younger cousins like this sometimes, although Mum and Dad like to scold me for it.
You should let your mum and dad teach you how to play nicely with your younger relatives.
Well, it's become a habit. I'm always teasing my younger siblings, which means Mum and Dad have to ban me from seeing them for a few weeks every time I tease them.
That's horrible. I hate to see an energetic young boy like yourself being punished. I have an idea: whenever you feel you want to playfully tease your siblings, instead ask them to join in your firefighter games or join them for getting a snack from the kitchen. It's easy!
Wow! Why didn't I think of it before? I'll go and tell my Mum and Dad right away.
A few seconds later....
Mum and Dad think it's a great idea!
Wow, I'm glad to hear that.
You
,
12:28
Anyway, I've heard that you were very hungry earlier, after your nap. There's some Tiny Teddies and Cravendale in the kitchen.
Really? Come on, let's go get it.
Minutes later
Wow, for snacks, these are actually pretty delicious!
Mmmmm, they're pretty tasty and all, because that's why I love cookies.
I see you're eating the chocolate chip ones. I'm having the chocolate ones.
My favourite type of cookie is chocolate chip. My jaw drops open at the sight of a chocolate chip cookie baked by my mother. She's an excellent baker as a well as a marine biologist.
How on earth did she get that job? She's the most awesome mother in your region!
It was after the Octopus incident from when she was young. After Bluey went home, Mum told Uncle Frank that when she got older, she wanted to study sea creatures. And now, here she is. She has a job!
What happens when your mum is away studying sea creatures?
She's away for a long time, and that's why Dad always looks after us. He only knows how to make bacon and tomato sandwiches, and is goofy around us, but that's okay, he's great fun when it comes to playing games with me, especially my trademark firefighter game.
Like father, like son, that's what they say.
You
,
12:40
Sometimes my father likes to go fishing with me, and sometimes I am very impatient when it comes to fishing. Sometimes I even chew my leg. My dad tells me, 'Patience stops the chewing'. And I'm glad he told me that, because while we're waiting he likes to tell me what he got up to in his school days.
Then do the kids at school called you 'Chew Chew'?
Not all of them, no, but I think there's this mean bully at my school called Rasher. He's always picking on us younger kids and making noises corresponding to our horrible nicknames he gives us. He was the one who called me 'Chew Chew'. He even made some offensive train noises,
Did you tell your teacher about him?
Not exactly, no, I was too scared to tell her he called me 'Chew Chew'.
You should! You really should!
I can't. I'm just too scared.
Well, I heard from your mum that there's a counsellor at school. She can tell you about your problems with Rasher.
I'll tell you what: you tell your dad to phone the school counsellor.
What if Rasher hears this and knives me?
He wouldn't do that. In fact, knife crime isn't allowed in schools in Australia.
Thank goodness.
You
,
12:49
Now, take a few deep breaths with me. In.....and out. In.....and out. And one more: in....then out. There! That wasn't too bad, was it?
Nothing to it at all.
Your bedroom looks awesome! It's all red and themed around firemen and Fireman Sam!
Yeah, cool ain't it? My mum, dad and I decorated my room together.
Well, my room is painted pink and it has lots of pink things in it.
Cool!
I know, right, it's a bit girly for you, you might visit it one day.
Okay, if I can dig ballet skirts and unicorns and rainbows...
I laugh
No, but seriously, I know a friend who was once a Brony. He isn't cringe like what the internet says, he's actually nice and brings his ponies everywhere he goes, even to school. He never got teased by Rasher once. He thinks it's the early 2010's all over again! What's that smell?
Mum's cooking bacon or something. By the way, it's past lunch time, so I can't eat until dinner.
I always have bacon and eggs for breakfast. Dad calls it 'The Future Fireman's Fry Up'.
The Future Fireman's Fry Up....hmmmm, maybe I can have bacon for dinner tonight.
Dad will be so proud of you...even though you're not a fireman like I wanted to be when I'm older.
You
,
13:00
Anyway, about your Brony friend. What's his name?
Pedro.
Pedro? There's no one in Bluey called Pedro before! What's he like?
He's awesome! He always invites me to play at her house so I can use my model knights to play at fighting dragons with his ponies. He even lets me join his pony tea parties.
Wow! He's the most awesome kid in your school!
He's even fond of watching pony videos and reading fanfics on the internet - as long as they're not too inappropriate for me. His favourite story is My Little Dashie, because he cares for his ponies like that man did with Rainbow Dash in the story.
Does he love My Little Mane 6?
Yep!
Why?
Because not just Rainbow Dash but all her friends get adopted, and this single family befriends them.
I wish I could own the Mane 6 like they're pets.
Well I overheard Pedro's little sister Conquita stated she wants Twilight Sparkle as a pet.
Hang on a minute, I have to check my emails.
Well, the Gerry Anderson email to me stated that they don't make shows like his nowadays due to cheap and low budget stuff.
You
,
13:10
O, M, G. Did you say Thunderbirds?!
Yes.
I love Thunderbirds! Oh, and Thunderbirds Are Go.
My favourite characters in both series are Lady Penelope and Parker.
Well mine in the original series is Scott, and mine in Thunderbirds Are Go is Gordon, mainly due to his humor.
grumbles Gordon....that annoying prankster. His jokes are a little good, but he just wants to fall in love with Lady Penelope and I won't have him near me, because he bullies me!
Wow! What a coincidence! We have bullies at once!
Well, the sad truth is....erm....I once attended a secondary school named Willie De Ferrers. Everyone at school bullied me, said I had to go to boarding school and told me I smelled of smoke, usually because my Mum smoked cigarettes before vapes were invented.
No one's allowed to smoke in our house.
Good, because my Willie De uniform is thrown away.
So...you hate school? I love school, mostly because of my awesome best friend Pedro.
I know Pedro is your best friend, but school is a nightmare for me, mainly because of my autism.
But you're a grown woman! You never go to school!
You're right, I never do now. But I wish I was homeschooled!
You
,
13:19
Oh you do? Well I don't mind school, it's a fun place. Our teacher always encourages us.
Well, to me, school is a horrible place. The teachers always verbally abuse me, everyone laughs at me and I get angry throughout lessons. I wish I was homeschoo-
Okay, okay, I heard you the last few times!
But seriously, if I could do it all over again, I'd be homeschooled because all the kids are really loud and noisy.
Well, have you tried reading The First Day Of Homeschool? I keep this book somewhere on my shelf, and I always let mum read it to me before bed.
I'm going to get it next Monday morning.
Awesome! I also keep some Fireman Sam and Thunderbirds Are Go books on my shelf.
You're never bored. And look at your toy fire engines!
Yeah, cool, huh? I have millions of 'em!
So....I think your hobby is collecting toy fire engines, is that right?
You bet it is! I always beg Dad to take me to the toy shop to see the latest toy fire engines in stock.
Well, my hobbies include writing, video making, roleplay, collage making and....I seem to have forgotten.
Never mind. Mum says, "Leave it to one side until you think about it again."
You
,
13:31
Thanks for the advice, Dobro. Now, this Gerry Anderson email I received was absolutely true. They don't seem to make British kids' TV anymore. They're just sticking to American programmes to make kids speak in American accents in playgrounds everywhere we go!
The same goes to TV stations in my region. They don't show kids' TV like it used to anymore, they just air American stuff. And ABC doesn't show Thunderbirds, or Strange Hill High, or Scream Street, they just show My Little Pony! And My Little Pony doesn't belong on ABC!
Well I heard Pedro was oblivious, and so was Conquita.
That's no excuse! They're allowing full length toy advertisements on ABC, and that sucks!
DOBRO! Just look - under your bed. Mmmmm, mouldy sandwich. Bleaurgh. Broken toy plane? It's good for nothing with handymen, that is. Ah! Here it is. Your DVD pouch.
Alright! I was meaning to tell you about this. You see, Mum and Dad recorded everything that was on ABC Me on these makeshift blank DVDs so I could relieve what was on back then. Now there is only one ABC Kids channel. And it sucks! I want ABC Me back! It's my favourite channel!
Did everything go downhill from there?
Of course they did! ABC wanted to show more boring adult programmes, so they gave their creativity away to some weirdo who said kids' programmes were for babies.
And they're showing Cartoon Network shows, too, I did all my research.
You did...it makes me shudder just to think about Teen Titans Go being on there. I hate it!
Don't we all. It's been airing 24/7 on USA Cartoon Network, and some people are really annoyed.
Yeah! They just want toons of every variety, not a bunch of ridiculous superhero bullcookies!
You
,
13:42
Mmmmm, speaking of Cartoon Network, I found The Powerpuff Girls Movie too overstimulating.
I don't watch this movie either.
It would be much better if the movie showed a scene where a woman gave birth to a chimpanzee in hospital as Mojo Jojo explains his origins to the girls.
Eeeeewww! Gross! No human would ever give birth to a chimpanzee!
What could you say? It's only a cartoon, so there's nothing to be afraid of. Although I have to admit, the Dexter's Laboratory short Chicken Scratch is the best part of the entire DVD.
Well, I heard that in one of my classmate's comics, a woman gave birth to....wait for it........A LIVE COCKROACH!
YUCK! I gotta go and use the bathroom, be right back!
A few minutes later
Never talk about that comic again, Dobro. I heard it's not suitable for kids.
But he brought it in anyway. Don't you understand how stupid it is for kids to bring adult stuff into school?
Also over on Fanderson....there's a new article about the most fantastic and comfortable Thunderbirds event ever! Have a look:
Terra Tuesdays - The Worst Day Ever
Hi, Zero. I can't take it anymore!
Ah, hello dear girl, hm, very nice to see you again. Wait - why are you so sad?
I've had the worst day EVER!
Oh dear. I hate it when days like this happen - and on the day a new Terrahawks episode is arriving on the Gerry Anderson Youtube channel. How shameful. What happened?
Well, first I was chased by a bumblebee when we had a picnic, and then I sat and ate my lunch, which was good, then H whipped me and screamed at me to find a bin. Then we went to the car park and I got restless, and then we went to S's house and she had that stupid Moana sequel on! DISNEY IS BECOMING MORE LAZY BY THE MINUTE!!! crying
And the result is?
I'm never watching Moana or anything related to that stupid Maori girl again! She feels like Shrek!
Well, I think for a time like this, on a Terra Tuesday, when we feel a little namby-pamby, I think we should watch a little Peter Pan, don't you think?
Thanks, Zero. It's much better than new woke Disney.
I understand how lazy people feel over the rise of remakes and sequels - they're just too lazy. Nobody dares produce original content anymore, all except Aardman. I see the praise the latest Wallace & Gromit film got....but I too have had a bad day, just when I was looking forward to Terra Tuesday.
You
,
Yesterday 13:04
Oh have you? I can relate. What have you been up to?
Well, I was looking forward to taking cookies after lunch today, but instead Dr Ninestein gave me dog food. He thought I was the family pet and wanted to treat me like a puppy. Then I went to a hot car park and I felt so sweaty I immediately screamed for Ninestein to take me home, which he refused. Then we were watching a film and it was Mufasa: The Lion King, which made me want to blow my top and scream my head off.
That's horrible!
Yes, Ninestein thought today's films were real films, and Kate Kestrel told him to stop showing the film to him, but he did it anyway.
You
,
Yesterday 13:12
Oh dear, well, I can relate. Why don't we think up something that'll replace Moana 2? What if it were distributed by Dreamworks?
You
,
Yesterday 13:16
Listen: if we want to make something that's not as terrible as Moana 2, I think we should make something to replace that....dare I say it....F.B.
laughs
I know, of course, if you call her F.B. behind the backs of H and your mum, then the film series will get loads of hate.
You
,
Yesterday 13:19
Of course! Let everyone in the comments of Youtube, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram call Moana by her nickname 'F.B'. Anyway, my idea for an original story is that a young Maori couple set off on their honeymoon across the sea, only to run into a magic cloud which takes them to a strange island full of bizarre creatures and lush landscapes which they must escape if they want to return home.
Bravo, you're very good at rewriting what should've been the laziest Disney film idea ever.
Am I? Thanks!
What shall we name it, do you think?
Hmmmmmm....I think I should name it....'Ao Ke', which means, 'Strange World' in Maori.
Wow! What a good name, ha-ha!
How are you doing with Yung-Star at the moment?
We've been meeting in secret when we have the chance. Just about today I met Yung-Star and he was wearing green and blue zinc sunscreen and a swimsuit, because Zelda was taking him and Cy-Star to the beach. He offered me a lick of his ice cream and a sip of his Coke before Dr Ninestein and Zelda had to come and drag us away.
You
,
Yesterday 13:28
That was horrible! I would've loved to join you, then Dr Ninestein won't have to drag you away.
I know. Ninestein really is a horrible person, isn't he? He's more horrible than The Hood or Captain Black put together!
I know how you feel about Captain Scarlet at the moment, he's been suffering with PTSD ever since 2003.
That's when Channel 4's 100 Greatest Scary Moments aired, right? It was Halloween at the time.
Everyone's afraid of this special. Even I'm afraid of it.
It seems like the whole world suffered from mass hysteria during the time this dreadful two parter aired.
Mainly all the UK. They were the scariest moments in TV, film and music.
At least nobody suffered with PTSD.
Well, all except dear Captain Scarlet.
I.....I.....
Come on then, chap, speak up!
I....I.....I....
No time for dilly-dallying, I want to hear what the problem is.
I.....I DON'T WANT MUFASA! crying hysterically
Calm down then.
long silence
Oh. You're right, Zero, Moana 2 and Mufasa: The Lion King are the worst Disney films next to The Lion King II: Simba's Pride. And I feel that Kiara is the reason behind why Moana 2 exists.
You
,
Yesterday 13:39
Yeah, ever since she became president of Disney, she's been ordering the film industry to make more remakes and sequels, which are so soulless they lose the magic and charm of the original. She has even banned traditional hand drawn animation, which isn't fair as AI generated animation is taking over from the cartoons we love.
FOOL! I am the chemist!
Eh? What triggered your sudden anger?
My mother keeps asking me if I've been to the chemist's. Every single adult female has been overprotective to me - cleaning chocolate off my face, finding the right seatbelt, droning about the chemist....I'VE HAD ENOUGH, and it's spoiling Terra Tuesday!
You
,
Yesterday 13:44
Well you know what, chap? Ninestein is ruining my Terra Tuesday too! You know what? We should break the rules and ignore the fuss instead!
YEAH!
Don't let H and your mum throw you around and abuse you until you burst in the microwave like those Toad's Mistake videos!
Of course I won't! I'm much calmer now!
Good. So if I remember correctly, I have written a plan and kept it somewhere in Kate's drawer. Want to help me look?
Okay, no problem!
A few minutes later....
Found it! Er....Zero, why are you wearing Kate's favourite pink pair of Satin knickers on your head?
Because I just love wearing knickers on my head. It's my most favourite thing to do and it always makes my friends laugh - except Ninestein of course.
Knicked Kniiiickeeeers!
Both of us laugh
Ah, ah, good one, good one. Now, I overheard earlier on that you were looking at H's wedding photos. You had the idea of a version of The Sign featuring H, G, George and their kids and grandkids - and moving house too. All of us watched The Sign last year, and we were very upset by it. Luckily, Kate and Lt Hiro encouraged me to watch happy things instead.
Like what? Peter Pan?
Yes, Peter Pan. My favourite Disney film.
If only I could fly and never grow up like Peter Pan.
Me too. I've watched Peter Pan since I was a Mini Zeroid, and I have wished I could fly away to Neverland and join Peter Pan and the Lost Boys in defeating Captain Hook.
But Ninestein didn't let you, right?
No. He said he didn't believe in faith, trust and pixie dust.
But everyone else in your group does, don't they?
They do. They've spent ages trying to convince Ninestein to believe.
Well you don't have any hands unlike your team members. If you had hands, you'd clap to wake Tinker Bell up.
Ah yes, I would. It's sad I don't have any arms or legs. All I could do is jump and roll.
Well, at least your human friends have arms and legs. But unfortunately their legs aren't shown on your show.
That's because we're all puppets, and you're only human. You have arms, legs and a body, and that's all that matters.
Do the Cubes need to know that too?
You
,
Yesterday 14:08
Where have you been all this time?
I've been to the loo.
Us Zeroids don't use the toilet - except when we leak oil.
I see. Well, you Zeroids pee oil when you get scared, right?
Of course.
Well, I think whoever said that during my first Gerry Anderson podcast video was absolutely correct.
Ah, even the wisest sci-fi fans know knowledge.
Like ones for Stars Wars and Dr Who too?
Of course! British sci fi fans love Gerry Anderson, Star Wars and Dr Who.
That's why there are shops called Forbidden Planet.
Speaking of the 'plan' in planet, we almost forgot about my plan!
Oh right! Now....wait, I see you wrote your plan with blueberry ink! But...you don't have hands.
Ah who cares I can write without hands if I want to.
I laugh
Now, first up on the plan: order a pizza takeaway and lounge on the bed while eating it.
Ooh! Let's do that! I'd like a cheese and tomato pizza, chicken wings, cookies and Coke Zero.
I think I would like a pizza with everything on it, plus some ice cream and a Coke too.
You
,
Yesterday 14:39
Second thing: make a playlist for Stingray and Space 1999 - and I already did that!
Good for you, my girl. Now, third thing: don't sing Aqua Marina.
Yeah, I think you're right, Marina will get very-
Urp! No mentioning the word angry, I think we've had enough anger as it is today. Anger is the devil's minion.
You
,
Yesterday 14:43
Sorry about that. I'm afraid....
Of what?
I'm living the worst life ever.
You're not living the worst life ever, it's just an argument, and I'll give you 11 things you can do on Terra Tuesday to make it still feel like the best evening ever and not the best day ever.
1.Ignore everything about today.
2.Don't worry about it anymore.
3.Just put your mind onto doing the things you love, like talking to me for instance.
4.Watch something happy on the television - AS LONG AS IT'S NOT THE F.B! I meant Moana.
5.Dance all the sadness and anger out of your body.
6.Take three slow, gentle deep breaths and it'll all be out of your head.
7.Grab yourself a snack or a favourite drink and get out a board game to make up for the argument.
8.Try and make sure you never kick off ever again.
9.Watch something funny online.
10.Do some exercise from either Joe Wicks or Andy's Animal Workouts.
11-
ANDY'S ANIMAL WORKOUTS?! Are you CRAZY, Zero?! CBeebies has gone woke!
You
,
Yesterday 14:53
Oh. My bad, sorry, CBeebies too has lost its creativity.
Yeah, they're just airing imported American garbage.
You
,
Yesterday 14:56
Mmmmm, I can see that. I read an article saying from Teletubbies creator Anne Wood that kids in the playground are talking in American accents since Channel 4 and ITV are no longer producing shows for kids, and the BBC hasn't. Got. Budget.
You
,
Yesterday 15:00
I know, right, since when has Channel 4 aired another song and dance number from The Hoobs or Sesame Street?
And when has ITV aired another programme endorsed by HiT Entertainment, like Percy The Park Keeper or Kipper? Look inside this Telly Tots magazine and you'll see what I mean.
Ah, I can see that. ITV put colour into the grey corners of children's TV back then. Now they're a Rolling Stones song - they want everything to turn black.
I have been saving it from a local newsagent behind Ninestein's back!
So that's where you got it from.
I know right, bizarre! Anyway, if only we could do something to persuade the BBC to get its budget ba-
Hang on. Have you noticed Channel 4 once aired Street Sharks?
Yes.
Well, it feels more like a Japanese anime than a Western cartoon, way before the early 2000's boom in anime on kids' TV. When I was a baby and toddler, English-dubbed anime was all the rage for kids in America.
You
,
Yesterday 15:12
And kids in Britain too.
Thanks a lot, Captain Obvious.
I feel bad about the main cast of Digimon in Digimon Adventure 02.
I know, right, it felt like their owners were abusing them, and PETA wouldn't like that.
And have you played Pokemon: Black & Blue? I've been playing it a lot since Dr Ninestein started abusing me. Although I may have to skip the disgusting videos because they make me stressed.
Yeah, PETA makes me want to wrench, especially the content they produce over on their Youtube channel. The RSPCA are much better at making sure animals are safe.
I agree with you, PETA is quite a disgusting company to turn to.
Some videos say that they're responsible for killing animals instead of rehoming them, and that's not fair. We all want animals to live happily, not die sadly.
You
,
Yesterday 15:21
Of course! I bet Connor, the chimpanzee who was taken to a sanctuary, has been slaughtered into poisonous chimp meat.
Urgh, chimp meat tastes disgusting and smelly - almost like It Star.
I remember the day when he was born - it was so adult that ITV cut it out to make room for It Star popping out of the machine. I feel there is a little light on the back of his head that flashes to change his personalities. When it turns green, he becomes a little girl, when it turns red, he becomes a mad scientist.
What an innovation! I wish Zelda would present that at Apple's next conference.
Well, the best innovation is watches that change red whenever you are about to feel angry, and say tips on what to do if you get angry in a robotic voice.
I wish they invented them....but right now they're growing Lab meat.
Urgh....
And lab dairy, and lab fish. Everything will be very disgusting in two years, and we'll be starving with lots of strange, horrible, lab-bred, yucky food in our welfare!
Oh, disgusting! I wouldn't want to try it, and neither do Kate or Hiro, or even Yung-Star. I wish we had the real food so we could obey the food pyramid.
Did Helen's kids learn about the food pyramid at school?
Sargent Major Zero sees all.
Ooooooooooh!
You
,
Yesterday 15:32
And speaking of H, we're going to punish her for making you have a bad day!
YEAH! Er....how do we do that?
It's quite simple: all we have to do is follow these 11 easy steps:
1.Lock her in a cage for 100 years.
4.Drown her in a bathtub.
5.Feed her poisoned sausage rolls.
6.Throw her far into Space.
7.Bury her in the soil.
8.Send your dog Mylo to attack her!
9.Send a whole pack of dogs from a prison to attack her.
10.Throw her in a crocodile infested river.
11.Crucify her!
You
,
Yesterday 15:38
Hang on, Sargent Major Zero. You're planning to kill Helen the same way the Hebrew people killed Jesus? By nailing her hands flat onto a cross and leaving her to starve to death with no food or water?!
And then, until he was revealed to be alive years later, a harlequin version of his body took his place.
Gross!
We can't turn H into someone surrounded by blood and hard skin pieces, it would be suicide!
Good point, I think we'll leave the crucifying bit out.
Yeah, being crucified is terrible. The moment you hear about it in school, you get images of Jesus covered in blood and pieces of hard skin, even in his eyes!
Oh god...I'm going to be sick. Hang on a minute!
A few seconds later....
Zero! You alright?
Of course, had to upchuck a few bits and pieces and parts before I could roll back. I just left a vomit trail on the floor.
Oh god, Ninestein will be angry. Why don't we clean it up?
Of course. Let's clean up quickly before the Terrahawks see the mess.
10 minutes later....
Well, the nurse Zeroid said you have to lay off eating and drinking and just drink water until you feel less queasy and dizzy. Which reminds me - have you read Dork Diaries: Pop Star yet? At the beginning, Nikki (aka the most annoying book character in the world) and her sister Brianna have lunch at Brianna's favourite kiddie pizza joint, Queasy Cheesy, and then they come up on stage and do some funky dances to the 'I Love Queasy Cheesy' theme song.
Mmmmm, too much of a girly thing. Something for Kate Kestrel to read.
Do you find her annoying too?
The whole world finds her annoying. Next to Humphrey the hamster, she's the most annoying character in children's literature. I don't mean Kate, I meant Nikki.
You
,
Yesterday 15:49
Have you ever tried imagining what you can see when you hear the music of Terrahawks?
I've tried to, but Ninestein is always telling me to get back to work.
You
,
Yesterday 15:51
Well, he's away now, so I think I might share some music video ideas with you. The first is for 'Aka Tonbo' from Asian Dreamland, and features a red Chinese spirit in the form of a red dragonfly flittering through a peaceful Japanese countryside, encountering Lady Penelope and me (depicted as feral, comfortable people), Marina, Oink and the crew of Stingray aboard their steamboat and Venus, Zoonie and Robert (also depicted feral). At the end of the video, the dragonfly transforms into a mysterious hooded figure and wanders off into the fog.
Oh my word, what a beautiful piece of art you've thought up. What I want to know is how you think up all these wonderful ideas.
You
,
Yesterday 15:52
, EditedBy watching and reading of course!
Space 1999 - The Baby Bucket List
wakes up Wha.....what.....oh. Oh my god. It's you two! How's the new baby doing?
JOHN: Don't be so silly, she isn't born yet.
Her?!
HELENA: Of course - the results of my pregnancy test came back. It's a girl!
A girl? Wow!
JOHN: We've been waiting all week to hear about the gender of our bundle of love.
Well, thanks. Marina cut my brain open the get rid of an itchy patch, and she pulled out an itchy red blobby creature.
JOHN/HELENA: Urgh!/Oh my god!
JOHN: That's so disgusting!
But the detection services have sealed it up. That's why I have this bandage around my head.
HELENA: Sure, I can still see the blood stains. Anyway, did you bring the baby bucket list?
Of course I did!
Okay, so first thing's first: go to the zoo. You should go and visit the animals at Colchester Zoo, a place where I have been as a child.
HELENA: I would love to visit the zoo with my baby. I could study all the different animals and their noises.
Towards your baby...
HELENA: Yes, towards my baby.
Step 2: visit a theme park. You could visit CBeebies Land - it's much better than watching CBeebies on the TV nowadays, mainly due to how woke it is.
JOHN: Where might that be?
At Alton Towers of course.
JOHN: Alton Towers....hadn't heard that name in donkey's years.
I would recommend trying the Tweenies Playground or Bob The Builder, but they've been closed down to make room for CBeebies Land.
HELENA: Not to worry, Professor Bergman has invented a time machine that will take us back to the times these attractions are open. Don't blame us if you see we've been to Tweenies Playground in the photos!
Or Cloud Cuckoo Land.
You
,
29 min
, EditedJOHN: We could totally go there via the time machine.
Step 3: A trip to the beach.
JOHN: You know what? We've never been to the beach. It would be nice to go there with our baby by our side.
And now I've got an itchy finger.
HELENA: I'm a medical expert myself when it comes to itches. You know what's under your skin right now?
What?
HELENA: One of those little green biomagnetic worms that burrow under your skin while you're busy doing something.
Please don't cut my fingers off or open, you'll be in serious trouble over at Moonbase Alpha!
HELENA: Okay, well, my advice is to just put a little cream on your fingers and everything will be just fine.
Okay, I will! Anyway, step 4: adventures in the forest.
JOHN: There's a lot of jungle planets around, we could take our baby for walks in the safest part of the jungle - as long as there's no man eating plants, insects or animals around.
Well, they might've had kids of their own by then.
HELENA: Maybe our kid will know how to communicate with animals.
Of course she will, she's your baby, what else could you want?
JOHN: We could pack a picnic.
Of course! Maybe you could....take some binoculars?
JOHN: Of course.
Okay, okay, alright alright alright.
baby kicks
HELENA: Ooh!
JOHN: What's wrong, hun?
HELENA: She kicked.....and it felt so new to me.
She only has tiny feet, where else would she put them aside of your pregnant belly, Helena?
HELENA: It felt like I have been slugged to the stomach by a squirrel...in a good way.
You should go to the park and look at squirrels darting up the tree trunks.
HELENA: That's definitely going on our bucket list.
I....I have some bad news to tell you guys. I had a massive row with H yesterday, and it was all because I didn't say, "Can we please leave?" My mum was so upset with me, and I'm worried everyone will hate me.
HELENA: You have nothing to worry about, it's just a fact of life. We overheard your mum. If you say, "Can we please leave? I'm stressed an anxious," everything will work out just fine.
Good idea, Helena. By the way, how was your doctor's appointment?
HELENA: I did exactly as you said, Sybil, and my baby is healthy and well. It is very important to take rests when you're pregnant, and eat enough food to make your baby beautiful and healthy.
You
,
9 min
And I have an itchy foot!
HELENA: Biomagnetic worms.
Thanks a lot, Captain Obvious. Now I have pins and needles from crossing my legs a lot. You know how pins and needles are caused on the moon?
HELENA: I think it's-
JOHN: Let me explain. It's the Space Ants. They burrow under your skin while you're still in your space suit, and then you get this tingling feeling that would make you want to take your clothes off. Only water can eliminate the ants.
Oh. I see.
Stingray - The Weeping Tide - Part 1
Morning, Marina! Fully recovered from your little stint yet?
Of course I have! I've had a nourishing night's sleep after a warm bath. I'm very fond of baths in the ocean, mind you.
You
,
06:37
That's good, Marina, although, one thing is bothering me.
What is it? I'm always willing to listen.
Well, I feel very upset. Ever since I've fallen out with Helen, I feel like I might lose more and more friends with every single trip out. I might even lose Libby, who is taking me out on Friday!
Oh, that's horrible. I hate to see a talented young woman like yourself feeling down in the water dumps. It makes my heart sink. I lost all my friends not because of anger, not of Titan and X20 either, but because of poachers who want to eat and kill fish. I mean, there's plastic in the ocean, and all people are ever thinking about is doing their bit to clean the ocean, not the entire planet!
It's horrible when humans do that, Marina. It's glad you avoided those poachers, because you might be the only surviving mermaid in the ocean.
I know that. On the lighter side, I heard you've found a new Bluey Instagram fan artist!
You
,
06:42
Yeah! Good one, Marina, his name is Cricket and he does not only detailed Bluey fanart, but also Bluey fanart of his imaginary pairings. Want to see this one? https://www.instagram.com/p/C54j9ZTONJF/?img_index=1
That's outrageous....yet amazing! Pretzel has two mums? It's definitely going into my pictures folder. Will you teach me how to do Bluey fanart?
Of course! Anything for you. Which reminds me: I'm going to write a note to put into my bag. It says: "Can we please leave, I'm getting stressed and annoyed." It's for when I'm about to explode again.
Very good, I am always happy to hear you are taming your anger.
Thanks, Marina. Now, this video will help me despite it being too terrifying. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1L4EcysAbo&t=358s
YouTube video
Oh my god....it's a true terrifying Thomas fan's nightmare.
Even more terrifying than the fact Thomas went CGI, then to flash animation.
New Thomas sucks....it's been Americanised.
I know, Marina, that's because I read an article online with Teletubbies creator Anne Wood talking about how every single children's programme is cheap and American because Channel 4 and ITV no longer have the guts to do so, and the BBC has lost its budget.
You
,
06:52
I can't stand any of the American programmes on CBBC and CBeebies. They feel like Nickelodeon has taken over children's TV.
Yeah, Nick is now the master of loud sitcoms instead of cartoons.
Of course, I remember when Stingray aired in the 1990's, and I had glimpses into the Nick that once was in my free time. Instead of a loud sitcom-oriented family channel, it was a wacky, messy children's channel that focused on cartoons and original British content.
If only they could do a campaign where British characters are dubbed into loud American accents in noisy, fast paced clips, similar to this clip they did for Pact named 'Badass Wombles'.
We can't do this to our country's children! They need programmes which reflect their own lives, and now children are speaking in American accents in playgrounds - they're calling nappies 'diapers', money 'dollars' and trousers 'pants'.
Oh. Sorry, I was overthinking the whole American thing too much.
Of course you were, I feel like you've been possessed too. Plus, there's an itchy patch on my head which is brazen and raw.
You
,
07:02
Don't worry, I have some ocean cream that will soothe the itching and make the pain go away. Now where is it....ah, there it is. Some nice ocean cream. Hold still, it won't hurt a bit.
Eeew, eeew, EEEEWWWW!!
What's wrong?
The cream feels all sticky in my hair, and it's too oily and gooey, and it smells of seaweed!
I'll leave it on for a couple of hours, and then I shall wash your hair in the bath.
Thanks Marina, it's already dripping down my face.
Then we must get you into the bath right away. Mmmmmm, yes. Now I'll just check to see if the water's all nice and warm.....ah, yes. Just perfect. Into the bath you get. Now lie back and relax.
Are you sure it won't get into my eyes?
It won't! Trust me, it won't. Now, I'll just use Atlanta's special shampoo on your hair....there. Now it's in a nice, foamy lather. Do you feel the raw itchy patch going away?
A little.
Now I'll just rinse it off with clean water.....there now. Now, I'm going to use this to check what's underneath that itchy patch.
A scalpel?
Of course. Now hold still.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Oh dear, what on earth is that? A red, itchy, blobby monster covered in veins. He's the one behind all the itching. We'd best get you out of the bath and apply a bandage to your head before Troy and Atlanta find out. I'll tell Commander Shore about this and he'll call the detection services.
Marineville Detection Services?
They know how to deal with monsters that come to Marineville.
A few minutes later
We're out of the bathroom now. The detection men are called to deal with the itchy monster and detain it in a lab right this minute. If they do then they'll release all the monkeys that were meant for testing.
Good, because they are very cruel to them. Seen that PETA video on Youtube?
What PETA video?
The Baby Book one, one about a young monkey narrating his horrible time at the lab without his mother...seems sad when you think about it.
Oh my god....
What's wrong, Marina? You should be lucky that I am alive after you cut through my brain!
I know the itchy raw patch is gone, but Commander Shore is going to think I'm a murder and kick me off the Stingray crew for good.
Hey, my electronic watch device sent me a notification. Peppermint Sundae has put up a new piece of Bluey fanart. Wanna see it? https://www.instagram.com/p/DH7xC2-y9vb/
Oooh!
I know, right?
Yeah, it's funny to see Judo, Bluey and Winnie with their everythings pierced - and you with your brain pierced!
MARINA! Don't be so psychotic!
Oh, I forgot. Troy and Atlanta will totally think I cut your brain open.
Yeah, just let the pain settle. The blood will stop flowing out of my head once a new patch of skin heals.
Oh my god!
What is it now?
Look at you! I'm such a fool! I cut your brain open and now you have black spots and bags under your eyes, and your skin is all pale. We must send you to the sick bay immediately.
Wait. What are you doing? Aaaaaahhhh...so nice to be in the smooth, cool arms of Marineville's resident mermaid. yawns I feel safe with you, my dear Marina.
Even safer than you did with Penelope.
I wish the next episode of The Randomiser would be an episode of Thunderbirds.
I wish for it too. I just hope the next show would be my own.
Are we there yet? I'm getting weak.
We're there now. Let me lift you onto the sick bed and cover you with a nice, warm blanket. There. All done. You feel safe and sleepy now.
Don't use anything on my wound, Marina.
Why would I? I already put a bandage around your head.
I know, I feel a lot weaker.
But you're not close to death. That's a good thing.
Sometimes, I feel like I needed to cut myself because H shouted at me. Or H and I shouted at each other...or is it the other way round?
It's the other way round. I saw it all and reported it back to Marineville. You're in good hands now.
Mmmmmm...thank you, Marina, for giving me all the pain I needed to inflict upon myself.
You know, that wasn't a very nice thing to say. Suicide is very serious, especially in a place like mine.
I know. I understand that. Sorry, Marina.
It's okay, little one. What you need now is plenty of rest and a much needed lie down.
yawns
Marina hugs me
Marina....
Yes?
You and all the other characters in the Anderson universe are the best puppets I've met. There were other less satisfying puppets like Sooty, Radio Roo and Elmo....but you and all the rest have been happy to meet me.
You
,
07:36
I understand how you feel about all those puppets, weak one. Now get some sleep. Things will look better when you wake up.
Night, Marina.
Night.
Monday, 31 March 2025
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